THE HERE AND NOW
Chapter 39
"BEFORE THE MISSION"
Jack O'Neill is head was throbbing, after 2 hours with Sabath about warrior ethics was something jack had never expected to do. hell who knew there was ethic involved when you were being a warrior, these session were beginning to drain on both his physical body and mental capacities, there was so much that his body could take, despite being altered it was still a human body. Lia had noticed the exhaustion showing on the old general and smiled sadly, human lives were so fragile and weak and despite that they had achieved great things in there short life spans, this human was a prime example of humanity is potential. O'Neill and his people had fought a war with a superiorly advance race and had come out on top.
In his lifetime, he was achieving something that had not only affected his earth, but also it was changing the whole universe, he had fought a selfless battle and had given planets hope, he was a one in a lifetime human.
"Perhaps we should rest for the evening"
The Reetou turned to face the little nox and took a deep breath, they were all tired, but this needed to be done, the furlings were not the kind of creatures to take a mistakes likely, but just as he was about to object lia looked at him with a stern gaze and glanced at O'Neill. The arachnid looking alien turned towards jack and frowned, the general did seem to be on his last legs and he remembered that lia still had to explain the very fines of furling laws.
"Lia is right silver hair, we should rest and leave this for another time"
Jack closed his eyes and nodded, it was pretty late but there was still time to make it to dinner, he glanced at the two aliens and smiled an apologetic smiled, he knew that they were doing this to help him out.
"Guys…I"
"Go rest O'Neill, we will be here when the sun rises once more"
"Yes, go and rest, we will be here in the morning"
Jack nodded and walked out of the conference room, there was no way that he could go another round, it had been to much information and despite having been altered by both the ancient is knowledge and the asgard he still had trouble dealing with the information inside of his mind, specialy when new information was being brought it. Lia and Sabath had seen the exhaustion on the man is face and had seen right that he was all but human.
"Do you believe he can handle the conference?"
The little nox turned towards sabath and frowned, the spider like being had been growing more and more concern as the date of the meeting came closer, it was as if he had witnessed the failure of such meeting and was just awaiting its culmination to arrive.
"Do you not?"
The Reetou shock his head, no he didn't believe he could fail and yet jack was a human one who had fought the food fight, who had given every thing to the conflict and now he was paying the concequenses of those actions.
"I am concern"
Lia smiled and placed her hand on top of the spider is houlder, it seem that she was not the only one who felt like that, while it was true that she had absolute fate in jack is abilities to negotiate and bright back the nox, she doubted that he could make it out of it un harmed, jack had a nasty habit of getting into trouble.
"As am I, but we must hope for the best"
"The furlings, what are they like?"
The little nox frowned and closed her eyes.
"They are dificult"
After the long meeting jack O'Neill was finally getting a much-needed rest, he was at home enjoying a nice dinner with his young daughter and a couple of friends, friends who were his current family. To say that things were tense was a bit much, Daniel kept looking at Janet and Janet kept looking at t'ealc, every one was trying to figure out one thing. What was on jack O'Neill is mind, what was he thinking, was he going to bring out the "incident" as it was being referred too? Or was he going to bring up the mission? Tension was the thing was killing the mood but for one young lady she was having the time of her life.
April O'Neill had been told by her father that things were going to be a little rough, the reason being that he was playing a trick on all three of the ones who were present at the table, April didn't need to know what it was about but she was having fun watching her dad tease her uncles. Jack kept smiling at her and winking at her when ever he would tease one of her uncles and she only watched as they either shifted uncomfortably on there chair, or squirmed under her gaze.
"So lil lady how was school?"
Jack wanted to switched topics, he had had his fun and it was time to see how things were going with his little girl. She had been spending too much time with aron, Sam, having a new playmate kept her busy most of the time what with play dates and school, and helping her newest best pal with arranging her room, things were pretty hectic for the little shrimp.
