This chapter is dedicated to leesy1... Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy!
I was tired, sore, and hungry. And yes, I was still heart broken. Though I was still holding on to the last thread of hope I had. It was not an easy task, seeing as over a month had gone by since the last time I saw and or talked to Dimitri, but I knew deep down inside, something was going to happen. The problem was I had no idea if it was going to be positive or negative. I was leaning towards the good, but with the way things had been going I had no idea. I hoped all my negative thoughts were wrong, but then again, it had been a month. He still had about one more week before his training was done, and that would leave me with one more week, of wondering, and hoping. It was something that was driving me insane.
I would be lying though if I said I wasn't mad, because I was. Actually I was quite furious with him. The way things had ended, though a break according to Lissa was not the end, was just plain mean. The whole time he had planned on going on a break, he had Lissa ready to take me to Christian's, but I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if I was the one who had told him about the kiss. Would he have said we could work things out? Or did he ask for the break because he feared what would happen after he joined the guardians? I had so many questions for him, and I could only hope one day he would give me the answers.
I had been doing a great job of staying busy, but it did not mean that mind was not always thinking about everything that had happened a month ago, especially with Dimitri. Along with my online classes, I had also enrolled myself in a self defense class. Anything and everything to keep myself busy. Between my classes, training with Christian, my self defense class, and learning how to cook some more things, I had almost had no time to think about how messed up things had gotten. Thinking back, I should have seen this coming. I was so eager to get answers, I should have seen how desperate Dimitri was for them as well. Dimitri needed so many more answers than I did.
Abe had basically told him if he wanted to know he would have to join. My father, ugh, I still could not believe it. He had tried calling me on more than one occasion, I only picked up the phone once. And the only thing I wanted from him was to know that Dimitri was doing well. He had answered my question, but left me craving more. Dimitri was a great trainee, and would soon be done. That was all he told me. He had asked me over to dinner at his place, but that was not something I was ready to do. I had distanced myself from my old life, and now I feared going back to it. The only thing I needed from the past was Dimitri, and the answers he still owed me. Maybe some day I would let Abe in, but today was not the day.
A knock at the door brought my attention from my online class. A distraction that was fully and completely welcomed. Walking to the door I could not help but worry about who was at the door. Christian was at work and since I had been here only one other person visited, and that was Lissa. I figured it was someone trying to sell things and readied myself to yell at them. When I opened the door, my mouth opened but nothing came out. I was not expecting who was there, and I immediately wanted to slam the door shut on their face.
"Please, just give me a minute of your time." Adrian stood at my door, looking almost nothing like himself. He had cut his hair only leaving just enough for a light messy look, and he was wearing what looked like a uniform, if I was remembering correctly it was the same one Mason wore on a daily basis, no fucking way.
"Please Rose just a few minutes of your time and I'll leave I promise." Inhaling deeply, and preparing myself for whatever he had to say I nodded and stepped aside so he could come in. I had no idea why he was here, but I feared for the worse, why had Adrian joined the guardians? It just did not seem right.
Adrian was the last person I would have expected to come knocking on the door. He was also the last person I expected to join the guardians, I had no idea as to why he would do it. His family was from money, he had a trust fund set up that would let him live life comfortably for the rest of forever. Yet here he was in front of my in guardian attire. Looking closer at him I saw he had gained some muscle, he wasn't as lanky as he use to be. His fingers seemed rough and calloused, and I nearly laughed at the sight. This was the man who hated working at the cafe, because it was too much work, yet he had done the guardian training.
"Your timer is ticking, what do you want?" I wanted to be nicer, but the last time I had seen him he had taken advantage of me, and the situation. I thought he was my friend, but instead he ruined things between Dimitri and I, well knowing I loved him more than anything.
"I came to apologize Rose." I stared at him in disbelief, he was being genuine. "I messed up that day. I thought you came with me because you wanted me, when in reality you needed me as your friend. I am sorry I kissed you, and I am sorry I told Dimitri, I know I messed things up with the two of you." All I could do was snort. Mess up was an understatement, he had ruined us, and made Dimitri even more insecure.
