Chapter Twelve: Could You? Would You?
"Not so long ago, on our lovely trip up the beanstalk, you would have given anything to part ways. You couldn't have ran from me faster after you left me there if you recall." he said, standing in the doorway as she fell onto her bed, her back laying flat against the sheets. She ran her hands over her face before sighing in frustration.
"It's not the same!" she finally exclaimed, finding it hard to put her thoughts into words at this moment. With him right in front of her.
"How is it any different? It was not so long ago, lass." he countered, taking a step into her room and closing her dresser drawers that had been thrown open at all angles.
"Because that's not us anymore." she continued with anger in her words, sitting up in bed now and leaning her back against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest.
"At least, that's not me anymore. I couldn't do what I did then." she said, her voice losing its edge and volume.
"I'm sure you could. You did what you had to to save your family. And I'm sure, if the time came, you could trap me to save them again. And there's no shame in that, Swan." he said casually, pushing the last of the drawers in before crouching down beside it to pick up her broken jewelry box.
"I think it's very clear to me now that you and I do not have the same feelings towards one another." she said with a sad shrug, pushing her hair back quickly.
"Please, go on. Since you're so bloody insightful." he mocked, setting the cracked porcelain box on her dresser before getting to his feet, sitting on the very edge of the bed while he ran his hook along his fingertips.
"I didn't grow up with a family, pirate." she snapped, annoyed at his tone towards her. "But the ones I traveled with to Neverland are people I care for greatly. People I would risk my life for. And I can promise that if the time came again, I wouldn't be able to leave you up there in those cuffs." she said, pointing towards the sky.
"To save the people you say you love, I think in the moment, you could." he disagreed, finding it hard to believe she had changed her feelings towards him in such a short span of time.
"I'm a fool." she said to herself, sliding down from the headboard and laying down on her sheets with tears in her eyes.
He waited with silence for her to continue.
"I thought after Neverland, if we managed to find some shred of a chance of escaping, I would have something to come back to. And now the only thing I wanted to return with is so ready to get as far away from me as possible. And who the hell can blame you? I am not stopping you so I have no clue why you are even still in my home." she said staring up at the ceiling as she spoke of him as if he wasn't listening.
"You wanted Neal in Neverland, love." he said, watching as the pet name caused her to flinch the moment it hit her ears. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes as she heard him say it before she shut her lids tightly.
"Don't call me that." she said, clenching a fist to her side before bringing it over her heart. "Just go." she whispered, her body tense in a way that looked like she was in physical pain from the mere site of him.
"I told your boy I would help you straighten the place up. And I am a man of my word." he said calmly, not wanting to rile her up anymore then he already had.
"So, what?" she said, narrowing her eyes the way he always found so attractive on her. Her smirk, her tone, the fierce passion-even anger, in her eyes. Nothing had ever drove him towards a woman like the details of her face. The simple beauty of her expressions. And as she bit her bottom lip with nerves, he felt himself about to lose it, forcing himself to bolt up from the bed and step back towards the living room.
"You are going to be a kind gentleman and help a poor damsel clean her apartment and then head out to the open sea?" she continued, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and looking over at him as he stopped in the threshold.
"You know, lass. Most woman would be more appreciative of a man helping her after she let herself get abused by a weak little man." Hook said, anger forcing its way into his voice as he felt himself becoming torn at the thought of leaving her. If he didn't push her away now, make her hate him, he'd never be able to leave her and give her a better life without him.
His callous words got the reaction he wanted from her but affected him much deeper then he had prepared himself to handle. He watched as her shoulders froze and her legs pulled off the floor to lay against her bed again. She pushed herself back against the headboard, bowing her head and creating a curtain around her face with her golden hair, blocking him out of her field of vision. Hook almost regained his composure enough to take the step and walk out but then her shoulders wrenched and he heard the smallest gasp of breath escape urgently from her lips.
All I do is bring destruction in my wake. And even when I found redemption in Milah, she was torn apart because I didn't deserve her. And now I have found her, and she is sitting right in front of me, and the pull I feel towards her- it's so much stronger then Milah. I can only assume the destruction I bring her will be that much worse then my last love had to endure. Because Emma Swan is that much more pure of heart. I have to leave her even if it kills me. If I don't, she will suffer at the hands of my enemies and my past.
"So this is your plan now? Make me hate you?" she whispered, folding her legs up before sliding them under the dark blue top sheet and scooting down to lay her head against the pile of pillows she kept aligning the top of her bed. Emma turned her body to face the wall instead of the door, not wanting him to feel the glory of seeing how much his words affected her. She barely noticed when he turned out the light, covering the room with darkness. The only light came through the small window she was facing as the sun sunk low in the sky, night only a few minutes away. It cast a low, dim shine of orange across one side of her room, inches losing its light ever breath as the sun fell for the day. She kept her eyes locked on the site of it falling down past a small group of trees, ignoring the muffled footsteps that grew louder in the back of her mind. She felt more tears fall from her eyes as her cheeks were hit with a soft breeze from the open window, the stain of water that trailed down them reacting colder to the wind.
"If making you hate me is what it takes for you to let me go, Swan, then I'll gladly do it." he said, his voice tight as he forced emotions he didn't feel into his words.
"You don't need my permission to skip town, pirate. You're a grown man and you can do as you please." she said simply, tucking her hands under her head as she kept her eyes staring out into the trees.
He walked over, crouching down down beside the bed, his hands gripping the mattress beside her curved body as she stared past him, over his shoulder.
