I Touch Myself
"You really know how to take care of a guy." Tom smiled
He and Jeff were enjoying Tom's favorite dinner. Buffalo-style chicken wings, extra hot.
"This is just like how my ma makes... how'd you know?"
"Teresa was a lotta help." Jeff had taken to Tom's adoptive mother real fast. After the first few bumps, their relationship had bloomed. It wasn't where they could ask her to be matron of honor at their wedding, but that was still a long ways away.
"Gotta love my mommy." Tom answered, grabbing one of the wings just dripping with sauce. He stuck the entire thing into his mouth, hollowed both his cheeks, and sucked all the meat off the bone, pulling the bone out with a seductive look on his face.
"Nuh-uh..." Jeff read Tom's intention perfectly. "Tonight it's all about you."
"Dude, if you make me any more relaxed, I'm gonna fall apart." Tom stretched, and for the first time in forever, nothing cracked. "See?"
"Finish your dinner. I got desert for you."
"Desert... you're kidding!" Tom belched softly. "I don't think I could eat another mouthful."
"Don't worry... this is a non-fattening desert." Jeff went into the fridge and removed a bowl of strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate syrup and caramel.
"Non-fattening?" Tom repeated
"Well, for me maybe." Jeff answered "You remember that incredible phone sex we had the other night?"
Tom's eyes widened.
"And how you wanted to know how your Enigma would taste covered in Strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce? I was thinking that tonight, if you wanted to, you could find out."
"Mmm..." Tom licked the last traces of the hot sauce from his mouth. "I dunno if that'll cool me off or heat me up more. Those wings were potent."
"Help me clear off and we'll find out."
Tom swept the dishes onto the floor with one flick of his arm. "How's that?"
"I guess." Jeff stepped over the broken dishware and got the berries and cream from the counter. He set them in a row next to Tom before quickly removing his shirt and pants.
"Where do you want me?" Jeff asked, wetting his own lips in anticipation.
"Right here." Tom plopped Jeff down on the table, and grabbed the tube of whipped topping. Shaking it well, he quickly covered Jeff's chest with it.
"Already looking good enough to eat." He sprayed a little dollop on his finger and covered the tip of Jeff's nose with it.
"That tickles!" Jeff squirmed a little.
"Shhh.." Tom flicked his tongue against Jeff's nose, cleanly removing the sweet treat from it.
He next drizzled the chocolate sauce down the middle of Jeff's stomach, then took a strawberry. Tom breathed on it seductively, then dragged the tip of it across Jeff's body, coating it with chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
"Open wide."
"But..." Jeff wasn't expecting to receive any of this.
"First one is for you my love." Tom dropped the fruit into Jeff's open mouth. While he chewed, Tom prepared his own dessert.
"And now one for me." Tom slowly licked the cream from the berry, then held the smaller end between his lips. Sucking loudly, he drew the entire strawberry into his mouth with a loud pop.
Tom alternated between himself and Jeff until all the berries were gone. Then he cleaned the rest of Jeff's chest with his tongue, paying special attention to his nipples.
Jeff groaned, wondering exactly where he'd lost control of the situation. He had counted on being the sweet course, but he figured that once the fruit was gone, he and Tom could make love, as opposed to the frenzy of sex they usually had. But not only was Tom taking the role of aggressor again, Jeff was responding a lot faster than he wanted to.
"Tommy, wait, please?" He begged
Tom stopped licking the remnants of cream from Jeff. "Am I going too fast?" he asked
"Tonight is supposed to be about you." Jeff answered, taking several even breaths to slow his racing heartbeat. "And you're doing alll the work."
"So?" Tom asked "I like giving you pleasure."
"Tommy, it's about you. Now Imma gonna clean the stickiness off, then Imma gonna make love to you." Jeff rolled off the table. "You're not doing anything."
Tom smiled sweetly. "Jeffers, you've done enough for me. The bath, the massage, the dinner and dessert."
"Tommy, shh!" Jeff placed his finger across Tom's lips. "On the bed, now!" He pointed sharply.
"As you command, master." Tom saluted a la John Cena and stepped into their sleeping quarters. It was also done up like something out of the Arabian Nights, Flowing curtains, flowers, and a magnum of Champagne chilling in a bucket next to the bed were just a few of the improvements Jeff had made.
