Disclaimer to title of this story… Marilyn wahoo…

Dreams…

I was at the beach. A sandy white beach taking pictures of myself in my bathing suit, posing for the willing Mike Newton with his new camera. The latest edition in cameras in act. It had eagle eye with its features and also had heat vision… I wondered why Mike had the latest in cameras and he just shrugged and said that it involved one of his hobbies. Then I found some pictures of myself that had been taken in Mike's wallet and they were so good, me in my nightgown at the window stretching, me drinking my coffee in the morning, me bending over to get the mail after I dropped it… that oddly enough I didn't asked. I offered Mike a job taking pictures of me and asked if I could use them for my website.

And then in the dream as I sat on the rocks overlooking the water, a turtle swimming by with a grasshopper riding on its back holding reins that were looped in the turtles mouth, I heard someone call my name, "Bella!" Not just a someone but 2 someone's. Mike dropped the camera and I ran through the water, in slow motion like a shot on Bay Watch in my bathing suit, Mike taking more pictures as I tried to find out how to run like normal. And I ran because I knew whose voices I had heard. Jacob and Edward. I ran through the woods disregarding the tug of the trees on my hair, my skin, and my bikini… disregarding the pain in my feet as I ran towards their voices. And then Jacob was there and he was pulling me back towards the beach trying to get me to turn in the opposite direction. I resisted. I wanted to go into the dark. I had to get Edward out. "Jacob what's wrong? Where's Edward?"

"Run Bella! You have to run," Jacob whispered terrified. I became detached from the dream at that moment. It was as if I was watching a movie starring myself, and my acting wasn't as cardboard as I had feared someone playing me would be… a light suddenly came through the woods like a beacon of hope and the trees opened up a bit like the ones from the Brothers Grimm –a kick butt movie that rocked and played the mystic incredibly well- and I knew Edward had to be coming out of those trees soon. I stood there waiting for him as Jacob tried to pull me away when suddenly he yelped and feel to the ground on his hands and knees shaking and convulsing. "JACOB!"

He wasn't Jacob anymore. He was a gigantic red-brown wolf that could've beaten Emmett and he had dark intelligent eyes that looked back at me and I suddenly knew that it was the same wolf that had chased after Laurent. I reached out and touched his hair running it through my fingers. "Jacob?…"

And then I heard Edward's voice calling out, "Bella." Jacob snarled and launched himself over my head taking after the sound of the voice before I could even see Edward.

I woke up not screaming at the top of my lungs like a scared sniveling girl but shaking with sandess and anger. "Oh Jacob, I'm sorry," I breathed burying my head in my blanket sobbing for Jacob and for the fact that I didn't get to see Edward. I remembered everything and cursed at myself for not catching on earlier and being oblivious to the comments I had made to Jacob that made him probably want to shriek at me, 'You've got it,' when I said Sam sweated like a dog.

"Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from-the Quileutes, I mean?" he asked.

"Noah's Ark," I guessed stupidly trying my imitation of Jessica as I fluttered my eyes and acted stupid.

"No not exactly but we did have floods in our legends… 1 legends claims that we descended from wolves and that the wolves are still our brothers which is why we can't kill them on the reservation.

"Then there's the story about the cold ones…"

"Jessica Stanley?" I guessed.

"No Bella the…"

"WALT DISNEY," I shouted my guess.

"What the hell Bella? Listen to the story… vampires. They were the ones who were enemies of the wolf and our ancestors who could turn into wolves… werewolves as you would call them have only one enemy… vampires."

"That was a nice story," I smiled at Jacob all bubbly thinking about Edward morphed with Lestat the vampire and suddenly thought it nice if Edward were a vampire… "Lets go play tag."

-Subliminal messaging: yes I tell you when there's a subliminal message so your mind is ready to be brainwashed…… grasshoppers will one day rule the world and right now they control the Starbucks company so go and buy more Starbucks coffee!-

"Werewolf," I breathed throwing back the covers from my bed and immediately getting up. I splashed some water on my face, threw on some sweats, a shirt, and headed downstairs.

