Chapter 28: Red Makes Five
Christmas Eve 2011
One would be surprised that Maclaren's is really quiet on Christmas Eve; In fact, it's practically the definition of "Silent Night" during this time of year. Never have i ever had a bar where I could lay back on the busiest shopping day of the year. It was a quiet afternoon with only me, Ted, Barney and Marshall drinking at the bar. We were all sitting at the booth, with it being almost deserted with the exception of Carl in the back, and a few patrons in the other booths.
"You know a good rum when you see it, Ollie." Said Ted. We were drinking a bottle that I had been saving for a while.
"Arr," I laughed. "That be the point, Captain Ted, you scurvy dog."
The others laughed at my pirate voice.
"Guys!" Said Barney. "I think we should start a classic tradition among us right here: open one present on Christmas Eve!"
"Sounds good." I said. "It's too bad I don't have any gifts on me." I had set up a small Christmas tree in my kitchen back at home, with about 8 presents under it. I guess not being with my family for so long caused things like that to happen. It hurt that I wasn't with them, especially during Christmas. But I was hanging out with Juno, so that kinda count. I mean, I said before that she and Cindy were like my sisters if I ever had one.
Barney then pulled out presents from under the table
.
"I got you guys present to open tonight!" He grinned.
Marshall opened his, two Vikings hats. One for him and one for the baby when it came.
"Thanks, Barney! I think the baby's really gonna like these."
Barney nodded. "Ted," he said. "You're a boring professor, but a professor needs one of these." He handed a small box to Ted. He opened it to find a short silver stick, about the length of a pen.
"Uh, what is it?" He asked.
Barney replied by taking it from him, and pulling it. It extended to give a great pointing stick.
"Oh! Sweet! This'll be great to use during class." Said Ted happily.
"And, it also has a laser pointer." Barney demonstrated by hitting the bottle of rum with the laser beam. It glowed a faint red.
"And for you, Ollie." He said. "We've only known you for over a year." He started talking in his "Presentation voice". He usually only used this voice when giving a fake history lesson.
"You've been working here for just over a year, but you've become a good friend of ours. You helped us destroy the Arcadian, you've helped me nail several chicks, and you've overall been a great Bro." He pulled out my present. This one wasn't wrapped. "I give you, your copy of 'The Bro Code'!"
He handed it to me as I stared in awe. Barney managed to get the Bro Code published, but that wasn't the one I was given. I was given a bigger one with a hardcover, and a ribbon bookmark. The entire book even had more articles than what was in the original published version. The front had a letter enclosed that said that the copy of the Bro Code was officially mine.
"Holy crap, Barney. This is awesome! It means so much that you think of me as a friend like this."
"Where's my copy Barney?" Asked Ted.
"Ted, it's real simple: Ollie scored me over 8 chicks, lying every time to help me. That's the most anyone I see on a regular basis has done for me in my life. As a result, this guy gets the Bro Code."
I flipped through the pages, skimming the articles. The inside looked just like the regular published version, expect the pages looked to be made of real parchment. I then noticed Article 75: a Bro automatically enhances another Bro's job description when introducing him to a chick.
"Hey, I followed this. I think I remember helping you with the free breast reduction consultations play a few months back."
"And for that, Ollie, you are now officially my Bro."
I hadn't really connected with Lily as a friend, only seeing her at the bar during certain moments. But Marshall and I connected on a lot of stuff, including the paranormal, and football. Sometimes those moments of seeing them were getting rarer and rarer with their baby coming sooner and sooner, and I realized that if I wanted to connect with them at a friendlier level, I needed to do something soon. My opportunity came a few days after Christmas.
This was yet another year not going back to Port Angeles for New Year's. But I didn't mind it. I was enjoying the time at the bar with most of the regulars, while Marshall and Lily were at the booth discussing something. Finally I heard something that made me look up like a deer in headlights.
"Look, Lily. If we go out to Long Island for New Year's Eve to unpack the baby room, we'll need movers for it. In your condition, it's a bad idea."
I walked over. "What's going on about Long Island?"
Marshall smiled. "Hi, Ollie. We're planning a move-in of our new house on Long Island for New Year's Eve."
"Do you need help?" I asked.
Marshall looked surprised "You'd do that? You'd really help us? How do I know you won't do something?" He looked suspicious.
I laughed. "If you're referencing the incident when that neighbor boy threw a party in your house while you were trapped on the roof trying to make the symphony of illumination, don't worry. I have no doubt Lily will kick my ass if I do it to you."
Lily nodded, smiling. "This guy knows me. If you want help Marshall, we got help right here." She smiled at me. "We'd love an extra set of hands."
So on New Year's Eve 2011, I headed out to Long Island in the moving truck with Marshall and Lily. We were soon driving out of Brooklyn on the way to the house.
"So tell us more about yourself, Ollie." Said Lily. The cab in the front of the truck was a bit cramped with all three of us sitting side by side.
"Not really much to tell." I replied. "I'm from Washington, which you already knew. I hunted for a living in my teens. I moved to the big city with dreams. I've always wanted to start my own bar here in New York. As Ted told you I took the Econ class he accidentally taught."
