I really hope you all are ready!
There was a time in my life when I hated running. I must have been around 13 when Mason forced me on my first run. I had huffed and puffed, and complained the entire time. But he never stopped making me run. He would wake me up at 5 am every morning and take me with him. He had told me that some day I would be grateful he was doing this, that some day I would understand everything running had to offer. I always thought he was crazy, there was no way I would ever enjoy running. It was tiring, and all I wanted to do was sleep in.
I have to admit that Mason had been right. I found myself even after he stopped running with me waking up at 5 am to run. I would wake up, run a few miles, come back and shower, and of course go back to bed. It was a routine, something I needed to do. It was also the one time in the day when I felt like it was really just me in my head. There was no one else but me, the outdoors, and my need to run.
I'm not sure if my need to run was to stay fit, or because deep inside I wanted to literally run away. I liked Montana a lot better than the other places Mason had dragged us through. Montana although in the middle of no where was actually quite peaceful. It was where our mother had raised us, and when she left Mason thought a change would do us well, but in the end we ended back here, where our roots grew deep. Dimitri's cabin was just an example of what it had to offer. Peace and distance from the crazy outside world, and it was amazing.
I thought moving in with Dimitri would stop my running, but in actuality I found myself running even more. Dimitri joined me every morning and night on a run. Surprisingly he was a great runner. You would think he would look weird with his size and long legs, but instead he made it look like he was doing the most exquisite ballet. Dimitri had to be the most graceful six foot seven inches person in the entire world. And it was like he knew the running code, there was no talking, no physical contact, just us and the woods that surrounded us.
I could feel the air warming up around me as the sun was starting to rise. Summer had come and gone this year far too quickly, it never seemed to ever warm up. But now the chill air of fall was coming and I welcomed it on these runs. I could see my breath in small puffs, I could hear my lungs working against the cold. Best of all though was I could feel myself. Things had not been easy, but deep down I knew they could be worse.
I was using this mornings run to think about Mason. To really think about what he had said to me a few days ago. He had barged into the bakery demanding to see his sister. Both Christian and Dimitri had come forth and tried to stop him. He had been forceful and demanding, screaming for me to come out of the kitchen, I didn't though. I couldn't come out because I could not face him, not yet. I had no idea what I was going to tell him, and I feared all he would do was feed me even more lies.
As I ran today though, I started seeing things in a different light. I held the upper hand in Mason and I's relationship. Maybe I could use that to get him to tell me the truth, the real truth, maybe he would tell me more than he was suppose to. I doubted that but it was worth a try, not only that but I could not keep up the charade that I was fine with us never talking about the problems we had. I stopped suddenly putting my hands to my thighs, my pants louder than usual.
"You OK?" Dimitri noticed and doubled back to check up on me. Always the caring worry bug, he was. Not that I minded it was nice having someone care enough about me to turn around to ask questions, to not lie to me.
"Are... Are you crying Roza?" His question caught me off guard, and as I brought my hands to my cheek there were traitor tears streaming down them.
"I.. I.. God I don't even know why I'm crying." A hipcup left my lips along with a small laugh and soon I was engulfed in a strong hug, my face against Dimitri's chest.
"It's all going to be fine love." He pulled me away so he could look into my eyes, pushing away some stray strands of hair.
"I need to talk to Mason." I thought he would flinch or tell me not to, but like always he surprised me.
"He can meet you at the bakery if he wants, that way I can close it down and you won't be alone." He smiled at me and all I could do was nod.
After setting up a time with Mason, taking a shower, and eating a healthy, yes healthy breakfast, Dimitri and I set off to work. I would be lying if I said I was not nervous, cause I really and truly was. Mason was my brother, yes, but lately I felt like I knew nothing about him. It was like everything we had ever had was just one big lie. I know it was wrong, there was no way he could lie to me about everything, but when someone loses your trust you cannot help but think that way. I just wanted to know why Mason had done what he did, and why he continued to let me believe my mother had just abandoned us.
I felt so bad for hating my mother, I held this guilt inside that I did not even know was even possible. I wanted nothing more than to turn back time and go running into my mother awaiting arms. How could he be so cold as to not tell me when she was laying there on her death bed as we all watched. I spent four years hating my mother, all over a fucking lie. I was trying to not get myself worked up but it was hard not to. There was so much he knew, that he was not telling.
