Hey guys! I have a pretty long chapter for you today, a couple POV'S at once. I hope you can follow along because the story skips around a bit. Just so you know, I may be starting a new job that is full time, so my updating may struggle a bit since I do my writing at night and the job starts early. So, if that happens, I have prepared by giving you this chapter.
Chapter 11, When ghosts come back to haunt you...
Naomi POV
I wake up to the smell of fresh snow. At least, that's what I think it is. It doesn't snow much here, but there is a distinct difference between the smell of rain and snow. Rain leaves the air heavy and humid, whereas snow gives the air a sharp crisp to it, and smells of clarity. I squint my eyes at the clock, 4h 30. Great. The ass crack of dawn means I have a long day ahead of me. I lie on my back for a few minutes and just stare at the ceiling. I run my view over the stucco and eventually start to make patterns with my eyes. To the left, a dog. To the right, a spoon. In the center, a bell. I do this quite often, when something is on my mind that's so big I can't even think about it. It's like there's no room in there or something.
I talked to my therapist about Emily yesterday. It was suggested to me that I am stuck for one of two reasons, either I am still in love with her, or I feel incredibly guilty about the way things ended up and hate myself for it. I opted for the latter. Still, I can't think clearly so I roll over on my side to reach my dresser, and turn on my iPod. I press random and roll back onto my back, while the gentle beat fills the room.
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end...
I remember this song. It was played a lot on the radio back when I was in college. Katie used to play it all the time. Incidentally, it ended up on my iPod because of Effy, I accidentally sync'd her playlist one day. Effy has... interesting taste in music. She's been getting into a lot of American metal lately, I came into the flat one day and some woman was screaming at the top of her lungs while Effy danced along in the kitchen making herself some boiled eggs and toast. I had to laugh at the sight while plugging my ears, and I got a little nervous because there were families in our building and they aren't shy to complaining.
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"Eff! Hey Ef! Shit, you might want to turn that down, yeah? People might complain!"
Blood! Blood! Blood!
Pump mud through my veins
Shut your dirty, dirty mouth
I'm not that easy
"Tis the point of loud music Naoms, we won't be able to hear 'em comlaining!" She screamed with a smile on her lips.
Blood! Blood! Blood!
Pump mud through my veins
I'm a dirty, dirty girl
I want it filthy
"I know but, I quite like our flat!" I shout, at this point the combination of screaming from both the song and myself is starting to make my head throb
"You're such a spoil sport Naomi!" She shouts, and then shakes her head "Just let me finish this song, alright?"
Thank fuck. Although I hope the song ends soon, I don't know how much I can take. She finally turned the song off and was in a... interesting mood. I could tell, because she kept glancing over at me as if going to say something, but she never does. So I got irritated and asked her what her problem was.
"Well? Spit it out Stonem"
She looked at me and tried to 'look' her way out of it, but I wasn't budging. So she finally gave up and began "Do you ever see the Fitches anywhere?"
Why the hell?
"What? No. Why"
"No reason..." She shrugs
"Effy..." I needed a full explanation for this one.
She sighs. "I just, I've been thinking about Katie lately..."
I was floored. I didn't think she ever gave a second thought about her. "Okay..."
"I miss her"
What the fuck, Effy.
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I was lost in thought about that day when something snapped me out of my thoughts. I look over to my window and see a lapwig on my windowsill, just staring at me. It was the weirdest thing; I didn't even move a muscle. It was as if my body reacted to it like it was a dinosaur, no, sudden, movements I thought. And just like that, it was gone. As if I had just stood up and smacked the window, which didn't happen. Fucking hell.
I need to do something. Yes, I am attending therapy, but I need to get out into the world and just. Be. I don't know how to explain it. So I decided to go for a walk. I threw on a hoodie and topped it off with my jean jacket, and put on some fingerless gloves and a toque. It was relaxing actually. I could hear the crunching beneath my feet and watch the smoke that would form out of my mouth when I breathed out. I didn't know where I was going, and I ended up on the top of this hill in a park that overlooked midtown. There was a vacant bench nearby and I thought why not. So I sat down and watched the sunrise. The sky turned from a dark blue to a gentle green hue, then to pink. I hear a couple clicks from behind me followed by crunching, which can only mean footsteps. So I turn around sharply and startled the girl behind me. She was dressed in a long black wool jacket, with some leather accents on the elbows and shoulders. It's got zippers in random places, and two huge collars that jet out from her neck. She has a beanie on that looks a little too big for her head, with some kind of white calligraphy on it; and really bright grey eyes. She looks sheepish and begins to say something.
"Hi, I'm sorry for… I hope you don't mind, you just looked so…"
"Sorry for what?" I asked
"Taking your picture"
You did what?!