"Good, I ah, got into a little bit of trouble"
Now every one is head turned towards the little girl and she smiled nervously, she knew what every one was thinking, but luckily, she had not gotten into trouble because she had done a good thing at least.
"Explain yourself young lady"
This was the stern tone of her mother figure, or aunt janet, the doctor was worried about the little girl taking on to much of O'Neill is personality, she had already gotten enough out of him Daniel and tealc, she didn't need O'Neill mixed in with her attitude. The girl was a little to much like her father, which meant trouble.
"A boy was picking up on aron so I punched him"
"Good for you!"
Jack smiled and Janet frowned, she knew how overly exited jack could get.
"JACK!"
Jack is smile left his face and he quickly changed his face from a happy one to a stern one, he knew when not to play with Janet and this was one of those times.
"I mean bad girl…right?"
Janet frowned and shakes her head, sometimes she wondered why she bothered with jack, after dinner had been done with and the dinner plates had been taken care off, the three adults headed in to the living room while April went to sleep. Once every thing had been taken care off, jack had sat down on the couch and fixed all of his so call family with an annoyed glance, it was one thing to be polite when in front of his little girl but now that she was out of the way he could finally deal with them. They had made a little plan to get him and Sam together; so that they could talk to one another, what the talk was about he had no idea, but had an inkling as to what it could be.
"So here we are"
Jack is tone was not pleasant at all, if any thing it could be called hostile and defensive, Janet looked at Daniel and smiled faintly, they knew what they could get themselves into if they did what they were planning on doing. However, they also knew that it was necessary, jack needed to get every thing straightened out before his little trip. As much as he hated to have this discussion it needed to be done, they needed to get trough there heads that this matter was close, that it had been closed a long time ago. Beside that they needed to know that his situation was about him and Sam not about them as a whole, this was jack is problem, not team, not friends no family matters, this was something he needed to deal with on his own.
"Are you annoyed O'Neill?"
Jack snorted and shakes his head, annoyed; no, he wasn't annoyed he was pissed off. He wanted to remain calm, but he couldn't, they were crossing a line. They had no right to interfere in his affairs, not when Sam was involved.
"You could say that, after finding you plotting behind my back it gets me a little upset you know"
"Come jack get off it, we were only trying to help"
Daniel wanted to defuse the situation before it got out of hand, he knew that jack was given them a very short leash to work with, that at any given moment the guy could explode and if that happened they could forget reasoning with the man.
"Help with that Daniel? I honestly don't know why you were doing all of this in secret, or why you didn't feel the need to tell me about it"
"Jack honestly now, can you really"
"No Janet really tell me, what on earth were you guys thinking?"
Janet frowned and looked at tealc and Daniel, it seem that the question had left them speechless, what could they say? Hey, we just wanted you to talk to Sam because we know you have a lot of pent up feelings towards her. It didn't work that way, not when Sam and jack were the ones involved.
"Your feelings towards Samantha"
"T, buddy, what ever feelings if any that I had for her are long gone, come on guys it been what? Five years? There is nothing wrong with me or Carter"
"Out of all of us you were the one closest to her, also you were the one who was hurt the most when she left"
Janet flinched and Daniel groaned, tealc had hit the nail on the head but that could be a bad thing, jack quickly shifted gears and glared at the ex jaffa, there was one thing for him to know what he had gone trough but he didn't like to be reminded of that fact, especially not by his friends. If there was one thing jack didn't like to do was to share his feelings with others, or them knowing his personal demons. Why? Well they could be used against them, just like in this situation. The jaffa how ever simply raised an eye brow and waited for a response, he knew jack well enough to know that the men is best defense was avoidance of the subject, the only way to really get him to open up was the put all the card on the table and go for the kill.
Jack was not the type of man talk about emotions. he simply bottled every thing up and that was the end of it, but now with his dirty laundry out in the open he knew had no other choice but to face it head on; and while Sam was a sore subject for him it was one that had to be dealt with. Well at least that is what there friends thought.
