I am soooo sorry for the long wait! Things have been a little hectic around here lately. College starts back tomorrow, and my boyfriend had been sick. I can't really write when he stays home from work. Not that he disapproves of my fanfictions, it's just that I need peace and quiet to write. Please forgive me for taking so long!
This chapter is more of a lead in to upcoming events, but I hope you still enjoy it. I promise more action is coming. Thank you all so much for your follows/reviews/favorites! I never dreamed that this many people would be interested in my story. It was originally going to be a one shot, but the story just continued to develop over time and I couldn't leave it alone. Thank you all so much for deciding to read it! I couldn't be happier with all of the kind words and encouragement I've received. Thank you so, so much!
By the way, I've been asked if it's okay to share my story on tumblr, and yes! I would love it if you guys liked the story so much that you wanted to share it. All I ask is that you give me credit.
Please read and enjoy!
Eren, Armin. Wait for me, I'm coming. I promise I won't leave you all alone with that despicable man.
Mikasa Ackerman stared out of the grime coated window of the dining hall as she pushed a lumpy substance that was supposed to be breakfast around on her plate. She had given up trying to guess just what the goop was made of long ago. Sure, it was edible, and it served its purpose of giving her enough energy to train, but her appetite had completely left her that evening.
Armin had departed the previous morning, slipping out secretly long before sunrise. Mikasa kicked herself for not keeping a closer eye on the blonde. She hadn't expected him to try and deliver Eren's gift alone. She should have known that he would leave her at the barracks after the way she had reacted the day of Eren's trial. The boy had never seen her so furious, her usual calm demeanor replaced with seething rage at the spectacle that they had witnessed in the courtroom between Lance Corporal Levi and Eren.
Seeing the man nearly kick her adoptive brother to death had awoken a hidden demon within the girl, tendrils of anger unfurling within the deepest core of her being. It was one thing for Eren to intentionally put himself in harm's way and pay dearly for it; but for him to have been tied up and mercilessly beaten like a misbehaved mongrel was more than she could bear. If Armin hadn't been holding her back she surely would have throttled the bastard.
Perhaps the worst part of the entire fiasco had been watching Eren get dragged, nearly unconscious, from the courtroom, away from everything he knew and loved, away from her. She wanted so badly to run to him, to save him like he had once risked his life to do for her. She'd been completely useless to him, the only person that mattered to her in the entire world. Armin had eventually had to pull her, cursing and screaming, out of the courtroom. Who knows what cruel experiments they were going to inflict upon him, what kind of agony he would have to endure. She'd been in tears the rest of that day and well into the night, sleep eluding her as her mind raced with thoughts of vengeance.
I'll kill him, I swear it. I'll stab him, gut him, slit his throat; I'll do anything to save Eren.
Those horrendous thoughts had invaded her over and over until they began to poison her mind. Armin, being the loyal friend that he was, had taken it upon himself to attempt to snap her out of her unhealthy state of mind. He'd found her sulking in bed way past the usual wake up time, her token red scarf wound around her hands as if she had been clutching onto it for dear life.
"Mikasa, you need to wake up. The superiors are looking for you; you know they don't take kindly to truancy."
"I don't care," she replied ruefully, "I won't be staying here much longer anyway. We'll be choosing the division of the military we want to join soon. You already know that I'm planning to join the Scouting Legion so that I can find Eren and look after him. He needs me."
"I know, but do you really think that any branch will want to accept you if you keep acting so obstinate? They want soldiers who follow orders without question, not ones that act purely on their emotions," he stated firmly, concern etched on his delicate features.
"Eren wouldn't want to see you like this, Mikasa. You have a tendency to forget just how strong he is. He's always been the bravest one of us all, and besides, the Scouting Legion values his existence far too much to bring him anymore harm. He could be humanity's last hope against the titans. Besides, I'm sure that Lance Corporal Levi didn't really enjoy kicking Eren, he just kind of had to" he mused, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, forcing a rather fake sounding laugh to try and lighten the mood.