"Uhm…" I begin
"Here, I'll show you what I mean"
She comes over, sits on the bench next to me and places her camera between us. She lights up the screen and the pictures she shows me are really beautiful. There's one where my silhouette is blurry and you can see the brightness of the city in front me, with the stars still halfway owning the sky with the pink sun struggling for full control. There is another one close up of the side of my face, my eyes extraordinarily bright blue; looking at the horizon. She shows me a few more, but I'm distracted because she smells lightly of a perfume I had forgotten about years ago.
"The… they're beautiful" I manage to squeak out
She perks up "So I can keep them?"
"On one condition" I say.
"Name it"
"You don't use them to wank off to, okay?" She laughs at this and shakes her head.
"My girlfriend says that all the time, that's such an odd word"
"Well, your accent is odd, so I guess that makes you the perpetrator"
She smiles as if she remembers this moment, somehow. "…That it does. What are you doing here alone so early?"
Under normal circumstances I would have told her to fuck off, but considering I needed to talk and she wasn't from around here, I decided to tell her everything. I told her how I was feeling, what I was thinking, what I was doing. She took it all in and nodded along with me, and she would occasionally squeeze my shoulder for comfort. She didn't watch me talk, which I was thankful for. She just took in the scenery and listened to me. I felt a hell of a lot better and I think she sensed it. So she saw an opening and took it.
"It sounds to me like you've changed. That you're actually trying to be a better you, and that's a noble thing. It's time to let go and see that you are doing great by not allowing yourself to make the same mistakes, hurting people."
She takes a deep breath "Just give yourself a break, okay?"
I nod in agreement and give her a small smile so she knows that I have appreciated her advice. I was surprised by her response; I would have expected her to call me an asshole or something. But she didn't, she just commended me on making an effort to better myself. It was very kind. So she smiles back and we just sit there, watching the sun finally win its war with the stars and light up the sky. Then a question crosses my mind.
"Why are YOU up this early, alone, without your girlfriend and in another country?" Wow Naomi. Way to be nosey.
She looks over at me and checks off my questions one by one. "I'm actually up late, seeing as how London is 5 hours ahead, my girlfriend is at her family's house because she hasn't seen them in a while and her mother is homophobic, and I followed her here because I love her and wanted adventure"
I nod again, and we continue our silence. Until she perks up and says "You should meet her, you'd love her! Come over for dinner"
I smile playfully at her, and say "Inviting someone you've never met over to your flat? Did no one teach you about stranger danger?"
"Yes, that's why I learned mixed martial arts" she shrugs
"…Oh"
She laughs "We should have it all unpacked by the weekend. Why don't you give me your number and I'll text you?"
I reluctantly hand over my phone fuck it I think. I can bring Effy with me. She writes my number on her hand with a sharpie and I look at her and point my eyebrows up at her. She gets the hint and says "What? It's all I've got okay?"
"No cellphone?"
"I had to cancel it"
I nod "Right"
"I'll text you, okay?"
"Alright" I give her a nod and wave goodbye, and then I remember something so I stand up to shout after her "Oh, hey!"
She turns. "Thank you, for well… you know"
"No problem" She smiles, and turns back around to walk away. She has her camera in her hands and is still taking pictures as she walks, and I turn back around to look at the sky while listening to the gentle sound of the crunching snow get further and further away.
Yay me, I made a new friend.
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Emily POV
"What do you mean you invited a friend over for dinner? We've barely been here 72 hours!" I laugh
"She just seemed so sad! Besides, you'll like her. I promise"
"Fine" I give up "Is this something I've got to expect now being with you? Bringing strays home every time I let you out alone?"
"Yees" She says, in a tone like a little cartoon of a Mexican bean.
I shake my head and kiss her "Dork"
"You love it" She smiles into the kiss
"Yeah, I know."
"Oh, wait" I say, a light bulb going off in my head "What did you say her name was?"
She looks at me, and turns her lips to the side, as if trying to kiss someone next to her without moving her face.
"Well?" I say
"I uh, forgot to ask…"
"You've GOT to be joking"
She just shrugs and gives me a small smile, and it makes me laugh. 10 years from now and we'll probably have like a million stray dogs and cats living with us because of her.
We spent the rest of that week unpacking, I visited my family and September hung out with Katie a few times. I hadn't proposed to September yet, because we had bigger things that popped up over Katie's visit that needed attending to. Plus, I wanted to do it here, in the UK. Kind of like a fuck you to everything it's thrown at me. I know I said I'd gotten over Naomi, but the truth is, I haven't. So, I bought a ring and made a plan to propose here so I can finally tell the universe to shove it. I had made up my mind, and this was going to fix everything. Katie was excited when I told her, and I'm surprised she hasn't spilled the beans about it yet.
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1 month previous
"Em?"
"Yeah Katie"
"Can we talk a moment?"
