Shelter From the Past

Chapter 5, Part 2

Do You Still Love Me?

Disclaimer: No, no, no, no, no………..

Author's Note: Wow, I haven't posted in a long time… Nevertheless, on with the story. This chapter contains some violent/sexual references; don't like, don't read, and please don't flame! Based on reviewers' opinions and my own imagination, I have decided to have her Uncle return while they are still there. It will not be in this chapter though, as he has no place in a strictly M&G chapter. Thank you to my kind reviewers!

Summary: If you don't already know, please go back to chapter 1 and read your way here again.

"With that, Johann walked towards the bedrooms and Maria took Georg's arm as she led him through the side door from the house to the barn in order to stay out of the rain. Time alone with him was all she needed; time alone to explain everything."

Georg held tightly to Maria's hand as she led him away from the house. Her palm was sweating; she was nervous. Her heart kept telling her that he would always love her no matter what, but in her mind, she wasn't so sure. And even if he was accepting, could he really be understanding as well? He'd told her bits and pieces of his childhood and from what Maria could gather, he'd had a decent upbringing. Could he understand what it was like have a mutual hate relationship with your guardian? Could he look past her scars for the rest of their lives? She had already lied about the physical scars, but she could tell every time he touched her back, he was wondering what really put them there; the everlasting reminders of her pain.

They entered the barn as quickly as they'd reached it, and as soon as they both safely inside, Maria turned around and bolted the door as securely as she had when her uncle was drunk. There was no light, but Maria knew every inch of her previous sanctuary, and was easily able to find and light a lantern. The dim light illuminated their faces just enough that both could see the worry on the other's. Maria didn't know how to start. Georg sensed her trepidation and didn't push her.

"Darling, why don't we sit down." He gestured towards the floor and Maria gave a faint smile as they moved to sit close to each other near the lantern. Georg put is arms around her and kissed her forehead as she laid her head on his chest. They sat peacefully in one another's arms for a moment, enjoying a tranquility they hadn't experienced in what seemed like ages.

"Georg?" Maria whispered. He pulled away from her an inch to look down at her face.

"Yes?" His voice was patient, allowing her the time she needed to gather her thoughts.

"Will you always love me?" Georg looked slightly puzzled; he couldn't figure out why she would ask him something like that.

"Of course, darling. Why would you even ask such a silly question?" He responded with some hesitancy.

"Georg, I'm serious." Her slightly monotone voice let him know she wasn't joking.

"Maria, look at me." She turned around in his arms and he put his hand lovingly on her cheek. Her eyes were pleading for reassurance; he almost wanted to cry. "I promise you, I will always love you. There is nothing on this earth that you could ever do to make me stop loving you. How can I make you understand that?" Silent tears began to drip down her face. Her entire body was screaming "Show me!". Georg pulled her close as she began to shake. She sobbed into his shoulder. The reality of what she was about to do had sunk in and she was more terrified then ever.

"Maria, please talk to me, I want to help you." She didn't look up. "Johann already told me a little-'' Now she looked up.

"What did he tell you?" She asked, her voice beginning to shake. Georg sensed that he probably shouldn't have told her, so he stayed silent; afraid to say anything that would further upset her. "Georg, what…did…he…tell…you?"

"Just that you were orphaned at an early age and that your Uncle never really liked you. I promise, that's all." Maria relaxed slightly. That Georg was still almost completely uninformed did not make talking to him any easier, but at least he was going to hear the whole story from her; the way he should.

"Maria, please; you've clearly held on to whatever happened for too long."

"I know."

"I won't judge you or love you any less."

"I….think I know." She was beginning to believe him. She paused and took a deep breath. "I don't know where to start."

"Johann said the same thing." Thought Georg. "How much could they have gone through?" Georg knew that Maria was still uneasy, so he tried to approach the subject differently.

"Why don't you tell me about you and Johann?" He asked. Their loving relationship was so apparent, that he figured she would be more then willing to talk about it. Sure enough, he saw a little of the trepidation in her eyes melt away as he spoke.

"I think we're the only siblings on the planet who never hated each other." Her smile grew as she reminisced. "We were best friends growing up," her smile faded "But I guess we didn't really have anyone else."

"You don't have to tell me yet if you don't want to." Georg reassured.

"I know." She paused. "But I will." Her voice grew serious and Georg knew that this time she was really going to tell him what had happened in her past. "You know already that my uncle didn't like me or Johann very much." Georg nodded, "What you don't know is the extent of that dislike." She took a deep breath and continued, knowing that there was no turning back.

15 years earlier

Two children walked somberly behind their guardian for the day; their tears still not dry from their father's funeral. They didn't speak; there was no need to. They were being taken to their uncle's house, and while their parents had always spoken of him in a positive regard, Johann and Maria had a bad feeling about what was to come. Their guardian brought them to the door, knocked, and left. They were alone for the first of many moments.