His attempt proved futile, however. Mikasa narrowed her eyes in anger, her mouth becoming a thin, hard line. She clenched the tattered, ragged blanket of her bed tightly in her fists, desperately trying to convince herself that Armin's words rang true, that Eren really wasn't in any immediate danger. As much as she wanted to go to him now, she knew that leaving without permission would result in her hopes of joining the Scouting Legion being crushed as punishment. She thought about how Eren would react to her sulking, surely berating her for acting like such a useless lump because of him.
After a few moments of deliberating, Mikasa finally let out a defeated sigh. Tomorrow they would finally choose what military branch to join and she would be able to see Eren the next day. If she had already waited this long to reunite with him, she supposed she could manage to get though another day. She loosened her tight grip on her scarf and met Armin's concerned gaze with a grateful look.
"Alright. I'll train today. Thank you, Armin."
And so, the day had passed without incident. Luckily her absence from the first morning's training had been overlooked due to her sheer brilliance and battle prowess. It certainly wasn't fair treatment considering any other soldier that failed to show for any mandatory drills would have been punished without a second thought. It was convenient, however, so she decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. She had finished her training early, as per usual, and retired to the dining hall for the evening's meal.
Her sleep had been restless, and she had awoken an hour before she was expected to. That was when she had found Armin's note, explaining his reasons for departing without her, complete with apologies and promises to make it up to her later. It should have made her furious, that one of her best friends since childhood would have the audacity to leave her behind when he knew just how much she missed her adoptive brother. She should have been seething with rage that Armin had lied to her, promised to wake her in the morning should he decide to deliver Eren's gifts personally. It really should have bothered her that her friend had been a total hypocrite, convincing her to be obedient and stay put until they chose their divisions while he himself had other plans.
However, she couldn't bring herself to be angry that morning. Depressed and lethargic perhaps, but not angry. The only thoughts in her mind while she pushed around the mush on her plate were of the choice that the entire 104th training squad would have to face that very evening.
How is Armin going to choose his division if he isn't even present at the ceremony? Maybe he's going to speak to Commander Erwin personally? I wish I could have gone as well. Perhaps he was right in assuming that I couldn't handle seeing Eren without trying to steal him away from that man's clutches.
Lost in her thoughts, Mikasa hardly noticed when Connie, Jean, and Sasha entered the dining hall and took the empty seats at her table. When she continued to gaze out of the dirty window without acknowledging their presence, the others exchanged uneasy glances. Always hating those awkward silences, Connie was the one who finally initiated a conversation.
"Hey Mikasa! Must be something really interesting out there, huh? See any titans? Heh heh," he joked, a fake grin and equally fake laughter following.
The raven haired girl regarded him with a completely apathetic stare, her eyes shifting across the table to acknowledge Jean and Sasha. Jean's cheeks colored a bit under her gaze while Sasha gave a small wave before enthusiastically scarfing down her breakfast. There was another awkward silence before she spoke.
"No, there are no titans here. We are inside of the walls," she replied stiffly, her tone devoid of any emotion.
Inside of these accursed walls, and Eren is outside attempting to rid the world of the titans while we hide from them like sheep.
She knew Connie's statement had been a (rather terrible) attempt at humor, but she was clearly not in the mood for jokes. The boy flinched a bit at her unamused tone before pretending to busy himself with his food. Jean shot him an annoyed look before kicking the other male's leg under the table.
Way to go, Connie. You pissed her off.
The girl was hard enough to approach without Connie screwing up one of the few conversations he would probably ever get the chance to have with her. It was time to change the subject.
"So, I guess we get to choose divisions tonight, huh?" Jean hastily blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I suppose you're going to join the Scouting Legion, eh Mikasa? I guess you'll be attending the ceremony led by Commander Erwin then," He gave her a genuine smile, trying his best to lighten the mood, if only a little.
Mikasa gave a small nod, her eyes fixated on her plate while she pushed around the mush once again. It wasn't much of an answer, but an answer nonetheless. Jean grasped the thin string of conversation he'd managed to initiate and continued on.
"I'm not entirely sure which division to choose, myself. I know I've had plenty of time to think about it, but still. It's a life changing decision, and I'm no good with decisions. I always end up regretting them. I wish I could be as confident in my choice as you and Armin are in yours."
