"Yer a mess, Harry… Skulking around Knockturn Alley? Dodgy place…"

"I gathered that, Hagrid… but what were you doing down there?"

"Flesh-Eating Slug Repellent. They're ruining the school cabbages." I nodded, and turned away from Hagrid. Amber had come rushing up at that moment.

"How's it going, Harry?" she asked.

"Good. How are you… two?" Ginny had followed Amber.

"I'm doing fine. Dad didn't raise too many eyebrows. Mum's still in hospital, but she'll be back on her feet before I return to Hogwarts," Amber responded. Ginny just smiled and nodded. She hadn't said much around me.

"Well, if you girls are here, then maybe you can show Harry where the Weasleys are?"

"Sure thing, Hagrid."

Amber and Ginny were holding both my hands as they made their way towards the Weasley family… and Darion.

"Harry! My goodness, I hoped you'd only gone one grate too far," Mrs Weasley said, beating the dust and soot from me. She also gave an odd glance in Ginny's direction, but made no comment as to exactly what disturbed her.

"So where did you end up?" George asked.

"Knockturn Alley," I stated.

"Brilliant! We've never been allowed!" Fred said.

"I shouldn't think so. When I have kids, I wouldn't let them set foot in there. Got to remember to thank Hagrid again next time I see him," I elaborated. Fred looked aghast, but everyone else nodded fervently.

"We'll split up, shall we? Who's going where?" Mr Weasley interrupted.

"OK, well here's my take: Mr and Mrs Weasley, you go take Ginny to get her basics: robes, a wand, et cetera. That is the most pressing issue. As for the books… well, we should probably wait for everyone. Nine sets of seven books? That's 63 tomes! Let's face it: that's a joint effort. We'll meet you back here in an hour." Hermione had gone into full teaching mode.

"Agreed. Not one step down Knockturn Alley!" Mrs Weasley added.

After an hour, all eleven of us ventured towards Flourish and Blotts for all the Lockhart books and Ginny's basics. Coincidentally, who else would be present but Gilderoy Lockhart himself doing a book signing?

The eleven of us crowded into the already stuffed bookshop to take a glance at the legendary figure. He swept into the room.

"'Scuse me, this is for the Daily Prophet!" a pockmarked wizard stated, shoving past Ron to get to Lockhart.

"Big deal," Ron muttered, rolling his eyes. Lockhart looked up for the speaker… and spotted me. He reached forward, grabbed my sleeve, and pulled me to his side.

First mistake. He failed to notice the fact I was holding the hands of two girls. Second mistake, he knocked Amber against the desk he was standing behind, and nearly hit Ginny as well, if it weren't for her reflexes. I let go of her, and she took Amber away to help her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is. When young Harry stepped into Flourish and Blotts, he sought only to purchase copies of my wonderful autobiography, Magical Me, which I present to him, free of charge, he had no idea that he would be the catalyst of an announcement I have been dying to make.

"You see, ladies and gentlemen, Professor Dumbledore has begged me to take up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

Who does this guy think he is?

Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, First Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and Five Times Winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award.

OK, what else?

Well… oh, right. I'm going to go with narcissist, and then every single synonym for idiot I can think of. Closely followed by attractive.

…

I get that a lot.

"Ginny, are you alright?" Ginny nodded, but gestured to Amber's head. A large bruise was beginning to form.

"This is going to suck. Here, you can take these. I'll buy my own…"

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" I turned. Yes, that voice belonged to my biggest enemy… Malfoy. "Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, you twitchy ferret! In case you haven't noticed, that simpleton knocked Amber unconscious. I don't think he gives a fiddle about that fiasco," Ginny said. Her gaze was unnerving. Paradoxically, I enjoyed seeing this Ginny.

"Look, Potter… you've got yourself a harem!"

"Now, now, Draco…" Never before could I associate the alleviation of Malfoy with imminent doom. A man resembling Draco strongly had gently pushed the boy aside.

"Well, well, Mr Potter."

"I don't believe we've met."

"Lucius Malfoy. Draco is my son. Now tell me… what exactly are you doing with girls like Granger and Weasley? Surely, as the Boy who Lived, there are much greater pickings?"

"Please make the monkey stop talking…" Amber muttered in her daze.

"If you'll excuse us, Mr Malfoy, we really need to get going." Lucius glanced once more at Amber, and nodded. Even he was not as heartless as to let a pretty girl succumb to a head wound in public.

…I have such a wonderful opinion of him, don't I?

Yes, yes you do. Now where is the nearest exit?

"Harry! There you are! We've been looking for you! Listen, what happened?"

"Arthur Weasley?" Lucius looked very forbidding.

"Lucius…"

"Dear me… all those raids… are they paying you overtime?" He picked up one of Ginny's second hand books. "Obviously not. What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of-"

Arthur had leaped at him before he could finish the sentence. Ginny looked horror-struck. I nudged my arm around her waist, and she blushed.

"Thanks, Harry. But why would-"

"Draco is nasty. It obviously came from the father."

The fight was broken up as swiftly as it was started. Lucius had taken a hold of Ginny's copy of Travels With Trolls. He spared it only a contemptuous glance before slamming it into Darion's chest.

"Come, Draco. We must be off."

What have we learned? Well, Ginny trusts Harry, Lockhart is an idiot, and Darion hangs around.

In all seriousness, I watched the Chamber of Secrets recently. If memory serves, no important scene was cut from the movie, so I have the rest of the Chamber of Secrets planned. The next chapter will be a perspective shift, then two more chapters, and then the awesome scene I've been looking forward to.

But a slight word of warning: I have two Creative Writing pieces to work on. I will give Legend of the Oina a glanceover, due to the impending goodness, Tale of Two Geniuses (I do have something upstairs) will receive as much attention as normal, and Mystic Amber will continue to haunt my dreams. That will be about it until Creative Writing is done.

Neither can live while the other survives...