"Yea you did." I walked a few feet away and then turned back around. "I love him Adrian. Do you have any idea how hard this last month has been? I thought he was the one, I still think that, and him... God I am so mad at both of you. First you take advantage and then he dumps me like I'm yesterdays trash." All I could do was glare at him. I did not know who I was mad at anymore, anger was just filling me completely. I had been holding a lot back, and now having Adrian here seemed to make everything resurface.
"He talked about you the whole time." I looked up confused. What was he talking about? And who?
"Who?"
"Who do you think Rose." He ran a hand through his hair, but with it so short it lost the effect it use to have. "Dimitri talked about you night and day, I was his battle buddy. We ended up talking a lot, though at first I thought he was going to kill me." He laughed at the memory and I stepped forward intrigued.
"What did he say?" I had wondered time and time again if Dimitri was thinking of me, or if he had gotten over me thinking it was best if we never got back together. The last thought scared me more than I would admit.
"That he missed you. That he wished things were different. That he wanted to talk to you but didn't know how to go about it. He was insecure thinking you deserved better, thinking I could give you something he couldn't. I told him he was wrong, and I think he finally sees it." He stepped closer to me, boring his eyes into mine. "Come to Lissa's on Thanksgiving, he's going to be there, yes a bunch of guardians, including your father and Mason as well, but go for him Rose. He's scared to call you thinking it's too late. Please."
"Since when have you been his number one fan. Plus why should I? He should come to me. He was the one who left, he was the one who went and joined the guardians. He chose them over me." Why did I have to fucking go to him. I had done nothing wrong, but yet I was the one being punished, Dimitri Belikov was going to have to try harder than sending his little trained puppy.
"He didn't send me. I know you're thinking that. I'm doing this because he may not show it, but inside he's falling apart. He needs you, but he's too stubborn to admit it. He's also certain you won't take him back. And it seems like you're being stubborn too, neither one of you want to make the first move, probably thinking the other will do it first." I laughed and started to pace in front of Adrian.
"And what makes him think he deserves to get me back. He used me! He used me, threw me away, and did not even give me a reason as to why." How dare he think he could leave me and them some day it would work out. "I'm worth more than what he did Adrian."
"Rose I don't know what else to say to convince you." Adrian stopped my pacing by putting one hand on my shoulder. "Do you love him?"
Did I still love Dimitri? After he dropped me, and never called. After I had suffered this whole month, thinking about him and only him. Did I love Dimitri right now in this instant? I knew the answer, I had always known it. The problem was, was I ready to admit it and do something about it. Because the five months Dimitri and I had been together meant so much to me, but was it worth what he had done, what I had gone through the last month.
"Yes. More than anything." And I did, I loved Dimitri, and I knew deep down inside I always would. There was nothing in the world that he could do to make me stop loving him.
"Then come to Lissa's on Thanksgiving. Talk to him, please." I nodded to him, and he hugged me quickly before turning away to walk out.
"Adrain." He turned slowly with a small sad smile on his face. "You're forgiven, and thank you."
"Don't mention it. See you Thursday." With that Adrian quickly left, leaving me full of thoughts. I knew showing up was going to be a lot harder than it seemed, a month was a long time to be without someone, a lot could change in a month, but yet my love for him had now. I still loved him, still wanted and needed him.
I could understand why Dimitri had not called me, it was slightly the same reason I had not called him. We both thought the other needed more time, maybe we had both been wrong to not call, but Dimitri had been the one to say we needed a break, it was not something I had wanted. By the sound of it he felt guilty about what he had done to me. But it did not change that he had done it. I knew he joined the guardians because he was sick of not knowing, he was sick of being lied to, and just like me he needed answers. Dimitri just needed those answers more than I did. I knew that if I was him I would do the same for my family. Mason was an asshole, but if he was in trouble I would do anything for him. I knew what I had to do, it was just a lot harder to do than I thought it would be.
When Thursday finally came around, I was nervous. Christian, had long gotten ready, but I was in my bedroom rummaging through my clothes. Nothing I owned seemed to be good enough. I wanted to look good if Dimitri was there, I wanted to talk to him, and possibly fix things, but I also wanted to rub it in his face what he could lose. I had done up my make up and hair, but nothing seemed to fit right. I was sure the last four outfits I had put on looked good, but I wanted them to be so much more. I finally decided to wear a red strapless dress. It was nothing fancy, but it did my curvy body some good.
