Here comes the new chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Feedback is always appreciated and motivating. Thanks for all the reviews, they protected me from writer's block (or almost) so far!
Richard brutally sat up on the bed and gasped for air. His lungs were burning but the coldness the poison gave to his body was fading as Kahlan's powers warmed his blood. Kahlan… she was sitting across his legs, her face stained with her tears. He held her gaze for a moment before resting his forehead on her shoulder. She instinctively wrapped her left arm around him for support while the other travelled from the back of his neck to his hair. She closed her eyes and kissed to top of his head as the effect of the Con'Dar subsided leaving her weak.
"I thought I had lost you." She whispered.
"You brought me back." He replied, letting one of his hand rest on her tight.
"How?" She asked.
"Your powers." He whispered.
They heard the door of the room open and close, Kahlan had almost forgotten that Cara rushed inside the room when she heard the released of her powers. The Mord'Sith had probably left them alone, but even if it wasn't the case, she didn't care. It was just her and Richard right now. She wondered if he could hear her heart pounding in her chest, the result of the fear of losing him and the excitement of being so close to him.
"Lay back." She gently instructed, pushing him slowly backwards.
"Stay… please." He asked, the hand that was on her tight moved to her waist, clutching her tightly. He was not ready to let her go yet. Feeling his distress, she tightened her hold on him until she felt him relax in her arms. She gently pushed him backwards a second time and he finally laid back. She noticed that her tears were diminishing the effects of the poison on his skin.
"My tears, it's healing you." She said, running her fingers over his chest where his skin had turned back into its normal color.
"It's love." He said with a smile. "Your powers, your tears, your touch…"
"There is no magic more powerful than love." She whispered.
He nodded and closed his eyes, the poison and its pain taking the best of him again.
She hated to see him like that and she was so scared of losing him again. But if her powers had saved him once, it would save him again and help him get better. She didn't really know how it worked, how she could fight the poison with her powers, but she thanked the Spirits that she could. His breathing was coming in gasps again and she knew what she had to do, she released her powers on him for the second time and collapsed on his chest, exhausted but glad she could save him.
"Thank you." He whispered, keeping his eyes closed.
She struggled to get off him, not wanting to hurt him. She was about to feint, she had no energy left in her body. She tried to move away from him but he held her close, his hands holding her waist. She finally settled her head in the crock of his neck and draped her hand over his heart, just to make sure it was still beating.
Richard felt her tremble in his arms. He reached for the blanket with one hand, not wanting to let go and pulled it over her, the movement caused him to hiss because of the pain.
"You… going to die?" She mumbled.
"I don't think so." He told her.
"Hmm." She said as sleep claimed her. "I love you." She whispered. She waited for a moment, fighting against sleep hoping that he would tell her that he loved her too but he said nothing. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the waves of tears threatening to fall and finally she let sleep take her.
*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*
The release of her powers was heard again. She didn't know how many times she did it. Everything she knew was that she was exhausted and that she wanted to see her daughter. She was still lying on Richard's chest, his skin was hotter now and had returned to its usual color. He hadn't awaked yet and she was glad he didn't. Her nose started bleeding again, forcing her to push herself away from him. Quickly grabbing a tissue, she pressed it against her nose to stop the blood from staining her white dress and everything around her. The multiples use of her powers had caused the bleeding but Zedd told her that she would be fine.
His body moved next to her, drawing her attention back on him as she settled her back against the headboard of the bed. He whispered her name a few time, he was having a nightmare again. His breathing quickened and he woke up screaming her name.
"It's okay, I'm right here." She told him softly.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he tried to catch his breath.
She nodded and he sat on the bed next to her, his back resting against the headboard as well.
"Your nightmare, what is it about?" She asked him.
"You…" He whispered, looking down. "No matter what, it always ends up the same way." Tears pooled in his eyes and he hung his head in shame.
"No matter the place, the time, I always run you through with the Sword of Truth." He told her.
"It's just a nightmare…" She told him, trying to reinsure him as she noticed his despair.
"It's not just a nightmare Kahlan, it's real… It feels real." He said, shaking his head.
"Do you think it's a prophecy?" She asked, trying to understand him.
"No, prophecies are supposed to help foresee the future… This nightmare is about what I did to you. How much I hurt you…" He replied with a long sigh before closing his eyes and resting his head against the headboard and continued: "I hurt you, I betrayed you and I've let you down. I wonder if I could have done things differently and maybe take you with me on my quest but something tells me that I would have lost you and our daughter to the Keeper for good."
There was a moment of silence while he thought about the day he left her, that day he knew he would regret his actions until the end of his life. He knew he would lose her, he knew she wouldn't forgive him for leaving her like that, without a goodbye but that was also the day he knew he would keep her safe. At the time he didn't know she was with child but thinking about it now just made him sure that he had done the right choice for her and their daughter.
"Even though I know I made the right choice, I wish I didn't have to leave." He said, keeping his eyes closed. "I wish we could go back to the way things were before I left. I keep hoping that everything is just a nightmare and I'm going to wake up in our bed, holding you in my arms."
