Carpe Diem

I do not own any rights to the infamous Twilight series.

EPOV

Approaching Bella's home, my anxiety grew. Although I wanted to confirm she was safe, I was hesitant to go rushing in not knowing what was occurring. It could be anything, and if Bella was bleeding I had to have full control of my faculties. No – what was I thinking, if Bella were bleeding Jasper wouldn't…wait; Alice did say she was proud of Jasper. Oh Bella, what has happened now? What could Alice have meant when she said it wouldn't bode well for me? I pushed myself further; finally I was at her house.

Nothing was out of the ordinary; in fact it was a very peaceful afternoon on her street. Stopping to listen to the sounds within the house and for Jasper's thoughts, I heard Jasper first. 'That was intense; Bella's emotions have been a roller coaster ride since I arrived here this morning. They really should have sent Emmett.' Walking around to the front of the house, I quickly located him walking towards his car.

"Jasper" I called to him in normal volume knowing he would hear me. Turning around at the sound of my voice, he backed up a step or two in shock. 'Edward, calm down. I've had enough with emotions being out of control for one day. Bella is fine, I promise.' I stepped up to him and that's when I noticed his face. He was drained; he needed to hunt.

"What happened?" I demanded. As much as I wanted to control my emotions for his sake, the look on his face concerned me.

'Edward, you really need to calm down. If not for your sake, do it for mine…please.' He sighed as he walked towards his car. 'I need a break, calm down and I'll fill you in. You cannot get into my car though unless you get control of yourself.' He glared at me from over his car.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to reign in my emotions. It couldn't be that bad, he wouldn't have been as calm as he was. All right she was fine. Now I just needed the details, which I wouldn't get unless I calmed down. Alice would pay for keeping whatever transpired from me. I walked slowly to his car as I took deep breaths. "Better?" I asked him sarcastically.

Rolling his eyes he responded, 'It'll have to do. You and I both know you aren't going anywhere unless I tell you what happened so climb in.' he said as he climbed in himself.

Once inside the confines of his car he began by warning me that if I destroyed his car in any way, he would avenge my actions by attacking my Volvo. Nodding my head impatiently in consent, I urged him to just get on with it.

'Well, she was a basket case this morning as Alice warned us. I recommend you get into the house soon and retrieve your jacket, which was the cause of her frame of mind this morning. She's bound to ask her boyfriend about that, and probably very soon.' He turned to look at me with a look of smug warning.

"What do you mean boyfriend?" I asked confused with a tinge of anger building.

'I was going to get to that, give me a chance. This isn't easy after the day I had,' he said sighing deeply and putting his head back on the headrest. Closing his eyes he continued, 'she was getting herself together pretty well and even managed to find the iPod. By the way, she really enjoyed the playlist you created it did wonders to calm her down. However, I highly recommend that you stop leaving hints…it's one thing to provide subtle reminders. It's a whole different situation to gaslight the poor girl, she can't take much more Edward.' He reprimanded as he opened his eyes and glanced at me from the side.

Hanging my head in disgrace I accepted his advice, "You're right, perhaps it was a little too much. I didn't think it would cause a problem. The idea was to remind her of our relationship, after all a year has passed; my intentions were to be reminiscent of the good times as opposed to the way I left her. From everything I heard and witnessed she was so distraught caught up in my leaving…" I said quietly.

'The key words being you didn't think' he closed his eyes again and sighed. 'Look Edward, I know Bella's the first girl you've been interested in, but you need to learn from previous mistakes you've made with her. Start conducting yourself like the man you are, stop pulling stunts like Emmett would.'

Glaring out the windshield I knew he was right, I wasn't handling this well at all. This whole charade was spiraling out of control, what was I thinking. I really needed to seriously evaluate my actions and listen to my heart…growling at that thought…my heart, my soul. I didn't have either without Bella; only Bella being in my arms could help me to hear what was best for us. The reason I was acting irrationally was because she wasn't in my life, I had no heart or soul without her…monster or not!

'Edward, please…' Jasper's thoughts came to me tiredly. 'I'm serious when I tell you I'm wiped out. This afternoon was hell.'

"Sorry." I sighed, "Tell me what happened, I'll keep my emotions to a low roar."

'She was content when she was listening to the playlist; it actually felt like she was happy. Then her boyfriend came home, her emotions ratcheted up to slight anxiety. His emotions were much more intense though, he was angry, sad, determined – the lightening speed with which he experienced them made me dizzy. He decided he had to show Bella what she would be missing if she remained faithful to you.' He looked over at me as he felt my anger beginning to rise. The warning glance he cautioned me with was more than enough to get me to breath and relax some.

