Coconuts
The order of the phoenix was in chaos. The chosen one, the boy-who-lived, the savior of the wizarding world had vanished!
Not long after returning to number four privet drive after his sixth year at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, the raven-haired young man had left his family's home. A massive search was in effect and was so far fruitless. The entirety of the British isles was being covered, but the boy could not be found.
The headquarters of the vigilante group was shrouded in a tense atmosphere as the front door opened and the very subject of the tension entered with a big grin plastered across his face. Humming to himself, Harry made his way into the kitchen where, unnoticed by those present, he opened the fridge to grab a butterbeer and sat at the table.
"What's going on?" he asked casually, grabbing everyone's attention, and was immediately set upon.
"Where have you been?!" yelled Mrs. Weasley.
"Huh?"
"We were informed that you left the Dursleys' not long after you arrived." stated Remus Lupin, only slightly calmer than the Weasley matriarch.
"Oh... yeah. Well, after Dumbledore's death and what not, I didn't really feel like staying there 'till my birthday, so I left."
"Then where the bloody hell have you been?" demanded his friend, Ron.
"Well, I was gonna take the Knight Bus to this street, but I felt like walking for a while. Of course, I didn't know the way here, so I picked a direction."
"Then how did you find your way?" asked Harry's girlfriend, Hermione Granger, still teary-eyed at the supposed loss of the man she loved.
"Oh! I eventually summoned the Knight Bus."
"You've been missing for hours! Where were you when you summoned the the bus?"
"Well..." Harry started with a sly grin as music sounded from nowhere, causing everyone else to look around in surprise and disbelief.
Down at an English fair,
this evening I was there,
when I heard a showman shout from underneath the flare.
Harry Jumped up from his seat and leaped onto the table. He pulled a big black top hat and a cane from nowhere. The rest of those in attendance blinked simultaneously and saw that he was wearing a coat and tails as their eyes.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,
there they are a standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist.
That's what the showman said!
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,
every one you throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
singing...
Harry gestured at Hermione, who was compelled to join in.
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch.
Suddenly, everyone around the table was forced to sing as well.
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
They quieted and Harry continued, rolling his r's.
Rrrrolll a bowl a ball!
Rrrroll a bowl a ball!
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
The music flared as the entire crowd, led by Harry left the hose in a chorus line. The flooded the street, ignorant to the sudden appearance of every single death eater and Voldemort himself, who was inexplicably carrying every single one of his horcruxes.
The dark forces felt compelled to join the chorus line and Voldemort stepped to Harry's side, who turned to the dancing crowd and raised his arms ready to conduct. As he started waving his hands, the entire group began to sing.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Harry interjected with a high pitched "They're Lovely!"
There they are a standin' in a row.
Harry again cut in with "1 2 3 4!"
Big ones, small one, some as big as your head.
"And Bigger!"
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist,
that's what the showman said.
The crowd backed off to allow Harry to continue.
Now, but I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
The people sounded with an enthusiastic "La da da daaaa da!"
Every ball you throw will make me rich.
The two dancing organizations replied "Have a banaaaaaaana!"
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pinch.
Aaaall together, now!
The crowd joined back in.
Singing roll a bow a ball a penny a pitch!
"Harmonyyy!"
Singing roll a bow a ball a penny a pitch!
Harry was once again left alone.
Rrrroll a bowl a ball!
Rrrroll a bowl a ball!
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Voldemort and his horcruxes, including the piece of his soul stored within Harry's scar, flew in to the air where they promptly exploded. Multicolor showers of sparks filled the starry sky, illuminating the still dancing crowd and Harry who was still holding his note.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!
The music continued as the aurors arrived to arrest every single death eater.
And thus, Lord Voldemort was defeated. Not by love, as theorized by the late Albus Dumbledore, but by the power of music.