New chapter is up. I'm not a fast writer so I apologize for the time between my updates. I hope that the wait will be worth it! Thank you so much for your reviews, please keep them coming!
She had change. That's the first thing Richard noticed when he saw her again after two years. First of all, her looks were different, she was so thin that her face had become hollow and she had dark circles under her eyes. But no matter what, she was still beautiful. Her looks wasn't the only thing he noticed. She was bitter and stern, barely acknowledging people in front of her. When he was in the grievances room, he watched her for at least half an hour and she never noticed him, or Zedd and Cara with her red leather. She didn't care about what people had to say to her, he had never seen her like this. And finally, when he stood in front of her, she used the same cold tone she used with everyone. It broke his heart. It wasn't how he imagined their reunion. He wanted to sweep her off her feet and kiss her but she wasn't the same and he feared her reaction. It's been two year, too long and she had a daughter now. Her life had changed and he didn't know if she still shared his feelings.
"Your room is ready Lord Rahl." A maid told him as she walked towards him in a corridor of the Confessor Palace. Ever since she ordered him to leave and that he heard her powers being released, he stood in the hallway just thinking about what happened.
He had been gone on his quest for six month when he had learnt that she was with child. Information travels slow in the Midlands. As she followed their plan to prevent the war against Tractan and the Midlands, everyone thought that her child was her mate's. She wasn't with child when he left her. He wanted to believe that this child was his, that something good for them could come out of all this. But when she got up from her chair in the grievance room and he saw that she was with child again, it broke his heart. She had lain with another man. It was like she had stabbed his heart with one of her dagger and cut his throat with the other. But could he really blame her? He was the one who left for his duty and she had hers. She went on with her life and her duty as the Mother Confessor. So maybe her first child wasn't his after all. Maybe the Spirits didn't grant them the possibility to create life together. But when she finally told him that the child was his, he was relieved, but she was with child again and this one couldn't be his.
"Get Sylvia and the healer, quick!" He heard a guard scream in the hallway. Something was happening in the room. He tried to approach the door but two guards were blocking his way. So lost in his thoughts he didn't even know when they arrived.
"Let me in." He hissed.
"We can't Lord Rahl, this is a restricted area for now." The guard told him.
"I said, let me in!" He repeated with anger.
"Lord Rahl!" Sylvia's voice interrupted him as he was about to reach for the Sword of Truth.
Turning to his left he saw her with his daughter in her arms.
"What's going on?" He asked her.
"You should talk to Kahlan." She replied before adding: "Now please, just stay away from the door and let me get inside."
"No, I'm coming in with you." He told her.
"Richard, do you trust me?" She asked.
He nodded, taken aback by her question and she told him: "Then just stay away and talk to Kahlan later."
"Alright." He replied, running a hand through his hair. He knew he could trust Sylvia and if she said that he could talk to Kahlan later, it meant that her life wasn't in danger. He watched Sylvia disappear behind the door and took at last look at his daughter. She was beautiful. She had blue eyes and dark hair just like her mother. He quickly calculated that she was about fifteen months old. She could walk and understand what Kahlan told her. But he didn't even know her name. He hung his head in shame, at the verge of tears. He had a daughter and he didn't even know her name. He felt a wave of emotions overwhelming him, he wanted to hold his daughter and learn everything about her, talk to her, read her stories. He wanted to be her father. If only things weren't so complicated. Millions of questions fused in his head. Did she still have feelings for him? Will she allow him to see his daughter? Will she let him stay in Aydindrill? Did she miss him? Will he be able to forget the fact that she was with another man? What will their lives be if she didn't want to be with him? And with everything that happened, did he want to be with her? Will she ever forget him for leaving? Did she hate him because he was a Rahl?
Lord Rahl, how he hated being called like that. It reminded him of Darken Rahl, that they shared the same blood. He was now the leader of the D'Haran Empire, big army and dozens of Mord'Sith. He wanted to do good and erase the twisted actions of his brother.
Many people walked past him and entered the room, most of them from the Council. He waited silently, his eyes threatened to close from time to time because he was exhausted. His quest has been long and difficult and he barely took time to rest. Many times, Zedd told him to slow down, to sleep more, to fight less, to be careful but he just wanted to fight and get over this quickly. He missed fighting, at first he didn't like it but in the end it allowed him to channel his anger and his sadness. He remembered the fight when he learnt that Kahlan had given birth, he fought against dozens of Banelings and when it was over, he wanted more. He almost killed Cara that day. He was so angry and lost in his fury that when she approached her at the end of the battle, he almost ran her through with his sword.
"Lord Rahl." Sylvia called him when she reached him.
