Loki's boots thudded through the darkened marble hallways. They were vacant except for a few guards on duty. Everyone else had retired to bed. In his mind he played over dinner. He thought of Jane's vacant seat, the look of confusion on Thor's face at her absence and the reprimand from their father as Thor stood to go in search of her. 'She attends on time or she does not eat and we have important matters to discuss.' Thor sat obediently in response. Even after dinner his brother lingered at the request if the Allfather. Loki did not, ignoring their father's pointed look. Loki didn't care enough to even look back.
It was the concern in Thor's eyes, the melancholy look in Jane's over the past few weeks that set Loki on his search for her. He had no skills to see the future, but something warned him that she needed to be found.
Loki had long ago become familiar with the places she haunted, and it came to him as a shock that he found no evidence of her in any of them. Reluctantly, he set off to Heimdall.
"Prince Loki."
Loki swore his title was said in jest, but one could never tell with Heimdall and Loki wasn't in the mood to pry further. "Where is Jane?"
"Jane?" Heimdall asked, never turning his head. "Odd that it is you here and not your brother."
Loki glared at the man's back. "Be that as it may," he responded in annoyance, "where is she."
"I'm not sure that the Lady Jane would appreciate the presence of the god of mischief."
"I mean her no harm," Loki said suddenly, again feeling that it was imperative he find her.
"Hm. Perhaps." Heimdall paused, his face not giving away his true thoughts.
"Where is she?!" Loki demanded furiously, his temper beginning to get the best of him.
"You may find her in eastern astronomy tower. She's been there for some time."
Loki turned and walked away slowly, his mind working quickly to recall that it was a section of Asgard that had yet to be repaired from the Dark Elf attacks. It was a gaping hole in Asgard. Loki quickened his steps.
It was when he caught site of her brown hair flicking around her in the wind that he slowed his steps. Jane sat at the broken edge, legs hanging over the side. "Is this your new hiding place?"
At the familiar voice Jane stood quickly, spinning to face him and pressing her back against a column. "Loki, how did you-."
"Heimdall." He offered before she finished the question.
Jane let out an exasperated sigh and cursed her stupidity. "Of course." Noting the way his eyes narrowed on her slightly she turned away from him and leaned against the column to stare out over Asgard.
She tried to hide it, but Loki made out her red rim eyes in the dark, the stars shown to bright overhead to hide anything.
"Go away Loki," she said finally, unable to relax at the thought of him staring at her.
"Go away? Oh, is this one of those times when you'd like to be alone? A pity then that I'm not very good at following orders." She turned her head and glared at him. "Please tell me you haven't been up her the entire time in that pitiful excuse for clothing," he said, noting her bare shoulders, "and pouting."
"I'm not pouting!" She yelled and turned to face him. "Is it to much to ask to be alone!"
"Alone?" He asked with a laugh. "You go up here to be alone?" He gestured to the broken tower above their head. "There has to be safer places to accomplish that."
"I hate you," she snapped at him, not caring who he was or what he might do to her for her speaking so.
"Me? The only one who cared enough to come up and find you?" Loki asked and waited for a response. He wanted one, but she turned away again. At the back of her head he snarled silently, racking his brain for something to say. "Did you tell Thor you wanted to be alone? He seemed a bit bewildered at you absence. I dare say concerned even." She said nothing and he clenched his jaw to resist losing his temper. Maybe the truth was in order. "Or maybe he didn't care? Shouldn't he be up here offering comfort when his love is so clearly distressed? I wonder where he could have gotten off to?"
"Shut up!" She screamed in response to the words which had pierced her heart. Turning to him she blinked tears of anger. "Is that what you want to here? Does it make you happy, Loki, to see people in misery?! I'm sure you'd crow for joy to know that Thor made another mistake, something else to disappoint his father. Bringing that lowly mortal to Asgard. I'm sure you'd all be pleased to know they were right!" The words fell from her mouth and as they did so she felt sick, grasping onto the column to steady herself. "Right because I was an idiot, a foolish girl in love who now would love nothing more now then to have her mortal life back. I'd rather be an insignificant moment in the universe then live this long wretched life!" Her former mortal life teased her, the girl she was seemed to smile sadly for her, for being so foolish, for giving up what should have been. "I don't want this," She said as firmly as she could through chattering teeth.
His face remained impassive at her outburst. When she turned from him he watched her step closer to the ledge, kick off a bit of rubble as her shoe slid forward, and slowly slide her hand off the column. Loki didn't even bother with taking steps to reach Jane. He materialized behind her and wrapped and arm around her waist, yanking her back against him. "You stupid girl," he snarled into her ear.
Jane inhaled sharply from the shock of him pulling her away from the drop. It was his tight hold on her stomach which made her unable to breathe.
"Do you think you are the only one alone? The only one looked down upon? The only one damned because of where they came from?" He asked furiously into her ear, cursing her for being such a sentimental fool. Except as he listened to her shaky breathing, felt her slump forward slightly, he released his own shaky sigh and realized he wasn't angry at her for anything she'd said or the feelings she had. Loki was angry at her because she'd scared him. That brief moment where she stood at the edge and released the column had scared the hell out of him. With a deep sigh he dropped his head, his face dangerously close to her neck, and he relaxed, forcing his pounding heart to slow.
Jane swallowed past a lump in her throat. Instinct told her to fight his hold, but she didn't want to. She wanted to lean into him and leach his strength. "I can't do it," Jane whispered, praying he wouldn't ridicule her weakness this time. "I can't, it's to much. I was never meant to do this."
