CHAPTER SEVEN
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?" Hutch bellowed, wincing as the sound of his own yelling cut through his head like a knife. "STARSKY'S FUCKING DEAD AND YOU KNOW IT!" He tossed the photograph Alice had handed him to the top of the desk and glared at the petite blonde and the tall, thin black man. "THAT COULD BE ANYBODY!"
"Hutch, darling," Alice said in a slow, soothing drawl "It is Starsky. Huggy and I both saw him…we talked to him…"
"No…" Hutch said, shaking his head slowly from side to side as the color drained from his face and his voice dropped to a whisper. He shoved himself to his feet and staggered backwards until he collided with the wall. Alarmed by the look on his face, Alice jumped to her feet and reached out towards him but Hutch waved her away, shaking his head violently, warning her not to touch him.
"Hey, Blondie," Huggy said in a worried voice "I think you better sit back down before you fall down…"
"How could you?" Hutch growled in a cold, deadly voice, his 'cop' voice, the one that intimidated the most hardened criminal. Although he kept his voice low and carefully controlled, his tone sent a chill down Alice's spine. It was obvious that the big blond was outraged and using all of his faltering will power to keep from exploding. "You're supposed to be my friends! Some fucking friends! You should have told me the truth from the beginning! I should have been with you! If I had been there, then I could have made Starsky come back!" His eyes narrowed dangerously, "Now, thanks to you two, he's still out there somewhere!"
"I needed to be sure before we said anything to you!" Alice said defensively, tears shimmering in her gentle blue eyes. "I didn't want you to get your hopes up and then have it turn not to be Starsky. I was only trying to protect you!"
"I DON'T NEED ANYBODY PROTECTING ME! I NEED STARSKY!" Hutch yelled. His voice cracked on his former partner's name and his knees buckled. He slowly sank to the floor in a crumbled heap, his face a mask of such despair that it broke Alice's tender heart. She rushed to his side and knelt down beside the trembling man, gently reaching out to cradle him in her arms.
Hutch's body stiffened, resisting her touch, and pushed her away. "Leave me alone…" he snapped "I don't need your or your pity!" He saw the devastated look in Alice's eyes but he was helpless to stop the hateful words that tumbled from his lips. "I don't need either one of you! You're not my friends! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Huggy gently helped Alice to her feet and looked down at his old friend sadly. "We go back a long way, Hutch…and I know you're hurting right now...but if you wanna find Starsky, you're gonna need all the help you can get…you can't do it on your own…not this time…" Slipping a comforting arm around Alice's shoulders, he led her from the room, quietly shutting the door behind them.
After they were gone, Hutch stumbled to his feet and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the wet bar. Twisting off the cap, he took a long swallow straight from the bottle, feeling the familiar warmth as the alcohol slid down his throat. He needed something to smooth out the edges so he could think. With a trembling hand, he picked up the discarded picture and looked at the face of the man in the crowd. "Starsk?" he whispered in a subdued voice "Oh, Babe…is it really you?"
He wanted desperately to believe the story that Huggy and Alice had told him. In his heart, he knew they would never lie to him, not about something like this but, so many years of heavy drinking, mourning the loss of his other half and being alone had left him suspicious and mistrustful. In the early months following Starsky's alleged murder, he had followed every lead, no matter how slim, trying to find the men responsible for taking his partner and best friend away from him. Unable to say his own goodbye, he had turned to the bottle for solace and comfort. Now, he no longer knew how to function without a certain level of alcohol in his system. Suddenly, after all these years, he had a goal, a reason to go on, a purpose in life. He would find his missing partner, he would find Starsky, or he would die trying.
Hutch stared at the bottle in his hand, the bottle that had taken over his life, and scowled. He had to sober up so he could think like a cop again, so he could think like Starsky. It was the only chance he had of finding him, especially if Starsky didn't want to be found. With a grim determination, Hutch screwed the cap back on the bottle and put it away. His mind was still reeling from the shock he had received but, somewhere deep inside, his heart was rejoicing, the shattered pieces fusing back together again inside his chest.