"Wow!" Tom whistled
"You like?" A pair of slender hands snaked around Tom's waist and a stubbly chin scratched his shoulder.
"How long have you been planning this?" Tom asked
"Long enough. Now move you!" A shove and Tom fell face first on the bed.
"Mmph!" The pillow broke Tom's fall. He tried to stand, but soon felt a familiar weight on his back, tugging his shirt up and over his shoulder blades.
"I already had a massage." Tom said
"I think they missed a few spots." Jeff kissed the back of Tom's neck and down his spine.
Tom attempted to turn over, but Jeff pinned him down. "Don't move." He was commanded
Any tension that remained in his back and neck was soon released through Jeff's caresses. Tom groaned and tried to roll again, but Jeff was insistent. "I said don't move." He repeated, slapping Tom's ass.
"Bro, if I don't move, something's gonna break." Tom mumbled "I am so fuckin' hard right now..."
Jeff smiled. He loved making his fiance feel good.
"Okay, I'll let you move this time..." he teased
Tom rolled onto his back, and stared deeply into Jeff's eyes, a tear forming in one of his.
"Did I hurt you?" Jeff asked, concerned.
"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, I have never been more in love with anyone or anything as I am with you right now." Tom wiped the moisture from his eye. "It's just dust or somethin'."
"Bullshit, lover." Jeff leaned over and caught Tom's mouth with his own. Tom tried returning the kiss with as much force as he usually did, but when he applied more pressure, Jeff suddenly pulled back.
"What?" Tom asked innocently.
"Tommy, if you don't relax and let me take control tonight, Imma gonna cuddle Bunny instead of ya." Jeff crossed his arms, looking seriously angry.
"I'm sorry." Tom tried his best impression of Jeff's pout. "Imma be good."
"I know it's hard being the sub, but Imma not gonna hurt ya." Jeff promised
"I trust you. Asking me to give up control is like asking the sun not to rise." It took several deep breaths, but eventually Jeff felt Tom's entire body relax.
"Imma gonna make you feel sooooo good." He promised, tugging Tom's belt off and throwing it beside the bed. "You won't be able to stand for a week."
"A week!" Tom exclaimed "What exactly are you planning to do... let Mark and Glen double me?"
"Maybe." Jeff grinned
"Over Matty's dead body!" Tom propped up on his elbows. "You can fuck me 'till forever, but I am not giving up my ass to either of those behemoths, much less both of them at the same time!"
"Tommy, it doesn't hurt as much as you'd think!" Jeff answered
"Somehow, I don't think Shane and Shannon are comparable." Tom leaned back when the two behemoths in question did not mysteriously appear in the boudoir.
"I was kidding."
"I'm not." Tom stated gruffly.
"You know, you're spoiling the mood." Now it was Jeff's turn to sulk. "I try to do something nice for ya and you act like this!"
"Here we go again." Silently, Tom cursed himself. Yet again, his mouth hadn't listened to his brain. By the time Tom had berated himself, Jeff had thrown his robe on and stormed out of the room.
"Jeffers... come back. I'm sorry." He apologized again. "Please?"
He heard the sound of a door open and then slam.
"Jeffers?" Tom asked "You still there?"
Silence.
"Jeff?" Alarmed, Tom quickly jumped off the bed and ran into the living room slash Arabian Nights fantasy. Everything was just as they'd left it, but the hair on the back of his neck was standing straight up. If he was a certain superhero, his Spider-sense would be off the meter.
Instinctively, Tom reached into his pocket. Feeling his change, he grabbed a couple of quarters and slipped them between his fingers, fashioning a quick pair of knucks. To his immediately relief, he saw Jeff standing at the door with another man. His heart thumped nervously. Who was Jeff talking to?
Immediately, Tom went on the defensive, lest Jeff be unknowingly talking to the Spade or one of his henchmen. Tom was still not convinced whether this was a solo job or not. Priority number one was keeping himself and Jeff safe.
"Just business. I apologize, but this is nothing personal."
"What do you... ulp!"
Tom's worst fears were realized when a pair of hands wrapped around Jeff's throat and started squeezing.
"Eep!"
"Why you little..." Tom raced across the room and jumped into the fray.
"Awesome... I'll take care of both of you at the same time." Jeff went flying across the room, landing crookedly across one of the lounges, sending candles and a stuffed animal flying.
