Hi! New chapter! Do you enjoy the drama? I hope so! Let me know what you think!

She awoke in his arms, her head resting on his strong bicep and his other arm wrapped around her waist. Her face was buried in his chest enjoying the sweet warmth emanating from him. She loved his smell, it always felt as comforting as his touch. She didn't want to move, she wanted to stay like this for ever. The only problem was that the Rada'Han around her neck was cutting through her skin. She moved slowly and tried to move the necklace so it wouldn't hurt so much.

"Hey." He whispered softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She apologized.

"You didn't." He replied, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently.

"Like a mess." She replied truthfully before correcting herself: "I'm okay."

"We can remove the Rada'Han if you feel up to it." He told her, reaching in his pocket for the key.

"It would be safer if I just kept it." She told him, stopping his hand.

"Alright." He replied softly, knowing better than to push her.

She rolled away from him onto her back and starred at the ceiling, reality hitting her. She was a monster, her baby was dead because of her and what she was, Richard wasn't hers anymore. Tears gathered in her eyes and she breathed deeply to keep it from falling.

Richard sighed and whispered: "Kahlan."

She shook her head softly and said: "Don't do that Richard."

"Do what?" He asked.

"Taking care of me, caring for me, loving me, whatever you're doing, just don't." She explained.

He chuckled causing her to turn her head to him and give him a cold glare.

"You're telling me that ever since we met." He explained himself.

"It's time for you to listen and let go." She insisted.

Lying on his back as well, he let out a long sigh and said: "I love you Kahlan. I know I've made mistakes in the past and I deserve your hatred towards me. But if I can't be a lover or a husband to you, at least let me be your friend."

He rolled on his side again and looked at her. She was fidgeting the sheets as tears rolled down her face and onto the pillow.

"You told me once that we had to bury our feelings and suffer in silence. I can do that Kahlan, if that's what you want, I'll do it." He told her.

"Good." Was all she could reply.

"Only on one condition." He added, surprising her. She looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"You let me be your friend like we were before, you talk to me and let me be there for you when you need it. No lies, no Confessor mask, no shutting me out." He said.

She nodded in agreement and Richard laid on his back once again. She reached for his hand, entwining their fingers and broke into tears. He caressed her hand with his thumb, fighting his own tears.

"I don't want my powers back." She started. He stood silent waiting for her to go on talking.

"They attacked us because they wanted to free those whose souls I took. Cassie is dead because they used a Quillon to take her powers away, powers she inherited from me. Being a Confessor, it's a curse." She explained.

"I've lost my way, became bitter and angry. I followed the rules and laws exclusively, I stopped caring for my people. I don't want my powers anymore." She continued before turning on her side to look at Richard.

"You left and it hurt so much. You can't imagine how hard it was to get up every morning… I put my Confessor mask on and stopped caring. I put on a brave face during the day and cried all night long. Then somehow along the way, I lost myself. It was easier not to care, so I shut it all… all the emotions, except for the anger. Slowly it replaced everything else I should have felt and the Con'Dar became out of control."

She wiped away her tears on the bridge of her nose and added: "Now that my baby is gone, I'm afraid of what I could do or what I could become. The pain is so strong, so deep, I don't think I can deal with it. Right now the only things keeping me together are you and this Rada'Han."

She watched him as he starred at the ceiling, she was wondering what was going through his mind. He was crying too and she wanted to crawl on top of him, burry her face in the crock of his neck and feel his strong arms holding her. Their hands were still locked together and it gave her a small piece of comfort. He looked so lost in his thoughts that she wondered if he heard what she told him.

"Richard?" She dared.

"I wish I could take your pain away. Everything is my fault and I don't know how to make it up to you, Spirits I don't even know if it's possible to make it up to you." He told her, looking at her at last.

She tried to touch his face with her free hand but hissed when pain shot through her body.

"What's wrong?" He quickly asked.

"Nothing." She lied before lying back on the bed.

"Kahlan…" He warned, almost leaning on top of her to look at her straight in the eyes.

She sighed and said: "There are some places that I didn't allow Zedd to heal."

