50 Ways to Annoy Gramps.
A/N: Its completely up to you how you (mis?)interpret "kendo stick."
1. Steal is kendo stick.
2. Replace all of his clothes with normal ones.
3. Tell him: "Its rather unfortunate, but your grandson gets it up the ass by Kai" (A/N: I'm not a fan of the Tyson/Kai pairing, btw.)
4. Tell him he can't cook.
5. Hit him with his Kendo stick.
6. Shave off his moustache.
7. Lock him in his house.
8. Then go on a holiday, without him.
9. Admit to him that he really, no really, isn't cool.
10. At all.
11. Repeat everything he says.
12. Break his kendo stick.
13. Hide the porn.
14. Superglue his moustache onto his eyebrows.
15. Or better yet, glue it back on.
16. Ask him if its only the face that wrinkles with age…
17. Burn his kendo stick.
18. Steal is viagra pills.
19. Send him love letters, singed with, "Yours forever, Voltaire."
20. Then tell him they made a mistake, they're actually for Tyson.
21. Tell him you'd want to do him, if he wasn't so old.
22. Ask him if he can get it up.
23. If he doesn't answer, this is your conclusion: "So you use Viagra?"
24. Go like "Oh I have an itch!" and then scratch him.
25. Ask him if he likes to wear elephant thongs.
26. Repeatedly.
27. Replace all of his underwear with French knickers.
28. All the things you could do with a kendo stick…gheghe…
29. Make Tyson own him at Kendo.
30. Throw him into the Koi pond.
31. Redecorate his dojo.
32. Paint it pink.
33. Continuously sing Avenue Q songs.
34. Get up at 3 am everyday, shout "I WANT SODA" really loud (Make sure he wakes up) and then go to bed again. (1)
35. If he questions you about it, mumble you must be sleepwalking again.
36. Or, better yet, look stupefied.
37. Parle seulement en français. (2)
38. Pretend to be deaf.
39. Be really anal and demand him to iron your underwear. (3)
40. Ask him in what position he likes Boris best.
41. Tell him his grandson gets it up the ass and is now, magically, pregnant.
42. Ask him what its like to be an Achmed the dead terrorist impersonator.
43. Tell Gramps you know he secretly wants to be a part of Voltaire's and Boris' posse.
44. Tell him his kendo stick does not suffice to be a part of it.
45. Cut off the power, so that he has to cut his nose hairs in the dark now.
46. Make lame Kendo stick jokes.
47. Steal his kendo stick saying you're going to shove it up Tyson's arse.
48. Or do not, just steal it and give it back, while its dripping with lube.
49. Take a picture of said kendo stick, upload the pictures on the internets.
50. Dress him up in a Barney suit and tell him it secretly turns you on.
A/N: I was supposed to update, but then I hurt my left (dominant) hand. -_-
1) Do you get that, you wake p in the middle of the night with a sudden urge for orange soda? Well I do and I don't even like soda! Ö
2) I speak French! XD I also speak Chinese (ahem) Wo bu shi mei guo ren! Wo bu hui shuo pu thong hua!
(3) I iron my underwear….Okay I never said that.