Disclaimer: I do not own the cartoons used within or Animal House.
Take caution with reading this one, kiddos.
Pietro snapped open the front door to Chihiro House, a mischievous smile etched on his face, poorly made white tablecloth toga, and a plaid bed sheet accenting it. "Girls, welcome to the Chihiro toga party! Grrrreat pair of togas, let me take your coats-" (He tossed them to the side, on the ground) "-Go help yourself to some Chihiro punch, condoms to your right, lube to your left, watch your step, don't go near Peter (he's feeding), I'll join you in a minute!" He was addressing Random Pretty Girl 1 and Random Pretty Girl 2.
Pietro ran across the house back into the living room, where the most fun, the loudest music, and the best beer was. He passed Double D, who was juggling corkscrews; despite his usual Double-D-ness, he knew how to have fun at the parties (evident in his toga and boldly clashing bowtie). Pietro then nearly ran into Tucker, who was decked out in a tuxedo that actually looked like it was worth something. A knockout girl with a deep and natural tan, bright green eyes, and long red hair was clad in a pastel pink dress, white gloves, and a nervous smile as she clutched Tucker's arm. Tucker introduced her. "Pietro, this is my girlfriend, Starfire!" Tucker was ecstatic to call such a pretty girl his girlfriend. Tucker addressed Starfire next. "This is my friend I was telling you about…"
Obscene thoughts raced through Pietro's head as he gave the ten a once-over. But instead of saying something vulgar (oh the temptation!) he said, "You're even prettier than how Tucker described you! What a great dress!" He didn't bother to mention that it was a toga party… that would have been embarrassing… besides, it was probably obvious; everyone else was wearing one. "He's a really lucky guy. Why don't we go sit down somewhere?"
Tucker stood with two drinks, one for his date, who mysteriously disappeared just a minute ago with Pietro, and one for him. Now alone, he died a little inside. Then he decided he'd probably need both of the drinks anyway.
--
On the dirty staircase, a hippie-looking blonde guy with a genuinely sweet smile, guitar in hand (it had cursive letters spelling Apollo – God of Light and Music) on the , and puffy-sleeved shirt sat with a ring of girls encompassing him. They looked incredibly focused on his every move. Apollo strung a chord, then started up a steady tune as he began to sing. "I gaaave my love a cherryyyyy, that haaaad nooo stoooonnne…" It was about this time that Peter, clad in a toga over loafers and nothing else, started coming down the stairs and stopped short when he heard the music. The girls and Apollo paid him no mind. "I gaaave my love a chickeeenn, that haaad nooo boooonnne. I gaaaave my love a stooorryyy, that haaad nooo eeennnd. I gaaaave my love a meloooonnn ba-" Apollo was cut off when Peter viciously lunged and grabbed his instrument, smashing it against the wall. Oh, and smash he did! Little bits of guitar went flying! It splintered! Splintered, I say! And the wall was not any better off! Oh dear, it's a good thing that it wasn't technically their house, otherwise this would be quite a bad situation.
Anyway, Peter smashed and crunched and demolished, and when that was over with, he devoured! He bit off pieces of the guitar, flinging them all over the girls and Apollo with his jaw. A few of the girls had started shrieking.
Peter ceased. He handed the handle of the guitar back to Apollo. "…Sorry." Sensing the uneasiness, Peter ran away.
--
Danny waited outside in the humid yet cool air. Some people were outside, and cars were constantly pulling up, but even so, he was fairly isolated. In nervousness, he adjusted his toga. Dammit, it's falling down. Of course it's falling down! It's a TOGA! Togas aren't meant for modern day bodies. If only Pietro had told me to wear underwear earlier!!
Earlier at the party…
Danny grabbed his head in frustration. "What do you mean I'm allowed to wear underwear too?! I thought this was supposed to be old-fashioned! I would have WORN UNDERWEAR!"
Pietro was unfazed by Danny's obvious irritation. "Dude, why would you want to wear underwear anyway if you have the option to go free n' easy? You're weird."
Danny sighed. There was nothing to be done about it now.
He looked up at a whirring noise. Danny smiled as Sam pulled up on an electric scooter, which she somehow managed to make look Gothic by painting it black, wrapping a chain around it, and painting a skull motif where her feet were. She was wearing a black toga with her usual purple lipstick and combat boots. "Hey!" She hugged Danny. "Sorry for the wait!"
"You look great!" Danny's grin practically popped off his face as they walked inside together.
"So do you! Anyway, I had to wait until my folks went out." Once they were unsafely inside, a rock band sending liver-vibrating chords crashing through the house, Danny handed her a glass of punch (he had assumed that she would be okay to drink a little alcohol). Sam chugged it. Then she reached out towards a passing by Delta and grabbed a little shotglass filled with a garish red liquid. She downed it. Then she looked at Danny. "Can you get me some more punch? I've got a lot of catching up to do."
Danny was about to respond, trying to change the subject when he realized how likely it was that Sam would be getting drunk that night. But then he noticed a lull in the music, meaning that the band was about play a different song. "Do you want to dance?!"
Much to Danny's surprise, the goth liked the idea. "Yeah!!"