'I'm going to shorten this recap, I know that being in this car with you when you find out will just make my day that much worse. Basically he challenged Bella…he asked her for one final kiss. He's going away for the weekend and wanted to leave her with something to think about while he's away. If upon his return she can state unequivocally that she still doesn't feel anything for him, he'll step aside graciously.' He looked at me now with his eyebrows raised, waiting for my reaction.

Puzzling over this, I wasn't sure that his abbreviated version was helping me to understand. That's when he decided to visually playback what he saw…my fists clenched, my stomach tightened and a growl started escaping me like a roar as this afternoon's scene played out in Jasper's thoughts. Who did this boy think he was…how dare he…the thought of his fingers touching my Bella. My hands wrapped around the seat as I tried to gain control.

"Easy Edward, remember what I said about my car." Jasper warned.

Turning on him I shouted, "Why on earth did you let it get that far. You control emotions…why wouldn't you control theirs – if not his, Bella's at least."

"The same reason I don't control yours Edward. Certain situations deserve control, but this had to play out. Wouldn't you prefer knowing Bella comes to you with free will and not because I manipulated her emotions one afternoon?" he asked me sincerely.

Any influence Jasper could have done to get me under control at that moment wouldn't have achieved what his words just did. The cold hard truth was like a bucket of icy water. I looked down at my lap in humiliation…what was happening to me. Closing my eyes and putting my head back on the headrest, I apologized.

We sat in silence for a moment before he interrupted my thoughts again. 'This isn't over Edward. She still loves you; the thing you have to remember is the strength of yours and Bella's bond. He doesn't stand a chance the poor guy… he did give it a good shot today though.' He chuckled.

Growling I looked at him, "That's not funny Jasper. How did you stop him?" I asked brusquely.

"I was desperate, I called Alice. She was frantic and told me to handle it. So I did the only thing I could think of…I overturned their entertainment center in the common room." He shrugged.

Laughing I asked, "Are you serious?"

Rolling his eyes he said, "Yes, it was the only thing I could think of…other than jumping out of the bushes and yelling surprise! When I went to call Alice I was panicked so instead of going back around the side of the house, I went in through the house. That's when I got the idea. It worked; of course they're both wondering how it happened. But at least it stopped the whole scene from getting any further out of control."

He put his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. He really did look drained; this wasn't fair to him. He was only trying to help and he was going through hell in the process. I needed time to think…about everything. My actions were reprehensible everyone was paying the price for my stupidity for too long now.

"Jasper, what should I do?" I whispered in shame. Running my fingers through my hair in frustration, I didn't have a clue what to do now. I couldn't loose her again, I wanted this to end…I needed her in my arms.

'Look into your heart. Acknowledge first that you have one and do what it tells you to do. Stop planning everything and act. Love isn't something that can be planned according to your wishes Edward. Go to her and tell her how much you love her and beg for her forgiveness. She doesn't need a special moment Edward, she needs you.' He looked at me sincerely expressing with his eyes what I should have known all along; Bella only needed me to be happy.

"Thank you. You're right, but first take me home; I need to think she can't see me like this. Do me a favor though keep Alice away from me! If she comes near me I'm afraid I'll get wrapped up in all the scheming again. I just need some time to collect my thoughts; I want to express the right sentiments when I see Bella for the first time.

'Sure, no problem,' he said as he turned the key in the ignition smiling for the first time since I saw him.

We drove home in silence, me lost in my thoughts and him relaxing and enjoying the calm feelings in the car. After this afternoon, neither of us wanted anyone else's thoughts or emotions twisting us into further turmoil. As soon as he pulled in front of the garage, I was out of the car and running before the door of the car connected with the jamb.

This needed to end; it had gone on too long. The year apart from Bella was torture enough, this was just prolonging the misery and everyone was paying the price. But what would I say to her? How would she react to my suddenly appearing in her life? What if she didn't want anything to do with me? Stop it…this wasn't good, I was jumping to conclusions again and this is precisely how it all went so wrong. I knew today what I didn't know several weeks ago, Bella loved me. There was no questioning that she was loyal and true, so how would I make her understand that I was back for good…that my existence wasn't worth anything without her. Sitting down on a rock, I thought back on every mistake I made since discovering that she and I were in the same state. I would have been with her by now if only I hadn't acted so irrationally.

Bella was the most forgiving person I had ever encountered; she never held a grudge. Even with people who didn't have her best intentions in mind. She always placed blame on herself and once again, she would find a way to blame herself for my behavior recently. There had to be a way to put all of this back into perspective – to make her see my intentions were heartfelt.

