a/n: Thanks for all the reviews!! I really appreciate it! :D On Todays List Its...
IAN! AKA THE SQUIRT! (dont worry, we do love you)
50 ways to annoy Ian.
1. Call him a squirt.
2. Step on him.
3. When he gets mad, say its because hes a squirt.
4. Ask him if is nose has special powers.
5. Make Squirt jokes when hes around
6. Everytime hes standing next to you go like, Wheres Ian?
7. When he says Im here, go like, Oh I didnt see you.
8. Because hes a squirt.
9. "Forget" to greet him.
10. Say its because hes a squirt.
11. Give him plastic surgery flyers.
12. Make an appointment with a surgeon for a nose job.
13. Make jokes about how his launcher is bigger than he is and that his nose is too.
14. Seduce him into your bed.
15. Say "little Ian" is also a squirt.
16. Tell everyone.
17. Lock him in a room, chain him to a wall and call Boris.
18. Make sure he hears said phone call.
19. Get him a life long stock of viagra for his birthday when he asks for vodka.
20. Tell him you heard wrong.
21. Because hes a squirt.
22. Slap him with vodka bottles
23. Slap him with boiled cabbage
24. Get him 2 hyperactive cats and a bird for his birthday.
25. Put a combination lock on his fridge.
26. Redecorate his house with post-its.
27. Say "No" to everything he says.
28. If he asks if thats the only thing you can say, answer with "yes"
29. Repeat this conversation preferably over 20 times a day.
30. Put laxatives in all his food and hide the toilet paper.
31. Better yet, make sure he cant get a hold of any toilet paper.
32. Cuz hes a squirt.
33. Strain and grunt for about half an hour, drop something heavy in the toilet bowl, then sigh relaxingly.
34. If youre a boy, cross dress and go to the toilet (standing), leave the door open and make sure he sees.
35. If he says hes going to the bathroom, ask if he needs help.
36. Make random sex noises whenever you see him.
37. Include Dirty Talk.
38. Fold his dirty laundry and put it in his closet.
39. Throw his clean clothes in the laundry.
40. Dont forget the underwear.
41. Dont turn off the lights
42. Smash all the light bulbs with a hammer.
43. Complain about how youre always broke...cuz light bulbs are so expensive (Mind, youre not the one buying new ones)
44. Speak in 733T, 11 T3H T!M3
45. Sharpen your knives every night.
46. Loudly.
47. Mutter evil psycho killer things such as "youre gonna pay" and "One day.."
48. Make sure everything you say rhymes.
49. Eat all of his food, off plate of course.
50. Hit him with fake noses.
A-N: Im kind of late, but after this week its the Christmas holidays and then I have more time to post this randomness!