"Fuck Rose it's about fucking time." Christian was sitting on the couch, with an annoyed look on his face. We were running about an hour late, and he was dying to see Lissa. It was still only about 3 PM and dinner was still hours away, so I did not know what the rush was about.
"Sorry. I just needed to make sure this looked... You know what never mind lets go." He hopped off the couch and threw my jacket at me. I rolled my eyes at him as he rushed out, in a hurry to see Lissa. Those two were too much.
The weather had gotten even colder the last week and a half. It was crazy to think that just a week ago I was fine in jeans in a t shirt, now as I walked out I shivered as a few snowflakes landed on my nose. Snow, it meant another season gone, it was actually a sad thought, but I was hoping this holiday season would bring forth some peace.
The drive over to Lissa's parents place was too fast and far too quiet. I had been hoping for some more time to get it together, but before I knew it Christian had parked the car and was opening my door for me. He helped me out, and held my arm as we walked to the door. My heart was beating far too quickly and I thought I was going to faint. I was scared of what was behind the door. I wasn't sure if seeing Dimitri would be what it use to be, that and I wondered how my brother and father would act.
"Hey! You finally made it." Lissa answered the door with a bright smile. She kissed Christian quickly and then engulfed me in a hug. "I'm so glad you came Rose!"
"Yea me too, thanks for the invite." I was not really happy to be here, but it beat spending it alone. I mean who would purposely want to be alone on the holidays, I sure didn't.
"No problem, you know you're welcome anytime, you can leave your coats here, Vincent will take them from you." Said Vincent took our coats and just as quickly as he appeared he disappeared. "I was thinking maybe we could..." Lissa was cut off by someone's booming voice.
"Ah kizm you made it." Abe walked over like he owned the place and wrapped an arm around me, leading me exactly where I did not want to go. Straight for the group of guardians gathered in a corner.
"Abe please." I tried to pull away but he wasn't having it. He was just as stubborn as I was, and he wanted me to go over there.
"Please Rose, just play nice just for today." I was going to say I would not play along with his games, but when his eyes softened and he turned his gaze onto me, I felt bad, he just wanted to show off his daughter. I sagged in defeat and let him lead me to them.
"Everyone please this is my dear daughter Rosemarie." They all turned in my direction, but only one of them caught my attention.
"Dimitri stood out amongst all the other guardians. He was a good foot or more taller than most of them. He was wearing a similar suit to all the others, but on him it looked amazing. He had definitely bulked up in the last month, and in a good way. Even with the suit on I could see his muscles. I slowly worked up the courage to look at his face and was shocked by what I found. His eyes caught mine and I was able to see every emotion he felt play in them. He was sad, unhappy, and regretful. But what shocked me the most was that his hair was cut. His gorgeous long locks, weren't as short as everyone else's but his hair now only barely touched his ears. It was not a bad look on him, as he had it slicked back, but it hurt to see that in less than a month he had changed so much.
"As I was saying this is my kizm, so everyone please treat her correctly." They all nodded, but again I could only focus on Dimitri, who was now taking me in as a whole, his eyes trailing my entire body, studying my face like he would never see me again after this. I could not help the reaction it caused my body. Here I was mad at him, but yet I was turned on as could be. My fucking body was betraying me.
"Excuse me Abe, please." I needed to go collect myself, seeing him now was just too much. Everything I felt for him came crashing down on me, and it was just too much.
I found a door that led outside, and I inhaled deeply as the cold air hit my lungs, it was just what I needed. I needed to collect myself if I wanted to go back in there. I was not going to last until dinner if I kept looking at him. All I wanted to do was go up to him and hug and kiss him. I wanted so badly to forgive and forget. I just wanted my Dimitri back. I wanted to feel him against me, do all kinds of dirty things, what the hell was wrong with me.
"It's cold out here." His voice wrapped around me like velvet. I had missed it so much. He draped his jacket over my shoulders and then stood next to me.
"The suns out." We both looked up as even more snowflakes fell.
