Of Mudbloods and Sex
(A/N: Hello all! Sorry for the... wow, almost two months of no updates! FEAR NOT - I have not forgotten this story! This chapter isn't exactly as exciting as the last chapter... but you know... setting it up and everything...
I know some of you might be a bit mad (koffkoffjkoffkoff) but how about I promise a long update next time? In two weeks? Because I've been sick with this virus for over a week... had to stay at the health center of my school overnight... three days and two nights of boredom. No access to a computer.
So yes. I promise a nice, almost ten page update next time, all right y'all? )
Chapter Five
That night, after a hearty dinner which ended up being held very late, the three girls all retired to their rooms for a good night's rest. As they all bid each other goodnight in the circular room, Holt interrupted from his portrait high up on the wall.
"Mistresses Lily, Kirsty, Romanda," he said with a bow after the girls had finished giggling over something.
Kirst straightened up and turned to look at Holt. "Yes?"
"I would just like to know what time you all shall want to be awakened," he said, looking down his nose at them. Ro shuffled a little bit, glancing away from Holt, but Lily's face drew on a look of slight suspicion which quickly turned to one with curiosity.
Kirsty, who couldn't see her two best friends from her place in the room, continued, "I think perhaps at around ten. That all right with you?" She finally turned around to look at her friends, but by the time she did, Ro was looking normal again and Lily's face was blank of anything prior.
"I guess that's all right," Ro said, opening her door and already retreating into her chambers.
"Ten?" Lily groaned as Holt nodded to them and bowed out of the portrait. "We're on summer vacation. Who wakes up at ten on summer vacation?"
"We do," Kirst said before she, too, retired to her chambers.
Grumbling, Lily entered her rooms. As soon as she closed the door, the candles lit up the room immediately, throwing a soft orange light around the room. Lily made her way over to the bed, collapsing on her back on top of the covers.
She stared up at the cover of the four-poster bed, contemplating the last couple of days. Her mind strayed to the incident with James, and her pale face furrowed in a slight frown.
She knew since the beginning of fifth year that James might have fancied her. At that time, she thought that it was just a passing feeling. James and his best friends (except for Peter, the poor thing) had always been some of the very sought-after boys in her year. The younger girls and the girls of Lily's year (including some of the boys as well) were always drooling left and right whenever they came by. James and his friends (well, excluding Pettigrew and Lupin) had a different girlfriend every week, and only the lucky ones were ever revisited by them again.
Obviously, this caused their egos to swell. For the last few years, they had thought that they could pick up girls whenever they wanted to. Lily was sick of comforting girls in her dorm who cried over having – and then losing – the 'most wanted bachelors of Hogwarts', and had decided that, if there was ever a time one of the Marauders eyed her like a piece of meat, she would not be humiliated like her fellow friends.
But Lily was not a girl who would turn away the attentions of the opposite sex. She had flirted a little with the infamous Marauder for the first two weeks before realizing that James had not moved on to another girl. Instead, he seemed to have taken Lily's flirting and downright refusals as playing hard-to-get. He put more effort into gaining her affections every time she flirted until she finally stopped altogether.
Thinking that, if she refused his invitations to the next Hogsmeade outings, James would stop, Lily ceased flirting or even talking to the Marauder. For a while, she thought all had reverted back to normal, and happily spent her days without a care about James.
A few weeks later, she realised that none of her old suitors came to call on her anymore. She questioned the girls and boys of her dorm, only to find out that James had threatened every boy who had had an interest in her with endless pranks if they did not agree to stay away from Lily.
This finally sparked her 'redhead temper', and she blew up at him, thus starting the infamous fights that are overheard in Gryffindor Tower almost daily. But this yelling only served to encourage him even further. And since then, she had been burdened with trying to turn him away and stay civil at the same time – something she failed at daily, if those fights counted for anything.
Sighing loudly, Lily turned over and flopped facedown into her pillows, groaning. Although the plan had been a really good idea – and it might teach the Marauders a thing or two about playing with girls – she was still reluctant to think of the consequences. If this plan was to be undertaken properly, she would have to blemish her polished record. And that was not something she would dive into agreeably.
But still… to teach those egotistical jerks their place… She couldn't wait.
In one of the other chambers, someone lay in the dark, quite like Lily had earlier. Staring at the cover of their four-poster bed, the shape did not appear to move, as though it were concentrating on something up there. If you bent closer, you would be able to make out the look of mixed confusion, despair, and guardedness on it.
