THE HERE AND NOW
CHAPTER 37
"TEAL'C"
He wasn't given an order, nor was he given a choice in the matter. He always knew his friend was a great warrior and that he was a very good strategist, he knew this and yet he had never once seen this coming. Right before him stood a very exited little girl smiling up at him, she had come to him with a simple request really but one he would gladly not take, oh sure he was a fierce warrior and would take on any mission given to him despite how dangerous it might be, but this, this was a whole new ball game. You see April O'Neill had asked him to accompany her to her friends house, he was to help her and her friend is family to unpack there things, not and odd request, but the when the family consisted of one Aaron Shanahan and Samantha Carter things tended to be a lot more complicated.
He had not seem the Samantha ever since there little encounter were they had to save her son and idiot of a mate from being killed by one of O'Neill is old friends, back then every thing had been simple, one objective and no need to get into personal, but this request smelled of a set up. It was an encounter between himself and Samantha, one were they would most likely have an in-depth conversation about what had happened and so on, one conversation he did not wish to have.
"Pleaseeeeeee!"
"I do not think"
"Pleaseeeeee!"
If the father was good the daughter was better, Jack had a legendary stubborn streak, one that he had passed to his young daughter; April smiled when she saw the big jaffa began to cave in, t'ealc took a deep breath and shock his head, there was no way he could refused her and even if he did then O'Neill would most likely think of something else to get him close to Samantha, better to do this right now than to keep avoiding the inevitable.
"Why are you so insistent?"
"Cuz"
Unfortunately he knew that this was all the explanation a child would give, and that to them it was a good one. He how ever still had other duties to attend to one was finding O'Neill and confronting him about this little plan he had worked out. Arriving at his office he saw Bratac and frowned, the man was good. Bratac is presence only indicated that O'Neill was ready for any thing hence why he had brought back up.
"So you have found out what young O'Neill wished of you"
If he didn't know better he could swear that his old teacher was in on it and was actually enjoying this development. He how ever couldn't focus on this, he was here to speak to O'Neill, the man had some explaining to do and he was going to get a reason for this little incident.
"Why did you tell her to ask me?"
"Cuz I think you and Carter need to work things out"
He knew he was being a hypocrite, jeez he wanted to punch himself but he also knew that this had to be done, he couldn't have a fractured base, nor could he have his best people not Seeing Eye to eye.
"What of you O'Neill?"
He knew this was coming and as such he was ready for it, perhaps not as ready as he wanted to be but he could deal, he had been trough worse, he knew t'ealc was going to bring him and perhaps his feelings towards Carter into this so he had prepared himself for the worst.
"I need to do so as well just not at this time"
Bratac could see that this conversation would get out of hand if he did not intervene, O'Neill was clearly uncomfortable with t'ealc is worlds and t'ealc was going to use that to try and win this argument.
"T'ealc, what ever reason he has for not speaking to her he will deal with them on his own; it is you who now must face this"
"I will for I do not run away from a challenge"
Bratac frowned and shock his head, that had stung and he knew it, his old friend had done this so that jack would feel ashamed of his action and if the silence in the room was any indication it had worked, talking his leave the once first prime leaves them and the old warrior looks at the tauri with sympathy in his eyes.
"I think he was trying to encourage you"
Jack smiled, tealc had a definite way of encouraging you and at the same time making you feel like a rat, he knew he needed to deal with his feelings hell probably half the base knew it. The thing was denial worked for him, it didn't have to unsettling consequences that he knew talking would bring, but most of all the thing he didn't like was the fact that he was scared. Sam was always bad for him, she made him feel and bring out emotions that he believed were buried, she made him want to be better made him want to be better, even now after all the time she had been away he couldn't help but feel that way again.
All that time had not changed how she made him feel, how she affected him and he hated himself for being so weak, for giving in when he knew he shouldn't, he had made peace with her leaving them a long time ago and now it seem that every thing had been brought back, all the pain and chaos her departure had left were back full force.
"Funny way of showing it"
"True but you are running are you not"?
