Tutoring

No, I still don't own the rights to anything related to Twilight!

BPOV

It was early evening when I woke up. Looking around, trying to get my bearings I realized that I had slept the whole afternoon away. Ah crap, I didn't want to do that. I really wanted to get some things done before classes started tomorrow.

I looked around as I stretched and yawned, why was it so quiet, where was everyone? Slowly rising from the lounge chair I walked towards the door. As I looked into the adjoining room, I saw two people on the couch playing Wii, but no sign of my friends.

Making my way towards the front of the house, I peeked in the study room and saw Roxanne with her face screwed up in concentration, deeply engrossed in her studies. I walked upstairs, entered our room and sat on my bed. Maybe a shower would help clear the fog my brain was in from my nap. I grabbed a change of clothes, heading into the shower.

As I was showering my mind was a buzz of any number of things that I had to address. Ian… my assignment for Integrating Technology…getting a job…my birthday, at that last thought my mind stopped reeling to dwell on that thought for a few minutes.

The dreaded day was two weeks away, I knew I needed to keep Roxanne from finding out it was my birthday otherwise she might make a big deal of it. As far back as I could remember I always hated my birthday, but now I didn't just hate it, I despised it. The date was just a prelude to another date I didn't want to face! It was hard to believe that it would be a full year now since 'he' disappeared.

As I was drying my hair, I thought about everything that had happened over this past year.

It took months for me to start talking to anyone, much less conducting myself as a living breathing person. Then the voice in my head started which caused Jake and I to become friends. He was the one person who was able to get through to me and get me to the point of actually appearing like I was over 'him'. I looked into the mirror and stared at my face. No, I had to push these thoughts away. This was not the time to dwell in this dark place.

Shaking my head to clear it of those thoughts I decided it was time to grab dinner. Maybe Roxanne would be ready to take a break for an hour or two and then we could both settle in and get more studying done. My classes on Monday didn't start until ten, so I could get some things done in the morning as well. A job…a job… my thoughts kept repeating as I headed down the steps.

I peeked my head into the study room and whistled to Roxanne. "Hey, wake up. Stop acting like you're engrossed in that. Let's get something to eat."

She leaned back in her chair smiling at me, "So Sleeping Beauty awakes!" She stood up closing her laptop, "If you hadn't woken up in about fifteen minutes, I was going to search the house for Prince Charming to come and rescue you" she started chuckling.

For studying all afternoon she was pretty cheerful. "So Wolfgang, what's for dinner?" You did so well with breakfast, I'm hoping you have a heart and take pity on me because while you were napping, I was hard at work'' she said while putting her arm around my shoulder.

I smiled at her, "No way, you are not getting out of helping tonight. If I cooked then we'd be setting a precedent, and there's no way I'm becoming your personal chef."

The kitchen was empty and as I was looking through the cabinets, she started rummaging through the refrigerator. "Well, the cupboards are bare, the only thing left from my trip to the store is another jar of spaghetti sauce and some pasta. Sooo…looks like you're the cook tonight. You need to practice opening jars anyway, I think you're getting rusty!" I teased her as we continued looking through the cabinets in the hopes of finding something better.

We worked together to cook our meal and as we ate, we talked about our assignments and what we had to accomplish this week. I told her I really needed to find a job, cash was quickly becoming a problem and there was no way I was going to rely on Renee or Charlie. We decided we would meet after her last class tomorrow and head to the student center to see if there were any job postings that would fit my course schedule. Afterwards we could head to the store to stock up on food.

"Okay, I think I've procrastinated enough. I really have to knuckle under and get to the Integrated Technology assignment. It's due on Tuesday and I think it's going to take me that long to decipher what needs to get done." I said dramatically. "I'll be right back I just need to get my laptop and books."

Once I was settled in at a table in the study room, I quickly scanned the assignment again. There was just no use I wasn't getting this. I had to adopt a software program that interfaced with the computer and a smart board. My project required that I write an assignment for a class room and have it interface with all of the components. I sighed, put my elbows on the table and my head in my hands just staring at the computer screen.

My face was scrunched up as if squinting would help me understand the project. All of a sudden I heard laughing and I looked over my laptop screen to see Ian in the doorway grinning at me.

"What's so funny?" I asked innocently, thinking 'wow' talk about Jekyll and Hyde.

"You Bella; your face, as you were staring at your screen, it was classic. Do you always make that face when doing class assignments?" he teased me while heading over to see what it was I was so focused on. "Oh, the subject that is quickly becoming your favorite course. Well, then I'll leave you to it." He began sauntering off.

