IMPORTANT NOTE!

This monday, I start school. If you read that journal entry on deviantART about "My Life In Decline", you'd know what this means. This means that I am banning myself from any fun and fandom-relevant sites on weekdays, INCLUDING FRIDAY (unless something special/important comes up). This includes this site, deviantART, YouTube, ROBLOX, and tumblr. Any and all weekly updated fanfics, including this one, will ONLY be updated on Saturdays and/or Sundays. I MIGHT be on the site on a weekday if it's a no-school day or a holiday or whatever, but updates will only be on Saturday or Sunday. I love writing these fanfics for you guys, but I gotta stay focused on my school work. So don't expect ANY updates on weekdays. THE ONLY EXCEPTION is in the case of seasonal school vacations (i.e. winter break, spring break, etc) OR if a fanfic is specifically scheduled to update on a specific day. "seasonal school vacations" do NOT include holiday breaks or weekends (because those are only a few days).

This pattern will continue all the way until the end of the school year. You'll know if I'm on any of the sites by my profile pic. If my profile pic is YGO-related (in the case of FF.N, my drawing of Ryou with that blue background), then I'm on the site for that day(s). If the profile pic is something NOT related to YGO or my fandoms, I'm not on the site and I'm focused on school.

More info can be found in my tumblr post.

(Fun fact: I have NEVER changed my profile pic on this site. This school year will be the first time.)

Now back to your regularly scheduled fanfic!

HELLOOOOO AGAIN!

Sorry about forgetting to update! I had stuff going on! I also rush-uploaded this chapter because I have stuff to do today.

Prepare for a LONG chapter. In this chapter, Marik and Bakura will be having a discussion/argument/thiefshippingmoment about the fate of Melvin and/or Ryou's existence in the apartment and/or the fanfic. This is going to be the most fun we've had all fanfic! Brace yourselves, cuz things are about to get a little crazy!

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/trademarks in those.

R&R

ENJOY~!

They sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

"Make sure to block your mind from Melvin," Bakura said. "Mine has already been blocked from Ryou."

Marik nodded. "Way ahead of you. If I hadn't, Melvin would have seen through the camera thing."

"Good. Now listen, this is going to have to be a serious talk. Meaning that—"

"No Greatest-Head-Ever-Of-The-Greatest-Evil-Council-Ev er mode?"

"Wh–? I don't even know what that is. But that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that we're going to have to be..."

*dramatic zoom in and dramatic noise*

"...unabridged."

Marik gasped loudly.

Bakura gasped loudly.

Dramatic Chipmunk* did that dramatic thing it does.

"This is inconceivable!" Marik cried.

"I know. It'll be difficult for me as well, but we can do it, and we'll have to if we're going to get anything done."

"So..."

"No saying frig or anything about Mega Ultra Chicken or 'oh my god cards'. And as difficult as it'll be, I'm not going to say anything British or gay or whatever it is that separates me from my original sub/dub counterpart. Are we clear?"

Marik nodded slowly. "Do our voices have to be non-abridged also?"

"No. I can keep my accent and you can keep your annoying way-too-high pitched voice."

"F*** you Bakura!" Marik's eyes widened. He hadn't used that [EFF!] sound EFFect!

"That was the first step. That sound effect. Good. Now we can start."

"Okay," Marik said in his abridged voice but without that abridged demeanor.

"Good. Now here's what I think we should do. First, we'll lay out all possible plans of action. All possible, mind you. Then we can argue about all of them."

"Alright," Marik said as he stood up. He walked to the counter and opened a drawer, took out a pad of sticky notes and a pen, then moved to the seat next to Bakura instead of where he had been sitting before. "Basically, the only possibilities are that Melvin leaves, Ryou leaves, they both leave, they both stay, or we just kill Melvin."

"True, but there are different options for each of those."

Marik took five stickies and placed them on the table in front of him and Bakura in a row, several inches of space between them. On one, he wrote "Melvin leave". On another, he wrote "Ryou leave". On a third, he wrote "Both leave". On the fourth, he wrote "Neither leave". On the last one, he wrote "Destroy Melvin".

"Okay," Marik said when he was done. "So now what are the options for each of these?"

