More Than Luck

By: Kadi

Rated: M

Chapter 2

It was later in the evening, after dinner was consumed and the kitchen cleaned before the events of earlier in the day and the conversation in Sharon's office was broached again. Rusty watched Sharon pull a pillow into her lap where she curled on the sofa before lifting her tea cup again. He chose the arm chair and folded his hands in his lap. "Okay, you're freaking me out a little bit. You're not usually so…" He waved a hand at her. "That."

She offered a quiet chuckle. "Yes, how eloquent. Well, I am sorry if I am freaking you out. I don't mean to. It has been a long day and we still have some things to discuss. You're not always known for being so… receptive."

"Fair enough." Rusty drew his legs into the chair and wriggled around until he got comfortable. "Okay, this is me, being receptive. Let's have it."

Her eyes narrowed. "Alright then. But this is not going to necessarily be a nice topic, and parts of it are certainly not going to be easy for me. I expect you to be respectful and to listen to what I have to say." She pointed a finger at him. "I don't want any outbursts, remember that I am always looking out for what is best for you. Agreed?"

A heavy, nervous feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. "Agreed." She had said earlier that this wouldn't mean he had to leave her, but her opening volley felt a little ominous. He shifted nervously in his seat. "I know that you've gone to a lot of trouble to take care of me, Sharon, and I know that I haven't always made it easy. But I always appreciate it. Even when I don't act like it, or say it."

"Oh Rusty, I know that. That isn't even an issue." She smiled gently at him. "Honey, you're a teenage boy. Your mouth opens and words come out, they aren't always very pleasant. My job is to teach you when and where, and how to appropriately use those words and which words they should be. Rusty, you aren't always supposed to like what I say and do. It's part of the learning process. It's how we get to know each other, and how we learn what our place is in the world and how to deal with people. You're doing fine, and believe me, you have come a long way."

"Yeah?" He picked at the seam of his jeans. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so." She cradled her cup in her hands. "I have been really proud of the way you've grown these last couple of years. But you're going to make mistakes, I expect you to do it, it's how we learn. I'm going to continue to make my fair share of them too. We just hope that as we get older they become fewer and farther between. It's normal."

"You don't actually make a lot of mistakes," he said, giving her a slightly incredulous look. He supposed that came from being so crazy about rules and how they worked.

"Oh," she laughed. "I make my fair share of them. Believe me." She shifted where she sat and faced him more fully, sitting back in the corner of the sofa. "So here it is. The reason I had to see Gavin today. Although not for the reasons Emma jumped to, but it was about you. As we move closer and closer to the trial, and while these threats are looming over our heads, things are going to become increasingly more volatile. It's going to become harder for me to protect you, Rusty, and that is something that I very much want to continue being able to do." It was always more difficult to put into words what she was feeling, but she chose them carefully. "I'm not your mother. On that I think we are more than agreed, and as I've said before, I wouldn't expect or ask for you to stop thinking about her, or wanting to help her, or even to see her again. What I am most concerned with here is that your placement with me hinges on the mood of an irritating little…" Sharon stopped herself and shook her head. "If the DA's office begins to feel that your testimony is being threatened, they can move to have you shipped out of here to another location and there are certain members of the LAPD that will support that decision. Not as a reflection of anything that you've done, Rusty, it's simply the way that it is. Do you understand?"

"Emma has wanted me out of here since the day we met her," he looked rather grim about it. "The threats give her ammunition. You know, I wasn't kidding. I feel like that stupid trial is never going to get here and the entire rest of my life is going to be all about making sure it goes the way that it's supposed to. And it's so stupid Sharon. I didn't do anything wrong and I feel like I'm as much in jail as that jerk."