Why does it always have to come to this? she thought angrily. Every night, the same thing… all I think about is this face
Angrily, she clenched her fist and began to punch her pillow. Seething with confusion, her eyes concentrated on the violent gesture. Quickly, her anger faded into horror, and she buried her face in the warmth of her pillow.
Ro started shaking, closing her eyes in shock. She was not one to be violent, and at that moment, very violent thoughts were going through her mind. Even her fist clenched in anger surprised her badly. She rolled over onto her back again, and she stared up at the ceiling. Closing her eyes, she twisted and turned for hours before falling into a fitful sleep.
Troubling thoughts ran through her mind during that time of restlessness. And it wasn't because of her reaction to that face.
It was because of those eyes, that nose, those lips that haunted her.
And the fact that she had never seen that face before in her life.
The next morning, Lily opened her eyes sleepily. Eyeing the richness around her, she slowly sat up, wondering where in the world she was. Finally remembering that she had moved into Kirst's summer home, she yawned and stretched before getting ready for the day. Throwing on a fluffy bathrobe she found waiting for her after her shower, she put on a pair of slippers and walked out of her room. Wandering into the circle room, she looked around her, confused as to where to get breakfast.
"The door to your right, Mistress Lily."
Lily whirled around to find herself in front of a portrait of Holt. Lily smiled.
"Thanks, Holt. Are Kirst and Ro there as well?"
"Mistress Kirsty and Mistress Romanda are dining at this present moment, yes."
Lily nodded before setting off. She walked down several corridors and through several doorways before the smell of pancakes led her to a door on her right.
Kirst and Ro were already sitting down, Kirst munching on salad and Ro eagerly downing a glass of milk, in the process of finishing a plate of pancakes. Lily grinned before sitting down next to them, ordering orange juice and cereal from the house elf that rushed up to her as soon as she had entered the room.
As soon as Lily finished speaking, Kirst wiped her mouth on her napkin before folding it neatly and placing it by her plate. Clearing her throat, she sat up straight before continuing in a business-like tone, "Ladies, I've got a full schedule planned out for us today."
Ro looked up with a pancake in her mouth and Lily's spoon stopped halfway to her mouth.
"What?" Lily asked, setting her spoon down into her cereal again.
"That's what I said," Kirst said, looking at Lily with a patronising gaze. "Our agenda for today is jam-packed, so you both have to finish breakfast and get ready quickly, or we'll be late for our first appointment!"
By this time, Ro had removed the pancake from her mouth and was now wiping her mouth with her napkin. Lily was in the process of opening and closing her mouth several times, making her look like a fish out of water.
"What appointments?" Lily finally asked when her body became fully functional once more. Kirst was in the process of filing her nails with a nail file she had asked a house elf to fetch. Ro was still floundering in her pancakes and syrup, realising that her food would be wasted if she didn't finish it before they left for this 'appointment'.
"Oh, tittle tattle," Kirst said, waving her hand. "It doesn't matter. You'll find out once we start, now won't you?"
She got up and made her way around the table towards the door. Just as she exited, she said over her shoulder, "Oh, by the way, our transport is leaving in five minutes. You should hurry up."
Both Ro and Lily shot out of their seats and down the hallway.
At ten thirty-five, five minutes past the intended time, Lily and Ro were standing outside Kendrickson Hideaway, their best friend nowhere in sight.
"I knew this was going to happen," Lily said, crossing her arms and glaring at the front door. "Off she goes, threatening to leave without us, and we come here a few minutes late to find that she hasn't even come out yet! I mean, look at this!"
Lily gestured at her outfit. She was wearing a pair of ridiculously bright orange shorts and a forest green top, paired with brown flip-flops; her face was undone; and her hair looked extremely untidy.
"I look horrendous!"
Ro covered her smile with a hand. She, on the other hand, had seen this coming, and had took a lot more time – and thought – into what she was wearing, compared to her friend. She was dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a white tank top, paired with white flip-flops, and her hair looked completely fine.
"Next time, actually think while you're hurrying? I've found that prevents a lot of mishaps." Lily glared at her best friend as Ro turned her attention back to the daffodil she had just plucked a minute ago.
The bang of the front door opening announced Kirst's arrival. Lily turned around to find her friend talking quickly into a mobile phone.
Frowning, she thought, I thought mobile phones weren't supposed to work near magic? and edged closer to her friend.
"Oh, that's all right… Really? That'd be terrific, if… Oh, would you? Thanks so much! … In a few more minutes? Oh… Alright… That's fine, no need to apologise, Karl… No problem! Thanks!"
Kirsty hung up her phone, looking really smug. She was wearing a striped tank top with a denim skirt and pair of brown flip-flops, and was perfectly made-up, unlike her two friends.