Mikasa's mood seemed to darken at the mention of her friend's name, and he instantly regretted bringing up the blonde. He'd found out about Armin's little journey the previous day, when he'd inquired about the blonde's whereabouts due to his mysterious absence from the morning's training. They had all been shocked by the contents of the note he'd left behind. Jean had been absolutely livid about the situation because they were all made to believe that Eren's gift would be delivered to him after the ceremony.
It was also incredibly strange that the blonde had decided to go alone. Everyone in the 104th training squad, and most of the higher ups, knew that Armin, Mikasa and Eren were a trio, and had been since childhood. After Eren's trial and subsequent acceptance into the Scouting Legion, Armin and Mikasa had become nearly inseparable. It was almost if their bond had become even deeper due to the loss of their mutual friend. One was never seen without the other, save for in the evenings when males and females were forced to bunk in separate barracks. It was quite odd that Armin would go anywhere without her as his companion.
Perhaps that was the reason why Mikasa had been distant and aloof for the past twenty four hours. At first Jean had assumed that she had been aware of Armin's plans. It seemed so out of character for the two of them not to share such information with one another. The vague note that the blonde had left behind hadn't answered any questions, save for the reason that he left Mikasa behind. He knew the girl better than anyone (besides Eren) and he'd known that she would have surely attempted to recapture him. As much as they missed the boy, they simply could not take him away from his duties. Deep down Mikasa knew that joining the Scouting Legion was something that Eren had dreamed of since childhood, and that she would feel simply awful for crushing said dreams. However, that still didn't change the fact that she felt a bit betrayed.
The real question was, why did Armin find it necessary to make such a long, arduous journey just to deliver a basket of goodies? It made absolutely no sense. Surely there must have been a motive, some hidden agenda that the blonde had neglected to share with the rest of them. To make matters worse, he was supposed to have returned that evening. Mikasa had been worried sick until word finally arrived via a letter from Corporal Levi himself that explained his whereabouts. It had been extremely vague, however, not stating the reason that Armin had decided to stay at the castle, only that he was in their custody and therefore safe.
It hadn't been addressed to Mikasa, but she had been made aware of Armin's circumstances by their commanding officer. She was the closest thing to family that the boy had, and therefore all news concerning his welfare was reported directly to her. Normally she would have rushed to his side at once, however, since the ceremony for choosing divisions was that very evening, and she would be attending the one for the Scouting Legion anyway, she decided that her best course of action would be to simply wait until nightfall.
I must be strong. I will see them again, I swear it. Everything will be decided tonight.
Eren raced down the stairs and into the dining hall, narrowly avoiding knocking over several fellow trainees in his haste. He wasn't entirely sure why he was in such a hurry; Armin certainly wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Perhaps it was because he was in no mood for stopping to shoot the breeze. Unfortunately for him, Auruo, Erd, Gunter and Mike spotted him before he could make it to his destination. He froze in place as they attempted to strike up a conversation.
"Oi! Look who it is! Eren Jaeger, the wonder boy! How are you this fine morning, wonder boy? Heard you got into a bit of trouble last night," Auruo shouted from his seat at the corner dining table. The other men seated around him let out a chuckle at the nickname, causing Eren to furrow his thick brows in annoyance. Erd seemed to take note of Eren's displeasure and playfully punched Auruo in the arm.
"Don't mind this guy, Eren. He's just a bitter old coot, aren't you, Auruo?"
Auruo rubbed his arm and let out a chuckle. "True, true. Say, speaking of the truth, is it true that Corporal Levi had to save you once again? What's up with that? Surely humanity's last hope against the titans can handle one assassin by himself. Explain to me how we're supposed to believe in you when you can't even kill one man?" The other men around the table looked expectantly at Eren, waiting for his explanation.
Eren clenched his hands by his sides in anger. Just when he had begun to try and forget last night's events, to try and move on with his life, there were these idiots here to remind him of his shortcomings. He was practically shaking with rage. He knew, deep down, that they had every right to question him. If he was going to be the key to retaking Wall Maria and wiping out the titans, he had to prove himself not only to the Corporal, but to his handpicked soldiers as well. It certainly didn't bode well for humanity if its so called savior couldn't even take down one man threatening Armin's life. He tried to think of an explanation, a valid excuse to satisfy their doubts.
