A/N: New story up. Read it, it's amazing. Also, I'd love it if you'd read my non-reviewed story too. They are both pretty good, and that means a lot coming from me. I know you can do better with the reviewing. Please? This story over soon. I'll have another one-shot up soon as well, this time about Alice. Hope you enjoy. Again, not my best, but its … good enough I suppose. R&R? –hopeful smile-

Quote(s): Used to... it's past tense, -softly echoes- past tense. In the past, behind you. It's not coming back and you realize it's all your fault. And you spiral downwards until you reach the bottom. From way down there, you can look up, see a touch of light far off from the darkness, and think I used to be there. -- Me

Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head—unknown

A million more quotes like this on my profile. Ongoing project of mine. I think it's awesome, check it out and let the awesomeness surround you. Also, unanswered questions here… look at the last chapter, please. I'm looking for wishes and whether or not you care about what the hell I do. Please?

Because breaking's what the heart is for (All American Rejects), love you,

Kasey

APOV

Jasper, my mind whispered. It didn't make sense, I know, but somehow, I knew he was back for a good reason and that I'd be happier because of it. Some intuitive part of me just knew.

I couldn't stop the smile I felt inside, I felt like I was… glowing. But I kept it off my face, because despite what I thought, this could actually be bad news. Bella didn't understand, not really anyone did, but I had an irrational attachment to Jasper, and that wouldn't go away, no matter what he did to me. That would remain with me forever. Even if I did get over him, he'd still always be a part of me, and I'd never forget him. It would still hurt to look back on what are currently the best moments of my life.

Seeing Bella and Edward happy together was… confusing. I was glad they were happy, glad that I wasn't one of the reasons they were unhappy, but it still hurt, looking, seeing , and thinking I used to have that. That used to be mine. The reminder that it wasn't mine anymore sent a sharp pain through me.

I hadn't been dealing with losing Jasper as well as I should have been. I should have just accepted it, should have at least seen it coming, and even if I didn't, I should have put on a pretty face, smiled, and let everyone think I was okay, when in truth I was falling to pieces.

I needed to be careful when talking to Jasper, I couldn't let him see how bad I was really hurt. It would make him feel guilty, because that was the kind of person he was, and who knows what he would do then. I don't want him to be with me when he doesn't want to because he feels responsible for my pain. And I'd have to be extra careful… Jasper was sensitive to emotions, especially mine.

He didn't know I wished every night for him.

He didn't know I cried myself to sleep every night.

He didn't know what I'd done to Bella, or what it caused her to do.

And he didn't need to know.

Maybe one day, I'd tell him, when and if I moved on, though I had to I guess, because apparently he wasn't "the one", so I had to get over him at some point, right?

As the evening got later, the need to talk to him grew greater. Yeah, technically I was talking to him, but we needed to talk, to address the reason he was here.

My mom came out a few times to see how we were doing, I could tell she was nervous about me and how I was handling my heart breaker's return. When Dad dragged in from work, I decided it was time to end the fun, painless conversation and discuss what was going on.

Finally, Jasper and I went up to my room to talk, leaving Edward and Bella in the living room. We kept the door open. To me it seemed like it was an escape route if one of us needed it, and closing it would be like trapping us inside. It was safer if it was open.

"Alice…"

"Wait," I told him, holding up my finger. "Jasper, do you know what you did? Even if you didn't want to see me again, even then, you should have left us with some way to get a hold of you. You just… disappeared. We didn't know where you were or what happened to you. That's almost what hurt the most. And even if you didn't want to talk to me, you could have talked to Edward. For God's sake, you're his best friend! How could you do that?"

He sighed, searching for the right words to say.

"If I left a number, or an address, you would have gotten it. You would have tried to talk to me, and I couldn't let you do that… it just wouldn't work." A pain shot through me again, reminding me that we still weren't together, and we couldn't just kiss and make up after this argument, no matter how much I yelled. It was an argument where the outcome wouldn't matter. The only thing obtained from it would be answers. Especially since I would be the only one arguing. It was always like that. I would yell, he'd talk calmly, it just always was that way. And it always worked out in the end, no matter how angry I got.

"You don't know that," I said, though it was probably true. If he told me not to contact him… would I have respected his wishes?

"I know you, Alice, you would have. And I couldn't let you do that. I was trying to see if I could live without you. And, well, that wouldn't have worked out so well or been a very accurate test if you contacted me in anyway. And even if you didn't, talking to Edward would remind me. I was seeing how easily I could get over you."

"Obviously, it was easy." I was angrier than I'd ever been with him. "Why on earth would you do that, would you want to do that? You can't just play with people's emotions. You can't experiment on them. That's wrong and so messed up. Don't you get that?"

"Alice, where are you going to college?" he asked me, randomly.

"I don't see why that's relevant."

