Author's Note: I love you guys! The support, messages, reviews and follows have really warmed my heart. I promise I will make it worth your reading pleasure. The next few chapters were painful for me to write. I cried, I deleted, I wrote some more, deleted some more and settled on things. If you like angst, you're in for a real treat. There be rough waters ahead...

As always, reviews inspire me! I love hearing your feedback. You people are fabulous! I want to give a special shout out to AtoIzzard for being my beta. Her feedback has been instrumental in keeping this story in check. Love you! Go read her 10 Things Caryl drabbles. They are perfection.

XOXO Pamela

6. Eddy

Her head rested against the couch as she sat on the floor, the tears flowing silently. She grieved for Hershel, the kind man who taught her so much, who loved them all as his own children. She grieved for Glenn, her wonderful, funny friend she knew from the very beginning. She grieved for Beth, the sweet, quiet child who had endured so much. She grieved for Judith, Lori's beautiful baby, unjustly taken away by the cruelty of this world. She grieved for Lizzie and Mika the most. In the short time she had known those girls, she had come to love them. They were smart, sassy and full of life. She failed them. She failed their dad. She was so angry at Rick, her anger swirling around in her grief like a whirlpool, sucking her down into despair. She stayed where she was, slowly coming down from her sorrow.

She got up and walked toward the window, peeking out from behind the plaid curtain. She saw Rick in front of his group, speaking to them. Pete was next to him and when Rick finished, all of the group save for Rick, Daryl and Michonne followed Pete out of her sight. She saw Lilly walk up to Michonne and then they disappeared, presumably to head towards Lilly's cabin so she could take a look at the swordswoman's injury.

She saw Rick and Daryl face each other, talking. Daryl seemed to have calmed down a lot from earlier and his crossbow was now strapped to his back. She smiled to herself when she saw he was still clad in that leather angel wing vest. It was like a second skin to him. She had been the only one he had let touch it to clean it. She wondered if he had Maggie clean it now. Rick had his back to her so she couldn't see his expression. Daryl listened and then said something to Rick. The former sheriff shook his head and Daryl's shoulders sank and he dropped his head. She wondered what Rick had said to him to cause such a sorrowful reaction. Then Rick glanced very quickly back to the cabin and it hit her what he might have been discussing. She knew then Rick had kept his word and had not mentioned her. Rick faced Daryl once again and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder before heading off to follow the rest of the group.

She waited for Daryl to follow but he didn't move. He stood there, looking at the ground, shifting his crossbow on his shoulder. He reached into his vest and pulled something out, holding it in his hand and staring at it. She couldn't see what it was but she willed him to just move away.

Caesar came into her line of vision and he was heading back to the cabin. He passed Daryl and headed up the stairs. Daryl raised his head and took a few steps toward the cabin, calling out to Caesar. He was standing in front of the door now. He turned to face Daryl and they were now close enough to hear their conversation.

Caesar spoke first and his words surprised Carol. "Look, cabron, I'm sorry about Merle. He was an ass but he was my friend. When he ambushed us I had no idea what Phillip had done. You know Merle always talked about you. The sweet baby brother. He was always looking for you, whenever we'd come across a group or go on a run. This world shits on us sometimes. Takes away what we love." Caesar lit a cigarette and then offered one to Daryl, who accepted it.

Daryl was now on the steps leading to their cabin. He was so close. She could see his hair was even longer and looked like it hadn't seen soap in a long time. His scruffy beard was speckled with even more salt and pepper color and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was skinny, not lean and firm like he used to be, but skinny like he hadn't had a decent meal in weeks. His face and clothes were dirty. He looked so tired, so worn down. She wanted to shoo him to a camper so he could get some decent sleep. She moved from the window to the shadows by the screen door so she could see and hear them clearly.

"Yeah, I'm fucking tired of losing everything. Merle was a tough sumbitch and he went out fighting. Just like I thought his dumbass would." He shifted again on his feet and reached his hand out to show Caesar what was clutched in his palm. "I'm lookin' for someone. One of our group. She got separated from us right before the Governor attacked. I was hoping maybe you might have come across her. She's been gone a long time but she's a fighter. She's still out there, I know it. I'm just trying to bring her home." In his fingers was a wrinkled and worn photograph. Carol covered her mouth to stifle the sound that desperately clawed up her throat.

The picture was of a moment she remembered clearly. It was taken in the prison yard as she and Daryl discussed breaches in the fences. Glenn had procured an instant camera and had gleefully run around snapping pictures of the group. She knew the photo had been taken but never saw it herself. In the picture she could she herself in profile, her arms folded, biting her lip as she was studying the buildup of walkers by tower three. It was the other person in the photo with her that stunned her. Daryl had slung his arm over her after she had teased him about the newer members of the group fawning over his rock star status. He had bumped her shoulder and put his arm over her for just a moment. He was looking at her as she stood there unaware. The raw emotion captured on his face took her breath away. She'd never seen him look at her the way he was in that photo. He looked like a man staring at the woman he loved. Her heart broke all over again.

She could see Caesar take the photo but she couldn't see his face. Daryl was chewing on the side of his mouth, nervously watching Caesar. It was tensely quiet and then she noticed him turn his head ever so slightly towards the door before letting out a heavy sigh. "Sorry, man. I can't help you. Why are you looking so hard for someone that's been gone so long? She your woman?"

Daryl spoke softly. "She's family. She was there and then one day she was just gone. I ain't never gonna stop looking for her." He took the picture from Caesar looking at it one more time before folding it and tucking it back into the safety of his vest. "If it's okay I'm gonna ask your people in camp. Maybe they saw her somewhere. Maybe I can get a lead to where she might've been or might've been heading."

Carol didn't know what to do. If he went to anyone in the camp and showed her picture he would know she was here. She prayed Caesar refused him. Her prayer went unanswered.

"Corazon?" His voice sounded resigned and she finally saw his face as he turned toward the door. "I know you're there. I think you need to talk to him." He walked right up to the screen door and he could now see her in the shadows. "I'm going to go make sure our new guests have what they need. Take all the time you need and I'll see you later." He made no move to open the door, to touch her or kiss her. He turned back to Daryl, who looked baffled. "There's someone I think you'd like to meet." With that he swiftly walked down the steps and headed off, not looking back.

Carol grasped the handle and pulled the door open, the hinges creaking loudly. She stepped out of the shadows and faced the man who had possessed so much of her heart for so long. "Daryl." It was the only word her brain seemed to be able to form.

The expression on his face went from baffled to completely dazed. They stood there, marveling at each other until Daryl finally found his voice. "I'm not dreaming, right?" He choked out. "You really here?"

"I'm really here, Daryl. I'm safe." As soon as those words left her mouth she found herself wrapped up into Daryl's strong arms. The swirling, dizzying feeling of being caught in a whirpool consumed her again. He was embracing her tightly, his face buried in the crook of her neck. One hand went to the back of her head and she felt his fingers tangle in her hair.

"You're really here. You're real. I found you. Thank you God, I found you." It was then she felt the first drop of his hot tears hit her skin.