"I know," she shook her head, a sad smile tugged at her lips. "I wish I could change that, but I can't. What I might be able to do is offer a little bit of stability where it feels like there isn't any." Sharon leaned forward and watched him closely. "To do that, I might have to do something you won't necessarily agree with or even like. I've given it some thought, and Gavin agrees, that the best way for me to be able to protect you is for him to file a motion that would have your mother's parental rights terminated on grounds of abandonment and child endangerment. At that point I would then be able to legally adopt you and once final, Emma could huff and puff all she wanted, but she wouldn't get very far. Wait, don't say anything yet." Sharon held up a hand when she saw him gearing up to respond. "Now, regardless of whether or not you choose to agree and that happens - and yes, Rusty, I am going to give you the option. But regardless of all of that, some things would never change. You would still have a home here as long as you liked, and for as long as I was able to provide one. I would still assist you in the choosing of and funding of a college education, and you would still be very important to me. That doesn't go away if you say no. It ties my hands a little, but we find a way."

Rusty stared at her, eyes wide and uncertain. He gripped the arms of his chair and shifted a couple of times. His legs unfolded and then curled again. He wasn't sure if he wanted to run or dance around the room. It was completely unexpected, and yet, Doctor Joe's parting question still rang in his head. "You want to adopt me?"

"Yes." She said it simply. She could tell him that the likelihood of his mother returning was very small, but saw no reason in pouring salt in a wound that was still quite open. She could explain to him that even if his mother did return the chances of his being placed back with her were also very small, but Sharon didn't have the heart to dash that dream either. She couldn't hurt him, even if they were hard, cold facts, she simply couldn't allow herself to be the one to slap him in the face with those impossibly painful truths.

He continued to stare at her, almost seeming a little bit horrified. "That… that really isn't what I thought you were going to say." And maybe he was horrified at his own negative thoughts and his tendency to automatically look for the worst possible scenario. "But… but then I wouldn't just be part yours, then I would be all yours and…"

"On paper," Sharon stated, hoping to reassure him. "It would be a piece of paper which stated that legally you are my son and it would prevent your being removed from my care. That's all, Rusty, just a piece of paper. Nothing else would change. I already told you how I feel. Well, okay, you would also be inheriting the rest of this insane family, but nothing else would change. If your mother came back, I would still do whatever I could to help you help her."

He rubbed his forehead. A piece of paper. A piece of paper that would mean he didn't ever have to leave. He thought again about what Doctor Joe had asked him. Maybe it was time to bring that up. Rusty chewed on his lip for a moment. "The last time I saw Doctor Joe, right before he left, he asked me something. He wanted to know if… if my mother came back would I go with her or would I stay here, with you." He pushed his hair off his forehead and sighed. "I used to think, when I first came here, I used to think that when my mom came back, I'd go with her and everything would be the way that it was again. Then I started thinking that maybe the way it used to be wasn't the way it should be. Then she was supposed to come here and didn't, and… she knew that I was here. She knew that I was waiting and she couldn't get on the bus. That just made me think about how horrible it was that she left in the first place. Then I started thinking about all the things that I have now that I didn't have then. I had friends, and I was going to a good school, and a good place to live, and I thought about that argument we had… when I first came here. I said that… I said that you weren't my mother and you said no. You said no you weren't, because you were here. When he asked me that… I told him that I didn't know. I wasn't sure anymore. I haven't been for a long time. She isn't here because she doesn't want to be. No one made her leave. I've been thinking about it a lot. You fight with your boss to keep me, and my mom got so high she would forget who I was. That has to mean something, right?"

"Yes," she could barely push the words out past the aching lump in her throat. "Yes, Rusty, I think it does." Sharon blinked away the moisture in her eyes and looked down, into her tea cup. "I won't make the decision for you. But there are other things you need to know first. If you choose to go this route, it isn't going to be immediate. Before I can adopt you I have to straighten out some loose ends of my own. First and foremost on that list being a long overdue divorce. Which I have already put into play. During the course of that you may overhear or learn somethings which aren't altogether pleasant. I just ask that you remember that the past is the past and it has no bearing on you at all."

Rusty frowned at that. "I thought you were all… you know, Catholic and it was all complicated and difficult."

"It is, all of those things," she stated. "It wasn't an easy decision to make, and it's one that I have been going back and forth on for a very long time. If anything Jack's visit this past summer opened my eyes to the fact that he is never going to change, he isn't interested in trying to change, and if allowed he will continue to make the same mistakes again and again without bothering to learn from them. I'm doing this for myself and my children as much as anything."

