Author's Note: Okay, I'm trying to be nice about this but I am really pissed and frustrated. First off, I am a huge CARYL SHIPPER. They are my OTP. But my story is a CAROL story with CARTINEZ as the main pairing. DARYL is also a main character. You will see in future chapters he and Carol have major interaction. So as a main character, he is tagged in my story. People are angry about this. I assume they are hardcore Daryl fangirls that can't imagine that Carol would choose someone other than super special shiny unicorn Daryl. I happen to think differently for the purposes of MY STORY. GET IT? MY STORY. Sending me guest reviews to cuss me out and demand I take Daryl off the tag will make be do the exact opposite. How dumbed down do I need to make it to make it absolutely crystal clear this is a CARTINEZ main pairing with CARYL interaction? I tagged it that way. I wrote it out in the summary. If you can't take 2 seconds to absorb that into your brain nothing I do will help you. So get this straight, I will not do anything someone anonymously demands me to, whether you are a fellow Caryl shipper or not. A true Caryl shipper would not act like a giant baby having a tantrum. I would be happy to respond to you if you sent me a message but you don't have the courtesy to sign in. So, do me a favor and don't read ANY of my stories, Caryl or not.
To everyone else that has been kind and still following this story, you don't know how much I appreciate it. Please keep giving me feedback because I'm exhausted from all the negativity I've been getting. I am still going strong and am on chapter 10. And you might just get a surprise at the end, you never know.
I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your family. I'm still sitting in my pj's so I call it a good day!
XOXO Pamela
4. Waiting for the Thaw
Winter had passed through the camp, bringing with it a bitter, bone chilling cold. No one did much work or ventured out and an eerie silence overtook the little community. Usually the sounds of the river lent a background noise to their daily life, a soundtrack of sorts for them. Once the river froze over, its symphony ceased and the silence became overwhelming for Carol. She and Caesar now lived as a full-fledged couple and she had moved into his cabin. She spent many mornings sitting on the back porch, bundled in as many layers as possible, drinking weak instant coffee and silently willing the ice to thaw just so she could hear the river speak to her again.
The first night she and Caesar became lovers, Carol knew she had never felt like anything like she felt with him. It was so different from the naïve love she had had for Ed that turned into a self imposed prison. It was also nothing like the unrequited love she had felt for Daryl. With Daryl her heart was safe because she had all the aspects of a committed relationship with him without the messy sex and all the drama that came with being coupled in the Zombie Apocalypse. They were each other's person and for the most part, it had been enough for her. She had thought she could live without the physical aspect of intimacy.
She had been so wrong. Sex with Caesar was fiery and so intense he sometimes made her forget her name as she climaxed. She never had thought herself as someone who would be comfortable with her naked form and the things you could do with it, but he was the best of teachers in the sensual arts. They had attempted to keep living separately but every night she was either in his bed or he was in hers. After less than a month, he asked her to live with him permanently as his lover and partner. They couldn't get enough of each other and she seemed to lose all her inhibitions. They had been caught more than once, in flagrante delicto, by Pete, who told them they were dirty fuckers that scarred him for life.
Her feelings of love for him just snuck up on her. They had been basking in the afterglow of a particularly intense lovemaking session and she had looked at him, sweaty and brown eyes glittering at her with such affection. She couldn't stop herself and she leaned in to kiss him and told him she loved him. His reaction was to push her back down, mount her again and as he came inside her, he moaned out his love for his Corazon. She became the official "first lady" of the camp and that's how she found herself that winter morning, sitting in her favorite chair, staring out onto the icy water.
The back screen door creaked open and Pete joined her on the porch, plopping down next to her in a rickety chair. "Out here trying to get the ice to thaw with the power of your mind? You do this every damn morning." He swiped her coffee cup and stole a sip.
"The thaw's coming. I can feel it. If you're looking for Caesar, he's gone off with your brother this morning. He thinks he might have found a place with some medical supplies. We're running low on bandages and antibiotic cream." Carol finally noticed he had taken her cup and smacked his hand, laughing.
"Yeah, they asked if I wanted to go but it's just too damn cold for my liking. Besides, somebody needed to stay here and keep you out of trouble. You tend to go rogue when you have too much time on your hands." His face grew red as he realized how his words may have come across. "Sorry, you know I like to stick my foot in my mouth."
