Loki roused from his bed at the sound of pounding on his door. Gracefully, he stood from his bed, casual clothing appearing over him in a flourish of green light, and his dagger summoned into his right hand. Slowly, he made his way to the door, holding his right arm behind his back. With a slow exhale he narrowed his eyes just slightly and opened the door to find himself staring down in confusion. "Jane," he said simply, but had no other words.
"Can I come in?" She asked apprehensively. The confusion on his face might have been comical if it weren't for her current predicament.
He nodded and stepped to the side, sending his dagger into another plane before she saw it. The illusion of his clothing also faded.
Jane turned in time to see the last of the green light disappear to reveal Loki more casual then she had ever seen him. "Oh, you were sleeping."
At her statement he glanced over the dress that she had worn earlier to dinner. "And you were not," he observed.
As an after thought she looked down at her attire and back up again. "No, I-." Jane stared at him, her words breaking off. She pursed her lips, attempting to quell her emotions and speak plainly. "Your father has offered me my mortality."
For a brief second he stared at her, then he whipped his head around to stare unseeing at the floor, his body followed next so that he could walk away from her. "Oh?" He asked, only because he had to say something to appease her while he attempted to collect himself.
"Tonight. He said I must make a decision by tomorrow. If I choose to be mortal I must return to Earth," Jane explained and watched him for some reaction, but his face was hidden from her as he stopped at a table, his back the only thing she could see. He reached out, thumbing through a book, his body perfectly at ease.
Mentally he cursed the old fool. Of course he would offer Jane her mortality back, Loki should have figured that. With Jane mortal, on Midgard, she was no longer there to distract the future king. "Isn't that kind of him," he forced himself to say and tapped his finger on the old parchment. Loki knew if she saw his face then she'd see his distress, the slight wince and draw of his brow. Loki hadn't planned for this, he had no back up plan for this scenario. It was still to soon. "And what does Thor say of his father's proposal?"
Jane ignored the fact that Loki referred to the Allfather as Thor's father. "I haven't told him."
At that he did turn to look at her, his face now confused. It was an emotion she should have expected to that statement. "You came to me first."
Jane nodded shakily. Her heard pounded and her throat seemed to swell with some emotion, fear. It made her unable to talk, to voice her thoughts and questions.
"Why?" Loki prodded when she offered no explanation. The need to know drew him closer.
Except he was to close and Jane found herself having to move away from him in order to speak. She came to open balcony doors and stared out over Asgard. "Aren't you cold?" She asked as a slight shiver ran through her.
"I'm cold by nature Jane," he said, his tone clear that she should have known this already. "Stop stalling. I find it an annoying trait."
His words held no malice and Jane had long ago become accustomed to his cutting words, which had slowly lost there sharp edges over the past few years. Jane sighed and turned to face him. "Loki, why would I talk to Thor? You and I both know that ship has sailed. I care for him, a part of me will always love him, but," she shook her head unable to keep the sadness from her tone, "that's over."
"My condolences," he drawls, her wistful tone drawing his ire. "I believe your decision is made then. If you don't mind, I'd like to return to bed." His tone was clipped and cold, his stomach filled with dread.
"Loki!" She exclaimed as he turned away from her and stalked towards the door. She hadn't expected this. This was the last thing she had planned for.
"What is it Jane?" He snaps, the ache in his chest making him lash out. "Did you come here to lament about your failed love with Thor? Spare me."
"What? No!" She took a few steps near, but stopped, almost scared to get to close. "I..." She wanted to explain. It wasn't sadness because she wanted Thor, it was sadness that she'd thought she had found happiness and she had been wrong. It was sadness because she still searched. Trying to explain that would most likely get her into more trouble though. It was probably best to move on from anything having to do with Thor. "I didn't come here to talk about Thor!" She exclaimed in annoyance. "You brought him up!" His eyes narrowed and she knew he didn't want this turned around on him. "Will you stop making this hard! I could be gone tomorrow and-."