Jack smiled, the old guy could read a person like a book, and he had been too tired to just fake happy or annoyed, truth was he was tired of it. He was tired of dealing with ever thing since her return; the woman was always trouble he had figured that out since he had met her.
"It's complicated"
Bratac scoffed and shock his head.
"Most things in life are O'Neill"
"I know buddy but some I just don't know if I can deal with right now"
Bratac frowned, if there was one thing he hated to see in a warrior was doubt, doubt was the reason warriors hesitated and died, it was because of doubt that many didn't raised up in arms and fought against the so call god. Yet in all the time he had known this man he had never once showed any thing but confidence, he never doubted his decision or if he did he hid them well and followed trough on what needed to be done. He was not a normal human bratac could see this and now he seem defeated and broken, as if his spirit had been hurt one to many time.
"Your emotions will be you down fall O'Neill"
"Huh? Were did that come from?"
"If you love this one then why not tell her, embrace what you're feeling tell her"
Jack smiled and shock his head, bratac was confused he knew he was not mistaken yet O'Neill is gestures seem to indicate that he was wrong. Jack on the other hand was a little taken back by the man is words, he knew that what he had felt for carter but to have it spoken right out In the open like that made him realized that maybe he wasn't as good at keeping his feelings hidden as he thought he was. But that had been a long time ago, this was different, he felt nothing for carter not any more.
She had made her choices and just as she had to live with them he had to do also, he couldn't just go back to the way things were despite his desire to do so, he wanted it so badly and yet he knew that there time had long since ended and that is why he felt how he did, why his emotions had taken such a drastic change in the time Samantha was away. Maybe it was his way of dealing with her loss or some thing like that but it is how he had coped with her leaving.
"Is this not the case?"
"No, no you're right, the thing is…I don't think I love her"
It wasn't love, but he was afraid to say what he felt, no man likes to talk about emotions specially jack but some how he knew that he had to get this in the open.
"Oh?"
Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he didn't ever want to admit this to any one but he had to or else that feeling was going to do just was bratact had told him it would, it would break him and it would indeed be his down fall. He couldn't pretend for ever, nor could he keep the act indefinitely, sooner or later he was going to have to deal with it, might as well be right now, hell maybe the old guy had some advice for him. Taking a deep breath he looks away and lets out a small anguish laugh.
"I think I hate her"
--(Sam & T'ealc)--
Sam looked at the jaffa and smiled, she wasn't sure how to react, or if Aaron even knew the man, but as soon as her son rushed out to greet Mr. Tealc and April it was clear that he had indeed meet tealc and found him the least bit scary, something most children saw in him.
"So ah come on in"
Sam gestured for the two to get inside and was surprised when her son rushed past her grabbed a hold of April and ran off.
"Yeah ill show you my room!"
Just like that he was left with her and she with him, taking a deep breath she turn to him and smiled, this was awkward and it shouldn't be like that. There was a time when they could talk about any thing, when she shared her pain and loss with him, if there were ever a true friend t'ealc would be the perfect one but that had been in the past that had been a different carter just as he had been a different t'ealc. This carter had made a mistake and she had to redeem herself she had to start over and this t'ealc was a distant and cold one.
"You needed assistance?"
She smiled and pointed all around her, while it was true that she needed some one to move the heavier stuff, she was pretty much done.
"O'Neill should be here"
Sam cringe at the way he spoke, it seem jack had pulled another fast one, which brought on the question, was he avoiding her? Every thing seem to be fine between them, ever since her return he was the one who didn't out right avoid her, hell he had been the one to open up the doors for her return. It made no sense, if Jack was the one who was originally coming then why back out now? An S.G.A emergency perhaps?
"Look t'ealc if you don't want to"
The man seem to contemplate something before turning towards her, he fixed her with one of his raised eye brows and took a deep breath, he had heard what she had said on the car when they had been following the N.I.D is goons, still this an easy situation did not make.