Bakura gazed at the five blue stickies for a while, then pointed to the one that said "Destroy Melvin". "Well, this one seems obvious enough. There are only two ways we can do this. Kill him physically or destroy his soul."

Marik put two blank stickies underneath "Destroy Melvin". "What about the Shadow Realm?"

"That won't destroy him. That would count as him leaving."

After writing "murder body" and "kill soul" on the two stickies, Marik put a blank one under "Melvin leave" and wrote "Shadow Realm" on it. "Okay. So I think another option for making Melvin leave would be to have Aquailita kick him out of the fanfic again. But you really don't want her here so..."

"Like I said," Bakura said with a grimace, "we'll argue about the options later. Just write it down."

Marik shrugged and wrote "leave fanfic" on a sticky then put it underneath the "Shadow Realm" one.

"Write the same thing twice more and put them under 'Ryou leave' and 'Both leave'," Bakura suddenly said.

Marik did so.

"What about Ryou's old apartment?" Marik asked. "Does that still exist or did Aquailita destroy that when she gave you and Ryou separate bodies?"

Bakura thought about that for a moment. "Hm... I'm not sure, but put that down as an option for either of them leaving and both of them leaving."

Marik wrote down "Ryou's old apartment" on three stickies and put each of them under "Ryou leave", "Melvin leave", and "Both leave".

"We don't have anything for both of them staying," Marik said, pointing out the lone sticky.

"I know."

"Well if that's the case then Melvin would have to room with me or Ryou. You're not even an option because you'd object to that."

"I agree."

Marik wrote "Melvin in Marik's room" and "Melvin in Ryou's room" on two stickies and put them under "Both stay".

"So, since him and Slenderman are apparently best friends or something like that, could Melvin possibly just stay next door with him?"

Marik cringed. "Ugh..."

"If it's a possibility, we have to write it down just for the sake of writing it," Bakura reminded him.

Marik composed himself and nodded, then wrote down "Stay with Slender" on a sticky and put it under "Melvin leave".

"Or he could get his own apartment," Bakura said as an afterthought. "Assuming he'd even be able to handle it..."

Marik wrote that down and put it under "Melvin leave".

"Hold on," Marik said. "How would Ryou leaving only do anything?"

"It's just an option," Bakura said. "It doesn't really have to make sense."

In a great show of self control, Marik held back an abridged-related comment.

Bakura sensed this and nodded. "Good. Don't comment. Now..."

"I got one!" Marik exclaimed. "Melvin and Ryou—or rather, Melvin and you—could have their bodies taken away and we'd have to share again."

Bakura's eyes widened. "No wa—"

Marik grinned slyly at him. "It's an option~!" he said, mocking what Bakura had been constantly reminding him. "I'll write it down anyway." Before Bakura could protest, he wrote down "Share bodies again" on a sticky and put it under "Both stay".

Bakura bit his lip and held back his protests, because Marik was right. Not that he would admit that. Especially since they were only acting non-abridged, and Marik would give him hell about it once they were back to acting abridged again.

Marik smirked at Bakura one last time before his face went serious again. "So is there anything else?" he asked.

"Well, if both of them stay, then we could possibly all change rooms, with Ryou taking my room, Melvin taking your room, and the two of us sharing Ryou's room because it's so big."

Marik nodded and wrote "Trade rooms" on a sticky, then put it under "Both stay".

"Any other options?" Marik asked.

Bakura took a few moments to think. "I...don't think so," he said. He stood up and walked over to the drawer Marik had gotten the stickies and pen from and took a pencil out of it. "We should start narrowing the options down now."

"Okay." Marik put the pen down and held his now-empty hand out.

Bakura stared at the hand, then at Marik. "What?"

"Pencil."

"Why?"

"So I can cross stuff out!"

Bakura held the pencil closer to him. "I'm using it. You already wrote stuff. It's my turn."

Marik pouted, but nodded. "Fine."

Bakura looked at all of the stickies. "Damn, that's a lot. I know what I'm crossing out first..."

He moved his hand to write on one of the stickies, but Marik grabbed his wrist. "Hey wait! I thought you said we were going to talk about them, not just start crossing stuff out right away."

"You just want to cross stuff out first," Bakura said, trying to free his wrist. But Marik was stronger than him, so it didn't work. "Let go."