"What Jane?!" He exclaimed and closed the distance between them to tower and glower down at her. "What is it you want from me?!" To dig the knife deeper into his heart, twist it a little further.
His anger shook her resolve and she was tempted to flee. Except she knew she couldn't walk away, this was her only chance, there would never be another. She had to know. If she was wrong then she'd be gone tomorrow and she wouldn't be there to die of embarrassment every time she looked into his face. "When I wanted to jump," Jane said plainly, the first time she had ever done so. "You made me swear to never do it again. Remember?"
Loki sighed and frowned. "How could I forget."
"And...I asked you why. You said, 'For now ,some things are better left unsaid.'" Jane searched his face for a hint of emotion. There was none. Jane pushed through her fear and continued. "I'm asking again. Why Loki? I need you to tell me now what you wouldn't say then."
"To the point aren't you?" He says, his voice losing some of its earlier edge.
"I don't have the luxury of time," Jane reminded him. "Not now."
"And what does my answer have to do with your decision Jane?" He asked, ignoring the voice in his head that told him it was he who was now stalling. "You said then that you wanted to be mortal again. I can' t see what my reasons for that night have to do with you decision."
Jane felt sick with his unwillingness to explain. She bowed her head and rubbed her forehead, fighting the tears of frustration that burned her eyes. "Please Loki," she whispered. "No, games. Not now." She looked up at him again and didn't bother to hide her pain or her plea. "I don't have the time for games. Please."
For a moment he couldn't speak, to shaken by the pain in her face, the hurt, the plea in her eyes. She was begging him and his brain argued that this wasn't how it was supposed to be, it was to soon. Yet he knew she was right, there was no time. Loki sighed, trying to let go of the tension that had built within him since her arrival. "Why do you think I was there then and he wasn't Jane?" He asked and stepped closer to her, narrowing his eyes just slightly. She was right, no more games, the game was over. He was making his last move now. "Do you know that even before that night the idiot had the nerve to question why I was actually being kind to you? The fact that you simple laughed in my direction forced him into a confrontation with me. It was exactly what I'd hoped for. I did everything in my ability then and after to make him question the possibility of a relationship with you." She seemed stricken by his revelation, but she didn't back away.
"Why?" She asked breathlessly, unsure if she wanted to know, scared that she had been wrong about everything and that it had been a cruel game the entire time.
"How else do you sabotage a relationship?" He asked plainly. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, but his heart told him if he wasn't honest then the whole thing would crumble before him, just as her relationship with Thor had. He watched her eyes lose focus and her head slowly lower. Loki looked down at the top of of her head and continued. "If it matters, I said nothing that shouldn't have been said or considered. Things that even you considered as you stood on that ledge. Odin, the other Aesir who had no faith in you. And there was Sif." Her head shot up at the mention of the warrior, but she didn't seem surprised. "Jane, there has always been Sif."
She wanted to throw up upon realizing that Loki had a part in the orchestrating her failed relationship. The blame didn't lay entirely at his feet, but she didn't underestimate his ability to get things accomplished with words. "I-I was lost," she said shakily and looked up at him. "You say it like it was all some master plan, pieces falling into place. But it was my life Loki! I was already so lost and alone and you purposely drove us further apart. Was it not enough to let it die on it's own! Did you have to have a hand it's destruction?! I was so lost I wanted to die! And you-you-."
She backed away from him and he grasped her arms to stop her. She didn't fight him though. "I may have reminded Thor of the impossibility of it," he said firmly, "but I never had any influence over his decisions or lack thereof. If you want to blame anyone blame him, blame Odin, blame the Aesir blinded by their own prejudice of you, blame Sif for centuries of unrequited love. Don't blame me for stating the obvious."
It was to much though. Part of her admitted what he said was true, but her mind couldn't help but wonder what else he may have done.