She rubbed his shoulder. "Honey, don't ever apologize. Do you see me clutching my pearls? It's actually frighteningly accurate." She leaned over and kissed his cheek and then leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat in companionable silence, gazing out on the ice covered water.
They were startled out of their contemplation by the sounds of shouting off towards the front of the camp. Carol distinctly heard Mitch's livid cursing but didn't recognize the other angry tones right off the bat. She stood up, grabbing her gun off the table.
"No!" Pete spat. "Go around to Lilly's cabin and you stay there until one of us comes and gets you. Now if you hear gunfire, we're going to need the cavalry. Get everyone prepped." His mouth was set in a grim line. "Remember what I said about going rogue?"
She touched his arm as she swept off the porch. "Don't be too long. I only can control myself for so long." She carefully ran towards Lilly's cabin, slipping occasionally on patches of ice. Lilly was peeking outside her door and flung it open to let Carol inside.
"Did you see anything?" Carol asked, panting and wincing as she rolled her ankle on the way over.
"It looks like a group came back with Caesar and Mitch. Men, women, a boy. They look really pissed off. Where's Pete?" Lilly shooed Megan away from the door.
"He was with me and went to go find out what's going on. He said for us to stay put here unless shit hits the fan. Where's your gun?" Carol asked her. Lilly pulled a revolver out of her waistband.
Carol could see the figures in the distance, one man pacing around behind a truck. Her eyesight wasn't what it used to be so they were pretty indistinct. A figure was approaching and when it came into focus, Carol recognized Pete. She walked out onto the steps to meet him.
He had a troubled look on his face. "Seems like Mitch and Caesar met up with these folks in town. From what I gather they know Caesar from the last group he was with. I guess there's some bad blood. His old group attacked their group, people died on both sides. But they're half-starved and some are hurt. Jefe is offering them the RV camp but it's real tense right now. Their leader is ranting about some Governor."
Carol felt her knees go out from under her and didn't even feel Pete grabbing her and setting her on the steps. She could hear him frantically talking to her, but it was muffled by the roaring in her ears. Was Caesar part of the Governor's group? Was that what he always referenced when he talked about his demons? Was he part of the group that attacked the prison, killed Axel, Merle and Andrea? The tears fell unbidden and she felt more than saw Lilly at her other side, holding her and murmuring words of comfort. She felt her meager stomach contents threatening to come up. She was suddenly lifted off the ground into Pete's arms and was brought into Lilly's cabin and set on her couch. She was having a full blown panic attack and Pete sat on the couch sideways with her propped up in his arms. He was rubbing circles in her back while Lilly was trying to get her to sip on some water.
It took close to five minutes for her to calm down. When she swiveled her head to Pete, he looked absolutely terrified. Her heart burst with the knowledge of how much he cared for her, worried for her. She tried to smile reassuringly at him. "I'm okay. My old group, we had run-ins with the man called the Governor. He killed my friend, Andrea. He tried to kill us and take our home. My best friend there, Daryl, his brother was also murdered by him. He looked high and low for any trace and he just seemed to disappear. It's just a name I never thought I'd hear again." She stood up quickly but Pete jumped up with her, grasping her waist to hold her still. "I have to talk to Caesar and find out what the hell is going on. If he used to be with the Governor…" She trailed off and felt the tears form again.
"I promised Jefe you would stay here until he got them settled. I have a feeling he's going to want to talk to you one on one. He's real upset. He told them he left him after the Governor killed his own people. You know Caesar, Carol, better than anyone. He's not like that Governor guy. Not the guy that saved me from a biter taking a chunk out of me before he even knew my name. Not the guy that gave you a home when you had no one else and nowhere to go. We both owe him a chance to explain." He lifted her chin and caught her eyes. "I'm gonna head back out there and help them get settled over in the RVs. It's too cold for all this pissing and moaning." He kissed her forehead and headed for the door.
Carol called out to him before he went through the doorway. "You said they were hurt and had a kid with them. Did they say where they came from? Why they were out on the road?"
Pete shrugged. "They said they had been on the road for months after that Governor guy attacked the compound they were living at. If you can believe it, they were holed up in a prison. It's fucking ingenious." He didn't even turn to see the frozen look of shock on her face as he bounded down the steps and out towards the people she had once called family.