"I'm sorry," he said. Rusty knew that Sharon had been different for a while after Jack had come and gone. He hadn't touched on the subject with her, she had made it very clear early on that her personal life was none of his business. She didn't even share much of it with her own kids. That was due in large part to the fact that they were not present to be part of her everyday personal life, but as he and Sharon got to know each other better, and had come to trust one another, she had started to share some things with him.

"I know." She smiled, and then she shrugged. "It is what it is, but I don't want you to worry about it. This was something that was broken long before you came along. To tell you the truth, I should have taken care of it a while ago. When I spoke to Katherine and Ricky about it, their responses were simply that it was about time. So whether you agree to the adoption or not, that part of my life is over and it's time it was behind me."

Rusty managed a small smile. "That sounds like Katie." Ricky worked long hours and had not been home to see his mother since Rusty had come to live with her, and while Katie had not been home yet either, Rusty had spoken to her on the phone a few times. When unable to reach her mother on her cell, she had called the landline. Before he knew it she had managed to finagle his cell number and email address out of him and was contacting him regularly. Rusty decided she was a lot like her mother, and even sounded like her on the phone sometimes. "Did you tell them about…" Rusty waved a hand between them.

"The adoption?" Sharon shook her head and took a sip of her tea. "No, I haven't spoken to them about it. I'm sure it won't come as a surprise, but it was something that I really wanted to discuss with you first. They both want to meet you, particularly Katie, but they're both very busy too and…" She hadn't wanted them in LA as long as the threats were hanging over their heads. It was hard enough protecting Rusty, she didn't want to give their letter writer two more targets.

"Yeah." Rusty understood. He knew that she had specifically asked them to not come to LA for Christmas. Both of her kids were expected to be in Utah with their grandparents this year, and unfortunately with Sharon's current schedule plus the need for his police escort, they simply couldn't join them. That was part of the reason why there were other plans afoot. Plans that Sharon had no idea about and would probably not like at first, but she had a habit of taking care of everyone except herself. "Do I have to um…" Rusty gestured with his hands. "Do I have to decide now? Can I uh… Can I think about it?"

"Of course, Rusty." That he was even willing to think about it was a very good sign. The Rusty of even a year ago would have screamed at her and run from the room. "I don't need an answer tonight. As I said, there's time."

He nodded quietly and pushed himself up, out of the chair. Rusty walked toward his room but stopped when he reached the hall. "Sharon." He turned back. "I…" He shook his head. "Good night."

"Good night, Rusty." She smiled knowing that whatever he had been about to say he would eventually find the words to get it out. She watched him retreat down the hall and listened for the soft click of his door closing before she let her head fall back against the sofa. It had certainly gone better than she had imagined it would. Sharon closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. She sat there for several long moments, just allowing the quiet to calm her frazzled nerves. It was the sound of her phone buzzing against the end table which drew her attention. With a sigh Sharon swiveled around on the sofa and exchanged her tea cup for it.

The text made her smile again. This one softer than before. It was Flynn, checking on her as he'd said he would. With the simple Ok? she could imagine the lift of his brows, the soft light in his dark eyes. It was going to be complicated indeed, and quite unexpected, but not altogether unwanted. Sharon's lips pursed while she continued to gaze at the message on her phone. The last few years had brought a number of unexpected twists and turns in the Captain's life. Between finding herself raising yet another teenager and this… whatever it was… with Flynn, Sharon wasn't sure which was the last she had ever imagined.

Sharon shook her head and keyed out a quick response. Better than. He's thinking about it.

Good. He's damn lucky. I hope he knows that.

He does. He's still not used to having good things happen to him. There is a part of him that is still stuck at the zoo waiting.

Hell of a thing, the way we can screw up our kids.

You changed. You tried. You keep trying, that sets you apart Andy. It makes you a thousand times better than a lot of people I could name. One in particular.

Yeah. I'm starting to believe that. You helped.