"Sure" I say, while placing some knick knacks in a box and wrapping up another in newspaper "What's up?"
"Let's go in the kitchen, I'll make tea" She says. Whatever, I could use a break.
We head into the kitchen and I sit at the table while Katie puts the kettle on. September is out getting Katie some new pillow cases, because she smeared lipstick all over the other ones and we can't seem to wash them out. So Katie is standing at the sink and looks as if she is contemplating something. I'm not one to push, so I just sit there and wait. Eventually the kettle goes off and she brings over two steaming mugs and sits down. She blows a bit on her tea before she takes a sip, and then decides she wants to begin with whatever this is. She really acts weird now that we've grown up. It's like me moving away made us closer, and her not being able to have kids knocked her off her pedestal.
"So, like, there have been weird things going on with me"
"Oh?" I say
"Yeah. I think that girls are starting to hit on me"
I fight back a snort "So? What's that got to do with you?"
"I think… maybe… I don't know. I might like it"
Well that's not surprising.
"So what, Katie? You and I both know that you love the attention"
"Not like that bitch! I mean… I notice things about girls now. Like their eye color, the smoothness of their skin, the gentle pink color of their li-"
I spit out my tea and startled the shit out of my twin
What the fuck Katie?!
"Whoa bitch, you spit tea on me!"
"Did you just say that you're finding girls ATTRACTIVE?!"
"Well…" Her voice small now "A little… I don't know what to do Ems!"
"So kiss a girl, see if you like it" September is back, and must have heard a bit of our conversation, because she is peeking her head into the kitchen with a cheeky grin on her face and a plastic bag in her hand.
"What?!" Katie shouts "I can't do that! They'll think I'm a lezza!"
"Who will?" September asks, looking confused
"Apparently, all the fit blokes in England" I say, sighing as I do so.
"No! I just… I'm not gay!"
"Katie…" I start "Kissing a girl doesn't automatically make you gay. Lots of girls try it. Besides, Effy tried it back in college, d'you remember how cool you thought she was? You never know. It could make you popular" I say sarcastically.
"Fuck off" Katie says back to me
"We'll take you to a gay bar then, its settled" September suggests.
"That's an awesome idea! Then we can sit back and assess the situation with Katie to get an accurate reading on her through our gay-dar guns!" I'm amused now, and actually starting to like the idea.
"Well… I guess I could get a couple free drinks out of it…" Katie reasons.
"We'll go to Gingers!" I pipe in. The place is quiet enough that I'll be able to eavesdrop, and it's definitely the kind of atmosphere that my loud mouthed twin will have a hard time getting used to. Win, win for me.
We arrive at the bar around 9, and let me just say; Katie was dressed for attention. She wore one of her infamous leopard print blouses and some tight black leggings, with high heeled leather boots that reached up to just before her knees. They had big buckles on the sides and she matched it up with big, chunky jewelry and smoky eye makeup. September and I giggled at her efforts, because let's face it. Katie is Katie and it amuses us how into-attention she is.
She got propositioned a lot that night, by all kinds of girls. But at one point, a girl in a big rolling stones t-shirt being used as a dress oddly familiar… came up to her and challenged Katie to a game of pool. Well, me and September watched in awe as this girl got Katie to work it, she struggled with that pool cue and I couldn't help but be disappointed. All those year driving stick and you can't even use a pool cue? Shame on you, Katie.
The biggest shock of the night though? Katie snogged that girl! Right in front of everyone! I couldn't believe it, but September just laughed her face off at it. When I asked her why she said "They all turn at some point or another" referring to straight girls. I playfully shoved her and shook my head at her while doing my best to hold back a smile.
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So today is Saturday, and September managed to set up a time for our mystery girl to come over for dinner using my phone. It was quite amusing actually, seeing her struggle with the touch tone keypad. "Fuck me, I hate touchscreen" She says.
She helped make dinner with me, and even ran out to get some extra ingredients we needed. She never complains, and always does the sweetest things, which makes me feel guiltier for these feelings I still harbour for Naomi. It will all go away when I propose I thought. Dinner is ready, and we are sitting on the couch together snuggled up watching some old black and white movie when the doorbell rings. September's face lights up and she jumps to her feet before kissing the top of my head and skips over to greet our guest. She gets really excited when she makes new friends. I hear the girl and her exchange hellos at the door, so I straighten out my top before heading to the foyer to meet her. Then, in that moment, my whole world comes crashing down around me and I feel as if I am falling through a hole filled with screaming demons and hot coals; I think I'm about to faint.
"Emily?" She croaks
"...Naomi"
Oooooooh, monster cliff hanger! I hope you enjoyed :) It took me a while to write because I had writers block for a bit. But, as you can see, I managed! And as always my darlings, let me know what you think :)
Much love,
Violet