"No. Hold up!"

"Let go first."

"Drop the pencil."

"Marik, you're being ridiculous."

"Me? You're the one who wants to cross stuff out right away when we're supposed to be talking about it first."

"Oh yeah? And when have you ever waited to do something until you discussed it with me?"

"It was your idea to talk about each option before we made any decisions."

"Fine. I'm not going to. Just let go of my wrist."

"Just let go of the pencil."

"MARIK!"

"BAKURA!"

Their gazed locked and they shot daggers at each other with their narrowed eyes. No one made a single sound of movement, other for their breathing and blinking.

After about two minutes, they suddenly realized that their faces were really close to each other.

"You're just dying to curse me out in British," Marik said in a low voice, "aren't you?"

"Yes. And you're just dying to say frig and other things to me," Bakura countered, his voice just as low, "aren't you?"

"Yeah."

They were silent for another minute.

Now their noses were touching.

"Wanna drop the whole 'non-abridged' stuff?" Marik asked.

"Gladly."

"Then let's drop it now."

"No."

"What?"

"Hold on."

Marik waited a few seconds.

Then Bakura said, "Okay, now we drop it."

Then all hell broke loose. Well this is Yu-Gi-Oh we're talking about, so all...Shadow Realm?...broke loose? I don't even knows.

"YOU'RE BEING SO FRIGGIN RIDICULOUS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA IS YOUR [EFF]ING PROBLEM BUT YOU'RE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING FOR NO FRIGGIN REASON AND ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FRIGGIN BITCH!"
"YOU'RE SO BLOODY IMMATURE SERIOUSLY WHAT IS YOUR BLOODY PROBLEM DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE YOUR WAY AND BE SO RA DAMN CHILDISH ALL THE TIME THIS IS TOTAL RUBBISH CAN'T YOU JUST CONTROL YOURSELF ONCE IN A BUGGERING WHILE?!"

Suddenly, it was totally quiet again.

Then a moment later, it wasn't.

Marik let go of Bakura's wrist and instead grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips out of nowhere.

Bakura's eyes widened and he went all tense, dropping the pencil in the progress.

The moment this happened, Marik ended the kiss and grabbed the pencil. He held it up triumphantly. "HA!" he cried. He quickly drew a big X on one of the stickies, the one that said "Stay with Slenderman" under "Melvin leave".

Bakura recovered from the shock of that random-ass kiss and snatched the pencil from the unsuspecting Marik.

"Hey!" Marik cried as Bakura quickly X-ed out "Share bodies again" from under "Both stay".

Marik slapped him, causing him to drop the pencil when he moved his hand to rub his stinging face.

Marik grabbed the pencil and crossed out "Ryou's old apartment" from under "Ryou leave".

Bakura clawed at Marik's hand, which made him drop the pencil and cry out in pain. Bakura snatched it up, then crossed out "Leave fanfic".

Marik recovered from the scratches Bakura had given him, grabbed a handful of the Brit's long hair, and tugged it back violently, tugging Bakura's head back as well. While Bakura was distracted by reaching back with one hand to free his hair, and snarling the entire time, Marik sneakily took the pencil out of Bakura's other hand. He crossed out "kill body" from under "Destroy Melvin".

This continued on for another few minutes until they had crossed off a bunch more stuff.

At last, the person who had the pencil—Marik, at that moment—decided to toss the pencil away. He person reaching for it—Bakura—quickly realized that it was no longer there, and gave up the assault.

Bakura let go of Marik and Marik let go of Bakura.

They stood up and faced each other, both of them breathing hard. They took a minute to let their breathing slow, then looked at the stickies.

Against all odds, all of the stickies will still in place. Almost all of them had X's through them, except for three: "Ryou's apartment" under "Both leave", "Ryou's room" under "Both stay", and "Stay with Slender" under "Melvin leave".

"Hey!" Marik cried. "Didn't I cross out 'Stay with Slender'?!"

"You did," Bakura admitted. "But I erased it and crossed out two."

"}:T"

"}:P"

"Bitch."

"Fuck you, too."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Let's just calm the bugger down and talk about these three choices."

"Fine."

They righted the chairs, which had been knocked over in the fight, then sat down in them and tried to calm themselves down.

"That was fun," Marik said.