Loki lifted his head, and although he couldn't see the tears because of her lowered head, he could hear them. Panic surged within him. A deep rooted panic he hadn't expected. Loki needed time with her. The thought that her life might be extinguished forced him to look into a bleak future. Loki had been determined to take her from Thor, no matter how long it took, but if she was gone... "You're going to do it," he said through clenched teeth, fighting his waring emotions. "I don't care if I have to lock you in your chambers until you get this foolish idea out of your head. Don't you ever do this again, because I'll stop you and make the rest of your immortal life a living hell."
Jane lifted her head and released a shuddering breath, the force of his words momentarily making her forget about her troubles. "Why? You don't care, you-."
"Don't tell me what I feel." His tone still held traces of his earlier anger, but it slowly drained away and again he found himself sighing and lowering his head. "Promise me you won't do this again."
Jane inhaled sharply at his demand, shocked and confused as to where it came from, where anything Loki was saying came from. "Loki..."
"Swear it Jane. Swear to me that you won't do anything so foolish again and that next time you decide you want to take a flying leap or something as equally as stupid you'll tell me." He needed to hear the truth in her voice. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and realized how terribly scared he was that this might still be in her future.
"Why?" She whispered again, tilting her head just slightly to look at his bowed head. She could feel his breath against her neck and was barely able to meet his eyes from the angle. His free hand grasped her elbow and and slid down gently, fingers skimming over her skin. Her own fingers twitched in response. They slid over the top of her hand and then tangled with her own fingers, grasping them. Jane gasped softly in response to the gesture, finding herself curling her fingers with his.
Turning his head he brought his lips to her ear. "For now," he whispered, lips brushing her ear, "some things are better left unsaid. Now swear to me Jane."
Her mind whirled with the meaning behind his words. Her brain picked over them, making them out to be nothing, but her heart pounded in her chest at the implication. "I swear," she whispered finally. He sighed deeply behind her and slowly stepped back, taking her with him. After three steps, the ledge a good distance from them, she turned in his arm and released his hand to stare up at him curiously. There was no anger, no teasing, no smile, just an earnest look she couldn't remember ever seeing and she'd hazard to guess he wanted no one seeing it.
Loki ignored the proximity of her body, the tilt her her face, her parted lips. "You should get back," he said finally after noting her teeth chattering. Her brown hair shook with her head and he sighed in annoyance. With a roll of his eyes he pulled her flush against his chest and yanked the edges of his jacket around her. It wouldn't encircle her entire body, but her bare arms were covered. When she circled her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest he didn't budge. It was intimate and meant more then friendship. It shook him to the core to realize if he had been moments later he would have missed this. Missed this and possibly more.
In that moment he remembered talking to Thor those months ago. He remembered wondering if his brother was right, if Loki was to selfish, if he couldn't love. Except when she'd inched to the edge he'd felt panic and fear, an overwhelming anguish that she would be gone. Those feeling weren't simple, they weren't born of a man that couldn't feel or let alone love. It made him relax against her to realize that Thor had been wrong. Loki wasn't perfect, he was terrible most of the time, even he could admit to that, but this was real. All of it. The panic, need, desperation, anger, hurt, relief and pleasure were all things he felt in that moment, and they were to real to be nothing.
"I did-I did try and talk to Thor earlier, to tell him, but he was summoned by his father," Jane admitted quietly, needing to say it out loud, voice one of the many things that caused her pain. Jane knew that he was the last person she should have been complaining to about Thor, but there was no one else to talk to, and as odd as it sounded, it seemed Loki was all she had at the moment.
A dozen words came to mind, all mocking Thor. All biting words he could have said to damage Thor in her eyes. Except this was a game, no matter what Thor thought. There were hands to be played and actions to be taken all to get the prize. One of those moves was saying nothing. To talk badly of his brother would do nothing to improve Loki in her eyes. "Such are the lives of future kings," he stated finally, satisfied with his truthful answer. It was a neutral answer on the surface, but just as with Thor he knew it would plant a seed of doubt in her mind, one he suspected had already taken root. "That's still not reason enough to make me chase you all over Asgard and ask for Heimdall's help."
Against her will she chuckled slightly at the sound of his annoyance. A shiver coursed through her and she dug her fingers slightly into his back. A hand slid up, brushing over her bare back, and warmth flooded her body. With a sigh of content her eyes fluttered closed and she relaxed against him. "Thanks."
The green glow extinguished from between his palm and her back. Her breathing began to slow and her weight against him became heaving and he suspected she'd be dead on her feet in no time. He held her still.
There was a noise, soft enough that Jane in her young age wouldn't have been able to distinguish it from the wind. Loki did though. He looked up into the crumbling doorway and saw Thor on the opposite side of the doorway. Their eyes met, and Jane held onto him still, unaware of Thor or critical moment transpiring around her. Loki stared at his brother, daring him to intercede, to pry her from him. On instinct, Loki tightened his arms around her. She sighed in response and rubbed her face against his chest. Thor didn't do anything though, he didn't even move. There was anger in his brother's face, hurt, but Loki knew there was guilt also. Thor knew he failed Jane when Loki had not. Thor wouldn't dare make his presence known. Quietly, he walked away.
Loki relaxed again and sighed as he stared at the empty doorway. For the moment she was his. She was alive and his. Perhaps in the morning she'd be Thor's again, but he was confident now that he was one step closer to making her his indefinitely.