"Still were in the middle of Montana, and its nearly winter." He turned to me and I could feel his eyes on me. There was a silence surrounding us and I hated it. It was consuming me, something we had never had before. Silence around him before had been so comfortable, and I just wanted that back so badly.
"You look great tonight Roza." At my nickname I looked his way, I always loved it when he called me that. I nearly stepped back at the intensity of his stare.
"Thank you. You looked great too Dimitri. Though I liked your hair long." My hands moved without my consent and I grabbed a short lock between my fingers, it still felt like silk.
"I didn't want to cut it, but I didn't really have a choice. It was shorter, but thankfully my hair grows back quickly. I have Abe to thank for them not making me cut it again." He smiled down at me and grabbed my hand in his.
"I'm sorry Rose." His eyes turned sad and he came even closer to me. "I've missed you." My breathing faltered. I did not think he would tell me this so soon.
"I've missed you too." Relief filled his features. What I had said was true. I was still angry with him, but I did miss him.
"I know... Rose I know we still have a lot to talk about, but I just want you to know that I... Rose I love you so much. And I am so sorry about what happened. I handled things so wrong. I should have taken the time to think, the time to talk to you. I'm so sorry." My hand in his was now shaking, all I wanted to do was kiss him and say it was fine, but deep inside I knew we needed to talk, and he needed to hear what I had to say. He had hurt me, and he needed to know that.
"I love you too Dimitri. But you are right we have a lot to talk about." He nodded at me, but still brought me towards him, he hugged me closer to him, and we both inhaled the scent of the other. Things were not fixed, but I was hoping after talking and expressing ourselves we would be able to make something work. I just could only hope it would mean we could be together. I had missed him, everything about him. And my mind and body need him back.
"There you two are, dinner is ready love birds." Adrian's voice broke us apart and I could not help but blush. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone." With a wink and a bow Adrian went back inside, I started to followed but Dimitri grabbed my wrist stopping me.
"Can we talk after this tonight?" His voice was desperate. I couldn't help but feel bad for him, he was worse than Adrian had told me.
"Yes, of course." I smiled at him wanting nothing more than to bring a smile to his frowning face, it worked and my heart melted.
"Do you... Maybe we..." He cleared his throat and tried again. "Maybe you can come over to my place after dinner? I could drive, I mean I could drop you back off at Christian's afterwards if you want."
"That sounds perfect Dimitri." He gripped my hand in his and helped me inside without another word. I went to give him his jacket back but he insisted that I keep it until I was completely warm. I took it with no hesitation, it was filled with his scent and I wanted to enjoy it just a while longer.
I spent almost all of dinner stealing glances at Dimitri, glances that he met with a full on smile. I wanted to believe we could work things out. I knew we had a lot to work on, but he would be worth it in the end. He just had to know what he had done to me was not right, I needed to voice my opinions to him, and I knew that he would listen. But he also had to tell me what was on his mind. It was not going to be easy, but he was it for me. Like I said before I would always love him, and nothing was going to stop those feelings for him.
"He cannot stop looking at you huh Kiz?" Abe had sat down next to me, and was now giving me a crooked smile.
"I don't know what you're talking about old man." He laughed a deep throaty laugh and filled my glass with some more wine. I had told him time and time again that I was not of age, but he had told me it was fine because I was not driving.
"Oh don't play with me little girl. Haven't you guys kissed and made up yet. I know you want to, I see you looking at him too." I huffed at him, but did not even bother gracing him with a response. Instead I stole another look at Dimitri and was once again overwhelmed with the intensity of his damn sexy stare and smile.
"See I told you." Damn Abe.
It was funny that on my way here I thought time was going by too quickly, because now it was going by too slow. I was having a good time, and enjoying everyones company, but I wanted it to be time to go. I wanted to try and fix things with Dimitri, I needed to, it was not going to happen until we were able to leave, and so far it seemed like we would have to wait a lot longer. The Dragomirs sure did have a lot of money to waste.
Dinner was lavish. Don't get me wrong it was amazing, but the only thing I knew I was eating was the turkey. They had clearly hired some fancy chef. Dessert was amazing, there was a bit of everything and I could not help but want to taste it all, after all I did have a sweet tooth. I had eaten little at dinner, to nervous to eat more than a few bite, but when dessert came around I more than made up for it. Dimitri noticed and chuckled as I wolfed down a few slices of pie. It was nothing like what he had made at the bakery, but it was still damn good.