'Edward, please excuse my interruption.' I heard Carlisle before he came into view. He stopped short waiting for my acceptance; I nodded.

'Jasper came and explained what happened. It appears you have a great deal of thinking to do. I'm sorry son,' he looked at me and of course I knew he really meant it. Putting my head in my hands between my knees I groaned from shame.

"I've twisted everything around Carlisle. One mistake after another, and I'm still no closer to getting Bella back than I was weeks ago." I complained unabashedly.

Putting his hand on my shoulder he said, "That's why I'm here disturbing you. As your father, I determined it was time to step in and offer you my advice. Most times I allow you to make your own decisions and work out your own problems, but knowing what happened this afternoon I felt it was time to discuss this with you."

"Do you remember the evening of Bella's birthday?" he asked.

I growled, "Of course, how could I forget that night. That was the beginning of the end, it's etched in my memory for eternity."

"Well, my memories of that evening are a little different from yours, so let me tell you what I walked away with that evening. Yours and Bella's hearts weren't the only ones broken that evening Edward," he said sternly.

I looked up into his eyes, he was studying my face with compassion and authority daring me to disagree or dismiss his statement. Lowering my eyes I gestured with my hand for him to continue.

"While I was stitching up Bella's arm, she questioned my decision to be a doctor and a vampire. She was honestly curious to understand what drove me to overcome my thirst and give back to the communities in which I lived. My understanding of the time that you and Bella had been together was she was very brave and loved you with as much intensity as any of your siblings did for their mates. What struck me that evening was how much she loved your entire family Edward, not just you. Anything that had any bearing on your life was important to Bella. You know some of what I told Bella that evening, but what you do not know is her attentiveness and curiosity. She honestly wanted to know my story and how you came to become my son, she wanted to understand what it was that was preventing you from changing her." He paused to look at me once again before continuing.

"Had you brought home another human girl, a girl with only concerns for your beauty and strength I would have insisted you end it. Although everyone in the family would have been happy to see you with anyone, I knew that it would take a special person to keep you interested. Even during the year she wasn't in your life, I allowed you to wallow in your self-pity hoping you would discover what we all knew. Bella is as much a part of you as any appendage you have. You cannot live without her Edward, and she cannot be in this world without you. It's time to confront the difficult choice you made a year ago. Correct this now. Stop delaying the inevitable and start enjoying your future with the woman who belongs by your side." He stood then and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's time Edward, go to her now, don't practice a script – you couldn't come up with anything even if you spent all night doing it. Bella will always surprise you, so go to her and speak your heart." He studied my face in an effort to make sure I understood.

I acquiesced standing to walk alongside him, back the way we came. It was time to expose myself to Bella. There was not another moment we would be separated because of my ignorance.

When we returned to our property, Esme came from inside the house to stand beside Carlisle as I got inside my car. 'I would wish you luck Edward, but you won't need it. All you need is to remain true to your feelings for Bella and remember she's a very smart young lady that will guide you through this,' she smiled knowingly.

As I was driving away I heard Alice, 'It will be beautiful Edward, of this I'm certain.' My confidence soared as I drove closer to the one being in my lonely existence worth anything.

Parking the car several blocks from Bella's home was necessary for two reasons, everyone in the neighborhood had returned from their day's activities and I needed the additional time to calm my nerves.

As I approached her house, I zoned in on the tenants inside. Two things registered at once, first Roxanne's voice came out loudly in my head, "Where's Bella?" her voice was panicked unlike the confident tone she normally had. The second thing that happened, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I paused for a moment before retrieving it, Alice was screaming on the other end. "Edward, he has her. That boy, the boy who believes she's his girlfriend has her!" Without thinking I rushed inside Bella's house, I needed to find Roxanne.

She was in the hallway; she turned confused as my appearance registered in her mind. "Edward, we need to find Bella, she's gone and I found this note," she said rapidly holding out a slip of paper. Reading it quickly I realized it was written in handwriting I didn't recognize.

I'm leaving! I've decided to return home, my life here wasn't what I wanted. Bella

Grabbing Roxanne by the shoulders tightly I said, "Roxanne, this isn't Bella's handwriting. Where is that boy who was causing her trouble?"

She looked at me confused, "What…who…how…you mean Derrick?" 'How could he know about him? Oh it doesn't matter, we just need to find her before she returns home.'

"Yes him, where is he? Is he in the house?" I was shaking her now; I needed her to focus.