"Wait" I yelled. "Uncle, I give up! I can't do it! I'm helpless, okay? The white flag has officially been raised. I need help and since you laughed at me, you get to help" I grinned and gave him my best flirting face.

He laughed, "Well, that face is definitely a much better one than the one earlier and since you admitted defeat…I guess I could give you a few pointers." Pulling a chair alongside me, he began to show me what the assignment was all about.

Being the student that tends to zone out if the subject matter isn't interesting, I started thinking about his abrupt change in attitude. One day he's happy and playful, the next he's shutting me down completely, then he's extremely sad and now he's helping me with homework with natural ease! What could possibly cause this erratic behavior? Could I be right, was I the cause, or maybe it was something else that I had no business interfering with.

I began noticing his features, he had really nice hair; it was a bit wavy and had subtle highlights at the tips. The highlights were natural though as if the summer sun had kissed them. And his eyes, a person could get lost in those green eyes.

He was talking to me as I was studying his face and he probably thought I was listening intently, but that was not the case at all. I was starting to see Ian in a whole different light. This couldn't be good; I really should try and focus on his instructions. Class was Tuesday and I couldn't very well tell the professor 'sorry, I got distracted by a guy in my house as he was tutoring me and I didn't listen to a word he was saying because he was too cute'. Focus Bella…focus.

"Okay, so does any of that help?" he asked as he finished. Ut oh, busted. I hadn't heard a word he said, I was too busy checking him out.

"Kinda...I guess. Maybe you should go through it one more time." I said with as much conviction as I could. This time I really had to listen.

After we finished with the assignment, I did have a better understanding of what was needed. I sat back in my chair and grinned, I felt a hundred percent better. At least, I didn't have to worry about class on Tuesday. "Thank you, I can't thank you enough. I know I'm gushing here but seriously this class intimidates me," I said dramatically.

"No problem, don't worry about it, you'll catch on. Especially if Drake and I are here to help you with the assignments, but…" he reached over and lightly touched the tip of my nose, "you need to pay better attention when someone tutors you" he laughed lightly while standing up.

I blushed a deep red mumbling..."I was paying attention, it's just a little confusing."

"Bella, I saw your eyes glaze over when I first started showing you what to do. What were you thinking about, because it certainly wasn't the instructions I was giving." He leaned back against the table folding his arms across his chest and waited for my answer.

"Nothing, I was…thinking…how, um…" I stuttered trying to think of something. "how much easier class would be if you were teaching it." Phew, that might be believable.

"Uh huh, whatever" he said while rolling his eyes. "Well, I need a beer, you're not the easiest person to tutor." He headed towards the door and I watched him leaving still wondering what was up with him. Just as I had committed to myself earlier, I wasn't going to bed tonight until I knew what was going on with him.

I packed up my things and went to Roxanne's table to see if she was making any progress. "Hey, how's it going? Are you almost done?"

"Nope, I've got a couple of more hours here. My business course requires that I create a fictitious company for the semester and I'm on a roll here." She said as she highlighted a paragraph in her textbook.

"Okay then. Good night." I grabbed my things and walked towards the common room, knowing I would find Ian in there, or at least hoping he was in there. Sure enough he was sitting by the fireplace, drinking his beer just staring into space.

Setting my stuff down by the chair facing his, I plopped down so as to break his concentration. I smiled at him and said, "So does the beer help?"

"Help?" he asked confused.

"To dull the pain from teaching a complete idiot!" I said with exaggeration.

He laughed, "Bella, you're not a bad student. You just need to focus." He looked down at his beer and then looked up again, "aren't you heading up to bed?"

"No, my first class isn't until ten, so I thought I'd join you."

"But you don't have a beer. Would you like me to get you one?" He smiled as he moved forward on the chair in an attempt to get me one.

"That's okay, but you could do me a favor…" I said nervously. It's now or never, I just had to dive in. This was not the time to falter. He sat back in his chair, "What is it Bella?" there was a tone of caution in his voice as he answered me.

"Well, I was wondering if you would be honest and tell me why your attitude towards me has been doing flips all day" I said as I nervously picked at the fabric on the chair.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds and then sighed deeply. I didn't think I was going to get an answer because he was quiet from some time. Then finally, "When you went to the ladies room last night, Roxanne had a talk with me."