"I…," Eren began, his voice trembling with anger and uncertainty, "he took Armin hostage…he was holding a knife to his throat…if I had tried to make a move he would have killed my best friend."
The explanation didn't seem to satisfy Auruo, however, as he waved his hands in a dismissive gesture. "Yeah, so we've heard. That didn't stop you from being able to turn into a titan though, so why didn't you?"
Eren cast his gaze downward in shame. It wasn't as if he hadn't considered transforming, in fact it had been the first thing that had popped into his mind when he saw Armin's life being threatened. It wasn't that he couldn't transform, rather that he wasn't entirely sure that he could control himself once he did.
"I…because…I can't really control it yet and I didn't want to risk hurting Armin," he confessed, clenching and unclenching his fists in shame and anger. He knew admitting to the others that he was unable to fully control himself in titan form was a bad idea, however he just couldn't bear the thought of his fellow squad mates calling him a coward for not taking action.
Auruo crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow in question. "Oh? So, not only do you expect us to trust a brat who's not even old enough to drink, you also expect us to blindly follow a ticking time bomb who can't control his powers?"
"No, but I do," a familiar, masculine voice cut into the conversation suddenly. All eyes turned to Levi as he strode up to the table, arms crossed and usual apathetic expression on his face. Eren spun around to face him, his ocean colored eyes wide with surprise. The men seated at the table immediately saluted their Corporal as he stopped to stand beside Eren, a look of displeasure crossing his features as he looked upon his squad. All of them flinched under his gaze and immediately began to offer their apologies.
"C-Corporal Levi! We meant no disrespect, sir! Please forgive us!" Auruo pleaded, bowing and looking rather pathetic. The other men seated at the table followed suit, eliciting an irritated sigh from Levi. He hated sniveling, groveling, and pleading, especially when it was coming from his own men. "I'll overlook it this time. Go make yourselves useful for once and start cleaning this place up. Once you finish that you can do whatever you like for the rest of the day, as long as it doesn't involve badgering Eren, understood?"
The men let out a unanimous "Yes sir!" before scrambling to get up from the table to collect the cleaning supplies. Once they were out of sight Levi turned his attention towards Eren, who was looking rather downtrodden. The brunette lowered his gaze, his brown hair falling in front of his face as let out an exasperated sigh.
"Well, looks like you saved me again, Corporal. I apologize," Eren said with a self deprecating laugh, "seems like you've been doing a lot of that lately. Maybe I'm really not cut out for being humanity's savior after all." He slumped his shoulders a bit in defeat, eyes still fixated on the floor.
Levi regarded him with an irritated look, complete with his signature scowl. "Look brat, don't start acting like you're completely helpless because I know you aren't. Stop feeling sorry for yourself over things you cannot change. Do you honestly think I would have accepted a helpless imbecile into my personal squad?"
Eren hesitantly met Levi's steel grey eyes with his own. There seemed to be a hint of some hidden emotion behind that stern expression but Eren couldn't quite place exactly what it was. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind as self doubt and despair began to overtake him.
"But they're right, I can't control my titan, and I don't know if I ever will. What good am I if you guys can't rely on me and trust me not to kill you?" His voice was quivering with trepidation. He hated feeling sorry for himself, but damn it, how could he not? Everything that Auruo said had been true. As he began to sink into a bout of self pity he felt a rough thump on his forehead. He looked up and saw that Levi had flicked him like one would a younger brother when they were being stubborn.
"Ow, what was that for?" he asked, rubbing the afflicted area. If anything he had expected the Corporal to just walk away, or punch him to snap him out of his depression. He certainly hadn't been expecting a forehead thump from his commanding officer.
"Because you're being a shitty brat. I promised you that we would find a way to hone your powers, did I not? If I thought you were incapable of ever controlling your titan, do you think I would risk my squad's life and my own by taking you in? No. So shut the hell up about such trivial things and just trust in yourself and my judgment," his expression returned to its normal neutral state as he continued, "now, finish whatever the hell you were doing down here in the first place and go do something productive with the rest of your day."