She turned around and stopped to stare at Lily.
"Lily," Kirst said in disbelief, "What in the world are you wearing?"
"Well, you told us we only had five minutes!" Lily snapped back, trying to pat her mane back down. It was stubbornly ignoring her.
"Well, we did, at that time," Kirst said, taking out a mirror and some cover-up from her handbag. She handed it to Lily who smiled in gratitude before setting to work. (She had a couple of nasty zits, that one.) "But it turns out our transport wouldn't be here for awhile, so we don't have to hurry that much."
She continued handing Lily some make-up supplies from her handbag and offered some to Ro, who shook her head. She had always preferred to go au naturel.
When she finished, Lily handed everything back to Kirst before looking down at her clothing.
"What in the name of Merlin am I supposed to do with this?"
"Well," said an American-accented, high-pitched, yet masculine voice behind them, "maybe make you first strip out of them, rip them into shreds, and incinerate them back at my place before I find something of mine to let you wear that wouldn't burn the eyes of every person who saw you. Because, hon', I could tell you right now you'd look a million times better with the proper skin treatment and some designer labels slapped on that ass."
Lily emitted a loud squeak before turning around to face the road. Ro straightened up and Kirst beamed as they all caught sight of the black BMW with darkened windows. The back passenger seat's window was rolled down, and a cute guy in his twenties – brunet, gray-blue eyes, and very well manicured – had stuck his head out of the window and was smiling at them all very genially.
"Karl!" Kirst squealed, running over to the car. She leaned against the door and kissed him on both cheeks before turning back to her friends. "Karl, these are Romanda Wong and Lily Evans, my best friends!"
"Nice to meet you," he said, smiling, but he seemed to wince at both their attires. Ro hid a frown behind an impassive face.
"You guys, this is Karl Whitmore, the professional private trainer, well-known make-up and wardrobe artist, and furthermore, he's shaped hundreds of ugly, stupid, blonde bimbos into the hundreds of pretty, stupid, blonde bimbos that cover the magazines, televisions, and headlines of our world today!" Kirst finished with a flourish, letting out all the information in one large gust of air.
"Oh, all this praise and I haven't even taken a proper look at you yet!" Karl tittered. He opened the car door and waved an arm at them invitingly. "Come on! We've got a million things to do and only so much time to make it all happen!"
Kirst bounded into the car readily while Lily reluctantly followed. Ro stopped Kirst before she got inside.
"Hey, Kirst," Ro whispered, "Is he American? I could have sworn he has an American accent."
Kirst smiled brightly before saying, "Yeah, of course he is! Didn't I tell you? We're in Muggle America." She got into the car as Ro blinked a couple of times, surprised.
"She goes off and forgets to tell us we're in an entirely different country," Ro mumbled as she took a look back at the Hideaway.
This is going to be the last time I'll see this house before I am completely and utterly scarred for life, she thought, sighing. Well… here we go. Welcome to the world of tall, stupid, blonde bimbos. Aiya… what would Mama and YeYe say?
The car door slammed shut behind her as they sped away.
"So."
Freezing in their positions, Ro and Lily looked up at Karl and Kirst with sheepish grins. They had been exploring the inside of the car – thoroughly – before Karl got their attention back. Kirst shook her head before turning back to Karl.
"You know this is really late notice, right?" Karl asked Kirst. "I'm not sure I'll be able to do all this in… what… say two months?"
"Oh, please, Karl!" Kirst begged, leaning forward. Lily had the impression that Kirst was showing a little too much cleavage at that point, but her mouth remained shut. Ro glanced at Kirst then back at Lily, surprised that she hadn't said something already.
"I know you're so busy, what with it already being summer and all those bimbos you were talking about earlier are going to be all on you to help them primp up," Kirst continued, adding an overdramatic flair to her speech, "but I know you've done this kind of thing before. I mean, look where my cousin Viola ended up! On almost every magazine in Germany!"
"Oh, please," Karl said, his eyes lingering on Kirst's chest area. "That was nothing. I mean, look at her, she already had the looks, the body, the face…"
"Yes, but she couldn't have been anything if you didn't teach her all that stuff about clothes, and make-up, and taking care of her body, and hiding back acne, and sex positions, and potatoes, and – "
"Stop," Karl said, holding up a hand and sitting straight up in his seat before leaning back. His face took on a dramatic change, and he leant back into his own plush, black leather seat as if he needed to draw strength from it.
"I'll do it," he said, his face falling as if it had taken him great amounts of effort to even think of such a thing. Lily thought that he had just given up his life's goal just to help them. Not. "I'll do it."