Lily and Marshall laughed. "It was his first day on the job. He was super nervous. I hope you understand that, Ollie." Said Lily.
It was silence for a few minutes before I said "Screw it." I took out my iPod, and cranked up one of my favorite songs. As it started playing, Marshall looked over at me with glee, while Lily rolled her eyes. Marshall and I were soon singing along, while mimicking a walking motion. Turns out we both listened to the same road trip song.
"And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more/just to be the man who'd walk that 1000 miles to fall down at your door."
"You like this song too?!" He said, happily.
"Yeah! It's the best song ever!" I replied.
Marshall then told me about his old Fiero, which died out almost 5 years ago. The song 500 miles was on a tape stuck in the cassette player in the car, and wouldn't play anything but that song.
"Sounds like fun. My biggest road trip was to San Diego from Port Angeles. I played this song at least 50 times."
"Oh, good! We're here!" Said Lily. It sounded like she was happy to stop listening to the song.
We were soon pulling up to a nice little house in a suburban neighborhood.
"Wow. This looks like the perfect place to raise a baby." I said. "Even the yard looks ideal."
"Yeah, my grandparents agree. That's why they left it to us." Said Lily. "Hopefully we can get used living here."
We made our way into the living room from the front door. It was filled with a few pieces of furniture, and boxes scattered about.
"We've been unpacking for the past few weeks." Explained Marshall. "You can start helping with bringing in the boxes for the kitchen, please, Ollie. It'd be a major help."
I saluted along with him for "Major Help", and headed out to the truck. Marshall and Lily seemed like an accepting couple to me. I guess they were happy to have the help. I opened the back of the truck, and started carrying box after box marked "Kitchen" into the house.
"Ollie, can you come up here?" Called Marshall, after about 20 minutes.
I got up to see the nursery being set up, boxes all around. Marshall was talking with Lily.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Lily thinks that she shouldn't tell her dad about the baby." Said Marshall.
I didn't know anything about Lily's dad, other than him creating Slap Bet. I had finished the game night a few months ago with what looked like a red hand tattoo on my face for a few days. It was still a fun game to play on lazy Sundays.
"Why the hell not?!" I asked. It didn't make sense.
"He was never there for me, so why should he care?"
I scoffed. "Lily, my dad and I never saw eye to eye on my future. He wanted me to work on Wall Street, and we all know that that's not me. It took me a while to tell him, but I now understand that if I had the chance, I'd be telling my dad everything in my life. We'd never be not talking. Same with Barney and Jerry."
"What the hell does that have to do with my own dad?" Asked Lily.
"My point is that I heard the last you spoke to your own dad was last Slapsgiving. Don't miss out on finally having what you've wanted with your dad: a real father-daughter relationship."
Lily sighed. "Fine." She pulled out her phone and started dialing the number. "But it's not like he'll be here for me. He's in Chicago at a board game convention."
She and Marshall leaned to the phone, and I heard a faint "Hello?" from the phone.
"Hey, Dad! I got some big news: I'm pregnant!" She said.
I heard a muffled response from the phone, then Lily looked at it in a mix of fury and confusion.
"What did he say?" I asked.
"He said 'great, thanks.' and hung up!" She said, clearly beyond upset.
I felt awful. I had pushed Lily into a rejection from her own father. Looked like I could kiss that chance of friendship "adios". As I helped them unpack some of the clothes in silence, Lily idly looked over at one of the other boxes in the room.
"Honey, what's this doing in here?" She asked Marshall. She produced a book out of the box.
"Oh that? That's 'Enigmas of the Mystical'." He said. "I'm gonna read it to baby Eriksen for bedtime stories."
"No way!" I said. "My dad read that to me every night when I was a kid!"
"What is it?" Asked Lily.
"It's a book filled with stories about ghosts, Bigfoot, Nessie, you name it." I said.
Lily looked at Marshall. "You want to read a book about monsters to our infant son?"
I laughed. "Lily, my dad read it to me when I was 4, and I immediately went out into the woods to find Bigfoot. It didn't give me nightmares. In fact, I think it was what inspired me to be raised as a hunter. Although, since I never found him, I can safely assume that he doesn't like us hunters."
Marshall nodded. "And also Lily, only they can use the 'M' word to describe themselves."
Lily scoffed as she started unpacking another box of clothes for the baby.
"Hey, Marshall, I may need some help in the kitchen."
Marshall headed down the stairs with me to the kitchen, where we started unpacking the cutlery into the drawers.
"So, I heard you're going home to St. Cloud tomorrow." I said.
"Yeah. It's a Vikings game tomorrow, and tailgating was a tradition with my dad."
"The Vikes are good, but who can forget the Hawks?"
Marshall nodded. "I'll give you that. They got to the Super Bowl a few years ago, and at least you aren't a Cheesehead."
We both laughed. I had a special place of hate in my heart for the Packers. I think I got into a bar fight with a Packers fan at one of the previous bars I worked at.
I cut open another taped up box. "Are you considering a name for your son?"
Marshall smiled. "You're the 7th person to ask that. I'm hoping Lily will agree for him to be named after my father."
