A day or so later I was finally feeling better. I hadn't really kept count of the hours with my head on the floor of the bathroom just lying there resting loving the cold of the tiles in the bathroom. As soon as I was feeling better I called and checked with Mike.

"How are you?"

"I'm feeling better. Thanks Bella. I'm sorry our date had to be interrupted."

"No, its okay, just whenever you have time ask your parents to come on over and let you pick up your car."

"Okay. So do you want to reschedule our date?" Should I tell him? No, I couldn't be that mean. At lest I didn't ignore him like some girls did when they didn't want to hang around a guy. At least I didn't avoid him. He was a good friend when you got to know him. –the author of this is snickering right now b/c that's all Bella ever did mwahaha irony-

"Maybe another time we can hang out," I replied very subtly not using the word date. "Though I think I may be busy some, we both have homework to make up for today you know."

"Oh yeah," he replied somberly. "But maybe we can work on it together."

"Sure," I replied. "Hey Mike."

"Yeah?"

"Just want you to know. You're a good guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. You're a really great friend."

"Thanks Bella… you know you were never as nice when Edward was around. I mean you were nice in the mysterious sort of way but he never let you out of his site. I kind of wanted to see if he was forcing you into not seeing your friends… but it's nice to have you back and to finally be getting to know you."

"You too. Bye Mike."

"Bye Bella."

I called Jacob feeling a little better with Mike now. Jacob picked up but he didn't sound quite himself than again he'd probably gotten sick after I did.

"Hello?"

"Jake! You sound horrible! I'm sorry I made you go out with me," I cried exasperated.

"Its okay. No matter what I have to say last night was my best night ever. I finally got the girl I always wanted," he replied with a dry laugh.

"You'll get better soon. I was sick and I'm fine now."

"You got sick last night? I probably don't have the same thing you did."

"You don't have the stomach flu? Do you want me to drop on bye?"

"No thanks," he rushed in to say. "This is something else… Bella, you can't come here," he said abruptly and then slowly added, "At the moment. I'll call you when I'm feeling better."

"Promise," I breathed, "You're my… my boyfriend now. I'm going to worry about you until you do."

I could practically see Jacob's smile on the other line as he got out a small laugh. "Don't miss me too much. Bye Bella." And then he was gone.

And like the normal courtship of all couples came the moment after bagging the fox on the long awaited chase. It was time to let the fox stew. Jacob didn't call. After all of pursuit he'd gone through to get me he didn't call me for 2 days. I tried calling him of course, the position of the chaser being reversed now, and every time Billy answered telling me that Jacob was still sick in bed. I didn't believe him when he wouldn't let Jacob on the phone. I waited for the week, calling everyday, and then Saturday I sped off for his house but they were nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was at the hospital? I called in rather than stopped by. I wasn't a stalker.

And then one day while Charlie was cleaning the dishes he told me that Jacob had mono and Harry Clearwater was sick.

"That's odd how can he have gotten mono?"

"Maybe he has a girlfriend he's been sucking face with," replied Charlie.

"But I don't have mono," I replied.

"Why would you think you had mono when…" Charlie's figure froze.

"Um… I am his girlfriend dad." The plates slipped through his fingers crashing into the sink and breaking. I was scared for my life but most of all for Jake's. Charlie had a gun, a police car, and a pad of tickets he could make out. What was he going to do to Jacob? "It's not like we're serious or anything! Um… dad are you okay?"

……………………………………….

…………………silence…………….

………awkward…….. silence………

….somewhere off a grasshopper gets his head bitten off by a spider……………

……..the Volturi look at my website upset that I haven't updated it in 3 hours….

……Edward ponders what to write in his next email………… to me……..

………………Mike Newton steals outside behind my bushes taking pictures of me because I'm the hottest girl at the school obviously…………………….

……….Tyler is parked down the road thinking of hitting my car or drugging me into dating him………………………… Jessica sticks a pin in a voodoo doll of me…….

……..and I remain oblivious of all of this…………………………………

…………………..and Charlie finally breathes…………………………..

………………….and the spider is squished……………………………….

"Dad. Charlie? Are you going to be okay?" I reached out and touched Charlie's shoulder. He spun around and wrapped his arms around me enthusiastically. "Um… dad?"

