My apologies for the delay... I hope you'll still like it. Keep the reviews coming! Thanks very much for reading!
Much to her delight, Kahlan awoke to the sound of her daughter's laugher. It made her smile widely and she rolled on her side to see what was causing her daughter to laugh so loudly. Richard was throwing her in the air and catching her before covering her face with kisses. She watched them, enjoying the beauty of what was happening before her eyes, she never thought it was possible for Richard and Cassie to be reunited, for her to have a daughter with the man she loved and who loved her back without being confessed. Of course, her life was not quite what she was dreaming for but she was ready to settle with what she had now. Even if she and Richard couldn't be together, she was willing to give him up if it meant that he would be a father to her daughter. She kept staring at them for a moment before Richard realized that she was awake.
"Oh… I think we woke Mommy." He said giving his Confessor a smile.
"Gain!" The little girl squealed, raising her hands in the air.
"Alright… ready? One… Two… Three!" He said before throwing Cassie just above his head and catching her. The little girl burst out laughing and it made Kahlan smile grew wider, if that was even possible.
He walked to the bed and sat next to her with Cassie on his lap and said: "I'm sorry we were so loud."
"I don't know what could be better than to wake up and hear her laugh." She replied with a smile.
"How do you feel?" He asked as his daughter got off his lap to the floor.
"Good." Still smiling, she replied with a small nod.
"Ready to go home?" He asked.
"Not really." She told him before chuckling at the sight of her daughter executing some weird dance moves.
Richard smiled and shook his head, it was amazing to see his daughter like this after thinking she was dead. She didn't seem to be traumatized because of what happened to her. He was glad she was so full of life and so innocent.
"Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" He asked, looking back at Kahlan.
"No." She replied, shaking her head slightly before adding: "I just don't want to go home, even if I know that I have to. I'm good here, just being myself and not the evil Mother Confessor that everyone hates."
"You are not evil Kahlan…" He said with a long sigh.
"Once you'll be home, we'll work together and people will see how good and loving you are. Everything is going to be okay." He reassured her.
"I know you have to leave and stop the riots." She told him.
He let out a small sigh and said: "We'll talk about it when the time comes, alright?"
She nodded and her gaze went back to her daughter who had her shirt up and was looking down at her belly button, trying to exanimate it closely.
"Mama?" She asked with a worried expression.
"What's wrong? Is she hungry?" Richard asked.
"No, she can't feel her powers, she feels like something's missing but she doesn't understand what it is, she's too young."
She got up from the bed and picked up her daughter in her arms and told her: "It's alright baby. Everything is fine."
"I'll get Zedd and he'll be able to give her her powers back." Richard stated before getting up to walk to the door.
"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Kahlan asked, stopping him in his tracks.
He looked at her for a moment before she continued: "I mean… Her life wouldn't be in danger if she wasn't a Confessor."
"And what? You'll give her up to adoption?" He asked bitterly, remembering their previous conversation.
"No! Of course not! But maybe if she wasn't a Confessor her life would be better, people wouldn't go after her to try to kill her or take her powers." Kahlan explained. His remark pained her. She wanted what was best for her daughter. How could he not understand? His own mother had given him up for adoption to save his life and she was willing to do the same if it meant that it would spare Cassie a life of violence.
"You forget one thing Kahlan… She's my daughter too and she has Rahl's blood in her veins, people will come after her whether she has her Confessor powers or not." He told her.
"But your mother, she saved your life. Zedd took you away and saved your life." She said.
"Don't even think about it. I won't allow you to do that to her." He said, raising his voice a little.
She looked down and sighed: "I know I'm not being rational. I… I just want her to be safe and happy."
She gave her daughter a quick kiss before setting her on the floor where she looked at her belly button again.
"She needs her powers, she needs to be able to defend herself. Your powers Kahlan, they are a strength, not a curse." He said looking down at his daughter with a proud smile.
"And now she's the only hope for the line of Confessors." Kahlan said sadly.
"Kahlan…" Richard said, anguish filling him at the thought that she couldn't be with child anymore. It broke his heart every time he was thinking about it. He knew she wanted to have many daughters, a big happy family to make up for her horrible childhood.
"It's alright Richard. I made peace with the fact that I won't have more children." She said, trying her best to smile at him even though the tears in her eyes were betraying her. Before Richard came back, she was almost glad that she couldn't be with child. She knew she wouldn't have to lie with anyone, it was useless. Gone was the terrible nightmare to have to mate with a man she didn't love, to betray Richard. But now that he was back, it changed everything because she was still dreaming of a life with him. It made her heart break more than she would admit, knowing that she wouldn't be able to give him a family. Denying him a son was a tragedy they could probably overcome but she couldn't ask him to give up his dream of having more than one child just because she wanted to be with him.