Suddenly I knew and suddenly it didn't matter anymore. I shouldn't freak out. I wasn't a girl who freaked out. If I could deal with Edward being a vampire what time of idiot would I be to deny Jacob the same rights of being a mythical creature? I had no rights. I'd be a wimpy stupid girl hypocrite if I did that didn't deserve to be Edward's main squeeze or to wipe the crud off of Jacob's shoe! Besides anything and everything weird normally happened to me so I should be used to it. I was just waiting for the day I would give birth to the Lochness monster or happen across a leprechaun. I got up and snuck out of my house thinking to myself how sad it was that my father was the chief of police and couldn't hear me sneaking out of my room not caring that it was incredibly early in the morning.

…….meanwhile within Charlie's room there was a pillow and a bowling ball made up under his covers to pose as his body in case Bella checked up on him. Just 28 miles down the road Charlie was out on the quite peaceful lake fishing with tired Billy at Brokefish Mountain……………………. Billy's thoughts were consumed with sympathy and worry for his son Jacob wondering how he was handling…. Charlie's mind was consumed with Mike Newton's mom and why on earth she had to be married……… a fish ate a grasshopper because now the fish had joined the dark spiders' allegiance…… "You should probably get home soon Charlie. I'm not good company today," breathed a stressful Billy. Charlie turned to Billy in his seat on the boat and nudged his shoulder, "I'm not quitting you," he grinned and handed Billy a beer…… Charlie went back to thinking of Mrs. Newton…………………………

Bella. What the hell do you want?... To be a real boy… and for you to stop speeding… Get out of my head! I'm not crazy and I'm not going to take those pills. You probably shouldn't. He wanted you to take them when you were there with him because they were date rape pills…Edward. Yes? Just stop talking right now. I thought you liked my voice. I do and its incredibly sexy but I wish it were you instead of your voice. If you were inside my head instead of your voice it would be different. I'd molest you. …………Silence…………... Dammit. Wish I had that power.

My stomach dropped as I put on the radio that had a new urgent message for Forks. There'd been another attack. And all signs pointed to wolves. People should be careful, it said, when going out. My throat clutched but I swallowed my stupid thoughts of fear. I'd be a hypocrite. Once a long time ago Edward had drank human blood before he'd changed his ways… maybe Jacob could learn to do the same. Bella I can't read your thoughts but I can hear the radio through your eyes. Are you watching me? I don't know! But just stay away from Jacob! I think he's a werewolf! A little too late to shock me with that bulletine Edward. You know? Should've told me an hour or 2 ago. Why are you up this early? I can't sleep, he said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and told the voice inside my head, "Shut up!"

When I pulled into the yard I saw the house and it appeared like a dark shadow that rested eerily like a warning of what could come. I jumped out of the car and twisted the knob opening the door to see a note left on the fridge for Jacob:

Went fishing with Charlie. You're old enough to order take out on your own. Moneys in the freezer.

-Billy

I stared at the note and rolled my eyes. Charlie had snuck out. What a child, I thought to myself.

I walked into the tiny closet of a room that was Jacob's resting place. He was sleeping deeply and I could see the circles under his eyes and my heart went out to him. Bella get out of there before he wakes up. No! …then at least doodle on his face… please. No! Leave me alone. No!

Jacob snored lightly and whimpered in his dream kicking his leg a few times like a puppy. It was kind of adorable. He looked so innocent and young in his sleep and incredibly tired. I leaned up against him and decided to rest beside him. He wasn't the only one who'd gotten little sleep. We slept for quite some time. My dream was nothing but clouds this time. Clouds, the meadow, and crickets.

"Edward," I breathed sitting in my meadow all by myself. This was the image of me looking dissipated for a moment after he had left me. It was a memory. The glint of anger in my eyes and the immediate sadness were my memories. The small want to kill myself and just be nothing anymore. And then I transformed in my dream. I wasn't Bella anymore but I was. I was a more assured self. Comfortable with myself. Comfortable with the way I looked and not hating myself for my inability to match up with Rosalie. And the person in my dream, the me, didn't care about Rosalie's beauty because she knew she could match Rosalie with her smarts and kindness. The new me knew she didn't need a man though she loved Edward entirely. And she felt ready to see Edward again and make sure he knew she could live on and at the same time she still wanted him in her life…………………………………………… man the girl in my dream was bipolar.