Dinner with the Dursleys

Dinner for the most part went along smoothly. Samantha sat across from Marge; Darrin was across from Dudley, who was sneaking toffees and watching the small television his parents bought for him. Vernon and Petunia were at either end of the table and Harry was on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. Vernon and Marge were polishing off the wine and brandy.

"It must be very interesting working in the advertising business, Darrin," Petunia said, making polite small talk.

"It certainly is, Petunia. I enjoy it quite a bit," Darrin replied.

"Darrin's really a fine artist. You should see some of the ads he's been drawing up for the Walker Toffee campaign," said Samantha, smiling proudly at her husband.

"And what do you do with your time, Samantha?" asked Petunia, feigning interest.

"Oh, I'm a full-time homemaker," said Samantha politely.

"That's surprising," said Marge, pausing to belch lightly into her hand. "Most of these young American women nowadays are all trying to go out and make careers." She leaned over and let her dog, Ripper drink from her wine glass. Petunia whimpered as the contents of the glass, mingled with dog drool, sloshed all over her clean floor.

"What did you do before you met Darrin, dear?" asked Marge.

"I used to do a lot of traveling."

"Humph!" Samantha turned to Vernon.

"Excuse me?"

"You're one of those liberal types. Off doing God knows what when you should be in the home. I hope Darrin got that stamped out of you."

Samantha stared incredulously at him for a moment, and then decided to ignore his rude comment.

"Why don't you all come and see us in the states some time, when the boys don't have school, of course?" she asked.

"Oh- I'm sure that'd be lovely. If we could make the time, Vernon gets so busy at work."

Darrin cleared his throat, "Beside do you really think it'd be appropriate with the constant visits from your mother?" he asked pointedly.

"Oh, Darrin she's not over that often." She waved him off. "Besides, I'd like to get to know my nephews better."

"Nephews?" asked Petunia.

"Why yes, one way or another we're all family. I'd like for us all to be close."

"I guess you're right," said Petunia. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments after that.

"Some family," Samantha looked up above Marge's head to see her mother floating there.

She looked around to make sure no one else saw. Then she waved at her, mouthing "Go away!"

"Are you alright, dear?" asked Marge, looking at her strangely.

"There was a fly," Samantha chuckled and went back to her plate.

Endora cackled, silently to mortal ears, before popping back out.

"Duddy, why don't you tell your aunt and uncle what you've been up to in school this year," said Petunia.

Dudley didn't answer right away. He was too busy shoveling pudding in his mouth to pay them any attention. Petunia smiled fondly.

"They grow up so fast."

"Yes, you almost- hate to see it," said Samantha, watching in slight disgust.

"You may need to slow him down, Samantha," Endora reappeared across the counter from an unknowing Harry. "You wouldn't want him accidentally swallowing his fork."

She was ignored, "What about you, Harry? Do you enjoy school?"

Harry looked up, surprised that he was being acknowledged. Before he could answer, though, Vernon spoke up again.

"You don't want to hear about his school."

"Yes, I believe I do," said Samantha with a placid smile.

"Mmm," said Marge, taking another gulp, "Where is it you send the boy again, Vernon?"

"St. Brutus', it's an institute for criminal adolescents."

"Criminal?!" said Endora, staring the boy down. "Why I'll bet there's not a criminal bone in his entire body!" She popped out and then back in just behind Vernon, probably to observe him better.

"I hope they're beating him regularly. You can't be soft with these delinquent types." Said Marge. Samantha looked over to see Harry clutching his fork, his face set in thinly veiled anger. "you should call and tell them that you don't mind a few extra whacks with the cane, to get the message across."

Alright they've both had enough, Samantha thought to herself. She wiggled her nose, and the alcohol in the larger two adults' glasses began draining away to nothing. Vernon looked at his in confusion when he tried to sip from it.

"Excuse me, but what has he done to be labeled a delinquent?" asked Darrin.

"Oh, I always used to get calls when he was in primary school," said Petunia. "He caused disturbances with the other children. He climbed on the roof once. The neighborhood children are terrified of him."

"And it's rubbing off on poor Dudley," she continued, "No one wants to come around him because his cousin is such a freak."

"Sure, it's all my fault," Harry's voice dripped with sarcasm, "It's got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he's a big bully!'

"You watch your mouth boy!" Marge yelled. "I'll not have you spreading lies about my nephew!" She patted Dudley on the back. He barely noticed as he was still eating his pudding.

Harry was glaring daggers at her, but he didn't say another word.

"He gets it from his parents. They were freaks too," said Vernon.

"I believe you. I see it all the time in my dogs if there's something wrong with its mother, then the pup won't be right either. I'd hate to have known his parents, as bad as he is."

"Shut up about my parents," said Harry. He was standing now. Petunia was trying to keep calm as the situation was becoming more and more tense.

"DON'T TALK TO YOUR AUNT IN THAT TONE!" Vernon bellowed, startling Endora slightly. She raised her arm for a spell in retaliation, but a look from Samantha made her stop, though she stuck out her tongue.

"With all due respect, it really isn't appropriate to speak ill of his parents in front of him," said Samantha, keeping her temper, though barely.

"How else is he going to learn how much better off he is here if he doesn't know what swine his parents were?" Marge set her glass down hard.

"You never even met my parents!" Harry yelled, his eyes watering in anger.

"I don't need to, boy! Your parents were low down good-for-nothings with no good excuse for living! Worst of all they didn't take you with them when they died in that car crash!" Harry was shaking in rage.

"Now that's uncalled for, Marge!" Darrin stood up, throwing down his napkin. Marge ignored him.

Vernon stood up too, the vein in his forehead throbbing. "It's time you went to bed. Get upstairs before I beat you within an inch of your life!"

Samantha wasn't expecting what happened next. The dinner table began shaking. Everyone looked at it in surprise.

"My stars!" said Samantha. Then the table flipped. The dishes and the pudding scattered across the floor.

Petunia shrieked as it smacked into Vernon, sending him to the floor.

"Vernon!" yelled Marge.

"Samantha!" yelled Darrin.

"Mother!" Samantha said out loud.

"It wasn't my doing," said Endora, watching amusedly as Vernon tried to crawl out from beneath the table.

Vernon threw the table off, cracking its legs. The bits of his face that weren't covered in pudding were a livid purple color. He growled, staring at Harry. The young boy suddenly looked frightened.

"You!" He lunged at Harry. The beefy fingers of his right hand went around Harry's throat, squeezing hard. He brought his left fist down across the boy's face.

"Get off!" Darrin yelled, trying to pull the great beast off of the boy. He got an elbow to his gut for his trouble.

"I've had enough of your freakishness!" Vernon spat out as Harry's eyes began to close from lack of air.

Suddenly, he felt some unseen force compelling him to let go. His hands shook with the effort to hold on, but it was in vain. Harry took the chance to crawl backward, away from the much larger man. Vernon was then lifted off of the floor, and thrown across the room, where his back slammed against the wall.

Samantha walked up to him, her arm still raised. "Don't you ever touch him again!"

**Author's Note**

Sorry this took so long. I wasn't sure how to get this chapter out. I also wasn't sure where to go with this story after but now I've got a pretty good idea. I hope everyone likes this. I'm also working on a cover image for this story.