There was too much Mason was dictating about my life, and I did not want that anymore. He could not just pick and choose what I knew and didn't know. I did not need to be sheltered, I was a big girl, not only that if there was danger I should know so I could protect myself, and not have to count on someone else to do it.
I knew Dimitri was nervous, I knew he was scared about what was to come, but he never once tried to stop me. He respected me and my opinions and stood behind me no matter what. We both had a lot of questions, and I felt bad that none of his had been answered.
It had now been close to three months since his family had been denied access to the states, three months of living in a hotel, and three months of nothing changing. Their Visa's were up in limbo, and they kept being told that it was being worked on. Something I was starting to doubt, and even if they were it was probably their last thing on their to do list. I needed to somehow talk to Abe. He knew what was going on, and I felt like he should tell Dimitri so he would worry less about it.
"It's going to be fine Rose." I had been sitting at an empty bench waiting for Mason when Christian joined me.
"I know. It's just so much you know, so much I don't know its scary." He nodded at me then reached across the table and took my hands in his.
"You're not alone. You have Dimitri and me, and let us not forget about Lissa. When the going gets tough we will always be here for you. Whatever Mason has to say to you, we will be here in the end." I almost wanted to laugh at his words, yes they were touching, but they were coming out of Christian. I decided against it and just squeezed his hands back.
"Thanks that means a lot. You don't have to stay you know, you can go meet Lissa." Both Dimitri and him insisted on staying in the back while I talked to Mason, though I appreciated it, I did not want them wasting their time.
"I'll be in the back with Dimitri. Just holler if you need us." He got up quickly before I could decline his offer. Dimitri had stepped out starting his cleaning process, he gave me a small smile before turning back to work.
The bell going off made me flinch, and something told me Mason was not alone. I don't know what told me this, but when I looked at the door I knew I had been right. Next to Mason was an unreadable Abe. Why Mason brought him was beyond me. Maybe Abe was going to talk to Dimitri, let him know about his family. Or maybe Mason had something to tell me that was really going to set me off. They both walked over to the bench and took the seat across from me.
Dimitri was behind the counter now putting away anything that had not been sold. His eyes darkened at the sight of Abe. Just like me he did not trust the man. We knew he held most of the answers but that did not mean he was a trustable person. And him being here just made everything a little worse. I had thought it was going to just be Mason, and he then turned around and brought Abe.
"Ah how are you today Kizm?" I was confused by his strange word and was about to say something when I heard Dimitri drop a box.
I looked over and he stood frozen. I had no idea what was going on, but whatever Abe had said had sent Dimitri into shock. Dimitri's gaze turned cold as it focused on Abe. He kept looking between Abe and I and then something suddenly clicked, something I had no idea to. What the hell was going on? I turned to Abe, demanding answers with just one look.
"I suppose we should talk." Abe gave Dimitri one last glare and then turned to me. "Did your mother ever tell you who your father was?" Where the hell had this come from? Was Abe seriously going to have this conversation with me.
"I don't know she said he was Turkish or something." I watched as Dimitri came closer to me. His eyes still flickering between Abe and I, except now he was studying Mason in confusion.
"He is Turkish. Did you know I'm from Turkey." Everything froze. My mind for a second blanked until everything came crashing.
I took in Abe's eyes, his tan complexion, I took in everything all at once. His eyes so much like mine, his hair dark and wild. No. No. No. No. This was not happening. There was no way in hell that this man, no! I could not believe what he was trying to tell me. It could not be true. But yet looking at him was all the proof I needed. I did not look like my mother, I looked like like like my father.
"No. No. No. NO!" I stood up quickly and in an instant Dimitri was by my side. His hands cupping my cheeks, his eyes boring into mine, trying to tell me everything was going to be fine.
"Dimitri no, he can't be!" I refused to believe that this man was m father. He had been here all along and had never been part of my life. God could my past be anymore fucked up?
"Kizm come back here and we can talk." I looked back at Abe whose eyes had softened. He looked calm and collected, the complete opposite of what Mason looked. Then I noticed what he was looking at. He was focused on Dimitri and I. The way we were touching screamed couple. But I had no time to care.
"Rose he said sit." Mason's word earned him a glare from both Dimitri and my so called father. He didn't even cringe, oh he was mad. Though he had no reason to be. What the hell was going on, last time I checked he had told me to go after Dimitri.
"What your brother meant to say, was please sit so we can discuss this. Dimitri is more than welcome to sit next to you." Abe sent a look at Mason, and he sank in his seat. I grabbed Dimitri's hand and sat down. He put a comforting arm around my shoulders and I nodded to Abe so he could continue.
"I started off working for the guardians around the same time your mother did. I worked my way up, while all she wanted to do was guard. We met when I was almost at the top, and well I fell for her. It was something that was not suppose to happen." He smiled sadly, and he looked lost in thought.
"Time and time again she denied my advances, but I kept trying. I stopped completely when she fell pregnant with Mason." I knew my eyes widened, Mason was only my half brother, another lie. I had been told we all were from the same father.
"My heart was broken so I went to Russia. That is where I met your mother." He looked to Dimitri and I felt him stiffen next to me. "She was pregnant as Rose may have already told you and I helped her. But time and time again she let your father come into the picture." Dimitri's facial expression showed total confusion. And I knew why, he thought his father was a good man. The man I had described before had been evil, and used Olena.
"I'm sorry Dimitri but your father was not the man you thought he was. Your father worked for himself. He was a mean and cruel man. Married to his wife, but not faithful. He wanted to play family with Olena, but he wanted to be in control." This was a hard pill to swallow, and I could not imagine what Dimitri was feeling. He had thought his father was a great man, a wronged man.
"And before you ask I have no idea who he was. Every time I visited he would be gone. I begged Olena time and time again to leave him, to not let him in the house, but she claimed she loved him. I once harbored feelings for your mother, but she never let me in, she was too caught up on that man." This was all just getting too twisted, my mind was started to get lost confused.
"Finally I gave up on trying to stop her. I stopped my visits. And I came back to the states. This time though Janine decided she wanted to give me a chance. We were happy, content, that was until she fell pregnant with you Kizm. She hated me for it." He reached across the table and I let him grab one of my hands.
"I swear I wanted to be a part of your life, but she told me she would move and I would never see you if I tried. So I backed away. I shouldn't have I should have fought to see you, to be in your life." He shook his head and tears glazed over in his eyes. This was too much, I did not know how to react.
"And as you may know the rest is history." He pulled his hands away, and looked away coughing to try and stop the tears.
"What about Eddie?" Both Mason and him stiffened.
"Eddie's father is Victor." Mason's voice was cold, hard. Victor, the man that stole my mother away. Why would she sleep with him?
"He raped her. He caught her alone, drugged her and had his way with her. I tried so hard to comfort her, but she would not have it, she wanted to be left alone. And after she had Eddie she acted like nothing had happened, like everything was fine." Abe looked angry but was still collected. I lost all self control.
"You let her go to him even though you knew she was raped?" I stood up from my seat and Dimitri did nothing to stop me, he was still lost in his own world. His world, his life was all lies too.
"How could this happen? Why are you doing this? Do you just want to fucking shatter everything we have every known?" I grabbed Dimitri's hand and eased him up. "Just leave, just fucking leave."
"It was all a lie?" Dimitri's soft voice startled me, as he looked to Abe for answers.
"I'm sorry Dimitri. I really am. But your father was a bad man. One I am still trying to find. Olena will always be someone I love and care for, but she refuses to tell me who he was. And he all but disappeared off the face of the planet." Abe reached out for Dimitri but he cringed away.
"Rose is right you should leave. We need time to... think." Abe nodded and started to walk out but Mason was not budging.
"You cannot act like this Rose. Life is not all pretty and pink. Things suck, so what? Deal with it. You wanted to be an adult well here is your chance. Leave this dump and this loser and come home where you belong." The only thing that answered Mason was a slap across the face. How dare he?
"You are just amazing, do you know that? You lie and lie to me time and time again. You get a chance to make amends and you still fuck it up. How is it that my absentee father has more of a chance of forgiveness than you? Huh?" It was true, right now I was willing to let Abe into my life, but Mason, not so much.
"Rose please, just come home, we can talk more there. I just need to protect you. You have no idea what is going on, what is going to happen." His eyes were pleading, but Abe had had enough.
"You leave her be Mason. Don't you see what you are doing?" Abe was now in his face, and Mason flinched away. "You're making this worse. You were suppose to fix this, instead you have made it harder, harder to protect her. I don't blame her for leaving. I don't blame her for being mad, she has all the right to be." The old man was surprising me.
"I am sorry you two. I hate to bring you both such bad information. Especially you Dimitri. You're a great man, and I really hope things work out for you two. You have my support and my blessing, if you need anything, anything at all call." He handed Dimitri a card, Dimitri took it without a word.
Abe grabbed Mason and practically dragged him out the door. Had this really just happened? What the hell was going on? We had both just gotten some answers but they only led to even more questions. There was still something going on that neither of us knew, and this something was not good. Mason was protective of me, but he was scared of something big, something neither him or Abe was telling us about. Something that I suddenly thought had to do with Victor.
"Dimitri where are you going?" Dimitri had gotten out of my hold and was heading after my father and brother.
"How can I get more answers?" Abe froze and turned back, a grim look across his face.
"I'd rather you not Dimitri. Just let me handle it please." Abe was practically begging Dimitri to let it go, but I knew better, he needed answers, and nothing was going to stop him.
"No. I want answers, I need answers, and if my family is in danger I deserve to know how and why." I knew the answer before Abe even said it, and fear coursed through me.
"Join the guardians. Join us, do the training, and you will have access to a lot of the things I know." How could he? How dare he lead Dimitri straight into danger.
"Dimitri please!" I grabbed him trying to pull him inside. I feared if he went to the guardians I would lose him forever, and I could not lose him, not when things were going so well between us. I loved him too much to let him do this.
"I'll be there Monday." And with that Abe and Mason sped off and I started crying. Why was he doing this? Why would Abe let him?
"Dimitri please no!" His eyes met mine and I saw how bad he felt for doing this, but there was determination in them. I knew this was a battle I was going to lose, but I had to try.
"I have to Rose. I should have never sent you in there. All along it was me that should have gone. Rose I have to." I had no idea what emotion I should let run wild. I was so angry, but yet so scared and confused. I felt like I no longer had any control of my life. He couldn't do this to me, he was the only person who had never let me down.
"I can't Dimitri. I just can't let you do this. There has to be another way." I knew there wasn't, but I could not bare to lose everyone I loved.
"Rose you know that's not true. Please lets just go home." I couldn't though. I felt betrayed. He told me we would leave the guardians be, that it was too dangerous. And yet here he was ready to join them, ready to leave me.
"No, I'm not leaving with you." I knew my words hurt him, but I needed time, time to think about everything. So I ran off.
I ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore. Dimitri did not even try coming after me, he knew I needed time and space, but I still hoped he would have. Tears were now leaking out like a broken faucet. I just could not lose him. We had worked so hard to get where we were. Everything was suppose to go right from now on. Life was just an evil and cruel thing. I just wanted him safe, I wanted our happy ending, it was apparently too much to ask for.
"Are you ok?" I jumped a little at his voice and was about to yell at him to leave me alone, but when I looked into his eyes I knew he was truly worried about me.
"I... I.." And I broke down. Adrian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into the cafe he was just locking down.
"It's ok Rose just breath. Come one let me make you some tea." He sat me at a chair and disappeared for a few. He came back handing me a cup.
"Thank you." The tears had slowed down. I took a few sips and I was starting to feel a little better. Adrian was constantly flirting with me, but I knew deep down he was a nice guy. He was proving it right now, he was worried and I knew he was not going to hit on me, not now.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head and he let it go. He looked like he wanted to push but knew better of it.
"Can I stay with you? Just for the night, I just don't want to be found." I had no idea why I was doing this, but I needed time to think, time to calm down. And I could trust him, he was a friend.
"Of course, come on I was heading home now." He helped me up and led me to his car. I looked around and was met with Dimitri's brown eyes. They looked hurt, but I could not worry about that now. I needed time, and as he watched me I knew he was just trying to make sure I was safe. Half way to Adrians place I got a text from Dimitri.
I love you -D
I couldn't help but smile. I knew I was over reacting, but I just needed time. Tomorrow I would go back with Dimitri and fix everything, but right now I needed an escape. Adrian knew nothing about what was going on, and I knew I could trust him. After what happened with him at the bakery he had come to apologize, he had even said sorry to Dimitri. He would come into the bakery and talk to all of us. I knew he still harbored feelings for me, but it was not something he was going to push unless I told him it was ok to. He gave his word to never push the subject again.
I love you -R
I needed him to know that I did, cause I really did. He was my one true love. My first love, and I was going to work things out with him. Just not tonight. Tomorrow we would fix everything, and even though I hated it I would let him go to the guardians. I knew it was something he needed to do, I had to trust that Abe would keep him safe.
Adrian's apartment screamed money. I had no idea why he even worked at the cafe. Maybe because he was so bored sitting at home doing nothing. He led me to a spare bedroom and told me I could shower, while he ordered dinner. I used the time to shower in hot water and let everything wash away. Today had sucked but tomorrow had to be better. The hot water did wonders for me, and I was really starting to be embarrassed at my over reaction, maybe I would go to Dimitri tonight.
I put on some clothes Adrian had put out for me and walked out to his living room. He had set up chinese take out on the coffee table and was sitting there waiting for me. I sat down and we ate in silence. He would look over my way every once in a while but he never asked what was going on. He gave me my space and I appreciated it. I was not ready to talk, at least not yet. After dinner and a movie I needed to talk. I needed someone else to know what was going on.
"I found out who my father is today." Adrian sat back and acted like finding out who your father was after 18 years was normal.
"Yea he anyone cool." I had to laugh at him, he was making me feel better.
"Eh I don't know about that. Some big shot at the guardians." He laughed at this, and then grabbed my hand.
"It's ok if you're mad, I understand." I nodded at him and he leaned in.
I was a little thrown off but thought nothing of it. He knew I was with Dimitri, he had come back and apologized. So I never thought he would take advantage of the situation. Adrian leaned in closer and before I could react his lips were touching mine. My eyes remained open, and my lips never moved. What the hell was he doing. God he had read all the signs wrong. I pulled away and Adrian's eyes fluttered open. Hurt was clear in his eyes, but he had just crossed the line.
I stood up quickly, and wiped my mouth on my arm. This hurt him even more, but I could not believe he had just done that. After all the talks we had, had I thought he got the message. He was a great guy, but he was not the guy for me. I never once led him on. I needed a friend and he offered to be one. How could I be so stupid. How could this happen right now? Dimitri was going to hate me, and blame me for this. And it was all my fault, I suppose I was asking for it by letting me take him to his place. God I had been so stupid, I should have called Lissa.
"Rose I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." But it was useless, yes he shouldn't have but I let him.
"I need to go." I whipped out my phone and called the only person who wouldn't judge me. I needed to get away from Adrian, he had betrayed my trust, something I thought he would never do.
"Hello." Lissa's voice sounded like heaven to me.
"Please Liss pick me up." She did not even flinch when I told her I was I Adrian's and she made it there in record time.
"Oh god Liss I fucked up." She wrapped her arms around me, and pulled me to the car. I watched Adrian watch us, his eyes full of regret.
How could this be happening? Things were just getting worse and worse. Dimitri was going to leave me. Hate me forever. And the guardians were going to get him killed. My tears turned into sobs, and Liss had to get Andre to carry me inside. He never asked what was wrong, Mason probably already told him, but I did not care. I felt like everything was out of my control and nothing could ever make it better.
I soon fell asleep in Lissa's arms, her repeating over and over that everything was fine. Only thing was that I knew it wasn't, the worse was yet to come.
Yea I already know.. Let me guess.. You hate me? How could I? Ahhhh? Fix it? Just remember if you kill me I can't continue the story and you will never know. Well all I can say is stick around and see how this works out, or not? Tell me what you think of Abe being her dad? Who is Dimitri's dad? How bad do you feel for him? Why must Adrian do this? And will it all work out? I am cruel and evil.. But admit it you love this! Review and I shall update.. You know how it works!