we were walkin cross da skoolgrounds an i saw lots of pepol on crosses.
"if you do someden bad around here den the dumbledoor crucifies you" sed jesus
den i got 2 thinkin.
"hey jesus" i sed "if you invented cristeanity den are you cristin?"
"christeanity? wuz dat" sed jesus "im jewish. (AN:i no i wuz suprised 2!) r dere any odder religons?"
so we kept walkin until we came 2 da dumbledoors door. we waked up da stairs until we came 2 his office.
"why hello mr christ!1" sed the dumbledoor.
"hello proffeser pilot" jesus sed
"wh is dat wit you" he sed
"oh dis boi wants 2 go to our skkol" sed jesus "his name is... WAIT!1 i dont know ur name"
"my name is soulja sprit bu jackson. but u can calll me turtle" i sed
"well turtle" sed jesus "dis is da dumbledoor of da hole skool. professer pumpass pilot"
"thats strange" sed pumpass pilot "we just had a new profeser transfer in. but never mind. we have 2 get u sorted!11"
he tok out da sortin hat an put it on my hed. it sed... GIRFFENDOOR!
"grate dats da house im in" sed jesus
"but sudnt i be in ravencow!?" i sed
"soory da sortin hat has spoken" sed pumpass pilot and he put da hat under his desk. "is dere anyting else u need"
"ya i need a magik wand" i sed
"well here u go" sed pumpass and he gave me a wand
"now you have everthing you need!" sed jesus "we can go 2 da commen room now"
so we wakked 2 da commen room but den i saw dis biiig tower
"hey jesus wuts dat" i sed
"thats were da ravencows live" sed jesus "babel tower"
so we went in2 da commin room
"HEY JESUS" sed a girl an a boi "whos dat with you?" sed da girl
"dis is my new friend turtle" sed jesus "turtle, let me introduce you to my 2 best friends. mary margerin and judas."
"hello turtle" dey both sed
"hello jesus. where have you been all day?" sed a picture at da back of da room. it wuz above da fire place. it was... ABRAHAM LINCON!
"oh im fine" sed jesus "meet my new frend turtle"
"hats off 2 you turtle" sed mr lincon an he tiped his hat.
"why do you have a picture of abraham lincon in ur commen room" i sed
"dont u know? abraham lincon is da father of da jews!" sed jesus
"hahaha" sed mr lincon merrily "u kids run along or ull mis diner"
so we all ran along 2 da great hall.
we sat down at da griffondoor tabel.
"hey i no u" sed judas. i didnt know him.
"wut?" i sed
"yeh i know u" sed judas. den i remembered.
"oh yeah i met u in da future!1" i sed
den professor pilot got up an sed "students i want to introduce u 2 our new student turtle!1 and our new professor who just transferred in... professor snape!"