Now he had my complete and undivided attention, I was looking at him confused. "A talk, what did she say?"

He hesitated. This must have been some talk; I couldn't imagine what Roxanne could have said that caused him to react so strongly. My heart rate was speeding up and I felt my palms sweating, what was it that was making him so hesitant.

"She told me that you had been through a lot before coming to school and someone in your life hurt you badly. She said you were in a delicate state and I would probably be a very bad influence in your life right now. She's afraid you are very close to a breakdown and wants me to keep my distance." He looked at me studying my face. "Roxanne loves you Bella, she only wants the best for you. She's afraid I'll hurt you, in fact she thinks if I get involved with you right now, it could be the worst thing for you." He paused and waited for me to say something, but I couldn't…I was speechless.

How could she do this to me, this was none of her business, she barely knows me. The worst of it was, she doesn't even know my story, also I never told her I had an interest in Ian. So once again, Roxanne was jumping to conclusions, only this time it was about me! I felt my anger rising as my face was getting red, but I still couldn't speak.

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you, I've been attracted to you from the moment I saw you on the stairs. I'm sorry for telling you this, but my behavior today, I hope is an indicator of just how much you mean to me. If staying away is good for you then I'll stay away. But after this afternoon, I went up to my room and thought about everything Roxanne said." He sighed and took a sip of his beer.

He looked up at the ceiling before continuing, "It doesn't seem like you want me to stay away. So I'm conflicted, should I stay away or do you want me to be someone in your life?" He said with overwhelming sincerity.

We sat there in silence for several minutes, I knew he was waiting for an answer from me, but I was still unable to speak. I was looking down at the floor and wringing my hands, what was I going to tell him. I couldn't tell him what I had been through. But he had to understand I was trying my best to create a future and forget the past. The question was, is he a part of that future? I didn't know, how could I know that! All I knew was today while he was giving me the cold shoulder it hurt, not the hurt I felt when 'he' left, but a tugging on my heart all the same.

I looked up at him, he had his head down looking at his beer. His shoulders were hunched over as he was sorting through his own thoughts. I had to say something. "Ian, wow…I'm sorry." At this point he looked up at me and began to interrupt, "It's okay, no problem Bella, I understand…"

"No, wait. You didn't let me finish. I'm sorry Roxanne took it upon herself to tell you those things. She really had no right. It's not up to her who I become friends with or anything else for that matter. I'm not going to tell you I'm ready to date anyone, because I'm not. But Ian, I don't want you to stay away from me, I enjoy our friendship." I smiled at him trying to reassure him.

He kept his eyes on my face as I continued. "If anyone stands to get hurt here, it's you. I've known you had an interest in me but I also know that I'm not ready for anything more than friendship. So the decision is yours, not mine. How do you feel about hanging out with me knowing you have feelings I can't return?" I looked him right in the eyes so he could see that I was very serious.

During my speech, he kept his eyes on mine and his face was very serious. When I finished, he smiled and I could see his whole body relax. "Thank you," he said, although it was more of a sigh than a statement. His whole demeanor was changing right before my eyes. I couldn't help it, I felt myself smiling back at him.

"You're welcome, but for what?"

"You have no idea the struggle I've been going through since Roxanne told me that last night. I didn't know how I should act around you," he said as he drained his beer. "I feel like celebrating now.

"Look we don't have to be anything more than friends for now, I want nothing more from you than what you are willing to share. If over the course of time, our relationship develops into something more than great, but honestly all I really want is to get to know you better." He smiled and held up his beer as if to toast to the statement.

I was grinning like a fool. This had gone so much better than I anticipated. Not only had I cleared up the mystery of Ian, but I also clarified my position on not being ready for a relationship. The best thing that had come from our conversation was, now I had a friendship that I would treasure.

"Good, I'm glad we've cleared the air. I feel so much better knowing we're good again." He and I both smiled knowing that I was referring to this afternoon's conversation. "Now I can go to bed!" With that I stood, grabbed my things and leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you again for your help with my assignment."

I walked out of the room, but before heading upstairs I had one little matter to clear up. My new best friend needed to understand she over stepped her boundaries. I marched into the study room and walked right over to her table. I reached down, grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her to her feet. I knew lifting her from her chair would not have been possible under normal conditions, but because I was so angry and took her by surprise, I did it with ease.

"Who gave you the right to speak to Ian about my feelings?" I said furiously. She just studied my face and seemed to crumble in my grasp.

"Let me explain, please?" she whined.