"It is difficult to understand why you chose to do thing the way you did"
"I'm having a hard time understanding that myself"
That seem to surprise the jaffa and she smiled, the thing was it was the truth, ever since her conversation with Hailey things didn't seem to be that simple any more. She wondered about the why and the what ifs, but mostly she wondered about the way she had done things, had she really been that unsure of herself, sure give her a naquada reactor and she would know what to do then, give her any mission and she could pretty much pull it off, but give her a personal life and she screwed it all up.
"I honestly don't know what to say tealc, I screwed up, I don't know why but I always been a screw up when it came to my personal life"
Tealc frowned, this wasn't what he was hoping for, and the thing was that while he had felt the pain of being betrayed he had to a certain point understood the need to branch out on your own. He after all was the ultimate betrayer. Still her actions spoke in volumes she had left them because of her desire to start a new, to begin a family with her husband to be happy and in that he could understand her perfectly, but in her actions of leaving them all behind and not telling them were she was; that was were the problem was.
"I do not know what to say either"
For the first time in his warrior life he had no words, he looked at the woman in front of him and saw only a shell of the proud warrior and scientist he had once meet.
"You know this is going better than I thought it would"
T'ealc nodded, he had expected to be confronted with reasons and excuses instead he found a woman whom is hurt he could almost touch and whose regret at her actions were eating her up inside, she was once a friend an allied and so he took a deep breath and walked over to her.
"I believe that we have much to talk about"
Sam smiled and nodded, t'ealc seem to be given her a second chance, no reprimands and no judgment only a talk and an understanding ear that would listened to her, she smiled and wondered if he had talked to Janet before coming to here.
--(Janet & Daniel)--
Janet looked at Daniel with a frown, there was always something with that man, he always seem to have his mind either on some book or on some problem, the thing with Daniel was that she couldn't help but like that about him.
"So she isn't dealing as well?"
"I think she is still having some trouble with what she did, or understanding why she had to leave us behind"
"Some how Daniel I don't think that was all her"
Daniel frowned, Sam was a smart person but her particular taste in men was not that good; neither was her track record with the men she chose. Pete was only an example in a long line of men in Sam is life, men who were wrong for her.
"Well I think it was her desire that was clouding her judgment, but then I guess she was just tired of it all"
She nodded and looked at the archeologist, they all understood the desire to just leave this life behind and just have a normal life and be like very one else, to just worry about the bills and taxes. A happy family was a desire that neither of them could turn away from, not if they had there chance at one, that much they couldn't blame on her, if they had that chance neither knew if they could turn it down.
"Do you think that now given the circumstances we would have to make a similar choice?"
"I don't know, but even If I cut out the sgc out of my life I know that I would never cut my friend off"
Janet nodded; it was true, the thing with Sam was the fact that she had let things get from bad to worse. She had cut all ties with them, as to the why that still was something they didn't know.
"You know I don't think she even knows why she did it"
Daniel smiled, that couldn't be more true, Sam seem to be off some how, as if she herself was just realizing what she did and how much she hurt them by doing what she did. Janet how ever was deep in thought but hers with one silver haired man, out of all the people that Sam had come across he was the one she worried the most for, jack O'Neill might know how to hide from the others but not from her.
"Jan?"
"Sorry Daniel just thinking"
Daniel smiled, here they were the so very important second date and they were talking about there friend, turning away from that topic, he smiles at her and reached for her hand, she raises and eye brow and smiles.
"You know why don't we forget about that for a while and let's focus on us"
"Why Doctor Jackson I never knew you could be so forward"
"You'll be surprise how forward I can be, especially if I have the right incentive"
She smiled and leaned towards him, a soft peck on the check and he smiled, things were turning out better than he or she had hoped they would.
--(JACK)--
Jack looked at his clock for what could possibly the hundredth time and frowned, the meeting had been extended for what seem like hours, in truth he was glad that he could play catch up with the Atlantis expedition he just wished that it would last this long.
