If At First You Don't Succeed

by La Rosa del Desierto

"... hide all evidence that you tried. It's guaranteed to work," said Rangiku. "I do it all the time." "No wonder you don't get anything done," replied Hitsugaya. - A series of oneshots and parodies about pretty much all the main Bleach characters. Yes, that does mean Kenpachi will be a pirate at some point. Will be adding quite a few, so watch this space!

4. Uryuu

In which Uryuu perfects his Smug Look

Ichigo was casually leaning on his desk during his history lesson – absolutely not sleeping – when he suddenly heard Uryuu's voice in his ear.

"Hey, Ichigo, Chad and I were wondering –"

"OHMYGOD!" Ichigo yelled, leaping about three feet into the air. "The hell?"

Uryuu Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose. "You wouldn't think this guy defeated Aizen, would you?" he said to the tall dark teen standing beside him, ignoring Ichigo's indignant scowl. "As I was saying earlier, Chad and I were wondering whether you'd be interested in joining us for lunch today."

Ichigo frowned in confusion. "I always eat with you guys."

"That's true," agreed Uryuu. "But you just seemed so out of it that I was wondering whether or not you'd actually be getting up out of your chair at all. Class ended six minutes ago."

Ichigo's head automatically swivelled in the direction of the clock, noticing as he did so that the room was now empty. Damn it, Uryuu was right. He hated it when that happened. He tried to think of some excuse to stop Uryuu from going into Speech Mode, but that history lesson really had deadened his brain. Oh dear. "I knew that," he began lamely. "I was just waiting for you guys." Damn it, brain!

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose and a smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth.

Here it comes, Ichigo thought. Thank goodness my mind is fried. I don't have to even try to process whatever long-winded speech Uryuu's about to make.

But Uryuu smiled. And Ichigo realised what a massive mistake he'd made. Because Uryuu had now perfected his Smug Look.

Ichigo didn't think he'd ever been so annoyed at the Quincy. But now, he reflected, as he planted a foot squarely in that smug idiot's face, he could find new and creative ways of annoying the dark-haired teen to make sure that he never saw that expression ever again.

Now it was Ichigo's turn to look smug, which he did with great pleasure. He slung his bag over his shoulder and strode out of the classroom, whistling a merry tune and leaving a very angry Uryuu with a sympathetic Chad behind him.

Things were starting to look up for Ichigo Kurosaki.