"Like I said, it is over and done with, what happened back then has nothing to do with now"
"Really? Jack come on, can you honestly say that"
"Say what Daniel? That I don't feel anything towards her any more?"
The tone of his voice made them all wince; it was one they had not heard in a long, long time, it was a cold and indifferent voice, one that he only used when dealing with a subject that he did not like, or when he tried to remained unattached from the subject. If things kept going the way that they were then they were going to lose this argument before it even began, jack had a habit of pushing buttons and pushing people away. If he wanted to then he could end this very quickly.
"Jack please, just"
"No Janet, I have had enough of this, the Sam and jack saga closed a long time ago, so please do as I did and move on, stop living on the what if"
"O'Neill stop running away from what we all know"
"I loved carter, I loved her more than….that is why I moved on, and you brining it up all over again, well hell why don't we re-open old wounds"
Janet gasped and her eyes widen, this wasn't about jack avoiding the subject, this was about him avoiding being hurt, when Sam had first left jack was the one who had taken her departure the hardest. Sam had been every thing to him, she had brought back emotions that he had long forgotten he had hell he had said that he would die for her and now that she thought about it.
"Y-you weren't lying were you"
Jack glared at her and turned to leave, this was getting him no were, they could not understand what it was like, how could they know what he was going trough? They couldn't, they had lost a dear friend while he had lost every thing. He had been a fool and had allowed his heart to be exposed to an emotions that knew were trouble, he had allowed himself to fall in love with Sam.
Daniel is eyes followed jack is retreating back as he left trough the front door and frowned, it was clear that Janet is words had unnerved jack, but there was something more behind them. He made a move to follow but was stopped by Janet and a very upset tealc.
"Let him go Daniel I believe we all need time to reconsider our actions"
"What the hell are you talking about tealc?"
Daniel had not been in that room, had not witnessed what the tealc and Janet had, when that damn machine revealed things that should have never been revealed. When jack had declared in not so many words how much he cared for Sam, how far he would go to protect her, to keep her safe. It had been the first time that they had seen jack open up like that, the first time they had seen him as an exposed human, one that was madly in love with a woman he could never have, one who, at the time did not share his feelings. Sam had been unsure at the time, it was obvious that she was confused and a bit afraid of what her answers would be, even if the colonel had been completely open with how he felt for her, she was not the colonel.
She had a past herself, Hanson had place a smudge and a curse on her and how she viewed military men, he had been an abusive husband who had been warped by years In the special forces and had both mentally and emotionally as well as physically abused her more than one occasion. That is why she felt the need to no longer fall for the first charming man that crossed her path. In the aftermath of that failed marriage, she had pushed men aside and devoted herself to her career. Now that she had found some one she liked she didn't know if she should take the risk, less he turned into another Hanson.
Yet the zatarc didn't lie when it showed how she felt towards O'Neill that is why she had passed the test, because while she might have not said any thing about liking the general or caring for him the zatarc had spoken volumes of how she felt towards him. After that things had been different between the two, jack always felt that Sam had just wanted to forget the incident that is why he had done the same, but things could only be hidden for so long before the truth showed it's ugly head.
"General O'Neill is quite aware of his emotions for carter, as are Janet and I"
Daniel looked at him and then turned towards his wife and saw her nod, she was confirming what tealc was saying but it was still a bit confusing to Daniel, how could they possibly know how jack and Sam felt for one another?
"The zatarc test that is how we knew that they weren't sleeper agents"
"So all this time…t-they knew…"
He had always believed that Sam and jack had feelings for one another, but had never expected to hear this, they actually knew of one another is feelings and had done nothing about it. He shakes his head and sat down on one the couch next to tealc and closed his eyes this was crazy. How could they keep on going as if nothing had happened, as if they didn't have those emotions for one another? Tealc seeing his friend is confusion placed a hand on his shoulder.
