* A/N: Warning for mentions of rape *

Dan was relieved to know that Phil would be kept unconscious for the examination. He knelt beside the bed, holding his boyfriend's hand tightly as a different doctor worked carefully behind a sheet spread across Phil's lap. Every once in a while he'd make small noises in his sleep, and Dan would lean in and press his lips to Phil's forehead, squeezing his hand and hushing him gently. He worried that he wasn't as out of it as he'd believed: that he could feel everything and was in terrible discomfort but unable to escape it. Dan kissed his forehead again. "It's almost over, baby."

The doctor finished up and got Phil's hospital issue pants back up. She didn't say anything to Dan before leaving, but if the sad, sympathetic look she gave him was anything to go by…

Dan swallowed an acidic taste in his mouth. He looked back to Phil, silently wishing that he could take the pain away; that he could've saved him; that he could've taken his place. Dan would much rather take it all for those long months than let Phil suffer it once. He felt even sicker when he found himself wondering just how many times it had happened over the six months he was gone. Was it just once, twice? A dozen or a hundred times?

"Mr. Howell?"

Dan hadn't even noticed that the primary doctor, Dr. Klein, had come into the room and was now standing beside him. The curtain once circling Phil's bed was drawn back, and he stood there, towering above Dan with clipboard in hand and a solemn look on his face. Dan looked up, anticipating wordlessly.

"Dr. Massey has concluded the exam. Based on her observations, she's estimated frequent multiple assaults spanning over the last four or five months. Fortunately, she was able to collect DNA material."

Dan let out a quiet sob, knowing what that DNA material would be. Some horrible person –or people- had raped his boyfriend, multiple times over the last few months. They had fucking cum inside him in the just a day or two ago. Dan felt his blood boil, tears pricking in his eyes.

"-And if the DNA can be matched to any person, they will be brought to justice."

Justice in this case would mean no more than a few years in prison –they'd get off easy. But Dan also knew that at least that meant they couldn't hurt anyone else, and Phil would be able to know for sure that his abuser couldn't hurt him anymore. Dan stroked Phil's cheek as he slowly started to wake up.

"Hey, have a good sleep?" he asked softly. He didn't feel comfortable having to be so gentle with Phil, who'd never needed Dan to be soft with him before. He was so much stronger once. Dan frowned as he shook his head. "Didn't think so…" he sighed. He didn't want to worry his boyfriend with his worries. He dragged his thumb over his cheekbone, grazing softly over the painful-looking scar.

The day they went home, Dr. Klein tried to hand Phil a card with the number to a crisis counselor. Phil declined softly and stumbled out the front door of the hospital. Dan was two steps behind him, pocketing the card anyway.

In the taxi, Dan was relieved that Phil laid against him, head on his shoulder. Dan hadn't been taking chances with touches: he'd touch his face, which seemed okay, but he couldn't pull Phil close to him like he wanted so desperately to. He tried once, and Phil had gone into hysterics. It was painful, but Dan didn't risk trying again. He accepted that if Phil wanted closeness, he'd initiate it himself.

He kissed the top of his head, and they rode in silence.

It wasn't until they got into their flat that the quiet was broken. "Home again, babe," Dan smiled, this time genuine. Six months, three weeks, and three days since Dan had reported Phil missing, and even longer since he'd been home before Christmas, had gone by, and finally, Phil was home.

Dan caught the ghost of a smile on his boyfriend's lips as he took in the familiar space. It made him smile a bit brighter. "I haven't touched our room except to sleep in our bed. I think it still smells like you." He tucked the counselor's number and a prescription for sedatives and antidepressants into a drawer before stepping closer to Phil. He was standing in the middle of the lounge, arms splayed out slightly at his sides, seeming to just be taking everything back in.

Dan smiled shyly and was approaching now. "Can…" He swallowed. "Can I have a kiss?"

He didn't know why he was even asking. He knew at least part of what his boyfriend had just recently been through, and now he was asking for Phil to kiss him? This was wrong. This was very wrong and he was a horrible boyfriend for being so self-

And then Phil's lips were on Dan's, soft and hesitant but there. He seemed to want it as much as Dan did, but still so scared and conditioned to please. Dan took a risk and placed his hand on his neck, stroking gently with the pad of his thumb.

When they pulled apart, Dan stared into the pale blue eyes that had lost so much luster, but he could still find love in them. He smiled and pecked his lips again softly. "Are you ready to talk about it yet?" he asked carefully. He didn't want to pressure Phil into talking yet if he wasn't ready, but he was worried he might need some prompting. He had to tiptoe delicately around the most painful bits of the past, which wasn't easy when he had so little information on what happened.

Phil shook his head sadly. "Not yet," he murmured. He'd been so quiet lately, and Dan would do anything to just hear his beautiful voice like he used to. "Soon."

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