"Me too…" She whispered.
There was another long moment of silence and Richard was the first to break it by saying: "I feel better now, you don't have to stay here anymore. You must miss Cassie."
"I do miss her, but Zedd instructed us not to get up without his authorization." Kahlan replied with a smile.
"I was asleep when he told you that, I could always pretend that I didn't know and come back with Cassie if you want to." He said. He missed her daughter as well and he wanted to spend time with her.
"I'm sure someone is going to check on us soon and we'll ask for our daughter." She told him. They both needed to rest and as much as Kahlan wanted to see her daughter, she knew it wouldn't be good to get out of bed, she felt weak and dizzy even if she didn't want to admit it.
"Maybe we should get more sleep then." Richard proposed, moving from sitting against the headboard to lie down on his back. He closed his eyes when his head hit the pillow. Kahlan imitated him but rolled on her side to face him.
She stared at him for a long time, watching his chest slowly rise and fall.
"What's wrong?" He asked, startling her.
"Nothing." She replied, rolling onto her back.
Richard chuckled and said: "Typical Kahlan Amnell."
"Maybe I should go." She told him. She tried to get off from the bed but he rolled on his side and grabbed her hand to stop her.
"Stay." He ordered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh. It's just that there was a time when you could tell me what was on your mind and not go all Mother Confessor on me."
She let out a small sigh and asked: "Would you stay? I mean, here in Aydindrill, with us."
"I… I don't know… I have to go to D'Hara and…" He said but she cut him off.
"It's alright… I understand… Forget I ever asked." She said with a smile. "You should get some rest." She added, smiling at him again.
"Would you want me to stay?" He asked her.
"I can't ask you to stay, you are the Lord Rahl and you belong in D'Hara." She replied. She was being selfish, she couldn't ask him to stay just because she needed him and their daughter to be with her in Aydindrill.
"You are not answering my question." He said softly. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked again.
"Maybe… I don't know…" She said biting her bottom lip.
"I could stay for Cassie." He proposed. "I'm not taking her away from you to D'Hara but if we are to stay here, we have to make it work."
Kahlan nodded and asked: "Does it mean that you're staying?"
"Yes…" He answered with a smile.
"I thought a lot about what you told me… how you want her to have a father who loves her without being told to… I know how much your father hurt you and I want you to know that I'll spend the rest of my life taking care of our daughter and making up for the months I wasn't here for her." He told her.
"Thank you." She said softly. "You don't know how much it means to me… to Cassie."
"Kahlan, your nose is bleeding." He told her.
"I'm sorry." She apologized before pressing her tissue on her nose again.
"I'm the one sorry for putting you through so much pain again." He told her.
"I couldn't let the father of my child die on me." She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Do you think we can make it work?" He asked. "I don't know how to be a father… We have our duties and we're not…"
"Together?" She asked.
He nodded and said: "I know you are angry at me and I don't blame you, but we can't argue and fight all the time. Last time I raised my voice at you and I scared Cassie. I don't want that to happen again."
"I know…" She whispered. She didn't understand, she had told him that she loved him and she knew that he still loved her and yet he was talking as if nothing happened. Maybe his love for her wasn't the same, maybe he finally became immune to her powers because of the numerous times she had released them on him. Maybe he just loved her as a friend and because she was the mother of his child, maybe he still loved her but he just didn't want to be with her, she was a confessor and monster after all… Besides, he was only staying for Cassie. Realization that there was no future for them as a couple hit her.
"You could attend to your duties in the morning and I, in the afternoon so we can both spend time with her on our free time." She proposed.
"We could do that." He replied, nodding his head slightly. Her plans didn't included seeing each other. One would be working while the other would be taking care of their daughter. It was not what his heart wanted but it was better than losing them both. Of course she had told him that she loved him but that was just because she thought it would make him feel better. Somehow he didn't want her to love him, he didn't deserve her. He wasn't worth of her love, she was the Mother Confessor and he was just a woods guide pretending to be Lord Rahl. She deserved better. She deserved someone who wouldn't her hurt the way he had, someone she could trust. Someone who wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. He wasn't this man anymore. He wouldn't even dare to ask her to be friends.
"My powers are back." She said as she reached for him to release her powers again.
He stopped her and said: "I'm fine now. Thank you for saving my life."
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yes. Now get some rest, you look exhausted." He replied with a smile. He didn't want her to bleed again, as much as he loved to feel her powers going through his body, claiming something that already belonged to her, he knew that it was draining her strengths. The fact that she didn't even tried to lie about her tiredness as she closed her eyes comforted him in his decision.
He watched her settling under the covers and she quickly fell asleep. Sadness filled his heart at the thought of how he screwed everything up between them. He was mad at himself… he should have fought harder and faster on his quest to defeat the Keeper. He should have asked Zedd to name a new Seeker to save the world. He should have stayed and protected the woman he loved.
Tears filled his eyes as he watched her, memories of the time they could be together filling his mind. He scooted close to her and kissed her forehead before whispering: "I love you Kahlan."