With that, Levi stalked out of the dining room through the main entrance of the castle, leaving a very bewildered Eren in his wake. As he continued to rub the spot on his forehead Eren mentally kicked himself for not remembering to apologize to Levi for the previous night's events. He'd completely forgotten about what had transpired in the Corporal's office as soon as Auruo had begun antagonizing him. On top of that, he'd let the Corporal walk away without so much as a thank you for defending his honor. He already owed the man so much, and it seemed like his debts just kept piling up.
He made a mental note to track Levi down later and try to redeem himself.
Now that he could move unhindered through the dining hall Eren fetched a glass of water from the kitchens and ascended the stairs, retracing his steps until he was back in Armin's room. The blonde was currently slumped over a wooden bucket, head in his hands as he tried to force the retching to stop. Eren kneeled beside his friend and offered the fresh water.
"Armin, here. You need to stay hydrated since you've been puking your guts out all morning. Try to drink this," he said softly, doing his best not to be too loud so as not to worsen the boy's throbbing headache. Armin peered at him over the rim of the bucket before nodding and taking the cup into one trembling hand.
"Th-thanks, Eren," he replied hoarsely, his voice strained from the exertion. He tentatively took a tiny sip of the cool liquid, relishing the soothing effect it seemed to have on his ravaged throat. He greedily gulped down the remaining amount, wiping a few droplets off of his mouth with his sleeve and heaving a sigh of relief. Eren gave him a reassuring smile and a pat on the back.
"Feeling any better?"
Armin rubbed his temples and sighed once again.
"Ugh…a little. My head finally stopped throbbing and I ran out of stuff to throw up, so I guess that's a good thing," Armin replied, running a hand through his bedraggled golden locks. "I swear I'm never going to drink again for as long as I live." A look of determination crossed his exhausted features before he rested his head on his hands and looked up at Eren, tears beginning to form in the corners of his sapphire eyes.
"Eren…I'm so sorry that you had to see me like this. I should have never touched that wine. It was your present, and I shouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place. I'm sure I said some stupid stuff to you last night. I'm really sorry that I burdened you with my drunken self. You didn't have to stick around and take care of me, I certainly didn't deserve it. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for," he said, a few tears falling unbidden from his tired eyes. Eren just shook his head and pulled the blonde into a friendly embrace, taking care not to jostle him too much.
"Armin, I could never just abandon you like that. And stop saying you're a burden, it isn't true. I tried to tell you that last night, but…"he trailed off a bit, regretting his implication that Armin had been too shit faced to remember anything said the previous evening. "Anyway, please stop blaming yourself for what happened, it's no one's fault. I don't want to hear anymore about it, ok? So let's just put it behind us and try to get on with our lives."
Armin pulled back away from the hug, sniffling and wiping tears from his face. He nodded and gave a tired smile. He slowly tried to rise to his feet, wobbling a bit and using Eren's shoulder for support before finally steadying himself. He plopped down onto the edge of the bed, swaying a bit as his head swam from the sudden movement before focusing his attention back on Eren. The brunette joined him on bed, kicking his feet back and forth to occupy himself as the blonde gathered his thoughts. It was a few minutes before Armin finally broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them.
"Oh! Eren, I almost forgot to tell you, tonight is the night that everyone will be deciding what military division to join. Mikasa and I are going to try for the Scouting Legion of course. That is, if they still want me here after all that's happened, haha," Armin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a bit of pink dusting his cheeks. Eren's eyes widened in surprise.
"I completely forgot about that. I wonder who else is considering joining the Scouting Legion? It doesn't seem to be a very popular choice these days, but I really think that everyone in our squad has what it takes to make it outside of the walls," he said, a fond smile appearing on his lips as he thought of his comrades. Armin's expression darkened a bit and he heaved a sigh.
"Maybe, I just don't know if any of them are willing to risk everything for humanity's sake without hesitation like you, Eren. To be honest, I don't think any of them besides Mikasa have the courage to face the titans on their own turf. We can only hope that they choose to join the only division that's made any progress in trying to understand the titans and find a way to eliminate them."
