Helga was sitting on the steps of the boarding house, face in hands trying not to laugh. She felt conflicted. On one hand it was absolutely horrorfying. On the other, hilarious.
"Helga?" she heard Torvald call. He sat down next to her on the steps. "What happened?"
"He," giggle. "He, they kissed and then he . . ."
Torvald watched on with concern as Helga continued to giggle. "What?"
"He threw up in her mouth, or she threw up in his!" Helga just collapsed into laughter. "It went from being heartbreaking to hilarious in seconds!"
Torvald snorted, then laughed as well.
"Karma, eh?" he finally said. Helga nodded.
"A bitch with a sense of humor," she said.
They were quiet for a moment, before Helga sighed.
"Shouldn't I be mad or sad or something?" she asked.
"You just saw two people throwing up in each others mouths. That's pretty shocking," Torvald said, laughing. Helga laughed again as well.
"Want me to take you home?" Toravald asked. Helga shook her head.
"Nah, I'm good," she said. "I really want to see how this plays out tomorrow morning. I can't wait til school on Monday!"
...
...
Arnold woke up feeling awful, with a disgusting taste in his mouth. He was on the floor in the kitchen. Nadine was lying nearby, also on the floor. He groaned.
"Oh, look who's up," he heard Helga's voice say. "Torvald took the liberty of dragging both your sorry asses inside."
He lifted his head a bit and saw Helga standing near-by. She looked pissed.
"What happened?" he asked, struggling to sit up.
"Came out to see you and Nadine kissing then there was spewing in each others mouths and wow, just wow," Helga told him. "I honestly was so hurt and heartbroken til that point. Then I was just glad it wasn't me."
Arnold finally managed to get up and make his way to a chair where he sat trying to piece together last night. What could he remember? Drinking. The toilet and glass of water . . .
"You and Torvald," he said. "You were here in my kitchen with Torvald. You were all over each other!"
"His aunt died, I was comforting him. My legs were closed, his dick was in his pants," Helga told him. "And I wasn't sharing vomit with him."
At that Arnold gagged. Vomit. There was vomit in his mouth that probably wasn't his. He gagged again, and only just made it to the kitchen sink to throw up in it. He could feel his legs getting ready to collapse from beneath him.
"Honestly, Arnold," she said sighing. "Anyway, there's people crashed all over the house. Good luck with the clean up. I'd stay and help, but I'm exhausted after making sure you and slutty-pants over there didn't choke on your stomach contents."
Arnold turned to see Helga pick up her bag, and walk out. If he hadn't needed to steady himself on the kitchen bench, he would have gone after her. There was more to this sinking feeling than just his stomach.
"Fuck."
...
...
"So did you break up with him?" Phoebe asked, painting her nail.
"Nah," Helga said, finishing her own nail. "I figure he's been punished enough. But I am going to let him stew for a day or two."
"Are you mad?" she asked, sealing the bottle of polish, dropping it on the desk then blowing on her nails.
"Of course I'm mad, why do you think I'm letting him stew in his juices?" Helga asked. "But we'll have a nice long talk in a few days. But he better get himself some knee-pads, cause he's got some serious groveling to do."
"Has he text or called?" she asked. Helga nodded. "Silent treatment?"
"At least til he shows up here," Helga said, sealing her own bottle of polish. "Am I being a bitch?"
"He was kissing another girl," Phoebe pointed out. "Gerald probably acted the same way when he caught me kissing another guy. I don't blame him."
"Yeah . . ." she said, staring off into space. "I don't know if I would call it kissing. More like using each others mouths as a chuck bucket." Both girls laughed.
"Helga, your boyfriends at the door!" her dad called up.
Phoebe smirked. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."
Helga smiled and got up, heading downstairs to see a very sorry looking Arnold standing in the doorway.
"Phoebe's over," she told him. "We're talking about you. And Nadine."
"Nothing happened," he told her, sounding desperate. "We kissed-"
"And then you threw up in her mouth?" Helga asked, trying not to laugh.
"Actually, she threw up in mine," he told her, looking at the ground. "I can still taste it. It's not pleasant."
Helga laughed.
"So you wont be doing that again, I take it?" she asked, smirking. Arnold shook his head.
"No. Never, ever again." he told her. "I don't want to lose you. Not because of my mistakes, and especially not to Torvald."
"Why would you think you'd lose me to Torvald?" she asked. "It's been over for more than a year now."
Arnold took a deep breathe. "Because last time he was here he told me he still loved you and that as soon as I stuffed up he would sweep you off your feet and make you his again."
Helga laughed again. "He's unbelievable. He wasn't being honest. He was just scaring you."
"How do you know?" Arnold demanded.
"Because he has a girlfriend. Her names Tanya," Helga informed him. "He was just getting the shits up you, that's all. I'll talk to him though, because that's not a nice thing to do."
"Oh," was all he could say. He suddenly felt so stupid.
"Look, I can forgive a spew-kiss," Helga said. "I'm guessing you've more than learned your lesson about cheating-"
"You have no idea!" he cried out. "My lips will only ever touch yours, ever! Even if we break up and it means I become a lonely hermit, living all alone in a forest on the edge of the world-"
Helga held up a hand. "Okay, okay, I get it. It won't happen again. Save the theatrics to me." She came down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
No way was she going near that mouth!
"You better get cleaning those teeth," she told him. "Your breath stinks!"
...
...
Arnold and Nadine never spoke to each other again. It was all to embarrassing. And nothing was ever said. He kept his mouth shut, she kept her mouth shut, and both pretended like nothing ever happened. Which was easy. Because no one wanted to remember the time they threw up in someones mouth while kissing. Even Helga never said anything, though did once send a nice glare Nadine's way, just to let her know she knew. And Gerald ribbed him about it a bit. Arnold knew Gerald would never let him live it down. Even in old age, he knew his friend would turn to him and say "Hey, remember that party where that girl threw up in your mouth?"
By Thanksgiving, everything was back to normal. There was sorrow in the Pataki household, this being their second Thanksgiving without Olga, but the Pataki's instead went to the Boarding House, which was better, for everyone concerned. Helga did wonder if they would ever be able to have a Thanksgiving in their own house again. They spent Christmas there as well, and stayed over. Arnold and Helga had a "supervised" sleepover in the lounge. Which was probably a good thing. Helga's imagination kept playing romantic lovemaking scenes over and over in her head, of the two of them in front of the fire . . . sleeping so near to Arnold . . . oh, that ache she felt below . . .
They managed to sneak in some make out time, but the noises of people moving around kept them from getting too carried away. She could feel Arnold's frustration, and her own. Something had to happen, and it had to happen soon . . .
...
...