"You're going where you got accepted and where you've always wanted to go. I'm doing the same. Only, the colleges are on opposite ends of the country. There would be no weekend visits for us. At most, we'd see each other twice a year. And we're going to be busy, during breaks, if we get to come home and have the money to, we're going to see our families, even if we wanted to see each other, we wouldn't. My dad moved to Texas, low warning. My family's there, yours is here, it's not likely we would see each for things like holidays that are meant to be family affairs."

"What is your point?"

"When my dad told me we were moving, I used it as an opportunity. I didn't tell you. I made the worst decision of my life and broke up with you instead. Have you ever heard that long distance relationships don't work? We have over four years of that ahead of us. I wanted to see if I could live without you, because I know, without knowing what it's like to be without you, I'd never be able to make a relationship work through college. I'd give up, think it wouldn't be worth it, and I'd doubt my love for you, it'd be bound to happen.

"Trying to live without you… one was so I could know if I could, two, to see if I would be willing to do it, to save both you and me the pain of a long-distance relationship, and three, so that if I couldn't handle it and decided I didn't want to be with anyone but you, if I ever started to doubt something, during the long college years we wouldn't be together, I could look back and remember how painful it was without you, so I would know that I would never want to do that again, never want to live like that again."

All I could do was stare at him, I couldn't think of anything to say.

"And, it was option three. I can't and don't want to live without you, Alice. I want to make our relationship work, though it will be hard. I'm not sure if you feel the same, and if you choose to, you can end it at any time, like if you meet someone else. I'm yours forever, as long as you want me anyway. I'm sorry, Alice, but I don't regret it. I just hope you can forgive me. Do you think we can make it work?"

Still angry, I slapped him across the side of the head.

"You moron! That's the stupidest thing anyone's ever done for me. But it's also the sweetest. You hurt me, Jasper, badly, because I didn't see it coming. I thought you cared about me, and then you just left, leaving me with a broken heart. I never expected you to do something like this, and I don't like being taken by surprise. I thought we would always be together, and if we weren't, I would anticipate it, at least know something bad was going to happen, because I get those feelings, you know? But I do see where you got this from, and I can see your point. But still, it's only December, I could have been accepted somewhere else, changed my mind about where I wanted to go, if I decided I wanted to be closer to you, this whole plan of yours… it was idiotic.

"You do realize that I'm always going to worry about you leaving again, right? You may be sure of yourself, more than you've been, but I'm not as. If you can leave once without me seeing it, you could do it again. But I will try, Jasper, because I care about you so much." I took his face in my hands and kissed him once, hard on the mouth. It was like a trip to the past, before all this happened, and it was soothing to my aching mind.

"Jasper Whitlock, stupidest guy I've ever met, I love you."

"Love you, too, hun."

"A few weeks in Texas and you've already picked up an accent?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I've always wanted to see what a pet name would be like, it seemed an appropriate time," he said.

"Okay, I'll forgive the foolish acts of the past couple months on one condition."

"What would that be?" he asked.

"Never call me that again," I told him, laughing.

"Yes ma'am."

"That's better," I said, leaning in to kiss him again. Inches away from his face, a voice distinctly belonging to my mother cleared her throat in the doorway.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen, I was just, saying goodbye," he said, blushing.

"Goodbye? Where are you going?"

"Well I was going to go back to the house here, it hasn't been sold yet," he told her. He had told us downstairs that he was cleaning it up again, just to keep it nice until it was sold.

"Do you think we can pick you up for breakfast tomorrow morning?" my mom asked hopefully. She was so… cheerful. As soon as she realized Jasper and I were back together, she was done being concerned and back to loving him like he was her son, as she'd done in the past. Maybe she was a bit too trusting. Weren't moms supposed to be over-protective like "you broke my daughter's heart I don't ever want you back in this house again"? Well, I guess not, and I couldn't see her doing that, but a little bit less friendliness towards him? Oh well.

"Of course, Esme, I'll be ready to go. Just give me a call." He handed me a slip of paper. "My new number," he explained. I smiled at him as he stood to leave, stretching. I laughed at him again, my giggles echoing like the pops from his back through the room, something the walls were missing and had been without for a while.

He left the room quietly, leaving my mom there staring at me.

"Oh mom, that kid…"

"I know, believe me, I know," she said, walking over to kiss me on the forehead. "I'm glad you're happier now, sweetie."

"Me too, mom."

A/N: Aww… just writing what the characters told me to, plot line from months ago. I'm not sure what I'm doing next, maybe ending it. Probably. But I don't want to do that… sigh. Anyone out there that read 'Til You Fall, are you interested in me re-posting and finishing that? Also, is there anyone out there that would be willing to listen, despite what is said, because I really need someone to talk to. Any ideas on the story? Comments? Concerns? Answers to questions? Help? Review please. At least let me know you're still out there.

Kasey