CHAPTER FIVE
Alice and Huggy both stared at the man, momentarily too stunned to say a word. The man's eyes were hidden behind the dark sunglasses he wore, but, Alice's gaze was drawn to the unmistakable moles visible on his face, one low on his left cheek and a second one just below his right eye. In a gruff voice, he repeated his question, "What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?"
"Starsky…sugar…" Alice said in a trembling voice, speaking the man's name first. "Please put down the gun…you wouldn't want to shoot a couple of old friends now would you?"
"Starsky...my man…it is you…" Huggy stammered, his own voice trembling with barely repressed emotion. His knees felt weak as if he was about to collapse and his heart was pounding in his chest.
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." The man snarled "My name is Conners. Mitch Conners. I don't know anybody named Starsky." He kept the gun pointed at them but Alice noticed the trembling in his hands. Taking a hesitant step forward, she reached out and gently touched his left arm.
Smiling tenderly, she said in a gentle, soothing voice, "Its okay, Sugar. Put down the gun and then we can talk."
She felt the man's fear and sensed his hesitation. He slowly lowered the gun to his side and bowed his head but not before Alice saw a single tear slip down his cheek. Instinctively, Alice reached out and pulled the man in front of her into a heartfelt hug. The man's body tensed momentarily and then relaxed in her embrace as his resistance crumbled. The gun fell to the floor with a thud as he wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his head against her shoulder, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Alice simply stood there, holding on, as he struggled to regain his composure.
Finally, he pulled away and straightened up to his full height. In a shaky voice, he said, "What are the two of you doing here? How did you find me?"
Easing one arm around his waist, Alice slowly guided him over to the sofa and helped him to sit down. She sat down beside him and smiled at him warmly. She reached out and gently cupped his cheek in her hand, whispering softly "It's okay, baby…just relax." He flinched but didn't resist when she reached out and slowly removed the sunglasses, tossing them on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She smiled when she saw those vivid blue eyes that she remembered so well. "It's so good to see you again, darling…" she drawled.
"Man," Huggy said in a shaky voice "I could sure use a drink. It's not everyday I have one of my best friends come back from the dead."
"There's beer in the fridge," Starsky said in a quiet, subdued voice with a feeble attempt at a smile. Alice could feel the fine tremors that were still running through his bunched up muscles. She took the time to look at her old friend closely. His hair was cut short, almost in a military style, but there were still tiny curls at the nape of his neck. It was still the same rich shade of brown that she remembered with just a touch of gray at the temples. And there was no way he could hide those vivid blues eyes or that crooked smile that she remembered so well.
Other than the haircut, he still looked pretty much the same. He still had the same lean muscular build and olive toned complexion. He had put on a few extra pounds around the middle but on him it still looked good. He was even dressed the way she remembered in a pair of faded blue jeans that left very little to the imagination and a black tee shirt with a lightweight jacket. There were tiny lines around the edges of his mouth and the corners of his eyes that hadn't been there before but they added character to his face. He was still a ruggedly handsome man that most women would love to get to know better.
Huggy walked into the tiny kitchenette and pulled three beers out of the refrigerator. Walking back over to the sofa, he handed one to Alice and one to Starsky, keeping the third one for himself. He slouched down in a chair facing the sofa and looked at his old friend, still trying to get over his shock at actually finding him still alive.
Starsky opened his beer and took a long swallow, draining half the can in one long gulp. He smiled sheepishly and said, "I guess I owe you both an explanation." He repeated his earlier question, "How did the two of you find me anyway?"
"It was simply by accident. One of our investigators was down here looking for a missing girl who happened to be dancing at that bar on the edge of town. He took some pictures of her at the club and you just happened to be in the background in one of them and I saw it." Alice explained. "I wasn't even sure it was you…I mean, you are supposed to be dead, but I had to find out for sure."
"One of your investigators?" Starsky repeated in a puzzled voice.
"Oh, I'm sorry, baby," Alice said apologetically "I forget you don't know what's been going on back home in the past few years. Hutch started a private investigations firm a couple of years ago. He hired two ex-cops to work for him and gave me a job too. I finally cleaned up my act and got off the streets."
