Disclaimer: I do not own the cartoons used within or Animal House.

Much thanks to my reviewers! Really, you flatter me! You can keep doing it... if you want to.

Extra credit to anyone who can name me where the name 'Bedussey' is from.

Father as Dean Wormer was fun to write.

Plus, you may notice as we go on that I will try, at least once a chapter, to give characters a little bit of a background as to why they are where they are. After all, Peter didn't just end up the way he was, and Pietro and Zuko aren't just randomly friends. Besides, it's good for me because I think Create-A-Past is really quite a fun game, especially when I only half to make up half of it.

Father looked out his window cautiously. This was his college, this Miyazaki College. He was dean. Dean! Not only that, but Father was powerful. Dean Father could ignite his desk right now if he wished. Yes. That's right. Dean Father had power over fire, and his body was completely black (except for his eyes. They're fiery. Isn't that cool?).

So why didn't that damn Chihiro House ever show him any respect?

Father walked slowly back to his seat. Most furniture in the room was polished mahogany. Across his desk sat the president of the Totoro House, Scott Summers. "Scott… what is the worst fraternity on this campus?"

Scott looked awkwardly to the side, then back to Father, straightening out his tie. "Well, sir, that's hard to say. They're each extraordinary in their own way-"

"Cut the horseshit, son!" His tone suddenly rose in a very imposing way. Scott flinched. "I've got their disciplinary files right here!" Father leaned forward and flipped through the files. "Who dumped a whole truckload of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads into the pool at the swim meet? Who kidnapped, bound, and gagged Hatake Kakashi, one of our most prized teachers, and dropped him off at the nearest high school's anime club? We didn't get him back for three months, and then he needed a year's psychiatric help before he could come back to work!" Dean Father didn't wait for Scott's response. "Every month, once a month, the robotics classroom is wired for every button on the keyboards and remotes to say one of many catchy phrases from Wallace and Gromit. Every spring, the toilets EXPLODE." Upon saying this last line, Father jumped out of his seat and flames shot up from his head and shoulders.

Once the flames died down, Scott scratched his head nervously and said, "You're talking about the Chihiro household, sir."

Father looked at Scott in disbelief. "OF COURSE I'm talking about the Chihiro House, you little TWERP!" He then turned away from Scott to talk, almost as if he was talking to himself. "But this year, it'll be a different story… very different… yes… this year we're going to take the bull by the balls… and KICK THOSE PUNKS OFF CAMPUS!"

Once again, Scott ran a hand through his shiny brown hair before speaking up. "What do you intend to do, sir? Chihiro's already on probation."

Father looked surprised. "They are?"

"Yes, sir."

"Oh…"

A short period of silence…

"Then, as of now, they are on… DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION! AHHH HA HA HA!" Dean Father took this joyous moment of power to laugh his head off. Evilly, of course.

Scott, however, looked doubtful. "…Double… secret probation, sir?"

Father moved toward Scott, his finger up in a pedantic fashion. "There is a little-known rule in the Miyazaki College Constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in the time of campus emergency." He paused dramatically. "Find me a way to revoke Chihiro's charter. You live next door. Put Robin on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you, right?" Though Scott opened his mouth to respond, Father looked away from him and looked out his window. "The time has come for someone to put his foot down… and that foot… is ME."

----------

Double D cleared his throat between slides. He was running a projector machine he borrowed from the library to show slides of the different pledge hopefuls they had received the previous night.

Now, one may think the Chihiro House to be a rather… odd place for a meek, nerdy, rules-abiding boy like Double D to reside. That was what everybody thought when he and the other two Eds (his best friends Ed and Eddy) arrived to Miyazaki College. But then came the incident one fateful night before midterms involving the tragic deaths of the other two… it involved a three A.M. coffee binge for cramming, two melon ballers, a laptop, and a stapler. Double D refused to say more. It was a widely known fact that he had gone off the deep end, but he insisted he didn't and that that was all that mattered. And now, three years later, the last Ed is head of the Chihiro House. "This is Danny Fenton. All in favor?"

Referring to the photo of said freshman, Double D let the men of the house cheer. Generally, they sounded like they were in favor. One Chihiro, a fat blonde guy named Coop said, "We need the dues!"

Double D grinned. "Good! Danny Fenton is now a pledge to Chihiro. Next slide, please…"

The slide clicked to another certain school photo. Just one look at his nerdy visage made most people in the room erupt in shouts of anger and disapproval, booing and hissing. Double D's shoulders went up to his ears as he tried to make general gestures of calming the frat boys down. In the audience, Pietro looked around at the crowd with an indignant expression. Zuko, who was sitting next to him, looked uncaring for the most part but did also look somewhat annoyed.

"J-…just a minute! Just… just settle down!" Double D called out. "This is Tucker Foley! He's a legacy from Casper High. He got recommendations."

