Author's Note: Thank you all for the continued support! It's like getting a basket of puppies nestled in flowers delivered to my inbox every day! This chapter is one I prefer to liken to taking off a bandaid. You gotta rip it off quick so the pain is over fast. It's not going to be pretty and try not to hate me. But this Carol, the one dumped by the family she loved, has finally realized she deserves happiness and can't sit around waiting for someone else to finally get hit by lightning to figure it out. But, a little pain makes it that much sweeter at the end. And even though I initially said this was not a Caryl ever after, NEVER count a Dixon out.

Please review me! And I will absolutely post guest reviews as long as they are polite and don't go off on some tangent about how I am writing Carol completely wrong and how Rick and Daryl are just victims to the evil Carol. No matter is you dress it up in a long winded paragraphs with your own biased spin. And I definitely will not give you the benefit of the doubt if you then slam fellow reviewers and disparage them. If you are so desperate for a good non Caryl/Carol story, honey, feel free to write your own. I expend alot of my time to this and if you can do better, have at it. Good luck to you.

Anywhoooo, thanks again to those who really come to read this with good intentions.

XOXO Pamela

8. Dammed

His hands held her face to his and he kissed her like she had always imagined he would. For a second she let herself get swept up into it, heat rushing to all parts of her body. He moaned against her mouth and that was enough to motivate her to stop it from going any further. She pushed back from him and when he tried to pull her back in for another kiss, she grabbed his hands to halt him. "Daryl, we can't do this. I just told you I am with Caesar. I am committed to him."

The look in his eyes was feral. He leaned into her and she put both of her hands onto his chest. She felt more than heard the growl the rumbled through him. "You still love me. I can feel it. What we have just doesn't disappear 'cause you want it to. You can tell yourself you are happy with your sweet little set up you got here but it's always been you and me. You need to come back to where you belong." He brushed his nose against hers, his mouth parting as he whispered those words to her.

She stepped back so he couldn't kiss her again. Every emotion she had bottled up inside her burst forth like water breaching a dam. "No. That's where you're wrong. I was in love with you so much it almost killed me when I left you. I had to let you go so I could survive. And not just survive, so I could LIVE. I will always love you, you are a part of me that I never want to lose. But I love Caesar, I'm in love with him. We have made a wonderful life together and he makes me happy. I never knew what real happiness with a man that didn't beat it out of me or one that was too afraid to let me love him was. There was never going to be an 'us', Daryl. You were too frightened to let me in and I just couldn't put myself out there with you. Lori asked me once why I didn't just throw you into a cell and have my way with you and I told her because I deserved to have someone come to me and pursue me. I lived most of my adult life with a man that told me I would never be good enough, pretty enough, smart enough for anyone but him. All those moments you and I were together, alone, not once did you seem like you wanted to move beyond what we had. And I was fine with it. I thought I could just be happy to have you in my life, caring for me just a little bit more than the others. But, you know what? It's so much better to have someone who tells me every day he loves me. Tells me how much he wants me and how he can't live without me. That's what I deserve. That's what I have here." She was breathless by the time she finished.

Daryl was silent for a moment, his face pained and his chest heaving. When he spoke, his voice was soft and sad. "I guess this is my ultimate punishment for not making an honest woman out of you long ago. I didn't think I had to declare myself to you, I made it pretty obvious it was you and only you."

"Daryl, you barely touched me. How was I supposed to know how you felt when it didn't seem you even knew yourself? I burned every time I was near you. I didn't just want your friendship. I wanted you. I wanted to kiss you, touch you, stroke you, make love to you." She was full of resentment. He comes in like a knight on a crusade, searching for her for so long and now admitting his feelings. It was too little too late.

"I wanted all of that, too. I would go to sleep imagining you were there and I was touching you. I could feel your skin under my fingertips. I could taste you as I traced every freckle on your body with my tongue. I could feel myself inside of you. You consumed me. Losing you made me realize I could never go another night without you next to me, in my bed." Daryl squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, she could see he was holding back tears. "Please let me love you the way you deserve. If you can't be around Rick, we can leave. Go anywhere you want. We've come across talk that's there's a large settlement that has its own government north of here. You and I can start over, together. I've looked for you for so long, please don't make me walk away from you now that I've found you. I love you, Carol." He didn't hold back the tears then.

Carol's vision became blurry for a second and she realized she was crying, too. "I'm so sorry. You'll never know how truly sorry I am." She walked up to him and briefly touched her lips to his.

"Please, don't say it. Don't say it." He shook his head and then pressed his forehead to hers, tears falling faster.

She put her hand over his heart. "Daryl Dixon, you have the biggest heart I know. Don't hold yourself back from finding love because of a ghost. Don't let me haunt you. Grab the happiness that I know is out there waiting for you." Her fingers pressed into the fabric of his shirt. "You are a man of honor and I will always carry you in my heart. But my place is here. My heart is here, my family. Your family is waiting for you out there." She pulled her hand back and moved away from him.

He fixed his gaze on her, his eyes still watery, cheeks glistening with his shed tears. He backed away and grabbed his crossbow from where he set it by the door and turned to walk out. He didn't face her as he spoke. "You'll always be my family. You'll always be the one I love. Ain't nothing in this whole damn world that can change that. Michonne told me that love is one soul inhabiting two bodies. She said that quote always reminded her of you and me. She said you and I are soulmates. I'll be damned to love you forever." He opened the door and walked out of the cabin, down the steps and out of her life.