When the door opened, they were greeted by the foul stench of alcohol and mud coming from an equally foul persona. The man in front of them could not possibly be their uncle! His clothes were unkempt and fell loosely on his tall frame. His hair was disheveled and dark, and it fell just above his piercing brown eyes, and his beard was unshaven. Yet despite his lazy appearance, Richard Rainer worked hard, and the two pairs of eyes staring up at him knew that he was not one to be messed with. He didn't welcome them, but instead, simply smirked and walked back into the house, leaving the door open. Johann felt his sister tighten her grasp on his hand. He looked at her with an unsure expression before leading her into the house.

"I don't know why we went in." said Maria, "We could've run and ended up anywhere else; but we went in."

As Johann and Maria entered the house, they were not surprised to find that its state reflected that of its occupant. Nothing had been dusted for what seemed like years, and the furniture was old and torn.

"DOWN THE HALL YOU'LL FIND SOME EMPTY ROOMS. GO IN AND STAY THERE!" Yelled Richard from the kitchen.

Johann and Maria ran towards the hallway, eager to distance themselves from their uncle. After a few moments of searching, they found the rooms, went inside, locked the doors, and wept; wept for their parents, for each other, and most of all, for the situation that they were in. They would be in that situation for the next ten years.

"From that day on, it got worse and worse." Maria's voice was void of emotion, as if she wasn't even speaking from her own body.

"What happened next?" Georg asked empathetically.

As the years went by, Richard grew angrier, while Johann and Maria grew stubborn, strong, miserable, and depressed. Nothing they did was ever good enough for him. In the beginning, they'd tried to be good children and obey everything he said. They'd even cleaned the house one day, only for him to return and beat them for touching his things. That beating was the first of many.

The abuse had started verbally. The two of them were yelled at for every little thing until it seemed that Richard's only means of communicating to them was through shouting; something that neither of them knew how to deal with. When Johann was nine (Maria was seven), Richard threw him through a window for not working hard enough; the physical abuse had started.

"The scars you asked me about."

"Yes?"

"I lied about how I got them."

Georg exhaled slowly. "Oh." Maria felt her emotions start to give way and the first few tear drops make their way down her cheek.

"I'm sorry." She cried. Georg cradled her gently against him.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm not mad." He soothed. She continued to cry as she told her story.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!" screamed Richard as a ten-year-old Maria went flying across the room. Richard was drunk. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PEOPLE COMING INTO MY HOUSE?!" Maria fell to the floor with a thud; all she had done was brought her best friend home with her to play.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered.

"Sorry? SORRY?" Richard stomped towards her and kicked her hard in the stomach so that she rolled over. He brought his foot up again, but when it came down, it hit solid floor; Maria had thrown herself to the side just in time, but this infuriated her uncle even further. He grabbed the empty bottle of vodka off the table and raised it above Maria's back. The last thing she remembered that day was screaming "NO!"

"I didn't come to until the middle of the night. Johann face was the first thing I saw; he'd carried me to my bed and put bandages on my back." By now, Georg's tears had joined his wife's. "It turned out that Richard had broken the bottle on the first stroke. I guess that's where the gashes came from. Johann told me that he was passed out drunk, I think I sighed in relief and fell back asleep. Incidents like that happened everyday afterwards to one of us."

"Why didn't you tell someone, Maria?" Georg asked the question as if he was pleading with her to save herself, even though the danger was long gone. Her head snapped up.

"Don't you think we wanted to!?" She realized her tone and calmed down, "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize." He held her tighter. The light from the lantern illuminated her face in an unearthly way; making her look more beautiful then Georg had ever seen (tears and all). Maria was not someone who showed their vulnerability easily, and he realized, with awe, that that night was the first time he had ever seen her cry. Feeling an overwhelming amount of love for the woman in his arms, Georg reached down and pulled Maria's face to his as he kissed her fully and passionately, sure that he could chase away her demons with his love. Maria however, pulled away from the kiss sooner then expected.

"Please, don't." His hurt expression made her go on. "I'll never finish if you do." When he still looked upset, she reached up and kissed him back so powerfully he was left breathless. He smiled, and then returned to his previous question.

"Darling, why didn't you tell anyone what was going on?"

She sighed. "He said we'd be sorry and at that point, we thought that the only thing worse then what he was already doing was murder." She looked down. "Who would've believed us anyway? Two "troublesome" children accusing their only guardian of abuse? People would've thought we were looking for pity."

"What finally made you leave?"

Maria was going to be 16 the next day and for the first time, she went to sleep with a smile on her face. A few hours later she woke up, too excited to sleep. She picked up her journal and started to write. With less then a day to be 15, she wanted to complete the final pages so that she could start anew in the morning. After scribbling down a few thoughts about her day, she heard a knock at her window. She turned around and was delightfully surprised to see her best friend staring at her; gesturing to her to open the window. Maria placed her completed diary on her bed and hurried to let her in.

"What are you doing here?" asked Maria in a giggly way.

"Kidnapping you, of course." Maria rolled her eyes, "I'm serious! It's your birthday tomorrow and you shouldn't have to spend it locked up in this house."