"I have to agree," Bakura said. "We haven't had a good fight like that in a while. Ever since..."

"Before Ryou came?"

"I was going to say 'a week before our lives were violated by my fangirl and my former host', but yes, the way you worded it does perfectly fine."

"Yaaaahhh. So let's get talking!"

They turned their attention to all of the sticky notes all over the table, specifically at the three that weren't crossed off.

"What was wrong with the stuff you crossed off?" Marik asked.

"Well, I don't want Aquailita to get involved. I'd rather Ryou have his room to himself. I do not want to share a body with my host anymore, now that I have my own. No takebacks! And Ryou shouldn't have to leave. I want to keep an eye on him, anyway."

Marik folded his arms.

"And what was wrong with the stuff you crossed off?" Bakura asked.

"Well, I don't really want Melvin on his own, and I don't think he would be able to handle it. Plus, someone needs to keep an eye on him. And even though I hate his guts, he's still my yami so I guess I feel obligated to give two frigs about him, and I don't want to see him leave or destroyed."

"Hm," Bakura said. "Okay. Slightly believable."

"Frig off, Bakura. Ryou would have said the same thing about you. Or something similar."

"Perhaps. But I would be able to come back whenever the bugger I felt like, regardless of where you people sent me or if you tried to destroy me, because destroying me would not even work anyway."

"Just don't question me."

"Fine. I won't."

"So out of the three options left, which one are we going to choose? They have equal appeal. But personally, I would like both of them to leave."

"I think the best option would be for both of them to stay and just share Ryou's room. That way we can keep an eye on both of them."

"Why did you cross out 'Switch rooms'?"

"Too much work," Bakura said. "Besides, Ryou has too much crap for it to all fit in where my room is, and Melvin is you so he just owns whatever crap you own. It'll be better for him to move in with Ryou."

"Yeah and how are we going to get a second bed in there without asking A—"

"Marik," Bakura interrupted, "we don need the authoress or fanfiction convenience to do everything for us. And if we can't steal one and assemble it in there, Melvin will just have to share Ryou's bed. It's full size, so it's big enough."

"Oh. Okay."

"And as for staying with Slenderman, I erased the X you put on that one because it would be perfect. We'd have Melvin out of our way, but within our reach in case something happens, and they'll keep each other busy."

Marik nodded reluctantly. "Yeah but then Melvin will just let him in here all of the time and it pisses me off!"

"Slendy might be a terrible neighbor and a pest, but he's an okay roommate. Especially if he's occupied with something, he won't be as annoying. Trust me. I would know."

"It's ironic how you don't remember most of it, when you're practically the master of memory wipes and memory lapses and you have a Millenium Item capable of erasing memories. Couldn't you just try to use the Millenium Ring to get your memories back from that time? I really do want to hear some of your stories."

"I've tried that. And believe me, sometimes alcohol a memory eraser so powerful that not even ten Rings could overcome it. And while I may not remember everything I did, the songs playing at the clubs and parties we went to are still ringing in my head to this very day."

Marik put his elbows on the table and leaned his head on his hands. He leaned towards Bakura, fully interested. "Oooh. What songs?"

Bakura shook his head. "No. Enough talk about my college experience for today. We have more important matters at hand to talk about."

Marik lifted his head. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

"So like I was saying, not only are the two of them friends, but Slenderman would be the perfect roommate for him."

Marik again nodded reluctantly. "Fine. So which of the three options should we choose?"

"I'm not sure," Bakura said as he passed his eyes over the other stickies. "We've narrowed it down a lot. I think it might be best to just run these three options by them and see what they want to do."

"Ugh. Do we have to?"

"Unfortunately. Because you and I would get nowhere and just argue about it all day. And eventually we'd waste so much time that it would be too late to even discuss anything, and Melvin would have another day free to do whatever he wants until we finished making up our minds."

"Makes sense."

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"Surprisingly good talk. We even had a fun fight."

"Word, Kura."

"What was that for?"

"I like calling you 'Kura'."

"No, the 'word'."

"What word?"

"The word 'word'."

"What?"

Bakura just facepalmed. "Never mind."

"So are we ready?" Marik said as he stood up.

Bakura stood up. "Yes, we are ready."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

See you next chapter!

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!