"Lisa had reported that the Z.P.M we have has half of its power left"
"Yes I know, hence why were pushing production on a new one"
O'Neill hated this part, he knew very well how to built the deam things, the materials required for them was a whole different matter, not only were they almost non existent now but to actually fuse them into one that actually worked, well that was one hell of a complex thing to do. Doctor weird noticed the look on O'Neill and frowned, she knows the kind of pressure they were on but she could tell that there was something else bothering him.
"That all well and good general; but that z.p.m"
The room froze when Rodney McKay is words left his mouth, every one in the table knew that if there was one thing you did not do was piss off a man who had enough on his plate.
"Will last until we have enough resources to built another"
"General I don't think you see the"
"No McKay, I do I see better than any of you do, all thanks to those deam light bulbs is storage in my head. I see that you are in deep shit hell I even know how important the city is, what you fail to comprehend McKay is that asking for things is relatively easy than getting them"
Standing up he dismissed them and walks to his office, McKay always did have a way of getting to one is nerves but the conversation he and bratac had, had done nothing but make him feel more on edge, he saw Elizabeth coming into his office and frowned, he knew the woman was good but some times he wished he didn't have to deal with her.
"If you're here to tell me I was out of line"
"No I think you took care of my problem for me"
She smiles and sits down in front of his desk, over the past years she had seen the man and not the general and despite living light years away they had developed this weird and some times awkward friendship.
"You know I wasn't kidding, getting the material is deam hard"
"So I heard. Lisa is trying to come up with a new version of the things, less effective but with materials that can be found now days. As much as that helps us we still have a long ways to go"
"The asguard volunteered to send some one who could help you guys out with the city is defenses"
Elizabeth nodded, the ship they had sent was pretty powerful all right, kept those second rate vampires from attempting there little attacks, still more ships came each month and the valkir was weakening.
"It's really appreciated but to be honest general I don't know how much we have left in us"
Jack raised an eye brow, that sounded too much like quitter talk, he dislike that kind of talk especially from the woman who was keeping the front lines safe.
"I go in there myself if I have to Elizabeth"
She looked at the general who had the most determined expression she ad ever seen on him, this was the jack O'Neill she knew and the one who keeps them all going.
"If things get dice and you need any thing ill be there in heart beat"
She smiled for the first time in week and nodded, some how with him saying that she felt safer already.
"Thanks jack we really appreciate it"
"Oh and if I can't be or service I have a surprise for you"
He opened a box and Elizabeth smiled.
"The asguard think is time I let the others know who we are"
--(SAM & T'EALC)--
Sam looked at the apartment with a smile, every thing was finally done, the furniture was finally were it was supposed to be the boxes were all in the trash bin and every thing was set up. Yeah this was her home all right, she smiled at tealc who vowed and smiled.
"So coffee?"
"I believe O'Neill would want us to get home early, it is a school day tomorrow"
Sam looked at the clock and nodded, it was late, but the time had seem to just flow by, she had told t'ealc of her life and in return he had told her of his own and of how things had change at the sga. Much to her surprise things hadn't really been all that different, the fight was still there only this time it was with a different kind of aliens, same old stuff only this time they seem to have not needed her skills. She wanted to feel proud that she had thought Hailey so well and that McKay was doing all right but all she could think of was of how they didn't need her anymore.
She was once the go to person, the one who solved the problem and came up with the ideas, but it seem that that role had died down, the generals is third download of the ancient is database along side McKay and Hailey brains well they were a formidable foe. She was once the super brain it seems that with her gone she had let other people shine. Or more precisely the government had paid more attention to the other brains at the base, she was the best but McKay and Hailey were no push over and with the general they had pretty much out classed her.
"Something wrong?"
"No I …I feel left out, I can't find my place any more tealc"
"I see"
"Hailey replace me no problem, McKay is doing a bang up job and jack…jack has the whole deam repository of the ancients on his brain"
"You are right you are not needed, so why did they offer you a position at the sga?"
Sam looked at him and frowned, why the hell was he telling her this, didn't he…she stopped dead on her tracks and looked at him straight in the eyes, something was wrong.
