Author's Note: Thank you so much for getting through pulling that bandaid off. Like I said, the muses seem to veer me from my anticipated course and do not count Daryl Dixon out of the equation yet. But just know, Carol isn't just using Martinez as a placeholder for Daryl. This is a man that treats her like an equal and has always been open and affectionate with her. There are no pretenses, no confusion, he's what you see is what you get. Carol truly loves him because he has never given her reason to doubt his affection for her. As someone that lived with abuse for so long and then fell in love with the most emotionally handicapped man in the Zombie Apocalypse, Carol needs someone who has the capability to love her in every way she deserves. You will see in this chapter, these two are very much on equal footing.

There are just a few more chapters after this and I'm excited to see your reaction after each one. Please keep giving me the great feedback, it's so appreciated.

XOXO Pamela

9. Stream

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked shakily, wiping her tears off of her face.

"Long enough to watch you come face to face with one of those pesky demons of yours." Caesar answered. He walked up behind her from the back door where he had entered. He stepped up and stood next to her, his shoulder brushing hers. "That was quite a dramatic scene. I don't think little Merle will be darkening our door anytime soon."

"That demon is as much yours is as it is mine. Were you ever going to tell me about Phillip?" She sneered as that monster's name crossed her lips. "He killed people I cared about. He almost killed me. He blew the brains out of the man standing next to me in the prison yard the first time he attacked. I had to use his body to shield myself from bullets you and your people were raining down on me. Do you remember that?" She moved to stand in front of him, her earlier sadness of Daryl's departure being replaced by a ferocious rage at finally confronting Caesar about his association with the Governor.

He had the good sense to look ashamed. "I was blindly following orders to a man I had trusted for a long time. He took me in and gave me a home in Woodbury after I watched my entire family get torn apart by biters. None of us knew what a psycho he was until it was too late. Until Andrea and Merle. Until he wiped out his own people on the side of a road. Shump and I left him that night." Carol knew of Shumpert. He and Martinez has helped set up the camp at Spreewell Bluffs. He had said Shump had been haunted by things and became careless. He ended up getting bit in front of Martinez one day on a routine supply run and Caesar had to put him down. "I should've put a bullet in his head before we left. Saved everyone a lot of grief."

"Yes, you should have. Those people would still have a home and people I had cared about would still be alive. My girls would be alive." She tried to rein back her anger as she realized she never went into depth with anyone about her life at the prison. Sure, people knew the basics. She killed two of her group to try to stop the spread of a now known lethal disease, she had been a leader there and she had a little girl and husband that died before that. It was like her time at the prison became something that was forbidden for her to talk about. It was such a painful memory that she just erased it from her life. Like she had told Rick that awful day, it was somebody else's slideshow.

She needed to tell Caesar the terrible truth. "I became the guardian of two girls at the prison after their father died. He was killed by other group members that had died from the illness and turned during the night. I promised him I would care for them like they were my own. I killed Karen and David to make sure those girls and the rest of my group were safe. It didn't work and Rick kicked me out. I had to walk away from them. As you now know, they died because the Governor attacked the prison again. Maybe if someone had done what I did, take out the threat, Lizzie and Mika would still be alive. My friends would still be alive."

Caesar's eyes flashed with anger. "Seems like killing those two people did nothing but get your ass kicked out. Maybe if you hadn't turned into an angel of mercy you'd have been at the prison to take care of those girls like you had promised. Maybe they would still be alive." His last word was punctuated with the sound of Carol's hand hitting his cheek.

"Don't you dare." She hissed at him, pulling her hand back, shocked that she had hit him.

"Don't get all righteous with me, since you neglected to tell me you had Sir Galahad searching all over this great state looking for his amor eterno. You told me your husband died way before you found your way here. That you had been alone since then. How long were you fucking Merle's baby brother?" He rubbed the reddening mark on his cheek, nostrils flaring.

"Daryl and I were only friends." He snorted and rolled his eyes at her retort. "I did love him but he never once made a move beyond friendship. Today was the first time I ever heard him say he loved me like that. I don't know why you're so pissed. I told him I am with you, in love with you. You just watched him walk out the door because I told him you were my family. Don't question my loyalties, Caesar." She walked to the kitchen and dumped out the contents of the mugs, momentarily hypnotized as she watched the liquid swirl down the drain in a black stream.

"You want to know all my dirty little secrets? Yes, I was pretty much a lackey to a crazy fucker that kept his dead daughter as a walker and had us kill anyone he deemed a threat to his perfect little town. He kept walkers like animals and me, Merle and others would put on a show like gladiators, fighting them in front of everyone. We attacked the prison because he had us all fooled that your people were trying to come in and take the town. I was fooled right up until he turned on my friends and blew them all away. Why he didn't kill me or Shump, I have no clue. As soon as we snapped out of it, we left him. Not a day goes by that I didn't wish one of us had just killed him. Not a day." He walked up to the kitchen island, bracing himself on it. "Now that I laid all of my cards on the table, I want you to answer something for me. Now that they are here, HE's here, are you going to wake up one morning and decide you miss your old life? He made a pretty convincing argument about taking off with him. I just want some warning before you disappear out of my life forever." The bravado was gone, standing in front of her was the vulnerable face he rarely displayed. The face he would share with her during their intimate moments. The face she had grown to love so fiercely.

She shook her head. "I'm not going to leave you. What I said to him was the truth. I love you and I love our life together. You, Pete, Lilly, the kids, this camp is my family. I'm not going to leave my family ever again." She walked around the island to hug him. She wrapped her arms around his waist but he didn't react at first, keeping his hands at his sides. When the tears began to stream down her face she felt him flinch. One hand hesitantly came around to rest on the small of her back and when she whispered, "Please, Caesar. Don't push me away. I love you," the other encircled her to grasp her to him tightly. Her face pressed against his chest and she cried as he whispered words in Spanish to comfort her, like he always did when she was upset.

"No llores, Corazon. Siempre vamos a estar juntos. Te amo." She let the words float over her like a warm blanket, not quite sure of their meaning, but secure in the knowledge that she was safe and she was loved.

*The Spanish translates to "Don't cry, my beloved (my heart). We are going to be together forever. I love you."