"Kiss and make up yet." Lissa bumped shoulders with me as everyone went back to mingling some more.
"No Liss. We still have a lot of talking to do." She frowned slightly, but it soon turned back into a smile.
"Well great then, you guys will work it out. I have faith in both of you. You know he loves you Rose. He was not happy when he asked me to take you. He just wanted to do what was right for you." I nodded and she wrapped her slender arms around me.
"I know Liss. You've told me countless times. I'm just still angry. He can't chose whats best for me. I have to do that." She sighed but didn't disagree.
"I know Rose. But you guys will talk it out. Let him know exactly how you feel, I know he will understand, just like you will understand what he has to say to you." With that Liss took her arms away from around me, and walked over to Andre who was calling her over.
I stood in a corner alone for quite some time looking over everyone who was there. Mason kept looking at me, and I knew he wanted to come over to me. Eddie had talked to me countless times throughout the night, but Mason had not even said hello. He knew I was mad at him, and I was glad he was leaving me alone. But I wanted to say hi. He was my brother, and even though he had pissed me off, I still loved him. I had learned after Dimitri left that I needed to grow, and talking to Mason was my next step.
"Hey Mase." I sneaked up next to him and startled him.
"Hey Rose, how are you?" He turned to face me and everyone near by stepped away, all knowing that we needed the time to talk.
"I'm alright Mase." I looked down at my feet then back at up at him, "Look Mase I hate this. Can we, can we at least try?"
"Yes, of course Rose. Look I am so sorry. I know I am a pain. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you, and I messed up. You're a big girl, and I know now that you can make your own decisions, and they are the right ones." I leaned in and hugged him and he held on to me tightly.
"So you and Belikov huh?" I pulled away and gave a small smile.
"I don't know Mase, we sort of broke up before his training." He cupped me face and wiped one betraying tear.
"You'll work it out Rose. I can tell he loves you just as much as you love him. Give the guy a chance, he was moping all through training and I am certain it had to do because of the lack of a certain wonderful woman in his life." I once again was shocked that someone else had told me how much Dimitri had missed me, if Mason noticed that everyone else must have too.
"Thanks Mase, I'll see what I can do." He chuckled at this, but hugged me again, saying nothing else.
It wasn't much, but it sure was a start. Maybe now we could finally get along, he knew now that lies would get him no where, and honestly I had missed my big brother. He had been trying to protect me, but he had messed up. He had messed up rather badly, but at the end of the day, he was just trying to protect his little sister. We would eventually have to sit down and talk, but for now I was content with the truce we had silently come up with.
The rest of the time I spent mingling with everyone. And after my encounter with Mason, I seemed to be having a lot more fun than I thought I would. Drinks were served, music was played, and all through the mansion you could here the chit chat and laughter. I was starting to really wonder what was up with the guardians. If Adrian and Dimitri had joined then they couldn't be that bad right. I mean if Dimitri found something out he would have left them. He just needed answers and it seemed like he was doing just fine.
I felt his gaze on me from across the room, and I could not help my answering smile. We had a lot to talk about, but I could not stay mad at him for too much longer. He was truly my other half, and I needed him badly.
"You ready to head out?" Dimitri walked right up to me, extending his arm to me. One I took without thinking. We needed to talk, and the sooner the better.
"Yea, really ready."
I made another round around telling everyone good bye. Abe gave me a sly wink. While Lissa, Christian, Mase, and Adrian all gave me encouraging smiles. By the end of the night I felt better about things. Nothing had been resolved but I was getting there. I could only do things one thing at a time. And I was starting with Dimitri, because without him nothing else could be fully right.
Thank you all for all the great reviews... How was this chapter? What did you think of Adrian joining the guardians? Unexpected? Do you think he had learned his lesson? Abe and Rose seem to be getting chummy, do you like that? Are the guardians as bad as they seem? And how will the talk go with Rose and Dimitri? Will they break up? Will they fix things? Well, I suppose we will find out soon enough! Thank you all again! And I hope you enjoyed!