Eren's hopeful spirit wasn't deterred by Armin's statements. It only served to strengthen his resolve and his belief that the Scouting Legion would be the key to defeating the titans. Whether his comrades held the same belief mattered little, although he secretly hoped that at least some of them did.
"Do you think Jean will end up joining the Military Police like he'd planned?" Eren asked, leaning back on his hands and studying the ceiling. It was looking a little worse for wear, cobwebs and crumbling stone making up a large area of its surface. Armin let out a small chuckle.
"I suppose so. He seemed so dead set on it; I can't imagine why he'd change his mind. Annie said that she was planning to join them too. It's kind of a shame, with her hand to hand combat skills she could quickly climb the ranks of the Legion without even trying. I guess the Military Police need recruits too, even though after the way they treated you in the courtroom I think even less of them than I did before."
Eren frowned a little.
"Ah, yeah. People tend to fear what they don't understand, Armin. I don't even understand myself, so how can I expect others to?" Eren's brow furrowed as the same self doubt from earlier began to creep into the edges of his mind. Armin's face contorted with anger at Eren's self depreciating words.
"That's still no reason to try and shoot you! They're idiots! Stupid sheep that can't see how amazing you are! They called you a monster! They deserve to be shut down!" Armin replied, exasperation evident in his voice as he gave his friend a pained look. Eren flinched a bit at the volume of Armin's voice, now practically a shout.
"Armin, calm down. They are stupid sheep, yes, but there's nothing we can do to change that besides show them that they're wrong, and I intend to do just that," he replied, confidence beginning to build within him. Armin nodded and a ghost of a smile appeared on his lips.
"Still, I didn't think they'd stoop so low as to send an assassin after me. Then there's the question of why he decided to attack you instead," Eren scrunched his face, thinking out loud and mentally kicking himself for bringing up the very subject he'd told Armin to forget just moments before.
The blonde didn't seem to mind, his gaze once again fixed on the dusty ceiling. He looked thoughtful for a moment before replying, "I don't know, Eren. Maybe it wasn't the Military Police that sent him. Think about it, why would they risk jeopardizing their esteemed reputation for a petty act of revenge? I don't think this was the work of the Military Police, or at least not the entire division. They're way too cautious for that. I think the assassination attempt might have been orchestrated by a select few members, if anything."
Eren contemplated this for a moment. "That sounds believable, I guess. I would hope that they don't all want me dead," he replied, forcing a laugh to lighten the mood. It didn't seem to work, but Armin appreciated the gesture. The blonde figured a change of subject was the next best course of action.
"There's something else I forgot to tell you yesterday. It's part of the reason I decided to come here. Well, and to deliver your present, of course," he added hastily, trying not to imply that seeing Eren wasn't a good enough reason to travel so far. Eren just nodded and waited for his friend to continue. "There's been some…unsettling rumors going around lately, mainly amongst the refugees of Wall Maria. I didn't catch all the details, but apparently there's been talk of cult activities going on within the walls."
Confusion flickered across Eren's face as he tried to make sense of the information. "A cult? You mean those weirdos that worship the walls? They've been around for a while now."
Armin shook his head vehemently. "No, they aren't about the wall religion. The rumors say this cult is just now emerging and that they may be up something. Some refugees went missing a few nights ago without a trace. The more extreme belief is that the cult has been sacrificing people to the titans, but it's pretty much a baseless rumor right now. No conclusive evidence has been found." When the blonde finished his sentence Eren looked at his friend as if he'd grown a second head.
"Wow, that's…disturbing. Why would anyone sacrifice other people to the titans? That's just insane," Eren said, his tone incredulous. It was beyond his comprehension why anyone in their right mind would willingly watch another human being get devoured by those monsters. Watching his own mother get eaten before his very eyes had been traumatizing enough and he couldn't imagine anyone taking pleasure in the sight. He was pulled from his thoughts, however, when Armin began to sway on the spot.
"Armin! Are you okay?" He caught blonde before he tumbled from the bed. "I think you need to get some rest. We can talk about this more later, okay?"
Armin began to protest before a wave of nausea hit him and he laid back, nodding hesitantly. "Yeah…I guess. I'm sorry, Eren. Will you promise to wake me up before the ceremony tonight?"