"Andy." Sharon sighed quietly. He didn't know just how great it was that he worked so hard to reconnect with his family, with his own kids. He worked at it, every day, not only when they were watching or when the mood struck. Sharon's fingers moved quickly across the screen of her iPhone. She called him, deciding he would get the point better if she pounded it into his head another way.

"You know, this was not supposed to be about me," he stated upon answering.

She smiled, the slightly gruff edge to that voice always gave her a little thrill. "All I did was dance at a wedding and suggest a couple of dance studios. You did all the heavy lifting. Stop trying to diminish that. I see it. Nicole see's it. One day your son will see it too. If he's anything like you, he just needs to think it over and brood it out a bit."

"You are bossy, you know that?" Andy sighed quietly. "I get it, Sharon. Or I'm starting to. Some things are hard to fix, but I think maybe it's turned the corner."

"I'm sure that it has." She wriggled back down on the sofa and hugged her pillow again with her free arm. "I won't attempt to diminish your history or their feelings on it, but I can say I've seen that side of it, Andy. They're having to learn to trust you again, and that's hard, and it takes a long time. Especially when there is an obstacle like your ex-wife. I know that just making the effort is more important to them than you will ever know. Mine have long since come to the realization that Jack only tries when I force him to, and that's usually in response to something that he wants from me. Ricky will be polite and speak to his father because he knows that I expect it of him, because he knows that I raised him to show civility and respect even in the face of extreme disappointment and anger. Katie tries but she's too much like me, I think. He's hurt her once too often and she's closed herself off to him. She dances under my maiden name because she won't allow him to have any part of her success. It's something that she accomplished in spite of him, not because of him." Sharon smiled, his words from a few months ago came back to her. "Andy, ya did good."

He laughed. "Sharon Raydor following in my footsteps, who would have ever thought that."

That drew a giggle out of her. "No one will ever believe you."

"That's true, maybe I will just keep that one to myself." He was silent for a moment. Andy knew what he wanted to say, but it was difficult to get the words out. Finally he shook his head. He fiddled with the remote in his hand, he had muted the sports highlights he was watching when she called. "He's an idiot, Sharon. The biggest, worst kind of idiot."

"I won't disagree with that," she said quietly. "It's still… I don't know, it is what it is, I suppose. I've said that more than once today, I think."

"Well, he let you get away, that makes him doubly idiotic if you ask me," he gruffed it out and held his breath for a moment.

Sharon was left a little speechless by that. "I…" She bit the corner of her lip. And here they were again. "You know, we're back to complicated, but thank you, Andy."

"Yeah. You're not up to talking about that tonight. So we'll just leave it at that."

"Hm." She gave him a low hum. "You might be right about that. It's not a conversation I intend to have on the phone either. But I think it had best be soon."

"Before you kill me with those damned skirts or my partner shoots us both," he drawled out. "I'm going to start thinking he's jealous if he doesn't cut it out. Maybe he has a crush on you himself. Those are some pretty powerful heels."

Sharon snorted a loud laugh and clapped a hand over her mouth lest she draw Rusty's attention. "You've bumped your head," she laughed. "I think the problem is simply that he's been around the block enough times to understand just how close to the flames we're dancing with this… complicated fire we're toying with. I mean, he is old enough to have seen this sort of thing blow up enough times. Otherwise we barely tolerate each other, your partner and I."

"Nah," Andy grinned. "He likes you. He'd just refuse to ever admit it. You grew on him. It's a sort of habit you have. I, for one, will not complain about it. But you've got a point. Hell, we're not kids. That's a conversation I need to have with him. I've been avoiding that. Or not really avoiding, more just… waiting. More than likely that's part of the problem. I haven't told him what's going on. He'll get over it. I'll talk to him. You know… soon."

"Yes." Sharon tucked her feet between the cushions of the sofa. "That seems to be the theme currently."

"Sharon. It's late. Shut it down for the night. Go to bed."

"I think I'm going to take you up on that." She unfolded herself from the sofa and lifted her tea cup. "Andy, thank you for checking on me."

"It's a hard job, but someone has to do it. Good night, Sharon."

"Good night." She ended the call and took his advice, shutting everything down for the night.