The band was, surprisingly enough, four live, non-animated guys. The front of the drum said 'Pete Wentz and Three Other Guys'. The guy with the microphone also had a bass guitar. "Alright, yeah!! How about this! Cartoons know how to party! How weird! What's really weird is I'm not even the real singer of this band!... Oh well… I'm gonna do a song anyway! A song redone a million times!... I'm so drunk! Anyways! YEAHHHH!"
"You know you make me wanna SHOUT! Kick my heels up and SHOUT! Throw my hands up and SHOUT! Throw my head back and SHOUT! Come on now!"
The crowd in the room was dancing wildly to the music, thrashing about with no real synchronization. Peter was of course in the middle of it, attempting what one could vaguely call dancing. Zuko was onstage, brooding as he drank a beer and somberly mouthed along with the music (he's too cool for dancing), a toga haphazardly thrown over his usual clothes and dark sunglasses accenting his moodiness.
--
The Lexus collided into the bumper of one of many cars parked at random in front of Chihiro House. Lucky for her, no one inside heard the slight crash over the music. Judy Neutron-Father leaned over the wheel to see. She backed away from the now dented car. But she overshot it and backed into another car. This time she didn't bother trying to move. She just stopped the car and got out.
Pietro noticed her outside and dashed out to see her. "Heyyy, Mrs. Dean. Um, Father-Neutron, um, JUDY! I'm so glad you came."
She smiled as he led the way inside. "Cut the crap. Give me a drink."
--
Before they could stop and try to handle things with common sense and grace, Sam and Danny were in his and Tucker's dorm room. She kissed him and pushed him back onto his bed, then took off her shirt and lowered her lips onto his. Danny hadn't ever really been a full-blown makeout session but had a strange feeling that this was it. What happens in these? he wondered. Should she be naked? If she does get naked, does that mean we have to have sex? Ohmygod! She's moaning! Is she okay? Should we have figured out a safe word? But after a minute or so, Danny realized she was fine. Go for bra. Take it off. NO! Wait! Don't! Wait for her to say so. Wait – what if she doesn't say. What if you have work around a bra this whole time WHAT IF IT GETS TANGLED UP OHMYGOD!
Still with his tongue in a position he had never before imagined it would be, Danny reached behind Sam for the back of her bra. He felt what he assumed would be Uh, the, uh, the what's-it-called, the thing! the thing that would make it come off. He fingered it. There must be some way to get it off, but he honestly had no clue…
--
Pietro was thoroughly content, as it took very little time to lure Judy up to his bedroom. However, he knew this was just one of the first steps.
Smiling with pride, he turned on the elaborate light fixture he had on to 'nice and dim'. This way the date wouldn't be able to see many specific details of the room or drink he was making, should she decide to use it against him in court, but said date could still tell how hard he worked on his room for moments like this. The walls were lined with leopard print wallpaper, except for the wall behind the bed covered with mirrors. The bed itself had a red velvet comforter. Everything was like some cheap sex scene in a comedy movie.
Judy gave Pietro a look, then turned to the bar (yes, there was a rather nice little bar in his room), as if to say "Make with the cocktails!" She was already holding a glass of wine but didn't seem to care.
--
Danny pried and twisted and fingered, but it appeared the latch on the bra was beating him in a battle of wits. He said over Sam's shoulder, "I think it's… locked or something…"
--
Pietro made cocktails as he practiced his Cool Smirk. Just to be sure he was as cool as possible, he didn't take his eyes off Judy (to make it seem like he was a cocktail expert, but he was really spilling it all over the place). He scooped ice cubes in. Ended up with two he didn't need. Threw them over his shoulder. Something that sounded like glass broke.
--
If Danny wasn't also trying to focus on kissing, he would have cried out of frustration. Bras really weren't his thing.
Finally sensing his frustration, Sam chuckled and pushed herself up off of him. "Here," She unhooked it, then paused.
Unsure of what to do in her sudden pause, Danny reached up and grasped it to take it off.
Sam passed out, falling on to her back on the bed with a drunken smile on her face.
Danny was frozen in shock looking at the naked upper half of her body (tonight was full of firsts).
With a poof came Danny's little Shoulder Slacker!
"C'mon, fuck her," He whispered into Danny's ear.
Danny just stared, slowly turning to look at Shoulder Slacker (who looked a lot like Danny but with messier clothes, hair, and stubble) in desperation.
"Fuck her!" he insisted again, as if Danny just didn't hear him the first time. "Do anything you want. Go around the world with her. Positions you wouldn't normally get to, y'know? You know she wants it."
Poof! Shoulder Superhero! Shoulder Superhero also looks like Danny, but neater and… more heroic. "Daniel, I'm surprised at you! For shame!"
Shoulder Slacker 'pfft-ed'. "Don't listen to that jack-off. Look at her boobs! You'll never get a better chance." Danny, still with a blank look of shock on his face, made a move to reach towards her chest.
"If you make a move on that poor, sweet, helpless, overly made-up girl, you'll despise yourself forever!" Shoulder Superhero insisted with his arms crossed all serious-like.
Danny put his hand down and sighed.
"I'm proud of you, Daniel." Poof.
"DOUCHE." Poof.