He looked up at her and she said: "The Council and the Mother Confessor are ready to see you now if you'd like to, it will allow the Mother Confessor to get the afternoon off."
He nodded and they both entered the room. Kahlan and the members of the Council were sitting at a big wooden table. He scanned the room, looking for his daughter. She wasn't in the room anymore. His eyes settled on Kahlan who looked even more tired than before, if that were possible. She was avoiding his look. He stood tall in front of them.
The head of the Council, the same old man Richard saw the last time he met him, got up and said: "Lord Rahl, it's an honor to have you here."
He simply nodded in answer, his gaze was fixed on Kahlan.
The head of the Council cleared his throat and said: "The Mother Confessor informed us that you have… plans…"
Richard turned his head and said: "I want The Midlands and D'Hara to be at peace, work together as one territory. I'm not the man my brother was, you know who I am and I think we could all gain by joining forces."
"Very well, we are very glad to hear that Lord Rahl." The old man said.
"Although… I have two conditions that I would like to discuss with the Mother Confessor… In private." Richard said.
Finally, he had caught her attention. The members of the Council all left and they were face to face again.
"I'm listening." Kahlan said coldly.
"First, I would like to spend time with your daughter. Get to know her." He said.
She nodded her head in answer. He could see her clenching her jaw and furrowing her brow. He had never seen her so tense, she was breathing heavily. The thought creped in his mind that he was the one causing her so much distress and he hate himself for it.
Swallowing hard, he tried to focus on what he had to say to her: "Then, I would like to offer the best cares to Zedd."
Her features changed into a questioning look and Richard explained: "It was one week before I defeated the Keeper, some Sisters of the Dark poisoned me. Zedd used his magic to heal me and he absorbed the poison within him. Ever since, we've been looking for a cure, but it was in vain. For now his magic helps him to fight but it's not going to last forever. Our only hope now is to find something here, in the Palace or in the Wizard's Keep."
"So, if you want the Midlands to be at peace with D'Hara, I want you to allow me spend time with your daughter and to let me go through every book to find Zedd a cure, and let your healers help him." He said sternly.
So that was it… The reason he came back. To heal Zedd and eventually spend time with his daughter. Kahlan knew that it was probably better that way, that he didn't come back for her. After all, she didn't deserve him, she was a monster.
"Zedd is dying?" She asked, to be sure she got everything right.
Richard nodded and she added with a shrug: "Never thought the old man would make it through your quest anyway."
Richard received her words as a fist in the stomach. Tears filled his eyes and he said: "Damn it Kahlan, it's Zedd! My gran-father, your daughter's great gran-father, Wizard of the first order, the man who saved both of our lives more times than we can count."
He couldn't understand why she was so heartless, it was Zedd. She used to love him, treat him as her own gran-father and now she didn't even bother.
She got up and Richard's eyes immediately fell on the bump of her stomach. It seemed that she hadn't been with child for so long, just enough for people to notice.
"You can stay and do whatever you want to help him. Your two conditions are accepted Lord Rahl." She told him.
"What happened to you Kahlan?" He asked, trying his best not to let tears fall on his face.
"You did." She replied before walking to the door, turning her back to him.
His breath got stuck in his throat. She blamed him… of course she blamed him. He was the one who left, condemning her to give birth and raise her daughter alone, to take a mate. But he couldn't blame her in return. It was his entire fault, his choices changed things between them and he had to suffer the consequences.
"Your daughter, what's her name?" He asked, stopping her in her tracks.
"Cassandra Tarralyn Amnell." She said, without looking back at him.
"I'll see you tonight at the banquet. The Council will want to celebrate the fact that the Lord Rahl is not going to end us all." She quickly added before leaving the room.
The sound of the door startled him. He sat on a chair and took his head in his hands. He needed to clear his mind, to be able to think straight but he couldn't. Zedd was dying, Kahlan hated him and she was with child. The Kahlan he knew wouldn't have been able to lay with someone else so it meant only one thing: she wasn't in love with him anymore. He took a deep breath. First he had to find a way to save Zedd and then spend some time with Cassandra. He would have to deal with the fact that Kahlan hated him and find a way to live under the same roof and be with their daughter. If he couldn't manage to make it work, then he will leave for the People Palace.
But could he really stay in Aydindrill anyway? Seeing her everyday knowing that she had taken another to her bed. Seeing her raising another's child. Of course he wanted to be a father to his daughter but could he endure it all? The pain, the anguish of what he did to her? Maybe it would be better to leave them now. What a fool he had been thinking that coming back to Aydindrill was the best thing to do. He thought that he was coming back to his family but he was coming back to nothing except pain and sadness. She probably didn't want him back anyway. Sighing again, he got up. He was decided to try to make it work and if he couldn't, then he would leave.