"And don't think for a moment that Thor hadn't made me doubt myself," he almost hissed through his clenched teeth. "For months I questioned his words that I had no heart and was incapable of caring for anyone but myself, to the point where I actually believed him." His voice rose in anger, his fingers flexing on her arms until he reminded himself to loosen them. "Then I found you stupidly standing at that edge ready to end it all. Why? Because you were alone. Because you felt unloved. And I wanted to grab you and shake you for having the nerve scare me with the thought of killing yourself. Alone," he said with a snarl of disgust.
"I was alone!" She yelled at him, angry that he made light of her pain, mocked it even.
"You weren't!" He snapped and yanked her against him. "If you were I wouldn't have been there! And the small things I did to push you and Thor further apart would have been insignificant if your relationship would have been strong in the first place!"
Jane pushed at his chest and to her relief he released her. Free of his hold she spun away from him and took a couple of steps to the opened balcony doors. Little moments made sense now. Small interruptions, Loki at her side before Thor could attend. They had been little things, but when you were Loki, they were all part of a bigger plan.
"What do you expect of me Jane? Loki, the god if mischief, the trickster. Did you expect me to stand idly by? If I had you'd be dead!" The possibility that she might condemn his actions broke what control he had left. "And then what of me!? To sit here wallowing in my own loneliness! What weak minded fool do you take me for?!"
Jane swallowed and turned to face the fury of Loki. "I don't take you for a fool," she said softly, trying to keep her voice firm, but her mind was full of decisions to make and the barrage of Loki's revelations. She should have known it wouldn't be so easy.
"Then what?" Loki asked and stepped closer. "You think me like Thor? So easily swayed by others?"
No, Jane definitely did not take him as that. "Stop!" She screamed suddenly. "I can't-. Just-. Why Loki?! Just answer me!"
The answer should have been clear by then. It hung between them unsaid. Loki had said it in so many words, but even he had to admit he hadn't actually given her a clear answer. "Do you love him?"
Thor. Jane shook her head. "No." Not the way he meant. Thor was someone she cared for, not someone she could love, not anymore.
"Could you love me Jane?" He asked, staring down at her and observing her reaction. "After everything? Could you love me and go to Odin and tell him that you wish to remain?"
Her breath was shaky, from the cold and his question. Loki had done so many terrible things. So many. What would happen if she said no and left. He fully admitted that he would have been lonely if she had made the leap. Jane couldn't help but wonder if he deserved to be denied love or if he needed it. Tears stung her eyes again and she looked away from him, breathing deeply to try and calm herself. "I need time, I needed more time," she whispered, and half expected him to lash out at her inability to answer him.
"I would agree," Loki said and watched her face twist with worry. Loki took a step forward and lowered his head even though she wasn't look at him. "The last time you made such an important decision you had time to consider. I assume that you'd always known the answer then. When it comes to Thor the thought of spending an eternity with him is easy, is it not?" Loki kept the disgust out of his voice, the jealousy that still lingered. Jane had been blinded by her love for the would be king. "Yet something which seemed so easy didn't turn out as you thought." She looked up at him and blinked, tears spilling on her cheeks. He watched her wipe them with the back of her hand.
What Loki said was the truth. Thor had been so easy to love. He was good, brave, and willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. She'd had years to fall in love with Thor. She'd had time to consider the idea of immortality. Now Loki stood in front of her revealing things she still wasn't quiet sure she understood. Could she really sacrifice her mortality for this last chance with someone that was the total opposite of Thor? Loki asked if she could love him. The thought scared her. Loki scared her. Except she had come to his door, willing to let his answer sway her decision, and as she considered it all she found she still needed to know. With a sigh she attempted to calm herself. "That's why I need to know," she said softly.
"Thor thought I wanted to possess you to spite him, or that I might grow tired of you. I feared he might be right. Then after I pulled you from that ledge I was furious with you, I was scared and relieved all at once and I knew then, that once again, Thor had underestimated me." Lowering his head further he brought his lips to her ear. "I knew that I could love you." He said softly and lifted his arm to trail his fingers up her arm. "Now I'm going to ask you, Jane Foster, could you let me love you? Could you love me in return?"
Jane felt his fingers wrap gently around her arm above her elbow, his warm breath brush against her ear. She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes.