A two week break couldn't come soon enough for Helga. She had been finding it harder and harder to get out of bed. She only did it because she didn't want to add more stress to her fathers life. Arnold had tried several time to get her to talk about that night. But she refused to. It hadn't happened again, so she was just going to pretend it didn't happen. If only Arnold would let it drop.
Eventually, on the first day of the holiday, she dragged herself out of bed and had a shower. She was hoping to feel better, but didn't. Getting a text from Arnold, she felt her heart sink. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to try and change the subject when it came back to how she was feeling. What was happening. Getting dressed she left the house and caught a bus to Tina Park. She wandered around the park aimlessly, just wanting to take in the early morning quiet, before it filled up, and she had to go back to seeing Arnold, and Phoebe and Gerald, whom she knew Arnold had told about that night.
"Helga!" she heard a voice call out. A familiar voice. Her heart thumping she turn to see Torvald running towards her, waving.
Her heart sang.
...
...
It had been a while since Helga had felt this happy. Her and Torvald were sitting on a seat in the park, not even talking, but it was comfortable.
"So how have you been?" he asked, leaning back. Unlike with Arnold, Helga didn't hold back. It all came out. She hadn't vented to anyone at all, so it was good to finally tell someone. It ended with her in tears and him with his arms around her. This is where she wanted to be. This is where she felt safe.
He took her back to his mother's place. Helga felt a bit nervous, having not really seen or spoken to his mother since Torvald had left.
"Mom's away," he explained to her. "My uncle died. She's staying with my aunt, so I decided to come back to town for a break."
Helga felt better. He went and got them a drink, then came back and took a seat next to her.
"So what happened?" he asked, taking a swig. Suddenly Helga felt like she was under a microscope.
"What are you, a psychologist now?" she snapped. Torvald raised his eyebrows.
"I was asking a question, you don't have to answer it," he told her, taking another drink and continuing to watch her. "Maybe you had a panic attack or something?"
"I don't panic," Helga sad to him, glaring.
"Except around rats, midget's and clowns," he pointed out.
"Shut up," she said, rolling her eyes, but smiling.
"That's what I like to see," he said. "You should always smile."
Helga blushed and looked away.
"So, Arnold huh?" he asked. Helga looked up at him apologetically. Torvald laughed. "It's okay, Helga. I'm sort of seeing someone myself."
"So it was a good idea to break up," Helga said. Torvald shrugged.
"Doesn't mean I don't think about you and wonder how your doing, though," he told her.
"How have you been doing?" she asked.
"Pretty good. I could do with you there for tutoring," he said. "The guy I've got helping me out is great and all, but he's not my type."
Helga laughed. God, she missed his sense of humor. Being with him was always so much fun. He was even able to bring humor to the most serious of issues, where Arnold was like a bull in a china shop.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked.
"Depends," Torvald said, getting a look of suspicion over his face.
"What's your definition of the word slut?" she asked. Torvald spat the soda in his mouth out from shock. "That would have been impressive if it weren't so gross."
"Why would you ask me something like that?" he asked. Helga shrugged.
"Your a guy, and we girls . . . well, you know," she said. Torvald narrowed his eyes.
"Your not one, not in my books," he said. "Unless your not telling me something."
"No -"
"You girls are so hung up on that shit, you know that?" Torvald said. "A girl doesn't even need to have sex, she just has to be pretty, or look nice and you girls jump all over the poor thing branding her a slut. What is that all about? And now your doing it to yourself."
Helga looked away.
"Look, a slut is a girl who goes around, sleeping with multiple, random guys because, I don't know, maybe she likes it, or has commitment issues, who knows what anyone's reasons are, including a guys," he said. "You think guys don't go sleeping around? Slut covers them too, you know."
Helga was looking at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. Torvald blushed.
"Yeah, so Sian may be a bit of a feminist . . ."
Helga laughed. "Oh my God, you've been brainwashed by a feminist."
"Not brainwashed," he said. "She has chosen to hold out til marriage, and she actually cops flack for it. From her fellow feminists, to ad insult to injury. She now compares it to religion. So many different "factions" and ideals going on, that they're all attacking each other now."
Helga thought on that, and saw some truth to it, she supposed. She wasn't big in the movement. She was very much, 'This is how I'm going to do it, and that's that.'
"Anyway, back to you," Torvald said. "I think you should maybe talk to Arnold. Just like you talked to me."
"But-"
"He cares about you, Helga, or he wouldn't be so worried about you," Torvald told her. "How do you feel about him?"
Helga blushed.
"There, see? Give him a chance," he said, leaning back. "Also, you haven't said thank you for the present."
"I actually haven't even opened it yet."
...
...
Arnold went an answered the door when he heard knocking. opening it he found a sheepish looking Helga standing there.
"Hi," she said shyly.
Arnold just gave her a hug, not saying anything for a while. Helga hugged him back.
"Where were you?" he asked.
"Honestly?" she asked back, looking up at him through her lashes. Arnold nodded. "Talking to Torvald."
"Torvald?" Arnold asked sharply. "I thought he was away at College?"
Helga flinched a bit at the sharp tone in his voice. This was hard enough without him being angry about her seeing Torvald.
"He's on break," she told him. "Listen, I want to talk to you, but if your going to be mad about Torvald being in town, I'll walk away now."
Arnold was quiet for a moment, before suddenly sighing.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Come in."
Helga entered, and then Arnold led her up to his room. She sat on his bed, expecting him to follow her, but he didn't. Instead he closed the door and leaned against his bookcase.
"So what's happening?" he asked. He sounded like someone was strangling him and she knew why. He was probably expecting her to break up with him.
"That night . . ." she started. Arnold seeming to realize she wasn't about to break up with him came over and sat down beside her, letting his guard down. "I don't know what happened, exactly."
"I thought you were going to die or something," Arnold admitted. "It was so scary. One minute your talking to me, the next you weren't responding and you looked like you were going to pass out or something and like you couldn't breathe."
"I couldn't," she admitted. "But what set it off. It's going to sound stupid, and it's really, really, embarrassing for me to admit to. But when we were together on the couch I was having feelings."
"Okay," Arnold said. "What like, 'I love you' feelings?"
Helga blushed and involuntarily smiled. "Uh, more like, 'I really want to be intimate with you' feelings."
Realization dawned on Arnold, and his cheeks went pink. "Oh." Then he laughed a bit.
"What's so funny?" Helga asked, hoping it would cheer her up.
"I have those feelings and thoughts all the time," he said.
"Yeah but . . . I wonder sometimes . . ." she said, drifting off.
"Wonder what?" he asked.
"If your only with me because you know I've done it before and you think I'll be, you know . . ."
"Easy?" Arnold suggested. Helga nodded. "I'd use a lot of words to describe you, Helga, and have done over the years. But trust me, when it comes to you, easy, has never been one of them."
Helga smirked. "Really? You don't think I'm, you know, slutty?"
"Because you had sex with your previous boyfriend?" he asked. "Look, I wont say that it doesn't bother me. It kind of does. But mostly because somehow I'm going to have to live up to him and I don't have the experience that he has. I'm more worried about disappointing you."
"Leastly?" she asked.
"That I wont be your first," he admitted. "I never had sex with Annie, because she didn't set that part of my me ablaze. You do. You always do."
"I think maybe we're looking at this the wrong way," Helga said.
"What do you mean?" Arnold asked, curious.
"Well, we could always look at it this way," she said, moving toward him and wrapping her arms around his neck. He wrapped his around her waist. "It will always be our first time with each other."
They smiled at each other and kissed.
...
...
Helga finally made it home, and told her dad about their invite to have dinner with Arnold's family. He just nodded and continued watching TV. She worried about him. He was becoming more and more withdrawn now. She went upstairs and opened her unmentionables drawer, so she could remove a small present from the back. It was the present Torvald had given her the day he graduated. Helga had come home, put it in her drawer, then kind of forgotten about it. She felt bad for that.
She sat on her bed and unwrapped it. 'What can it be?' she asked herself, over and over. She let out a little giggle. She felt like she was a small child again, opening presents on Christmas morning or her birthday. A small velvet box was there and she carefully opened it. There was a folded note, which she picked up. It was covering half a heart.
"Be Fri?" she asked, a look of confusion coming across her face. She opened the note.
No matter what happens,
or where our lives take us,
you'll always be my best friend
and can count on me.
Love, Torvald
...
...