A damn burst inside of the big blond, as emotions he had kept carefully locked inside of him bubbled to the surface. Grabbing the first thing he could get his hands on, he threw it across the room. Systematically, with a single-minded intent, he began to destroy his apartment. By the time he had finished trashing his possessions, he was exhausted, both mentally and physically. Slouching down in a corner of the room, he drew his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around his shins and began to cry.
Once the tears started, he couldn't stop, weeping for all the years he had lost, all the pain and suffering he had gone through without his best friend at his side.
The next three days were a blur as Hutch began to suffer from the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, his body drenched with sweat, his muscles cramping and trembling, as the booze worked its way out of his system. The urge to take a drink was overwhelming, but Hutch resisted the temptation. He wasn't doing this just for his own sake; he was doing it for Starsky. He had to conquer his own demons before he would be of any use to his missing friend.
As his mind became more focused and his thoughts cleared, Hutch knew that he owed Alice and Huggy an apology for his behavior. He knew that they had only been trying to help by checking out their theory before telling him their suspicions about the man in the picture. The idea that Starsky was really alive was still almost unbelievable, a true miracle in Hutch's eyes.
Another three days passed before Hutch finally called Alice, Huggy, Brad and Shane and asked them all to meet him at his apartment at noon. Alice and Huggy arrived first. They were both surprised by Hutch's appearance when he opened the door to let them in. He was clean shaven, his hair neatly trimmed and styled. He looked like the Hutch they had known ten years ago, instead of the disheveled wreak of a man he had become since losing Starsky. His eyes were bright and alert, the innate intelligence of the man shining through.
"Sugar, you look wonderful!" Alice said, giving Hutch a heartfelt hug and a kiss on the cheek. Hutch's cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. He was no longer accustomed to such open displays of affection from anyone. He had spent the last ten years pushing people away and keeping them at a distance. It was going to take some time to get used to interacting with people again.
Huggy grinned broadly and clasped Hutch on the shoulder. "Alice is right, man." He said "You look great. Welcome back, bro…"
"Thanks, guys." Hutch said with a sincere smile that lit up his face. "I'm glad you two got here first. I owe you both a big apology for the way I acted when you told me about Starsky."
"It's okay. We know it was a big shock." Alice said "It was a shock for us too."
"You bet it was." Huggy said with a snort. "I thought we were going on a wild goose chase. I almost had a heart attack when I saw Starsky standing there pointing a gun at us." Hutch smiled faintly at the image that sprang to mind. The smile faded from his face as he said wistfully,
"I wish you could have convinced him to come back with you."
"He's scared…he's been running for a long time." Alice pointed out "He doesn't know how to stop."
"I'm sure that you two showing up out of the blue didn't help things any." Hutch said somberly. "I can't believe that the feds did something like that to him…to all of us…"
Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Shane and Brad. Hutch motioned for everyone to have a seat and then proceeded to fill Shane and Brad in on what had happened in the past few weeks. They were both stunned to find out that David Starsky was still alive.
"What do you need us to do, Hutch?" Brad asked
"We need to handle this just like we'd handle any other investigation…except this time, I'm the primary investigator." Hutch said. He looked at Shane. "Shane, I need you to find out everything you can about the murders of Rachel and Nicholas Starsky in Brooklyn, New York approximately eight years ago." He looked at Brad "Brad, I need for you to see what you can find out about Mitch Conners and his life for the past four years in Mesa, Arizonia."
"What about us?" Alice asked, anxious to help in any way she could to reunite the two former partners.
"I need you two to use your old contacts on the street and see what you can find out about Starsky's alleged murder and all the information you can dig up on Gunther's son."
"You got it." Huggy said "What are you going to do when you get all this information?"
"Find Starsky." Hutch said with a thin smile "Even if the son of a bitch doesn't want to be found."