Kirst squealed in delight and bounced up and down in her seat as Ro smiled politely, as Lily struggled not to roll her eyes.
"Well, when we get to my studio, I'll get a good look at you three," Karl said, glancing at Ro and Lily. "This car's lights simply aren't good for anything!"
Ro blinked as she looked around at all the bright lights in the car.
"Oh, and help yourself to the fridge," Karl said as Kirst did just that. "I'm sure you're all dying of thirst from the last half hour."
Lily reached in and was about to take the soda when Karl reached out and slapped her hand.
Hard.
"Shit – hey!" Lily cried out indignantly while trying to nurse her right hand. "What was that for?"
"If I'm going to be turning you three into starlets, the first thing that's got to go is your diet," Karl said, chastising. "I'm not going to put you on any of those horrific diets though," he continued, sniffing in disdain. "Those never work."
Lily rubbed her hand a little more, the throbbing going away. She fixed a polite smile on her face before turning back to Karl.
"Then what should I have, Karl?" Lily asked sweetly as Kirst popped open her bottle of water. Ro followed her actions.
"Water, of course," Karl said dismissingly. "You should follow your friends' examples. They, at least, seem to know what's good for them."
Stinging, Lily reached into the fridge for a bottle of water, glaring at the back of Karl's head. She was about to unscrew the top off the bottle when it was snatched out of her grasp.
"Not mineral," Karl said, thrusting a different bottle into her hands. "Natural spring."
Lily glared a few more seconds before sighing and settling down in her seat. She unscrewed the top off violently before taking a huge gulp.
Today's going to be a long day…
Finally, the car stopped. Kirst and Karl looked up from their conversation as Ro came back from the stupor she had sunken into.
"Well, here we are!" Karl said, stepping outside and holding the door open for the girls. Kirst climbed out and her eyes widened delightedly. Ro stopped in her tracks, her eyes doing the same thing. They both held their breaths, waiting for the explosion that announced Lily's realisation.
When none came, they turned around, confused, and looked inside the car. Lily was sitting in her chair, snoring, and lightly dribbling saliva all over the expensive leather.
"Lily," Ro hissed. "Lily!"
Lily snorted and came to, shooting up and looking around frantically.
"What, what? Did someone explode the Potions classroom again?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and fumbling for her wand.
"No, no, put your wand away!" she said quickly as Karl made his way over.
Lily noticed Karl and shoved her wand back into her pocket before straightening and exiting the car.
"Not a problem whatsoever!" she said cheerily as she brushed past Karl. When she was level with Kirst, she noticed the little cheeky grin that Kirst sported and looked at her questioningly. When all Kirst did was raise and lower her eyebrows, Lily just looked even more confused. Finally rolling her eyes, Kirst cocked her head in the general direction of Karl's studio and Lily turned.
Her jaw dropped and her eyes grew as round as saucers as she realized what was going to happen to her.
"NOT PLASTIC SURGERY!" she all but shrieked in terror. All her senses were in turmoil. I did not want to change this much for stupid bloody Potter! No way in Hell am I going in there, even though it would make my life if I could show up the bloody git! Nosirree, not in all bloody –
"Uh… Lily?" Ro tapped her shoulder. "Look this way."
Ro placed both hands on her friends shoulders and turned her around. Lily's eyes blinked in relief before she realized what was really standing before her.
"Shit," she whispered.
"Welcome," Karl said, walking in front of them, "to chez moi, my humble abode."
The three girls followed Karl inside. The first thing they walked into was the lobby.
"Hello!" a pretty blonde said to them, sitting behind a counter. "My name is Dorene! How may I help you!"
"Uh…" Ro said, blinking. Why is everything so clean and sparkly? Good thing it's all beige and not white, or else I'd be blinded by now. "A pair of sunglasses?"
"I'm sorry!" Dorene said, her face never changing from the same smile. "We don't have any sunglasses to give you! Is there anything else I help you with!"
"Uh… are you always so perky and do you always speak with exclamation points?" Lily asked.
"I don't know! Do you want me to check if I'm perky!" Dorene asked, smiling widely at Lily.
"Uh, no, thank you," Lily said quickly, backing away from the slightly frightening young woman.
"Dorene is going to be helping you all keep to the routine for the next two months," Karl said dismissingly, leading the three girls who, by now, were edging away from Dorene, into the next room.
"Okay," Karl said, clapping his hands together. "I'm going to have to keep a record on how well you all are doing, so," he said, gesturing to the empty room. "This is where I'm going to measure every single part of your body and keep it on record. Then we can set goals and different riff raff like that.