Eren smiled softly. "Of course. I'll be around, so don't worry and get some sleep. I'll come check on you in a few hours." Armin was already drifting off as he mumbled a reply.
Eren rose from his spot on the bed and stalked out of the room quietly, making sure not to slam the door as he departed.
Time to find the Corporal and apologize for everything.
Levi had made his way to the stables around noon, not particularly hungry enough to bother eating lunch with the rest of his squad. He sought peace and quiet, a place to collect his thoughts, and he certainly wasn't going to find it in a dining hall full of rowdy soldiers. He walked the familiar path to Onyx's stall, hearing the stallion's familiar nicker from a distance. When he arrived in front of the stall he was greeted by a very excited Onyx, who wasted no time in sniffing his master's hands in search of a treat. Levi chuckled a bit at the display.
"Is that all I'm good for, bringing you a midday snack?" He patted Onyx's nose, the feel of the soft velvety texture under his fingers having a calming effect. He pulled half of an apple out of his pocket and fed it to the eagerly awaiting horse, who crunched it up greedily. After Onyx finished the snack Levi put a halter over his nose and ears, buckling it in place before opening the stall and leading him out. He tied the lead rope to a nearby post and collected some grooming supplies from the store room.
It was customary for Levi to brush all the grass, twigs and tangles out of the horse's mane and tail after every ride. After their little excursion through the forest the day before there was much work to be done to make Onyx look presentable. Levi would have brushed him sooner, however he'd had the whole assassin matter to deal with.
Levi heaved a weary sigh as he began to run a brush through the tangles of Onyx's tail. They were making no progress with the man. It wouldn't have been quite as infuriating if he'd just refused to talk, but often times he acted as if he had no clue what had transpired that day. Whether he was faking it or if he actually had some kind of amnesia due to his wounds Levi couldn't say. All he knew was that his patience was wearing incredibly thin and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep himself from strangling the lunatic to death. If he had been a lesser man the stress of it all would have likely driven him to drink.
However, Levi had given up alcohol long ago. He had learned that it brought nothing but misery upon the drinker and those around him. He wasn't one to drown his sorrows. He would rather face them head on and find a healthy way to cope, a way that wouldn't interfere with his judgment. He'd found solace in spending time with Onyx, and that had become his coping mechanism ever since. The horse needed human interaction, to be shown that not all people were like the man that Levi had rescued him from. They were alike in that they had both been broken before, and only recently started to become whole once again.
Onyx nibbled on a patch of grass by the wooden post, not paying Levi any attention. He'd been less than agreeable the first few times Levi had attempted to brush him, but now it was routine. After a few minutes of brushing, the leaves and twigs in Onyx's tail dislodged themselves and fell to the ground next to his hooves. Levi continued to brush it until the raven hair became silky smooth.
Onyx only stopped his munching long enough to look up and nicker at someone approaching from behind. Levi stiffened, his expression turning from delightfully peaceful to annoyed as soon as he heard the sound of footsteps.
Damn it, just when I was finally starting to relax. It better not be Hanj, I told her not to disturb me until this evening.
He didn't bother looking back before replying, continuing to brush Onyx.
"Whoever it is, if it isn't important, leave. I'm off duty until this evening."
A familiar boyish voice answered him. "Um…Corporal? Sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to you about something. Don't worry, it isn't work related."
Levi glanced out of the corner of his eye and spotted Eren standing a few feet behind him, hand over his heart in salute as he bowed. Levi rolled his eyes a bit. Normally he'd be proud that one of his recruits was showing him respect, but right now he felt nothing but agitation at the gesture.
"Drop the formalities, Jaeger. Neither of us are on duty. I thought I told you to go find something productive to do. I fail to see how this is productive. Now, what is it that you need to say to me?" Levi asked, cleaning the hair and debris from the brush and not giving Eren a second glance. The brunette relaxed his stance back to normal as he approached Levi cautiously; ready to run if it looked like the Corporal was getting annoyed.
"Well…I, um…that is…err…" he stumbled over his words, stuttering and searching for the courage to say his piece. This only served to irritate Levi, and he turned to face the brunette with a scowl on his face. He was about to berate the boy for wasting his time until he saw the pitiful Eren was giving him. His cheeks were flushed and he was fisting the fabric of his pants in nervousness. Levi's expression softened as he heaved out a sigh.
