A/N: This is just a quick note on Xia Yu Lan and Xia Yu Fan, those two hot and borderline Lesbiancest twins introduced in Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid. Their personalities were a little too dark for my taste in the anime so for this story I've lightened them up quite a bit. My excuse? Naruto was introduced to their lives so he played a big role in influencing them. Plus, at this point in the timeline, they'd still be under Gauron's command and not with that deranged Gates guy yet.

. : Twin Comrades : .

I hadn't realized I had passed out again until I awoke, dazed, confused, and worried.

"You're awake," said a voice. "Good."

The familiar voice was like an instant remedy to my anxiety and I sat upright. I quickly realized that I was in my room within my own apartment. Standing over me, giving me a thorough look-over, was Xia Yu Lan, one my partners for 'Operation Chidori'. Like me and her twin sister, she also attended Jindai High School to keep an eye on Chidori, though we were all in different classes.

I scratch my blond hair, trying to remember what had happened. "I passed out?"

She nodded, shoulder-length dark-brown hair bobbing as she did. "About an hour ago," she said. "We noticed you leaving the school too early and so Nee-san went to investigate. She found you and dropped you off here then left to keep an eye on Chidori."

"Your condition was horrible," she added. "You had a broken femur in your left leg, your right wrist was dislocated, and both of your hands were badly scraped and bleeding profusely. Your knees looked pretty raw as well, I'm surprised you walked as far as you did in your condition." As she scanned each of my wounds with her crimson eyes, I noticed her gaze fall and linger directly on my nether-regions. Only then did I realize I was stark naked and completely exposed.

"H-hey," I stammered, reaching for a blanket to cover myself. "Couldn't you have left my underwear on at least?"

She shrugged and said, "You know our protocols, we have to be thorough."

She was right, of course. We were all expensive Amalgam personnel so it was our responsibility to take care of each other during the mission. If either her, or Yu Fan were to get seriously injured, it would be my duty to bring them home, strip them naked and, well, all of a sudden, I found myself hoping one of the twins would get hurt in a freak accident. "Kuso, I don't remember anything…"

"You took some APATHY, remember?" she said. "You know what it does."

"Thanks for patching me up," I quickly say, not wanting to dwell on my little drug habit. "I'll be fine now, why don't you head back to the school." I look around frantically for my clothes with little luck.

"School is already over," informed Yu Lan, passing me my boxers. Completely embarrassed, I snatched them from her. Kami, I'll never get used to living with these twins.

"Chidori should be home any second now and Nee-san went to buy groceries," she continued.

I glance over at the alarm clock. It was five.

Then I look out my window. Directly across the street was the apartment where Chidori lived. In fact, her window was in plain sight from my room. But her lights were still off. She should have been home by now.

Just then, our apartment intercom buzzed.

"I'll get it," offered Yu Lan. "It's probably those annoying salespeople again."

Finally, she left my room and I limped over to my closet to find some fresh clothes. My mind was buzzing now, trying to come with an excuse to use tomorrow for my sudden disappearance from the school. No, that was the easy part. The hard part would be explaining things to Chidori. There was no doubt whatsoever that she saw me plunge the needle full of APATHY into my arm. Plus I ran from her. How the hell would I explain that? I also had to keep in mind that it was best for me to stay as close to her as possible. It would be best if I could somehow become her friend… I grumbled to myself and decided that I'd figure something out after dinner.

Now fully dressed again with fresh clothes, I decided to help out Yu Lan with the salesperson problem. When we first moved in, she had snapped because an over-persistent salesman wouldn't take no for an answer. When he refused to stop buzzing the room, Yu Lan pulled out a gun on the poor guy. Of course, he ran away and I had to hunt him down afterward to make sure he would 'forget' everything that he saw. Wanting to avoid a repeat situation, I went down to the apartment entrance.

To my surprise, nobody was selling anything at the door. Instead, it was Chidori who was busy chatting with Yu Lan. At first, I hid back behind a wall, not wanting to be seen by her yet. But after a few more minutes, I managed to compose myself, and decided to wing it. I'm sure my brilliant mind would come up with something to explain everything to her.