"There were instances in which they were tempted to act upon there feelings, but they never did it, because they knew that it was not the right time"
"It was never the right time tealc that is why Sam got tired"
Janet is voice sounded a bit bitter and angry, this wasn't supposed to happened, they were supposed to end up together get married to one another, but unfortunately, this was not some fairy tale story. This was a story that did not end in happily ever after, this was a story were the script was still going and they were adding to it, refusing to let there painful what if go.
"He was right"
Janet and tealc looked at Daniel with confusion.
"He was right, were just rubbing salt on old wounds"
The three friends stayed silent after that, neither of them noticed the little girl that was sitting on the stairs that lead to the second floor of the house. April had listened in on the conversation and one thing kept playing over and over in her head, one question that refused to die, why had aron is mom hurt her dad?
((((JACK))))
As for jack, he was currently driving, trying to clear his mind of every single little reminder that his so call friends had brought up, every thing they had said had brought a memory or a feeling, something that made him remember how it was like to care for carter. The whole discussion had been as a huge flash back of times that he had worked damned hard to forget and block, to just put behind him and move on, but as hard as he had tried to do away with them he found himself being reminded of every thing on this night. Ever since carter had returned he had been fighting to suppress all of those feelings, to not remember them, to not care for her and after every thing, he had failed miserably.
He remembered, he knew what it felt like to love carter, to have that hope that some how they still had a chance, that fate had not cheated them and that maybe some how some way they could still be together, but he knew better. If things were too happened differently than maybe, but things don't always work out like one wants them to, so he had crushed those hopes and those feelings and had turned them into hate. It was easy to hate to not care to just not give a damn that is why he had given in. She had screwed him not once but twice, she had made destroyed his heart when she had first left and now she was doing it again by coming back.
"Damn you carter"
He whispered and punched his steering wheel, there was no point in pretending any more, the flood gates were opened again and he couldn't do any thing to stop them, all those emotions he had denied he had hid were pouring out of him and the one thing he felt like was to go and shout at her. Every thing was her fault, they were doing just fine with out her and now that she had come back she had ruined every thing, she was selfish, coming back because things didn't work out with Pete.
"Who does she think she is?"
He screams inside of his car and tightens his grip on the steering wheel, every thing was good in his life, every thing, he had moved on from her, had put her behind him and then she just jumps right back and expect him to do what?
"You always do this to me carter"
Every time he had seen her with some one, else it had broken his heart but had known that it was not his place to say any thing, he was not with her, and he couldn't be with her.
"It was her choice"
The zatark had revealed what they both knew, it revealed the hidden emotions they shared for one another and yet.
"You, you left it in that damn room!"
Every thing had been her call, she had the control from the very beginning the ball had been in her court and she had done nothing, maybe it was his fault for doing nothing, but standing by and watching as she feel for different men one after another.
"How strong were your feelings?"
Every single man in carter is life began to fill his mind, every one that she had flirted with that she had shared a connection with; they all stared at him mocking him.
"Maybe I was a fool"
Maybe he had been like all those before him, all those men whom she liked, whom she seem to have feelings for, maybe he was just another one of those in a long line.
"Damn it!"
He cursed when he felt the tears falling down his face, how could he been so blind? How could he allow himself to think that she would be interested in him? Shaking his head, he wonders if his love for her was even real. He was not thinking clearly, perhaps, perhaps he was had confused infatuation with love.
"It still stands….I hate her"
((((((SAMANTHA))))))
She was in the lab working late, once more she was beginning to fall into her old habits, but this time she was worried, she needed to get home and tend to aron, he needed her there, this was not supposed to happened. She wasn't supposed to be killing herself like this, not any more and yet, it was all she could do, ever since tealc had talked to her she couldn't help but keep working. It was the only way her mind could be distracted, the only way she could stop think about the mission jack was going on, a mission that if her information was accurate was quite dangerous.