"From who?" Another member of the household, named Monkey D. Luffy, asked.

"Dib."

More screaming and booing, louder than before.

"Nowwaitaminute waitaminute waitaminute. Wait. A. Minute!" Pietro stood up and shouted a few times to get everyone's attention. "Okay, yeah, this guy's a real loser. True. I mean, look at him. But think back to when you were freshmen!" He gestured to Zuko. "Zuko, you had a burn on your face that looked like the pepperoni on a slice of pizza, didn't you?"

"…I still do."

"Well, yeah, but you hide it with your hair now. And Spud!" He pointed to another Chihiro member with a green cap. "Everyone thought he was brain-damaged."

Spud looked down, a little bit of his self-esteem having been chipped away just by remembering it again. But then he looked up, perfectly normal, having forgotten it already.

Pietro let out a laugh. "Hell, even me. I was so goddamn obnoxious that the seniors used to beat me up once a week. Or, you know, whenever they could catch me. So they really ended up only doing it a couple times. Heh. Neanderthals. Oh, right! My point! Anyway, so what if this guy is a total loser? Hey, lemme tell you the story of another loser-" Everyone interrupted Pietro by shouting and throwing empty (or full) beer bottles at him while they booed him.

---

Danny and Tucker slept in their dorm room. It had been a long night, and they were both a little hung over. Before they had a chance last night to think about how lame it would be if the worst house on campus didn't accept them, exhaustion took over.

A little clock ticked. Little did this little clock know, it and the two boys in the room were about to be victims… of a fire extinguisher.

The door burst open and in came Zuko and Pietro. They both began squirting Danny and Tucker, who yelped and squealed and jumped around to get away from the white, powdery barrage. Pietro just cracked up and shot at them as quickly and wildly as he could. Zuko was using the device more steadily, but was shouting out demented military cries at them: "GET UP. LET'S GO. ON YOUR FEET. NOW, SOLDIERS."

---

Double D stood in front of the young pledges. Double D's costume was unique, to say the least. He was clad in the poofy pink sleeves of a girl's princess costume, a rainbow wig, and a fake bloody Scream mask. With one hand, he held up an antique book with a leather cover. The other hand he held up to the side of his head, facing the freshmen. "I… state your name…"

The row of boys repeated, "I… state your name…"

"… do hereby pledge allegiance to the frat…"

"… do hereby pledge allegiance to the frat…"

"… with liberty and fraternity for all."

"Amen."

"Sergeant at Arms," Double D nodded to Peter. "Do your duty."

Peter Griffin, drinking a beer, stepped up to the first pledge, a red-haired boy in black clothing named Jack Spicer. "Your pledge name is Fishbelly." He moved on to the next, a boy who essentially had a yellow spike with a purple spot in the middle for hair. This was Odd Della Robia. "Your name… is Kitty."

Peter's next stop was Danny. "Danny, your Chihiro name is Bedussey."

Danny raised one eyebrow. "Why Bedussey?"

Peter burped. "Why not?!" He then looked over to Tucker.

Tucker could hardly contain his excitement. "What's my Chihiro name?"

"Foley, I've given this a lot of thought…" Peter put his hand on Tucker's shoulder. "From now on…" (Ooh, a dramatic pause. That's flashy.) "…your name is Dipwad."

Next thing they knew, all Chihiro House members were singing along in their rowdy fashion to a song they barely knew. It wouldn't matter, if they had played that song every day their entire lives, they were too tipsy for the lyrics to be audible. Everyone was trying to manage dancing, but at this point, it was a lost cause. Soon, somebody was going to fall, and then later, more than one person was going to puke. It didn't matter. In this house, what really mattered was that you had fun. And they were willing to have fun at any expense.

---

In a totally different world, yet only ten feet or so away from the Chihiro House, something dark and evil was brewing in the Totoro House. On the second story, on the room farthest to the left, it was hazing time, and they took it very seriously.

Scott held a book close to his chest, covered by the monk-like brown hooded robe he had on. "We must now consecrate the bond of obedience." He looked down at poor Beast Boy, who was the first pledge in line. "Assume the position."

Beast Boy, looking terrified, bent down. Robin, who was standing next to Scott, took out the Paddle of All-Consuming Spankiness and positioned it juuuust right. Then, with juuuuust the right amount of force, he brought it down on Beast Boy's behind.

Beast Boy cringed, then squeaked out, "Thank you sir, may I have another!"

WHACK.

"Thank you sir, may I have another!"

WHACK.

"Thank you sir, may I have another!"

Scott and Robin looked down, the faint glow of the lit torches and dozens of candles in the room sending an orange glow about them, reflecting the joy, the pure, deep down, semi-erotic joy that Robin and Scott and the other Totoro House members were taking in this as Scott nodded approvingly.