"Spit it out, brat. If you want to say something, say it. I'm not in the mood for violence today so you're safe," he replied in a tired voice, rubbing his temples with one hand.
Eren took that as the signal to keep talking before Levi grew tired of listening. He gathered his courage before finally confessing. "I just wanted to apologize for last night, sir. I should never have spoken to you that way. I was out of line in my speech and my actions, and I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." As he finished his sentence Eren clenched his fists at his sides, knuckles turning white from the effort. He bit his lip and cast his gaze downward, readying himself for the Corporal's reply.
Levi raised one thin eyebrow and crossed his arms, tossing the brush he'd been holding into a bucket resting in the stall.
"Oh? You're telling me that you regret your actions and you want to beg for my forgiveness, is that it?" Eren nodded slowly and he continued, "Well, I hate to disappoint you Jaeger, but I've already decided on a punishment befitting your insubordination."
Eren winced a bit at the statement. He should have expected this kind of reaction, but that didn't make accepting it any easier.
"Of course, sir. Whatever punishment you see fit to dole out is fine with me. I deserve it, after all," he replied decisively, closing his eyes as if he were about to take a heavy blow. Levi wasn't really all that upset with the boy for his actions the previous night, but it was certainly fun to pretend.
"Very well. Your punishment is to listen to Hanji talk about titans for the rest of the evening," he replied, his serious expression not matching the playfulness of his words. Eren forced open one eye, looking at the Corporal with uncertainty, as if the statement was just a joke to disarm him and the real punishment would come when he least expected it. After a moment of nothing happening, he opened the other eye and gave Levi quizzical look.
"Um…sir? Are you serious?" he asked, his turquoise eyes growing comically wide.
Levi rolled his own steel grey eyes before shooting Eren an annoyed look. "No, brat. It was a joke. I wouldn't wish that woman on my worst enemy."
"Oh," was the only thing Eren could think to say.
Was the Corporal telling a joke? I must be losing it.
When Levi saw the dumbfounded look on Eren's face he decided to ease the boy's troubled mind by explaining despite his inner protests that this was an utter waste of time.
"Look, do you honestly think that you're the first underling that has spoken to me in a disrespectful way? As much as it would benefit the military if soldiers were trained dogs that never talked back and obeyed without question, that simply isn't the case. Humans are not dogs, we have a higher cognitive ability which unfortunately often results in letting our emotions outweigh our logical thinking. Besides, a soldier that never questions orders is a soldier that never thinks for themselves, and that kind of soldier is of no use to me."
Eren mulled over the Corporal's words, letting them sink in slowly. He just couldn't accept being let off that easily, however. Whether he was a masochist, or he was just feeling extremely guilty, he couldn't be sure.
"But if I hadn't disobeyed you this never would have happened!" he protested, a look of inner turmoil appearing on his features.
"Perhaps not, however I do believe that the assassin would have found you either way," Levi replied, patting Onyx on the nose and looking at Eren out of the corner of his eye.
"But at least Armin wouldn't have been involved," Eren said, his voice tembling,"If it had just been me I could have turned into a titan and-" he was cut off by a stern look from Levi.
"You would have killed him and possibly many innocents along with him."
"But I-" Eren continued, despite the glare it earned him.
"Jaeger." Levi said in a low warning tone. It wasn't enough to stop the boy's rant, however.
"Armin got hurt and it's all my fault. I shouldn't have-"
"Jaeger."
"And the way I threw myself at you in your office…I'm a complete disgrace…"
"Jaeger."
"You probably think I'm disgusting-"
"Eren."
The mention of his first name gave Eren pause. He stared in disbelief at Levi, whose eyes were narrowed in anger. For perhaps the first time in his life, Eren was completely speechless.
Did I hear him correctly? Did he just call me Eren? Not Jaeger, or shitty brat? I must be delusional.
Sorry to leave it in such a weird spot. I promise it won't be as long for the next chapter to come out. Hope you enjoyed! Please review when you get a chance!