"Oh, that's nice. I think you'll raise him well, Marshall."
"Thanks, Ollie. I don't know if you understand this, but to have you, an almost complete stranger to Lily, to help us with the house, it means so much to us."
"No trouble at all, Marshall." I said, smiling. "Listen, I'll stay here tomorrow and help Lily with the rest of the house while you're out in St. Cloud. The least I can do is help her while you watch the game with your dad."
Marshall tried the next few hours trying to convince Lily that the enigmas were real. I heard a door slam several times upstairs while putting plates away. I checked the time to notice Marshall's flight was leaving soon. Before heading upstairs, I noticed the table in the kitchen. It looked just like a place where the five of them could have lunches out on the Island. I headed upstairs where Lily and Marshall were sitting down on the bed.
"-there's a good chance I don't exist." She said.
Marshall hugged her. "How dare you!" He sniggered.
"Marshall, it's after 9. Your flight leaves at 11:30." I said. "Better get a move on."
Marshall grinned as he grabbed his bag, down the stairs, and out the door. He had called ahead for a taxi.
"Your husband sure is something." I said.
Lily sighed. "He is one of a kind. Did your dad really believe in Bigfoot?"
"Lily, my dad raised me to believe in a lot of things. Although he confessed to me a long time ago that he thinks it's all bullshit."
Lily flinched, because she was afraid the baby would pick up bad words before he was even born. Now that seemed like crap to me.
"I know I'm only an acquaintance to you," I continued. "but hear me out in saying that the little guy should grow up knowing that there's a world full of wonders just within his reach."
"You really believe in everything?" She asked.
"God, no." I said. "There are several things that are complete crap."
"Such as?"
"Luck. There's no such thing as luck. I always say that everything happens for a reason."
"How can you explain me and Marshall meeting, then? I think that was luck."
"Simple: you were meant to meet. That was fate. My cousin taught me to believe in fate, and disregard anything that has to do with luck."
Lily just ignored me, and kept unpacking more clothes. I put together the crib for the few hours. Finally, with 15 minutes left until midnight, I went downstairs and turned on the tv. I saw someone on it that made me freak.
"No fucking way! LILY! GET DOWN HERE!" I called.
Lily was on the couch as soon as she could to see Robin herself was counting down the seconds left to New Year's. It looked like from how she felt that this was the year where things were starting to look up. 2012 was also a turning point in my life just as much.
I ended up crashing on the couch so I could continue helping Lily the next day. I woke up to a knocking at the door. As I was getting up from the couch, Lily answered it.
A bald man with a small beard and a giant teddy bear was standing there, smiling.
"Dad?!"
"Hey, princess." He said.
I walked up to the door. So that was Mickey Aldrin. The "genius" who caused me to get slapped 20 times.
"I thought you were in Chicago." Said Lily.
Mickey laughed. "Yeah, I was."
Mickey then filled us in that after he hung up, he had spent a full ten minutes running around the convention hall screaming "my daughter's having a baby!" before taking off and driving until morning.
"Hah! Well look at that!" I said. "I still stand by it, Lily: Everything happens for a reason."
Lily rolled her eyes. "You got me, Ollie."
After a tearful reunion, Lily introduced me.
"Dad, this is Ollie-"
"Mr. Aldrin, I'm a big fan of your game, Slap Bet!" I shook his hand.
"Ah, nice to meet a fan! Great to meet you! Are you a friend of my daughter?"
I paused. I didn't know if I could be considered a friend of Lily and Marshall's. I had only-
"Yes, Dad, he is." Lily smiled as Mickey gave her the teddy.
"Where's Marshall?" He asked.
"Out in St. Cloud for New Year's. He'll be back later this week." Said Lily.
Lily led Mickey into the kitchen while I started a pot of coffee.
"So you offered to help with the move?" He asked me.
"Yes, I did. I can see that Lily will need all the help she can get as the delivery date is coming up sooner and sooner."
"So what do you do, Ollie?"
"I'm a bartender at Maclaren's. Lily and the others are my best customers." I grinned at Lily.
"Ollie told us he once played Slap Bet with a few friends." Said Lily.
Mickey was soon whipping out a pen and paper. "What was it like? Can I add stuff to it?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
Mickey explained. "I find it good to get reviews from first hand sources that I don't know personally."
"Well, the game can get quite competitive. Sometimes you just try so hard to slap the people you hate, instead of trying to actually win. I left my first game with a good handprint right across my cheek. I will say don't make any changes, Mickey. It's a great game."
"Got it. No changes." He nodded.
"You in the works for anything new?" I asked.
"Not really. I'm lacking of inspiration right now."
"Well if you come up with something, you got a loyal fan standing by to beta test."
I helped Lily and Mickey with the rest of the baby room, then headed back home that evening. Next week a power outage gave Mickey the inspiration he was looking for, and I helped him create Lights Out. You can even find my name on the box in small print: "Tested by Oliver Blake." On the downside, I stepped on a nail when designing the challenges with Mickey. And as you might assume, it hurt like hell.
Lily and Marshall showed much appreciation for the help I gave them that day, and we became much closer friends as a result. With that, Lily made five.