"Hutch isn't a cop anymore?" Starsky asked in a stunned voice.
"No, sugar, he isn't. He hasn't been for almost four years." She glanced at Huggy, wondering just how much she should reveal to Starsky about Hutch's present condition. She was relieved when Huggy decided to take over that part of the explanation.
"Man, Blondie fell apart when he thought you were dead. Nobody could get through to him. He crawled inside a bottle and forgot how to climb back out. Captain Dobey covered for him as long as he could but finally it got so bad that the department let him go when he refused to go to treatment."
"It's all my fault," Starsky whispered in a ragged voice. "I should never have kept running. I should have come back when I had the chance."
"Honey, can you tell us what happened?" Alice asked, gently rubbing his back with the palm of her hand. "We just want to understand why you let everyone believe that you were dead all these years."
"Yeah, and who the hell did we bury instead of you?" Huggy demanded gruffly.
"I don't know whose body they found in the alley that day…" Starsky said somberly. "I don't even know how they managed to set up everything up to make it look like it was me."
"Who?" Huggy demanded
"The Feds." Starsky said bitterly. "The fucking feds were behind everything." He shoved himself to his feet and began pacing the room restlessly. Alice and Huggy watched him, waiting for him to continue. "A few days before Hutch and I got pinned down in that alley, a couple of feds paid me a visit. They said they had inside information that Gunther's son was after me…that he intended to finish the job his father started and make sure it was done right this time. They wanted to put me in protective custody until they could find him and arrest him but I refused. I told them to stuff it…if I was going to buy it, then I was going buy it doing my job. I wasn't going to hide from anybody." Both Alice and Huggy smiled faintly. They both could just imagine the choice words Starsky had used to get that point across. "I never told Hutch about their visit because I knew it would just freak him out. He'd have drug me off somewhere in handcuffs himself to make I was safe." Starsky sighed heavily; his eyes darkening as the memories came flooding back. His voice became strained as he continued. "I don't remember much about that day in the alley. I remember getting separated from Hutch and then getting hit over the head with something. Next thing I know I'm waking up in some private hospital with a bunch of feds telling me that I'm in protective custody." He smiled thinly. "They even had me handcuffed to the bed so I couldn't try to escape. I found out later that they had kept me drugged and unconscious for over a month." His pacing increased as he kept talking. "Finally, one of them came in and told me that I was being put in the witness protection program for my own good. He said that everybody back home thought that I was dead and buried, just another cop killed in the line of duty. He even showed me newspaper articles about my murder."
Starsk sighed heavily and paused to collect his thoughts. "I started cussing him out and telling him that he couldn't force me to do anything. So, they drugged me up some more. They kept me in that place for almost six months I fought the m every chance I got." He bowed his head and angrily wiped away a tear. "I knew that Hutch…my ma…everybody I cared about had to be going through hell…especially Hutch. I had to get out of there. I had to let them know that I wasn't dead..." Starsky slumped back down on the sofa and buried his face in his hands as he relived his own nightmare. It was several minutes before he went on with his story.
"Finally, one day, one of them got careless and I managed to get away. I got hold of a gun and I ran. I found out that they had me in hid out in some little town in New Jersey, so I decided to head for New York first. I was going to tell Ma and Nicky that I was still alive." Starsky's eyes flooded with tears and his voice cracked as he went on. "But, I never got a chance to. When I got to New York, I tried calling Ma and this man answered the phone…he said that he was cop and that Ma and Nicky were both dead, that somebody had broke into the house and murdered them in their sleep. I hung up before he could ask me too many questions." The tears began to fall unnoticed down his cheeks and Huggy felt a lump in his own throat at the tragedy unfolding in Starsky's story.
"I knew they were dead because of me. I didn't know if the Feds did it because I got away from them or if Gunther was behind it…either way it didn't matter. I knew it was all my fault and I couldn't take a chance on having anybody die because of me. It was better if David Starsky stayed dead and buried. So, I just kept running." He took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled slowly, struggling to keep from breaking down. "And the longer I ran, the easier it became to forget who I was really was."