Tom swung crazily. Normally he would've taken more time to line up his punches, but he was running on pure adrenaline.
"You suck, Hardy!" With one punch, Tom sailed across the room as well.
"That's exactly why Jeff is mine!" Tom hit the wall, but jumped right up. "Whoever the hell you are, this ends now!"
Tom flew across the room, tackling the dark-hooded man. He punched his face several more times; hearing cracking noises made him happy.
"Stop!" His conscience yelled at him. "You've already killed two people in your lifetime!"
Tom shook the attacker furiously. When he was satisfied that he'd done his damage, he let him fall to the ground.
"Tommmeeeeeee." Tom wheeled at the sound of his name being groaned.
"Jeffykins... are you okay my little man?"
"I got an owie." Jeff pointed to his wrist. It was swollen, obviously either sprained or broken.
"Let me take a look at it." Tom held Jeff's arm and pressed ever-so-softly on the most swollen area. Jeff whimpered.
"Let's go. We're gonna get that looked at."
"Okay." Jeff prepared himself for another visit to the hospital. "Tommy...."
"What?" Tom turned around and right away realized that two things were wrong with the situation. The first was that their attacker wasn't as out cold as he'd hoped since he was standing right in front of him. The second thing was that he wasn't unarmed, and this became painfully obvious when a knife swung through the air.
Purely out of reflex, Tom put up his arm to shield him. Reflecting later, it was probably not the smartest thing to do since the knife went right through his forearm and out the other side. But once again, instinct kicked in and Tom swung his other hand in the direction of the guy's face.
This time, he connected with a lot more force, or at least he hoped it was enough to keep this guy down.
"Dammit Jeffers, I must be losing my touch." He said
"Tommy, I.... augh!" Jeff screamed when he saw the knife still wedged in his boyfriend's arm.
"Shhh... don't wanna wake up the neighbors." Tom patted Jeff's good arm with his own.
"Is he dead?" Jeff cuddled close to Tom, carefully avoiding their injuries.
"I don't think so. " Tom cast a wary eye in his direction. "Why'd you even open the door for him?"
I dunno." Jeff sulked "I thought maybe you'd ordered room service while I was cleaning up."
"After that meal we had... how could you think we'd need more food?" Tom asked back.
"Alright, I'm sorry... I didn't think, okay. I fucked up again!" Jeff shouted, on the verge of tears.
This time, Tom did the right thing. "Jefffrey Nero Hardy, if you don't stop always saying you're a fuck-up, people are gonna start believing you. Now if you wouldn't mind removing your good hand from between my legs, we should probably get this jackass outta here."
"But my hand likes your cock!" Jeff protested
"And my cock likes your hand. But we'll have plenty of time later." Tom reached for the phone on the nightstand.
...
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered in the sight of these witnesses to join these two men in the union of holy matrimony."
The Imagi-nation compound was packed with members of Jeff and Tom's immediate and WWE families, friends, and even a few fans.
"It is with great devotion and courage of their characters that we are standing here today, watching them take the next step in their relationship..."
The celebrant's voice droned into the background while Tom lost himself in Jeff's eyes. After everything that had happened in their lives, from the moment they met until now, he knew that he was with the person he'd spend the rest of his life with. Their wrestling careers was another story. Jeff had not said anything to Tom about his contract, and after their debacle with the Spade, they'd been too busy planning their dream wedding, buying their first home together, and preparing to start their lives as a family to care. Tom realized that he didn't need Jeff twenty-four seven. It would make their time together even more special.
"...and if there is anyone who knows of a reason why these two should not be joined in the union of holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
"Or rest in peace..." Mark mumbled, still trying to get comfortable in his tux. With Shane still suffering post-concussion syndrome, Jeff had approached Mark about standing in as one of his Groomsmen. Shannon, standing beside him, chuckled.
"Was that a yes?"
Shannon immediately became aware that everyone was staring at him.
"Sorry... something got caught in my throat."
"Okay... do you have the rings?"
Matt came forward with two rings, very similar to the other ones, but with the stones cut into heart-shapes.
"Now Repeat after me... I, Jeffrey Nero Hardy..."
"I, Jeffrey Nero Hardy..."
"Take this man to be my husband."
