50 Ways To Annoy Gary
Author's note: It's not funny how busy I've been, but I'm back!!
Warnings: Ur mom Jokes, slightly altered of course, swearing, randomness,
sarcasm, lame references, the USUAL *dumdumdumdum*
Disclaimer: I own my sick mind, that is all.
1. Steal his food.
2. Tell him he's fat.
3. And that he needs to go on a diet.
4. Tell him he's so fat that when he jumps he gets stuck.
5. Tell him even Henry the vacuum cleaner wouldn't want him.
6. Ask him if he seriously thinks he looks hot in those dungarees.
7. If he looks dumbfounded, do a "face palm" and leave.
8. Throw toilet rolls with "suspicious" stains on it at him.
9. Get him a bra for his birthday.
10. Tell him he should use a good bra for his man boobs or they will become
saggy and start to hang.
11. Tell him he's so fat that if he wants to go around the block all he needs to do is
turn.
12. Give him a "Slim 'n Lift" for Christmas.
13. Every time he says something interrupt him and say "I don't speak Asian,
sorry."
14. Print this list and give it to him, then take it back and say: "Never mind, it's not
like you can read."
15. Ask him if he can even see his dick, because, you know, he's fat.
16. Do this repeatedly, force him to admit he can't see it.
17. Every time he eats something, fake a grannies voice and scream: "FAT,
CALORIES, FAAAAT, SUGAR, CALORIES."
18. Only stop when you're out of breath and dying because of it.
19. Put any kind of (fake) dead animal in his cereal box.
20. Fling (Boiling hot) Babi Pan Gang at him.
21. Give him a long drink glass of barf, insist on it being a new protein drink. Make
him drink it.
22. After he's finished drinking it, tell him it really was barf.
23. Of he then pukes it all up, say it's okay, he might lose a few pounds.
24. Encourage him to become bulimic.
25. Demonstrate how he should do it of course.
26. He's Asian, so he has a small dick and on top of that, he's fat. Constantly stress these facts.
27. Tell him you did not wipe your butt properly this morning when you took a shit and that it itches now, because it's gone all crusty. (A/N: I have NO idea when that came from :"))
28. Tell him he's never gonna have sexy-time.
29. Because he's too fat.
30. Replace all his clothes with Mariah's.
31. Laugh at him for not being able to fit in them.
32. Steal his clothes and towel(s? You never know, he's fat!) when he's in the bathrooms in a Beyblade Stadium.
33. Redecorate his house using cat fur.
34. To make it really annoying you COULD use real fur, but fake fur will also do.
35. Superglue a giant purple dildo to his forehead while he's sleeping.
36. When the morning comes ask him if he has aspirations to become a unicorn.
37. Constantly sing "Jizz In My Pants" by "The Lonely Island."
38. Or any other song by them.
39. Shave off his hair and glue it to his arse.
40. Dance/Jump around screaming "I'm on Shrooms!"
41. Replace all of his food with Baby Food.
42. Paint his toenails neon pink.
43. Whenever he opens his mouth, get up, start dancing randomly and sing whatever comes to mind.
44. Replace all the furniture in his house by carton boxes.
45. Tell Tala he stole his elephant thongs.
46. Throw him into a pool and scream "We've got a floater!"
47. Spam his e-mail address with adds for weight loss pills.
48. Make sure to send at least 200 a day.
49. Set an alarm on 4 am, hide the clock.
50. Tell him he's so fat that if he'd see a yellow bus with white children in it, he'd chase it and say: "Stop that Twinkie!"
Review Pwease?