"Why didn't you say anything to the Council? Why did you pretend to be with child?" He asked.
"Shame I guess… I don't know in the history of Confessors one who couldn't get with child. I feel like I failed… like I'm useless as a Confessor and as a woman." She explained at the verge of tears.
"I'm sorry." He simply said.
"You don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault Richard. Even if you had been there when I gave birth, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it." She told him with a small smile.
He crushed his lips on hers, it was unexpected, sudden and she loved it, she knew that she shouldn't enjoy it so much, but she did. He pressed his body against hers and cupped her face with his hands. She lost herself in the kiss, her head was spinning and her body shivering. Their tongues touched and she felt waves of pleasure running up and down her body. His kiss was slow and sensual but she knew it had to end. She gave herself a last moment to enjoy the feel of his lips on hers and she pressed a hand against his chest, pulling away from him.
They stood close to each other, their foreheads touching, their breaths shortened by the emotion and the lack of air.
She closed her eyes and whispered: "Friends…"
"Are not supposed to kiss each other." He finished the sentence that she had started.
She nodded and he pressed his lips to her forehead and said: "I don't want to let you go just yet."
She nodded again and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his embrace.
Kahlan smiled when she felt Cassie hugging her left leg.
"Come here." She said before picking up her daughter who joined her parent's hug and squealed happily.
"It feels good being like this, the three of us." Richard said.
"It does." She almost whispered.
"Can I ask you a question?" He broke the silence after a while.
"Sure. Anything." She replied, pulling back a little to look at him in the eyes.
"Tim is still confessed to you, isn't he?" He asked.
"Yes… He is… Why?" She asked him back.
"You died the day you gave birth to Cassie, he shouldn't be confessed anymore." Richard asked, furrowing his brows.
Kahlan looked down and walked away from him, sitting at the edge of the bed and still holding her daughter in her arms.
"I confessed him again." She simply said.
"Obviously… But why?" He insisted.
"Do you think I laid with him?" She asked in shock.
Richard smiled and shook his head no. He went to sit next to her and held her free hand in his.
"You know it's not what I meant Kahlan." He told her softly.
"When he realized that Cassie wasn't his, he got mad and I had to confess him again." She blurted out.
"Did he hurt you?" Richard asked, fury taking the best of him.
"No." She replied quickly. "He didn't, I didn't give him the chance to."
"I hate him." Richard mumbled.
"He's confessed now, he won't cause more troubles." She stated softly, trying to reassure him.
Richard nodded softly and she let out a long sigh.
"What is it?" He asked, his voice full of concern.
"I was just thinking about the night when he tried to kill you and I released my powers on the both of you." She explained.
"And how you tried to kill yourself to free me from confession when I was not confessed?" He asked with a smile.
"How can you smile thinking about it?" She asked.
"Well, even though it was a very hard moment to endure at the time, when I think about it, I remember that it's what led us to be together and be able to create our daughter. As much as it hurt back then, it turned out to allow me to live the happiest moments of my life." He explained as melancholia filled his eyes.
"What about now, are you happy now?" She asked.
"I am." He replied avoiding her look.
When she stood silent, he looked back at her and saw that she was crying silently.
"I'm sorry." He told her, knowing that she had caught on his lie.
She didn't know what hurt the most, that he lied to her or that he was unhappy.
"You don't have to apologize." She said while drying her tears.
He sighed and said: "I am happy Kahlan. I'm not as happy as I was before I left you but I am. I have a beautiful and smart daughter and I have you, Zedd and Cara."
"But it's not enough." She said, staring blankly at the floor.
"No…" He started before adding: "Sometimes I wish I wouldn't love you so much so it wouldn't hurt so much."
She nodded in understanding and asked: "Is it really what you want? To love me less?"
"No… I don't know… Maybe… Kahlan, what I want is to love you and be with you, I want us to be a real family." He explained.
He didn't know what he was saying, he didn't realize what he would have to give up to be with her. It's not the life that they talked about, it's not the life that he wanted and it was certainly not the life she wanted for him. She knew he could have a chance to be happy again, to fall in love with someone who would give him a son, an heir for the throne of D'Hara. Someone who would be able to give Cassie siblings to play with. She loved him so much that she was willing to let him go and be free and happy. Now she knew what she had to do and she was determined to do what she knew was best for him. He deserved to be happy, she couldn't be selfish and lock him in a live he would end up despising. She wouldn't be able to bare the look in his eyes when he realized that she had ruined his life. He wouldn't be confessed but in the end, it would all be the same, he would live a life that he didn't want without even being aware of it.
She suddenly got up and said : "Forget I ever asked anything. Let's get Zedd and give Cassie her powers back."
He nodded and got up as well, following her outside the room to look for the Wizard of the First Order.