"Maybe a bit of time in jail is all Baelfire needs to get his head together. You can't predict the future, Swan and maybe me leaving is all that needs to be done to give you the happily ever after young Henry is always going on about." he said, surprised when she reacted to him. He figured she would continue to ignore him, looking through his body as if he exist mere inches from her face. He knew he must've gone too far when her eyes darkened to a shade of green he had never seen against her porcelain skin, her stare locked on his bright blue orbs.
She lifted her upper body to rest against her elbow, still on her side under the thin sheet as she leveled her stare with his, their faces inches apart in the dark room as she leaned over. She searched his eyes for any indication that he meant what he said, but all she found was pasted on annoyance as he stared back at her.
"So, what you're suggesting is that I let the man who destroyed my home-" she cut herself off, shaking her head as if her last words were absurd. "No, no no." she rushed out, correcting herself. "destroyed my life, have a time out in prison." she said, her tone more smug then he expected. "And after he learns his lesson, accept his apology for biting my neck till I bled enough to soak a bath towel. Sorry Emma," she began, her voice a lower register in a weak impersonation of Neal. "I had some time to think about everything while I was locked up and I'm sorry for holding you down with a knife to your throat every time I fucked you." she enunciated, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth to stop herself from raising her voice or arguing another moment with the pirate in front of her.
"He what?" Hook stressed, moving his face a tad closer to hers and tapping his ear, believing he must have heard her words incorrectly.
"Just go, Hook. You've said all you needed to say." she sighed, rolling over to her back as she fell flat against the mattress with defeat, her blonde hair cascading in waves over her pillows as she stared at the ceiling, unable to look at him after his words of misplaced support for her happy ending.
"Never took you as a woman who liked the rough stuff in bed, princess." he muttered, unable to stop himself before the words tumbled from his mouth loud enough for her to hear. He knew he was being selfish, but making her hate him was the only thing that would let him give her up. He was pulled towards her light, her spirit, too much to set sail as if she never existed.
"Glad you found that story amusing." she snapped, pulling the covers off her body and letting the sheet fall to the floor. She stood up quickly from bed, walking over to her closet as she felt the familiar sensation of her brain beginning to shut off her emotions before her heart could break anymore. She wordlessly pulled her jeans over her hips and down her legs, looking around the room for her hamper. It has been kicked across the room by the intruder, her clothes strewed over most of the floor. She stood the hamper upright, setting it in the corner of her closet before dropping her jeans into it.
Hook's forced anger seeped from his body as he watched the simple, sad savior discard her clothes, officially paying him no mind at all. He saw that she mirrored her illustration from Henry's book in this moment, her face plain and pure as he saw her lifeless movements, wordlessly reacting to her every step as she stared right past him. She pulled the tank top over her head while she walked to her bedroom door, ready to shut it until she saw it no longer stood aligned with the hinges. She let out a shaky breath that barely reached the pirates ears before brushing past him to stand in front of the window. The sun kissed her shoulder before disappearing completely from the sky, covering her room in darkness. She leaned against the frame, reaching up to close it, locking it from any more unwanted intruders.
There was no more anger in Hook to push her further out of his heart as he stared her up and down. He would be a fool not to notice the beauty of her body mixed with her petite frame and beautiful eyes. She stood with her back to him leaning against the window as he took in her curves that stood out flawlessly against the dark slate black color of her bra and matching lace hipster panties.
"Is that what you want for me, Hook?" she whispered, finally acknowledging him as she returned to her bed, burying herself beneath the sheets as her eyes began to close. "Would it make you happy to know that while you're setting sail across the seas, I'll be in loving, passionate hands?" she asked, turning onto her side to face him. She contained her voice of protests as he crossed the room to stand behind her before she felt a dip in the mattress. Her eyes were no longer heavy as she blinked herself awake, surprised to feel the heat behind her coming off his flesh. He laid down on top of the sheet casually, his hands under his head as he stayed on his back. His silent response encouraged her to continue, testing his limits.
"You shouldn't have even taken him to jail if you believe he's the one for me. Maybe you think he should be with me right now. Since I like it so rough in bed as you put it." she sneered, turning over to face him even as he looked up towards the ceiling, feeling her burning stare nonetheless.
"Aye, perhaps you're right, Swan. Want I should go fetch the clever lad? Let him know you like when he treats you like rotten garbage. I mean, you must. You stayed with him for years letting him use you however he wished." he said in returning, glancing to the side briefly, smirking in her direction.
"It seems I don't need him anymore what with you in my bed treating me like garbage, his position has been filled for the night." she whispered, surprising him with her swift movements as she lifted one leg to entwine with his, her hand sliding up his chest before digging her nails into the skin their for hardly a second. He snapped his head down to look at her as her actions caught him completely off guard before her lips slammed against his harder then he would expect from her. She kissed him with a desperation that she didn't know she had in her for barely a second, taking his bottom lip into her mouth a nipping it between her teeth, her jaw tightening as she ran her hand from his chest up his neck until it rested on his cheek.
Hook was brought back to reality when he felt a wetness hit his face, fresh tears falling from her eyes against his cheeks.
'Emma." he began, sadness in his eyes as all the regret hit him at once. But she didn't let him take it back. He couldn't.
"You should be ashamed of yourself." she whispered, her voice breaking as she shoved her palms against his chest until he was forced away from her. She looked into his eyes with a deep, overwhelming sadness before turning over to her other side, letting him stare with remorse at her bare back in the moonlight.
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