"Take this man to be my husband." All Jeff needed was to raise his hand and one might think he was taking the oath of office.
"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live."
"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live." Jeff repeated, his voice getting softer and his eyes getting wetter.
Jeff slipped the ring on Tom's finger.
"I, Andrew Thomas Baker..."
"I, Andrew Thomas Baker..."
"Take this man to be my husband."
"Take this man to be my husband." Tom repeated it as solemnly as Jeff had.
"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live."
"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live."
"For what these two have joined under God, let no man tear asunder. I know pronounce you man and man... you may now kiss your spouse."
The crowd erupted in cheers as Tom and Jeff shared their first kiss as newlyweds.
"And now, if they will sign the register."
Once Jeff and Tom had signed the book and had many pictures taken of them...
"Friends, family, and acquaintances, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you Mr Andrew and Jeff Baker."
"We did it, Jeffers." Tom stole another kiss, much to the delight of the attendees.
The reception dinner went well. It was catered by one of the many companies the WWE used to keep the wrestlers well-fed, so the food was nothing really fancy, but the booze flowed freely. Tom and Jeff had decided not to go with an open bar, but at two bucks a ticket, everyone was getting really liquored up. Hopefully, Jeff did keep his clothes on, at least until after the party was over.
Before people got really fuckin' drunk, it was time for the required speeches. Teresa, Shannon, and even Mr. McMahon spoke about Tom and Jeff's relationship. It was kinda weird seeing Vince, who'd had a few, actually speak without it having anything to do with work.
"The WWE is a family." He said "Even though I have a family of my own, who tend to cause more problems than they're worth, I still like to consider myself a father figure to the people who work for me. Which is why I am so honoured that Jeff and Tom asked me to speak today, neither of their fathers being here today..."
Vince droned on for the next five minutes, telling a few anecdotes about the first time he'd met Jeff and Tom and how he'd witnessed their relationship grow.
"This is embarrassing." Jeff whispered
"I know. Just wait until Matt's speaks." Tom answered
"I thought we agreed not to let him." Jeff groaned
"C'mon, he's blood. How much worse can it get?"
"To Jeff and Tom... many happy years together."
Everyone toasted.
"At least he didn't mention your contract." Tom nibbled Jeff's ear gently.
"And now, the best for last... me." Matt said "Tommy, Jeffro, you guys have been through a lot and I'm really glad that you finally have found happiness. I'm sorry if this sounds weird, but this morning as we were leaving, the last thing I said to myself is 'don't forget your speech'. Well, the last thing I did was forget my speech."
Laughter.
"And it was a good speech, I'll admit, but right now I can't remember a damn word of it." Matt tugged his collar. "Anyway, I'll keep it short since I know everyone wants to drink some more and dance the night away. I wish to propose the final toast of the evening... simply, to love!"
"To love." The crowd intoned.
"The bar will be open all night... let's party!" Mart jived off the stage, allowing the DJ to take over.
"For the first song this evening, may we have the happy couple on the dance floor."
Hand in hand, Tom and Jeff walked out, looking so fine in their matching tuxedos.
"If these weren't rentals, we could have a tuxedo match later tonight." Jeff giggled.
"Leave it to you to think of something like that." Tom twirled Jeff around.
"I picked it. I hope you don't mind." Jeff looked into Tom's eyes.
It was "Prayer '94": an acoustic version of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer".
Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Unions been on strike
Hes down on his luck...its tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love - for love
She says we've got to hold on to what we've got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - well give it a shot
Whooah, were half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and well make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer...
"It's perfect, dude." Tommy and Jeff danced to the soothing melody of the song. "Just like you."
"Aww." Jeff buried his head in Tom's shoulder. Their dancing was a little awkward with Jeff's wrist and Tom's forearm still healing from the last attacks by the Spade, but I don't think anybody minded. "I wish tonight would never end." He sighed
"Me too. But we've got our whole lives together." Tom answered
"mmm..." Jeff swayed to the music, burying himself deeply into Tom's chest. "But what if I decide not to be a Superstar anymore?"
"Baby, I don't care what you decide to do... right now, you're the only thing that matters to me. Now, shhhhh, let's dance."
The dance floor started to fill up, but to the new couple, they could have been the only people in the whole hall. Nothing was going to spoil this moment. They were Living on A Prayer!
The End.
Epilogue to follow!