"Where?" He asked with a concerned look on his face.

She gestured him with her hand a place under her arm, next to her breast.

"Let me see." He ordered gently, pushing the covers down to her waist.

"It's okay, it's going to heal." She told him.

He locked eyes with her and she added: "Friends aren't supposed to see each other naked."

He smiled and said: "I'm just going to pull your shirt on the side, I promise."

She nodded and closed her eyes, letting him slowly pull her shirt up on her left side, making sure not to expose her. He ran his hand from her hip to her waist and stopped at her ribcage just before the huge bruise that was next to her breast. Her lips parted at the feel of his hand on her skin, leaving shivers on its trail. His ministrations left her wanting for more, bringing her back to the time when his hands would move to her breasts without restraint. Suddenly, she felt his lips on her bruised skin along with his tears. He started to whisper apologies between his kisses over and over again. He pulled at her shirt to move it higher but she stopped his hand before he had time to expose her. He wanted to know where else she was hurt to kiss and apologize again but she wouldn't let him.

He took his time and slowly rearranged her shirt and pulled the covers on top of her.

"You can ask." She said softly, she knew something bothered him, she could see it in his eyes but she couldn't know until he told her.

"Ask you what?" He asked.

"Whatever is on your mind and you're not telling me." She told him, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. She knew him too well. If he asked for her to let him in, he had to do the same and talk to her, let her know what was in his mind.

"Did they… hmm…" He cleared her throat and tried to continue: "Hurt you… there… I mean… hmm. Did they…"

She silenced him by shaking her head no and said: "He wanted to… rape me… but he didn't. He wanted me to fight back, play some twisted game but I didn't. I fought back at first, because I wanted to escape and get Cassie and then when he told me that she was… I couldn't fight anymore."

She crossed her arms over her chest and said: "I wanted to die and somehow I didn't care what he was doing to me. But he didn't touch me Richard, I promise."

He nodded slowly and asked: "Would it be alright if I held you in my arms for a while?"

She nodded and they both laid on their side face to face in the position that they awoke.

"Are you comfortable?" He inquired gently.

She nodded and pressed her body closed to his.

"We have to go back there, to the Mord'Sith temple. He said that he buried our baby there. We have to find her and bring her back home so she can rest in peace next to my mother." She said breathlessly.

"Alright, once you'll be able to walk, we will go back." Richard accepted.

"It should have been me. I should be dead right now. And our baby should be alive." She said as tears wetted her face again.

Richard tightened his hold on her, not knowing what to say to her. He didn't think something could ease the pain of a mother who lost her child.

"And she's alone there… She died alone, she must have been so scared." She added before breaking into sobs.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect her. You should blame me. You should have left me to die there." She mumbled.

"It's not you that I'm blaming Kahlan, it's myself. I'm the one who let you alone again. I don't blame you. I have no doubts that you fought bravely to keep her safe." He told her softly.

"Have you found Cara?" She suddenly inquired. The Mord'Sith had fought bravely too.

"No." Richard simply answered.

"I think I heard her scream there, but I'm not sure…" She said sadly. If Richard didn't find her, it probably meant that she was dead too. Not only she had lost her daughter, but she had lost a friend and a fine warrior as well. She let out a long sigh of despair and shifted uncomfortably in his embrace.

"I wish we could have been a family, even if only for a few hours." She said.

"Me too." He replied truthfully.

"Many times I had that dream where Cassie came running into our room to wake us in the morning. That she would jump on the bed before finally laying between us." She explained.

"I would have loved that." He told her as tears wetted his eyes one again.

"She is… was… smart you know. Smart and beautiful." She said.

"Just like her mother." Richard told her with a small smile.

"How am I supposed to go on now that she's gone?" She asked him.

"You don't have to, not yet. And then I'll be here to help you every step of the way." He explained gently.

"Come on, try to get some sleep my l-… Kahlan." He instructed her. He knew he could never be friend with her, he was madly in love with her but if being just friends was enough for her, then he would bury his feelings and be her friend, because even if it would be hard not to be able to love her like he meant, it would be better than living without her.