"Why would they need me back at the sga tealc?"
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, it was time to tell her why she was playing catch up with them, why she was recommissioned and given a second chance, Hammond was a good man but he also follow orders and these orders came from the president himself, opening his eyes he stared at her with an intensity that made her gasp.
"O'Neill and I will be going on a mission of great importance, yet the out come is not yet certain, that is why you are needed, in case something goes wrong all of you will be needed"
Sam gasped, that is why she was offered to return, that is why she was here, that is why when Hammond had called he had asked if she would be interested. At the time she never guessed why they had offered her a position back but now it all made sense, they wouldn't just come out of the blue and offered her a job again, but if the situation was to dire was desperate then they would give her another chance.
"What about the base tealc?"
"General Hammons is schedule to command while O'Neill and I are on our mission if we were to not return, general hank Landry would be appointed"
Sam just stared at him, she couldn't believe what she had been told, a few minutes ago the greatest worry on her mind was how to fit in back into there life and now here he was telling her that he and general O'Neill might be going on a suicide mission.
"What about his daughter?"
The jaffa looked at the room were the kids were playing and frowned, he remembered O'Neill is cursing and had even told the president off, yet he had seen the dire situation the Atlantis team was facing and the long run the war was having on the universe. His actions on that day proved to t'ealc that he had chosen to place his trust on the right man and that the man was indeed destined for great things.
"Daniel Jackson and Janet Fraiser are to take care of young April, all though we all hope that this mission will be a success"
Sam nodded, but her mind was a couple of million light years away, She just realized that the man whom she had always felt connected with could possibly die, she had hoped to have all the time in the world, he was a general and no longer went on field missions, but now it seem that fate was cheating her, she wanted time to explore what she felt to try and reconnect and she was being denied that luxury.
It wasn't fair to have to deal with all of this and yet not be able to do any thing about it; she knew that if she spoke up now every thing would just go downwards, she knew how jack operated. She knew that getting back on even friendly terms was going to be hard, jack O'Neill did not easily forget, oh sure he might treat her just as he always had but she could that that it was just how he dealt with things, and that despite his friendly behavior she still had a long ways to go before being called his friend again.
"You are concern?"
She nodded and looked at him, how could he think other wise, but then she remembered why and frowned.
"Despite the fact that I left you all behind…I never stopped worrying about you guys, I never stopped caring"
T'ealc raised and eye brow and pierced her with a stare that made her want to go hide and never come out.
"You still care for him"
It wasn't a question but a statement, she smiled and looked away, she couldn't admit to it yet she knew that he had already figured it out.
"I care for all of you t'ealc"
The jaffa looked troubled but nodded in acceptance, this situation was not easy on any of them, here he was with the woman that had betrayed him and his friend and yet, he was once again talking civil to her, he smiled and shock his head, the bond of friendship were strong and as O'Neill had once told him. Ties that bind are not easily un done.
"It is good to have you back Samantha"
She looked up in surprise, he had never used her name but now it seem only right, she smiled and gave him a Hugh.
"Thanks….thanks for giving me a chance"
She smiled and closer her eyes, a chance was all she needed, a chance was all it took after all she was Samantha freaking carter, the woman who blew up a sun.
Continued
Small note: To hell with betas, that's right I said it! If I am ever going to get this finished I am going to go at it solo! So if you want to complain about the spelling grammar and so on do it, be aware that I have done my best to find and contact betas and they have all disappeared on me so I WALK ALONE! I have other stories that are have yet to continue for the same exact reason and while I know that being a beta is hard work and that my spelling and grammar sucks and that it takes a while for them to finish yes it takes a while maybe a month or so but TWO FREAKING MONTHS?! The hell with that.
So if you continue to read this then do so and be aware that the fic will no longer be beta, that I will do it all on my own and that it will be finished because now I can post when I am done with a chapter and don't have to wait for the chapter or be let down time and time again. So enjoy or if not don't but this will be FINISHED I SWEAR!
ARCHANGEWOMAN