"What about Johann?" Even as a teenager, Maria was reluctant to leave her brother alone.

"He won't even know you're gone, Maria; just come."

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you're a bad influence on me." Said Maria as she dodged a playful slap. There was silence for a moment while Maria thought; she knew that if she got caught, she might not live past 16, but then again, Richard was asleep, and Johann would never say anything to either of them on trouble…

"Alright I'll come."

"Yes!"

Maria climbed out her window and the two of them ran for the city; forgetting that she had left her journal out on her bed.

Maria approached the house cautiously the next morning, cursing herself for staying out all night. She didn't hear any noise coming from inside and thanked God that Richard and Johann were still asleep. Making her way around to the back, she peeked into the windows for any sign of life that might signify her uncle's presence. Not seeing any, she ran until she reached her own, unlocked window and crept quietly inside.

"Where the hell have you been?!" yelled Richard. Maria jumped; she was not expecting him.

"Um…" she stalled.

"WELL?"

"I woke up early and thought I'd take a walk." Her voice shook from fear.

"You lying piece of shit!" She winced, he hadn't bought it. "You've been gone all night! Who do you think you are? Did you think I was stupid enough not to notice?"

"No." She said meekly. She didn't know why, but he was frightening her now more then he ever had before. Something else was wrong. Suddenly, she felt something hard wham into her head and fall to the ground. She looked down at her diary and gasped.

"It's not anything bad!" she cried out.

"Not anything bad? THAT BOOK IS FILLED WITH LIES ABOUT ME!" he screamed. Maria felt her own anger rise at his statement.

"Lies?" she couldn't believe her ears, "I wrote down exactly what you did to us every single day!" She was yelling at him, but she didn't care, not anymore. Something about what he said had filled her with enough fury to make her stand her ground for the first time.

"SHUT UP! I NEVER HURT YOU!"

"Yes you did! You –'' SMACK! Maria fell backwards onto her bed crying out in pain. She felt her cheek; it was bleeding. She leapt up when she saw Richard bending over her and ran for the door only to find it was locked. Richard snickered and grabbed her from behind as she screamed for Johann.

"Let me go!" She tried to kick him, but he stepped down hard on her foot and twisted it until her ankle broke, sending her straight to the ground. She couldn't focus enough to crawl and so couldn't move away fast enough to avoid his foot coming down on her back. As she fell back down, he grabbed her by the arms and threw her across the room. She hit the wall and would have fallen again had she not grasped the edge of the bookcase.

"JOHANN!"

"Go ahead and scream for your brother, he won't come! He's not here!" Maria turned white; she was on her own. No, she wouldn't believe him.

"That's…not…true..." She said between breaths as she tried to stay conscious. Richard just smiled.

"Yes, it is. He can't hear you; no one can," He leaned in close to her face and whispered into her ear, "And no one ever will." Maria tried to scream again, but Richard covered her mouth and dragged her onto the floor. She felt his hands slide down her body and she felt sick, but she couldn't fight anymore; she didn't have the strength. As he started tugging at her dress, she heard her name yelled out from the front of the house.

"Maria!" She felt an overwhelming wave of relief.

"God damnit!" Richard yelled. He moved sickeningly close to Maria. "Stay here, I'll be back, and don't even think about moving." He left the room. Maria didn't know where he went or when he'd be back, but she knew she had to move somehow. Using all the strength she could find, she crawled to and out of the window. From outside, she heard Johann telling her,

"Maria, hang on! Help is coming!" Johann had called the police before coming home, and they were on their way, but at that moment Maria didn't care; and for that one moment, she almost wished they wouldn't make it in time.

"Georg, please say something." Maria pleaded, "Georg, you promised you wouldn't stop loving me if I told you, please say something."

What could he say? He didn't know how to tell her what he was feeling. He wasn't mad at her, and if anything, he loved her more for surviving what she did, but he couldn't talk; not yet, he was filled with too many conflicting emotions. He wanted to show Maria in anyway possible that she was loved, and that everything was going to be okay; he wanted to kill her uncle for hurting her; he wanted to fix what he'd done to his own children even though it came nowhere near close to what Richard had done. The sound of Maria crying against him brought him back to reality.

"I'm so sorry, darling." He finally got out. Maria looked up at him, confused. "I'm so sorry for what happened, but please know that I still love you." Maria started crying even harder, but not out of sorrow; out of joy; Georg still loved her.

"Do you mean that?" she asked

"With all my heart." She practically threw herself into his arms and they held each other as tight as they could; as if they could heal each other through a single embrace. Many tears were shed that night by each, but they needed to be, and for the first time, Maria felt free from the emotional burden of her secrets. Her pain was not gone, and neither of them thought it ever would be, but she had taken a step towards recovery, and it was a big step.

Forgetting Johann's previous taunting, they spent the night in each other's arms, not realizing what the next few days would bring.

Please R&R! I'll try to not take so long with the next one!