I walked out casually towards the two of them, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. But when Chidori looked up at me, for some reason her face turned stark red. Before I even got to the two girls, Chidori had given a quick bow to Yu Lan and ran off towards her own apartment.

Shocked, I asked Yu Lan, "What happened?"

"Don't worry," she said. "I took care of everything."

"Huh? Took care of what?"

"I explained everything to her."

"Wait a minute," I demanded. "You didn't tell her about the APATHY did you?"

She scowled. "Of course not. I'm not as stupid as you."

I ignored the insult and pressed on. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I was your lover," she said, shrugging.

"WHAT!?"

"Well, girlfriend was the word I used but it's the perfect excuse, isn't it?"

"Are you an idiot?" I knew my mouth was probably hanging wide open in shock but I didn't care. I seriously hoped I misheard her or something so I asked her again as calmly as I could, stressing certain words to drive my disbelief across: "You actually told Chidori Kaname that we were LOVERS!?"

Yu Lan nodded. "I blamed your collapse in class on fatigue. And to explain that, I told her that we had non-stop animalistic sex all yesterday night—"

I nearly choked. "We had WHAT!?"

"—and that sometimes when you're around other attractive girls, your sexual urges become so strong that you need to inject yourself with a special prescription drug just to control it."

"Oh Kami—"

"But then she told me you ran away for some reason so I had to explain to her that because the drug isn't fast acting, you had to get away as quickly as possible or you would have forced yourself on her."

"I… wha… gaaaaaah!" My legs suddenly turned to rubber and I collapsed defeated onto my knees. My goal was stay as neutral in school as possible. If this rumor spread, this would definitely make me the enemy of all girls and the envy of all the guys. "Why me? That was all you said, right? Please tell me that was all."

"Umm…" she put her hand up to her chin in a thinking pose. "Oh yea. I also told her about Yu Fan and said that you were doing us both at the same time. But I think that was it. I'll tell Yu Fan later, she definitely won't mind playing the part. It's for the mission."

"Oh… great," I said in a dead tone.

"You should thank me. Because of my quick thinking, you're little drug screw-up is all covered. Gauron-sama would have been furious if he found out. But now we won't have to tell him. It's like nothing happened."

"Yeah… nothing at all."

"If rumors start to spread, remember to grope us at school to keep up the façade. Or at least break up with us publicly so people will think that we were a couple."

"You mean threesome…"

"Right, see? Now you're thinking."

Well, so much for getting close to Chidori and becoming her friend. I struggled to pull myself together.

"I see you're okay now, Naruto," said another voice. It wasn't Yu Lan or Chidori so I looked up. Standing there was Xia Yu Fan, balancing several grocery bags in her arms while glaring at Yu Lan and I. "What are you two doing down here? You two are supposed to be keeping a watch on Kaname."

"Sorry, Nee-san," said the younger sister. "Chidori was just here and we had to explain Naruto's mishap to her. I'll give you the details when we get back in the room. It involves you too."

Yu Fan nodded. She was probably only a few seconds or minutes older than her sister but seemed vastly more mature. Even in looks. Long dark hair cascaded past her shoulders and down her very full chest. Even her own crimson eyes were somehow darker and more experienced than Yu Lan's.

She motioned for me to follow and headed to the stairs with her sister in tow. I breathed a heavy drawn-out sigh before getting back on my feet and following them back up into our room. I noticed my leg was healing fast. The bone was probably already mended. Most people would have found that weird but not me. I know it had something with my long forgotten past but I was in no hurry to retread that path.

However, weird or not, I was still healing. At least I had that going for me. I'd need my wounds to be healed to cope with Chidori tomorrow. Knowing her, she would not ignore or avoid me like most girls would if they thought I was a sexual predator involved in a threesome with twins. No, not only is she the class rep, but she wasn't the type to ignore problems. And with what Yu Lan just told her, I'd be her biggest one yet.