Amount of words: 5 851

Author's Note: Okay, so I know the timeline is going really slowly. I'm doing it on purpose. Please bear with me.

Previously on If You Could See Me Now: "Are you sure you're alright? No offence, but you look like the living dead," Jeremy remarked.
I smiled unconvincingly. "Yes, Jeremy. I'm fine," I said, lying through my teeth.
I could already feel the fatigue seeping through my bones, and I just knew it was going to be a long, endless day.

Chapter Five - Tuesday

Maths made me want to commit suicide. No, seriously. Once again Mystic Falls' syllabus was way more advanced than my previous school's, leaving me totally lost and ready to kill myself. Or someone. That someone being the annoying jock seated behind me who kept "playfully" kicking my chair.

After about the millionth time, I couldn't take it anymore. "Oh my gosh, can you stop?!" I yelled at the blonde, turning around in my seat. "It's kak annoying!" [Kak is the Afrikaans word for crap].

The dark brown eyes of Mike (the jock) widened with shock and his mouth fell open. There was dead silence, until some of his friends started sniggering. As soon as this started, and more and more people laughed, a blush rose on his cheeks and he looked down at his lap.

A deep satisfaction ran through me and I turned back to face the front, smirking, triumphal.

Mrs Becker, my maths teacher, opened her mouth and I just knew she was going to yell at me.

I glared at her and snapped, "No, you don't get to give me nonsense about this! He deserved it; he kept kicking my flipping chair even when I asked him – nicely – to stop. He kept doing it and I wasn't able to concentrate. So please tell me how I wasn't supposed to yell at him after 55 minutes of this."

Like I thought, Mrs Becker was speechless. I flashed a sarcastic smile at our irritating teacher and then the bell rang. I grabbed my book bag and breezed out of the room.

I had English next so I walked to Mr Webber's classroom. I was one of the first there.

"Good morning, Larissa," he greeted as I took my seat at the back.

I smiled and waved. "Hi, Mr Webber," I replied.

"Are you alright?" he asked concernedly.

I smiled at him and nodded my head. "Yeah, sure. I'm just getting adjusted to everything here; I'm still not used to everything," I explained.

He nodded and turned to write some stuff on the board while we waited for the other students to arrive.

I really liked Mr Webber – he was pretty cool. Even though I wasn't really fond of English as a subject, Mr Webber made it fun. He was in his late 30s or early 40s, I wasn't really sure. He had shaggy blonde hair that was all over the place. He wore stylish black rimmed spectacles over his friendly brown eyes. He was dressed in a surprisingly comfortable-looking suit. Overall he had the whole "professor" look going, and it really suited him.

A few minutes later everyone had arrived. Mr Webber quieted our class and then clapped his hands excitedly. "I have finally decided on what your term project will be, and I'm quite sure you will all find it…enjoyable," he started, his eyes glinting. "You will work in groups of three, which I will decide. You and your partners will work on a 'Who Are We?' project, which will count half of your term grade."

The class groaned, me excluded. I wanted to hear what we were going to do, exactly.

"This project will be fun," he assured us. "Basically you will interview your partners, and get to know them on a personal level. You need to ask everything, like hobbies, likes, dislikes…everything, basically.

You will need to take pictures to document your growing friendship. Be warned: The three of you will be spending a lot of time together, especially if you want a good grade.

After two months of this, you will together create a 'Who Are We' photo board, which will contain photographs, quotes, likes, and everything else you can. You need to be creative. You also need to do an oral presentation along with a slideshow the three of you made about these two months," he said.

The class nodded, unsure. I found myself a little excited. I loved taking photos, and I was sure this would be fun. The rest of the class didn't really share my thoughts, though.

"I cannot tell you express to you how much this project will count," Mr Webber stressed.

The class nodded. "When will we find out in what groups we are?" a blonde girl in the front asked.

"In a moment," Mr Webber replied. "Let me just get my paper."

There was light chatter around the room as our teacher searched for his paper. Within a few moments he found it. He started reading names and soon I heard mine.

"Larissa, you will be with Cailey and Mike," Mr Webber ended.

I groaned and let my head fall onto my desk. Why did I have to be with stupid, irritating Mike? At least Cailey (the girl from earlier) didn't seem too bad.

"You may begin now," Mr Webber said.

I stayed where I was with my head on my desk. I heard two sets of feet approach me but didn't react. They stood on either side of me uncertainly.

"Um, hi," Cailey started. "I'm Cailey Anderson…we're in the same group for the project."

"I know who you are," I mumbled. "We met this morning. Briefly."

"Oh, right," she mumbled.

I lifted my head and stuck my hand out to her. "Larissa Nieuwoudt, pleased to meet you," I said.

She hesitantly shook my hand.

A throat cleared and our heads snapped to glare at Mike. "Yeah, I know who you are," I said disdainfully.

Cailey laughed and said, "I see you've already met Mike."

"Unfortunately," I replied with a grimace.

Cailey dragged a chair over and sat next to me. I took the time to really study her, as I hadn't really given her much thought earlier this morning. She had pin-straight white-blonde hair that hung just past her shoulders. It was all one layer, and her fringe was pinned up to form a bubble. She was pale, but not extremely. Her face was heart-shaped, and she had a slightly sharp chin. Her nose was small and almost button-like, but in a good way. Her mouth was also smallish and naturally pouty. Around her pale blue eyes she wore a thin line of black eyeliner, making them slightly pop out. Cailey was quite small and short, but it actually fit her.

She didn't notice my gaze, as she was bantering with Mike. "Dude, shut up! I totally am better than you at flirting!" she snapped.