"Oh, sugar…" Alice said, breaking down in tears herself. "I'm so sorry. That must have been so horrible for you. All these years wasted…"
"Jumping at shadows," Huggy added "Wondering who's going to find you first…the Feds or Gunther."
Starsky looked at Huggy with a thin smile. "I thought about eating a bullet more than once but I just never had the guts to do it. Then, four years ago, I got tired of running and ended up here. That's when Mitch Conners was born. I found this place, got me a job with this company that does some consulting with Police departments all over the country and tried to fool myself into believing that I could pull it off. But, I couldn't let myself get too close to anyone…that was too dangerous. They'd start asking questions that I didn't have any answers to. All I know is…the Feds and Gunther are both still out there and, as far as I know, they're both still looking for me."
"Seems to me that the real question here is what do you want to do?" Huggy asked "Do you want to keep hiding for the rest of your life, looking over your shoulder, waiting for one of them to find you like we did? Or do you want to come back to Bay City with us and let your friends help you put an end to this thing once and for all?"
"No matter what I do, I'm fucked." Starsky said quietly. "If I stay here, somebody else will find me sooner or later. If I go back, I'd still be putting everybody around me in danger…I can't take that chance…"
"Then don't come back for yourself…come back for Hutch." Alice said softly. "He needs you…he's never stopped missing you. He's been killing himself a little bit each day since you've been gone. And I'm really scared…I don't think he's gonna be around much longer if he keeps it up."
"I can't…how am I supposed to face him after all these years?" Starsky cried in a strangled voice, dangerously close to the edge himself. "How am I supposed to tell him that I let him go on believing that I was dead…that I didn't have the guts to tell him the truth?"
"Baby, Hutch loves you…he's always loved you, just like you've always loved him. He'll understand when he hears the whole story." Alice told him.
"He'll hate me." Starsky whispered in a broken voice that tore at Alice's heart.
"And I couldn't live with that…"
"Hutch could never hate you." Alice reassured him. "But, it's time to stop running. It's time to do what you've always done best…find the bad guys and put them away before they can hurt anybody else."
"I don't know if I can…" He gave Alice and Huggy a half-hearted smile. "I have to think…and I can't do that with you two here."
"We'll leave on one condition." Huggy told him gruffly. "Give me your word that you'll still be here when we come back…that you won't run again."
"I can't do that, Hug…" Starsky said with brutal honesty. "I can't make you a promise that I'm not sure I can keep…"
"Fair enough," Alice said, raising her hand to silence Huggy's objections. "But, if you run…then we're going to tell Hutch everything when we get back home and then he's gonna be coming after you and you know that he'll never stop looking until he finds you."
"That's blackmail." Starsky grumbled, glaring at the petite blonde.
"You bet it is, Sugar." Alice said, as she shoved herself to her feet. She smiled and brushed her lips across Starsky's brow. "And if that isn't enough to keep you from taking off again, then I don't know what else to do."
Huggy and Alice walked to the door, pausing to give Starsky one more glance before they left. He was sitting on the couch with his face buried in his hands and more vulnerable than either of them had ever seen him before. As they climbed down the stairs to the parking lot, Alice looked at Huggy and said in a worried voice, "Do you think he'll still be here when we come back?"
"I don't know. He's pretty shaky right now." Huggy said. He sighed heavily and took a pair of sunglasses out of his shirt pocket. "I'm not sure we did him any favors by telling how Hutch has been handling things since he's been gone."
"He needed to know." Alice said "That's the only thing that might convince him to come back with us."
"I sure as hell hope that's what he decides to do. I'd hate to have to go back home and tell Hutch about this." Huggy said dryly.
"Me too." Alice said. "He'd kill both of us for not telling him before we came out here so he could come with us."
"I guess all we can do is give Starsky some time to work things out in his head and hope to God that he stays put."
"I'm gonna be praying on it all night." Alice said
"Me too," Huggy said with a heavy sigh. "Let's just hope the big man upstairs is up to listening."