"Stop it, you're rattling my brains. I don't know where he is. Do you think he has something to do with this?" she asked as she tried to unsuccessfully release my hold on her.

I let go of her shoulders and pulled out my cell phone dialing Alice. In the time it took me to get Alice, other members of the household had collected in the hallway. Drake came up to Roxanne in a protective stance, "Who the hell are you?" he demanded glaring at me.

Turning my back to him, I waited for Alice to answer. She picked up in an agitated state, "Edward you need to find a park close to the house. Jasper and I are on our way, but we won't get there in time, you need to hurry." Her words were coming out so fast; it took my enhanced hearing to make out what she was saying.

Hanging up, I turned back around and questioned Roxanne, "Where's the nearest park?"

Drake stood in front of her, "I asked you a question, who the hell are you?"

Roxanne pushed him aside, "It's down the street Edward, why? Drake would you please move out of the way" she said frustrated. He looked at her in shock, hurt by her words. "I'm sorry Drake, but Bella's missing and Edward here seems to think that Derrick has something to do with it." She looked back at me again. "What's going on, tell me now."

Looking at her and using my powers of persuasion I said, "Roxanne, I don't have time to explain. Please understand, Bella is in grave danger…tell me where the park is."

"How would you know that by reading that note?" she asked perplexed. Drake spoke up, "Maybe he's a part of it Roxanne."

"Drake, please! Edward is not a part of this; he loves Bella. He's the reason she's been so miserable, I don't have time to explain. I believe him when he says Bella is in danger. Now, I need to know what you know so I can help?" she asked turning back to me as her eyes pleaded for answers.

"I don't know anything, I'm going on instinct here. Tell me where the park is now!" I growled fiercely.

She halted and for a brief moment I saw the fear claim her features. "It's right down the street, turn right at the stop street and keep walking…you can't miss it." The fear left her now and she continued, "I'm coming with you." She said as she headed towards the door.

Grabbing and pushing her back safely into Drake's arms I said, "NO, wait here. Trust me on this Roxanne. I'll handle it, I promise Bella will be safe." I rushed out the door and was running towards the park before she could take another step.

My fury intensified as I ran, this boy wouldn't get in my way. He didn't know what he was dealing with, my phone was vibrating again…damn I didn't have time for Alice right now; I knew I had to take the call, she may have additional news. Pulling the phone from my pocket quickly while I ran I answered, "Yes Alice."

"Edward, she's terrified. You need to get to her, do you know where she is?" Alice's voice was alarmed; I didn't want to know what she was seeing.

"Alice, the park is down the street from her house, I'm on my way now. Have you been able to identify anything from your vision that will help me find them?" I tried to keep the panic from my voice; I needed her to remain calm.

"She's running on a trail and then runs towards some trees, but she trips Edward. It's my vision from a couple of weeks ago Edward..." She was sobbing now, I heard Jasper quietly trying to calm her.

"Alice, this vision will NOT become a reality I swear to you with everything. I have to hang up and find her." I said hanging up the phone and running at a faster pace.

As I looked ahead I saw the entrance to the park. My eyes scanned the park quickly looking for anything that resembled a path near a tree line. Upon initial entry into the park there was a center island with a flagpole. The paved walking path went in separate directions around the center island and headed further into the park. I stopped; sniffing the wind and listening for any sound that would betray the direction he had taken my angel.

The strongest scent came from my left, I began running quickly letting the scent guide me. My pace quickened as the scent became stronger – my love's aroma combined with another familiar scent in addition to an unfamiliar smell. My anger and fear were beginning to mount as I ran faster; Alice's vision would not come true. I'd wasted too many weeks with the silly notion I needed to make my reappearance in her life a monumental moment. Had I just gone to her weeks ago, she wouldn't have been put in this position, once again I failed my Bella.

Again the trail led in two separate directions, I stopped…smelling the air quickly. The scent was strong now but had combined with one I knew intimately fear, I crouched low and continued running as I heard voices ahead yelling. The trail led off around a bend and as I approached I slowed my pace – hearing Bella's sobs I knew she was still alive. Not wanting to scare her further when I came into view I slowed my pace to a fast human run, when the path straightened out they came into view. What I saw stopped me short.

Bella was in someone's arms, while the boy Derrick was on the ground in a heap. I recognized the boy who held Bella closely; it was Ian. Confusion took the place of anger I was frozen on the spot, surprised and shocked. How did he get here? Was he a part of this? The scene before me didn't appear threatening at the moment.

Voices came faintly from behind me yelling out Bella's name, she turned her head in my direction. I was still frozen, not moving a muscle as I heard her whisper my name just before she fainted.