"I'm so happy for you Bella!"

"Is this about all those years you and Billy were busy trying to arrange our marriage?"

Charlie chuckled. "Bella I'm just happy to see that you've gotten over cloud head."

"Cloud head?" I was defensive on this issue and shrugged out of Charlie's embrace.

"If he was too stupid to have you in his life than what sense does that boy have? I think Jake's got a straight head on him. He won't let you go… now about this mono thing have you kissed him a month prior to him getting this?" I didn't answer. It was for the pictures. And like hell I was going to tell Charlie that. He would end up in the hospital with Harry Clearwater. And I'd be attending Jake's funeral for giving me the idea.

"I'd rather not answer."

"Just be a good girl and drink your fluids," replied Charlie awkwardly. "And don't let him get past your lips on your face."

"Dad. Can we skip this conversation?"

"I'd be much obliged if we did."

"Okay how about those bottom nosed dolphins?"

Finally 1 day when I called Billy picked up and told me that Jacob wasn't in. "So he's feeluing better?"

"Yeah, it wasn't mono. Just a different type of virus."

"Where is he?" I felt alittle hurt that he hadn't called though I had lived out the past week with my friends. I wasn't completely worthless. Shopping with Angela, talking with Jessica, talking with Mike who still thought he had a chance with me though I was waiting for the right time to talk to him about Jacob though we were on even better terms than ever before because of our talk when we'd gotten sick. "He's with some friends at Port Angeles…. Is there something you wanted?"

"Yeah… just to tell him that his girlfriend is glad he's feeling better and wants to hang out with him soon," I said all too soon grasping onto the words Jacob had seemed to cherish. There was silence on the end of the line as Billy took that in.

"Girlfriend? Who? You and Jake?!"

"Yeah. Dad was far too excited about that when I told him. See you Billy." And I hung up. Maybe Jacob changed his mind and didn't like me anymore. Maybe he'd realized that after he'd gotten over his sickness. I sighed. He was supposed to keep his promise. "Men," I hissed stomping my foot angrily, "they are idiots."

I tried to think of something to do and decided to brave the wilderness and go out into the woods with a map to find the meadow. And a camera in my cute hiking clothes, Daisy Duke shorts, and cute braids. What did guys love most? A girl ready to get dirty. Those perverts.

Luckily I wasn't a complete idiot. After having gone to the meadow a million times with Edward I couldn't forget how to get there. I'd be an idiot if I had spaced out and focused entirely on him. I was a woman and I could multitask.

I stood there in the meadow thinking of the perfect place to put the camera, probably on a convenient boulder nearby. It was odd how things that you needed most appeared so easily. Maybe my life is a book, I thought to myself. Everything just comes in at the right time. As I glanced behind my back I almost jumped a foot in the air at a motionless figure that stood watching me like a predator…. Or maybe my life wasn't in a book.

Usually I wouldn't be stupid and just stand there staring at people who I didn't recognize and were of the opposite sex and incredibly intimidating but this person screamed recognition. He was a vampire. That I actually knew. How could I forget him? "Laurent! Hello!" I cried waving my hand at him like a complete idiot. Laurent looked so much the same it was as if he hadn't changed at all. Though I wasn't at all surprised like some girls, he was a corpse so there wasn't much changing he could do.

"Bella?"

"You remember?"

"No, I just recognized you from your website," he responded with a grin that made me blush to my hairline. Great.

"Want to pose for some pictures to bring my ratings up?" I asked with a dry laugh. Awkward……

"So you came back to Forks?"

"I do live here." He cocked his head to the side.

"The Cullens are gone though?… aren't you their pet? Or at least Edward's pet?" From his tone I could sense a perverted double meaning to the word "pet." Then like an idiot I noticed his eyes last. Why had I noticed them last? What bonehead doesn't look at someone they haven't seen in forever? Oh that would be me. I'm a bonehead. He's hungry. I took a step back though I knew I couldn't outrun him.

