50 ways to annoy Voltaire.
Thanks to Purple-Kissed-Wishes for the awesome inspiration.
Warnings: Stupid jokes, lameness towards the end.
1. Forbid him to kick kais kitty.
2. Tell him his grandson gets it up the ass.
3. By Tala.
4. And Tyson if he can get it up.
5. Spam him with poo.
6. Tell him Boris doesn't love him.
7. And that he has gramps now.
8. Tell him Gramps has the hots for him.
9. Tell him you have the hots for him.
10. Tell him you think he's "Quirky."
11. Tell him Kai talks to his Penis.
12. Digitally alter pictures of him to make it look like he's wearing elephant thongs.
13. Sell those pictures to newspapers.
14. Give him an elephant thong for his B-day.
15. Make him wear it, knock him out or something to get it on...
16. Tell him you masturbated to the elephant thong pictures.
17. Send him a love letter signed: Sincerely yours, Boris, addressed to: Voltaire, My lovely wife.
18. Tell him Tyson wants a piece of his nice, aged, saggy, hairy ass.
19. And Hiro fancies him too.
20. Say it runs in the family.
21. Order dildos, buttplugs, anal beads and whatnot online and send them to his address.
22. Tell him they made a mistake, its actually for Kai.
23. Run up to him and scream: MR BLOBBY!!
24. Then glomp him.
25. Say he's too fat to float.
26. Then throw him in a pool.
27. Every time he says where, answer with: "DOWN THERE!"
28. Step on his....erm...cape? coat? THINGIE?
29. Throw vodka bottles at him.
30. Throw a birthday party for him, constantly stress how old he is.
31. But not wise. x3
32. Say only a fucking retard would think of ruling the world with spinning tops.
33. Say Boris doesn't love him anymore.
34. Make a list of 50 ways to annoy him.
35. Send him the list, about a hundred times.
36. Make your dog bite his ankles.
37. If you have a cat, make it scratch him.
38. Continuously sing: "wake me up before you go go."
39. And force him to dance.
40. You might want to use voodoo for that...
41. Steal his teacup.
42. Replace all of his clothes by pink tutus.
43. Send him to a madhouse.
44. Make sure he has to wear a straitjacket.
45. Get him a size too small.
46. Tell him you have sexual fantasies of him and Mr. D.
47. Try to flirt with him. (A/N: this might result in rape if you're not careful...)
48. Fling nutcrackers at him.
49. Say its for a higher purpose.
50. Dye is hair neon pink.
OnlyNotReally: This was screaming at me to be uploaded. But now I must run for the wrath of Voltaire shall swallow me otherwise.