"All right, I want you all to stand in a line with your legs shoulder width apart, arms dangling loosely. Good, good," he said when they all, although a little confused, got in place. "Stay right there."
And then he walked out of the room, the door closing behind him.
"Uh…" Kirst whispered. "What's supposed to happen?"
"No idea," Ro whispered back. "Though it does look like he's going to – "
"Hello, ladies!" Karl's voice suddenly blared into the room from an unknown location. "Now, just stand still, and the laser will scan you!"
"Laser?" Lily said, looking around.
Suddenly, a flat layer of pink laser came soaring towards them from the ceiling. It flowed over them all at the same time slowly, stopping at random intervals and zooming up a few inches to rescan a certain part. Ro thought it was kind of like being in the copy machine.
They all flushed as the laser had to rescan their chest regions – thrice – before moving on.
The pink laser beam sank into the floor. They all relaxed until another flat layer of pink laser came sailing towards them, this time from the wall in front. This time, though, the layer was vertical. They all froze again as it swept over and disappeared in the wall behind them.
The door banged open, and Karl came through, beaming widely.
"Pink?" Kirst asked as Karl led them through the next door.
"Aren't you, like, completely in love with it?" Karl exclaimed in what could have been a manly squeal. They continued into the next room, which was empty of anything but a large oval table with seats all around it. Karl took the seat at the head and the three girls sat beside him.
"Okay," Karl said, opening a folder they hadn't noticed him holding before. Inside were three sheets of completely flat paper. He left the folder open with the sheets facing down next to him, before placing the first sheet down between them all.
"Kirst," Karl said, pointing at the tiny diagram. All three realised with a jolt that it was a perfect miniature drawing of Kirst. "You need to work on those thighs and your waist. Your skin still needs something to clean all those blackheads on your neck. And your fake tan is diminishing! Darling, don't you know how long it took me before to get that perfect tan of yours?" Karl said exasperated, turning to Kirst. "You might as well have not come!"
"Well, I'm sorry," Kirst teased. "A trip to your clinic was my fifteenth birthday present, so I put it to good use!"
Ro and Lily stared at them both. No wonder… She had come back into fifth year looking pretty and perfect, not that she wasn't a looker before then…
"Hmpf," Karl snorted, before going back to her paper. "Okay. Those are the biggest problems I see, physically at least. Your target size is a double zero."
Lily stared at Karl. Kirst is already a size two… she doesn't need to shrink even more!
Karl saw her staring, and he smiled toothily back at her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to starve a perfectly good body," he said. Lily nodded, hiding a disbelieving look.
"Romanda, darling," Karl said, replacing the sheet on the table with Ro's and giving Kirst her sheet. "We need to get rid of that tummy."
Ro flushed.
"And your style is somewhat conservative. We're going to have to change that… all of you," he said, looking significantly at Lily and handing Ro her sheet to examine.
"Your target size is a one," he said before taking the last sheet from the folder and placing it on the table. Lily gulped and leaned forward, a hardened look on her face.
"Lily…" Karl said, looking over her stats critically. "We're going to have to work on your posture and your skin. The rest of your body, too, actually." Lily blushed – she was a size four, which was a perfectly good size in her opinion. Suddenly, Karl's fingers had snatched her chin and turned her face towards him. Her wide, surprised eyes gazed back at him before he nodded and let go.
"Honey, you've got beautiful eyes and hair. It would be stupid of me to let that beauty go to waste. It's been a long time since I've worked on an actual redhead."
Lily blushed again, and snatched her sheet from him. She had a feeling she was not going to be getting many compliments from this particular person.
Suddenly, her eyes went wide and she rushed over to Ro's side, poking her while she continued to stare down at her paper. Ro turned a confused look at her.
"What?" Ro asked, peering over at Lily's paper. Kirst noticed their little huddle and hurried over to join them. Lily pointed at a particular place on her paper.
"He's got the exact measurement of our boobs!" she hissed frantically. "Degrees of angles and curves and everything! Sizes, too!"
Ro and Kirst widened their eyes and looked back down on their piece of paper. All three girls developed a flush on their cheeks.
"Oh, my God," Kirst whispered as she examined her measurements. "My right boob's bigger than my left one!" All three girls blushed an even deeper shade of red.
"Alright, everyone," Karl announced, clapping his hands. All three looked up, eyes averted from his face. He didn't seem to notice their embarrassment as his eyes glittered and he said, "It's time to get started."
(A/N: So... Did you all like that?)