I heard a voice in my head that growled. Great I was hearing him again. Go away Edward! I don't need you! Yes you do! You big beautiful human idiot! Lie or I'll beat your ass! You left me. Then I'll come back and beat your ass. Now lie. You're rude. You're a sexy idiot. Now lie like OJ on trial. –author note: no disrespect intended to Oj just a funny comment my cousins make all the time-

"Oh, they visit often. Then again Edward can't keep away from me. You have seen my website. Why would he keep away from me?" Bella I'm not that big of a pervert to make you do that crap on the internet. You didn't like it? I found you sexy to be honest but that's not to be discussed right now. Right now we discuss your mortal life nor your mortal charms. Lie better.

"Funny I didn't see any pictures of him on the website."

"Well he might've been killed by other vampires if he became public with his pictures wouldn't he?"

"So how's that bitch Victoria?" Bella just don't talk anymore. Just stand still and look pretty. I'm going to go get my body and tell myself to come over there beat you silly and kill him. He didn't like her that much from what I recall Edward. Well we change Bella just like humans. You don't have to tell me that, I thought bitterly. I'm not going to respond to that. Then shut up. Just because I like your voice doesn't mean I want to hear it in my head. I don't want to be crazy within the last moments of my life.

"Bella I was talking to you," replied Laurent.

"Sorry I keep hearing a voice inside my head," I replied honestly, "and its being a friggin pansy and won't shut up."

"I came here as a favor for her. She wanted me to kill you… not only did you kill James but your internet ratings are higher than hers… though I will have to apologize to her."

"About what?"

"She wanted to use you on her site with her to raise her ratings. And afterwards she'd kill you so you would die having secured her position on the internet."

"You're both sick! Just sick! To think I'd die bringing up her ratings you're sick!"

"But you see I'm very hungry right now. In more ways than 1. And I am a subscriber to your website," he growled menacingly. Edward growled again. Look I can't think straight with you growling in my head so shut up. What good can you talking in my head do? You're going to talk me to death before he kills me right? Just don't move.

"Obviously he wasn't man enough to handle you but I shall," he grinned. Threaten him Bella!

Threaten him with what? My shoe? My website? What exactly can I do Edward?

"He'll know it was you."

"No he won't, your blood will wash away when it rains. Don't worry I'll be gentle with you Bella. First I shall put a smile on that face and then I shall devour you! It's nothing personal Bella. Just feeding the animal needs."

"Its rape. That isn't exactly a need," I hissed angrily. "Then you'll eat me. You've got one twisted soul! Get away from me! NOW!"

Beg Bella.

"Okay… you can have me. I'll wear that nurse uniform if you want. Just don't kill me." Did you really have to bring that into the begging Bella? He's a fan, which is more than you can say. I was your first fan and I want to be your only fan! Will you please stop that crap. I tensed. Ready to bolt in an instance. If I was going to be taken and then eaten like hell I was going to wait for him to get me. I'd fight. I pulled out a taser from my back pocket and Laurent froze. He then began to back away from me fearfully. "That's right! You better run or I'll tase yah!" Wow, did I just find the weakness of all vampires? A giant boulder? No. A car wreck? Nope. A taser? Yup!

"I don't believe it." I turned around and there stood giant wolves easing out of the trees and suddenly my ego went down a notch. Man, and I'd felt badass too.

Don't move Bella.

What did you think I was going to do idiot? Hmm I got two choices run to Laurent or the wolves? I'm not going to run Edward! I'm human not stupid.

The wolves came through the trees in a v just like a pack of jets in formation with one in the lead. They came so close I could reach out if I wanted and touch the closest; a rusty brown wolf that was bigger than me. Okay, there's seriously been something placed in the wolves' water supply and I think it may be steroids. This was something I had to tell Charlie because like PETA I did not approve of abusing natural creatures with drugs. That's when the wolf closest to me turned its head and I remembered the fear that was inside of me… well the wolves I could take if I tried… or ran… ran really fast. But I think Laurent will get them first.

………………………….another grasshopper and cricket died by the hands of a spider………………..they really needed more pestiside……..what was the difference between a cricket and a grasshopper?……….. no one in particular thought these thoughts, an odd aardvark did as it stood wondering what was going on and why he was in Forks?………………..

Then Laurent ran. The wolves ran after him snapping at him and disappearing just as fast as he did. And I was alone. Rather than wait I ran as fast as I could back towards my car shaking as I got in the car but I wasn't going to stall. I disregarded my normal freaking out about the speed limit and raced home…