Walking to the elevator she stops dead in her tracks when she sees the small little nox smiling at her, she knew that jack was having some delegates over but she had never expected it to be one of her old friends, she small woman waved at her and got on the elevator before the doors closed.
"Lia! W-what are you doing here?"
"I am a representative of the nox; I am here to help jack with his meeting"
Jack, it always came back to him, the alien woman noticed the look on Sam is face and frowned, something was wrong with the blond woman, her attitude had changed ever since she mentioned jack and the mission. Placing a hand on Sam is shoulder she gave the woman a reassuring smile.
"Do not worry jack is a great man, he will do well in this mission"
Sam smiled, she wanted to agree, wanted to accept that this mission was going to go off with out a hitch, but they never had the best luck when it came to missions, and her gut was acting up again. Something was telling her that this mission was going to bring more trouble than it was worth.
"I don't know if you been told this lia, but sg-1 never had the best of missions"
Lia smiled and nodded, she knew all about the missions that jack and his sg-1 team had been on, Sam was right they had never had an easy mission; every single one of them had something that made it dangerous.
"I know this, but perhaps he will have better luck on his own?"
"Alone…w-what about tealc?"
Lia looked at her and frowned in confusion, as far as she knew this mission was only given to jack, if another individual was involved then the mission wouldn't be that easy.
"Unfortunately jack will have to face the furlings alone, the companion is not needed"
"W-what!?"
"I can understand your concern Samantha, we all share it but…this is a burden that only jack can bare"
Sam closed her eyes and shakes her head, this was not happening not again, every time she got close to feeling, to allowing herself to fall for jack something always stood in there way, she loved jack, she was sure she felt like, but now another mission stood between them. She smirked, what the hell was she thinking? How could she be back to being in love with jack? How could she even have those feelings?
"Are you all right Samantha?"
"I'm not sure…its just"
"Yes?"
The curious look the little nox gave her made her feel uneasy, this was a conversation that shouldn't be discussed, not when the person could reveal the contents of the conversation to jack, after all Lia knew jack better than she. Closing her eyes she realized the truth behind those words and frowned, she had lost so much time and so much all because of her mistake.
"It's nothing"
The doors of the elevator opened and Sam stepped outside, a quick wave goodbye was all she gave the nox before rushing away, lia smiled and turned towards the empty side of the elevator.
"Interesting human is she not?"
"Quite, I can see why she troubles jack so much"
How did these two know about Sam and jack? The base is the home away from home for most of the personal on base, when Sam and jack had began there little dance, those who were there from the beginning had picked up on what was going on since Sam is return and as for the new additions they were told a story. A story about a man and a woman, an officer and subordinate that had fallen in love, that had defined the odds and managed to live trough hell and almost touched haven, but that in the process they had lost each other, and one had lost his heart.
This story had been told and re told by various people, and by now had taken a life of its own, had become legendary, so every one knew who and what Sam and jack were, so while sg-1 had become legendary. Sam and jack had gain the status of a tragic love story, fairytale, so you can guess how these two aliens had found out a bout this story.
"It is amazing how human emotions work"
"We nox do not believe that emotions work, they are chaotic and radical, but once you have mastered them you would be amazed how wonderful they can become"
"I wish I could indulge but we do not share your feelings"
Lia smiled, no of course he wouldn't, his race didn't experience things, the way humans or humanoid aliens did, in every race it was different, they all experience and process feelings differently. The Reetou were no diferent, they proecessed feelings at a diferent levels, some feelings were none existent in there species.
"Not all of them no, but I suspect you understand what they are going trough"
The reetou nodded and lia smile, emotions were universal, even if he could not comprehend exactly what jack and sam meant, he knew what it meant to be them, and what they were going trough. Looking once more to the daparting woman she wondered if jack and sam were going to be all right.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Hey there peoples, sorry for taking so long to update, but I got fired from work and I been looking for a new job, but now I finally got one and I can get back to writing so every two weeks I will update the fic.
Archangewoman.