My eyebrows lifted. Interesting.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "And how would you know?"

I rolled my eyes and suggested, "How about this weekend, as part of our project, we get together at someone's house for a sleepover. We'll beautify ourselves and then go to the Grill or something, then see who can pick a guy – or girl, in your case, Mike – up the fastest. Who's game?"

Two sets of eyes stared at me, blinking; one gaze pale blue, the other dark brown.

"Okay," Cailey agreed.

After a slight hesitation, Mike nodded too. "At whose house, though? We can't at mine, my parents are having guests over from Europe," he said. He didn't sound pleased about said guests.

"We can't stay at my place, either," Cailey said apologetically, "My mother won't ever allow a boy to sleep over."

I sighed and bit my lip. "Okay, my house then." I then proceeded to give them the address.

The bell rang and I waved goodbye to the pair, who I guessed were kind of my friends now. I walked to where I remember the cafeteria was. I saw the back of Jeremy's head and grinned evilly, my earlier fatigue forgotten. I sneaked until I reached him and hugged him from behind.

He let out a surprised laugh and turned around. When he saw it was me, he smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist to give me a quick hug. "Someone seems happy," he teased.

I stuck out my tongue at him and grabbed his hand. I dragged him outside and to the spot where we'd sat this morning. When we reached it, I threw him a grin. "And I present to you, Our Spot," I said dramatically.

He grinned too, and I took a seat on the wet ground. I once again grabbed his hand and dragged him down next to me.

"See, now we can be all wet together," I said happily.

"I think the little sleep you've had last night is messing with your brain," Jeremy said, his voice amused.

"Ag is nie, you're just jealous you aren't as awesome as I am."

"What does 'ag is nie' mean?" Jeremy asked, stumbling over the pronunciation.

I giggled and said, "Ag. Is. Nie. It means "Psh, is not!" or something to that effect."

He nodded in understanding. He rummaged around in his school bag and offered me some chocolate.

I squealed and grabbed it. "Thank youse," I said, and took a bite. "Oh and I said 'youse' like that on purpose," I added.

"No comment," he said, lifting his hands.

"Good," I grinned, mouth full of chocolate.

We spent the next half an hour chatting…until it started to pour.

"Really?" I exclaimed to the heavens. "You're making it rain, NOW?"

As if in reply, a huge gust of wind nearly blew me over. I exclaimed and grabbed onto Jeremy's arm for support. This storm reminded me of the one I had the day I found out from Jackson that I had to come to Mystic Falls. I shivered and the two of us started running.

We were nearing the school building when I – you guessed it – slipped and fell. I hit the ground hard, bumping my head on the pavement. It hurt like a bitch. I tried to get up, only to fall again and hit my nose this time. I heard a crack and was sure I broke it.

Jeremy stopped running and crouched down next to me. The wind threatened to blow him over, but he managed to stay steady. "ARE YOU OKAY?" he yelled over the sound of the storm, rain having already soaked him.

I opened my mouth and said, "Sorta!" My voice sounded weird, and I could taste blood in my mouth. Frowning, I wiped my hand over my face and it came back red. Great, I was bleeding.

Jeremy asked me something, but I couldn't hear. I frowned and pointed at my ear. He came closer. "I said, can you walk? Or do I need to carry you?" he breathed into my ear, making me shiver.

It's just the cold, I reassured myself. "I think I'm alright!" I replied. He helped me stand up, and together we moved as fast as we could to the office. I was feeling lightheaded, and the world was spinning all around me. I hated the feeling.

Soon we were in the parking lot. I frowned when I noticed Jeremy leading me to an old car, instead of the office. I was even more confused when he unlocked said car and helped me inside, before running around and climbing in, too.

"W-what are you d-doing?" I stuttered, my teeth chattering.

Jeremy noticed and immediately turned up the heat as he started the car. "We're going to my house," he said simply and sped out of the school parking lot.

I decided to not argue with him. Luckily the drive to his home was over quickly, and he helped me out of the car. We stumbled our way to his front door and he hurriedly unlocked it. Once inside I breathed a huge sigh of relief. He led me upstairs and into a bathroom that I assumed he shared with his sister.

"I don't have my own clothes with me," I mumbled, shivering.

In reply Jeremy quickly left the bathroom, only to return with some clothes and a large, fluffy towel. "Take your time," he told me seriously. "Afterwards I'll look at your wounds."

I nodded and gratefully accepted the clothes. I put it down and, as soon as the door closed, stripped down to nothing. My body was aching as I climbed into the shower. The water was the perfect temperature, though, and I just stood there letting it sooth my aching body. After a while a grabbed the bottle of shampoo at my feet that I knew was Jeremy's (the other shampoo and conditioner was purple, so I doubted it was his). After washing and conditioning my hair, and washing myself, I closed the tap and climbed out of the shower.

I dried myself off and put on my slightly less wet underwear (which felt totally wrong and weird). I picked up the clothes and looked to see what it was. It was some sweats, a t-shirt, and an awesome Superman hoodie. The clothes were big on my body, but I guess that was to be expected. Jeremy was way taller than me, after all.

I towel dried my hair and hung up my wet clothes on the towel railings. I opened the bathroom door and peeked outside. I followed the sound of pounding rock and found Jeremy laying on his bed, wearing a fresh set of clothes similar to what I was wearing. He saw me and motioned me to take a seat next to him. Seeing my hesitation, he joked, "Come on, Larissa. I don't bite…much."

I laughed and took a seat next to him. He sat up and turned to look at my nose. After a while of poking and prodding, he nodded. "Your nose is fine, not broken or anything. You just hit it really hard."

I smiled, relieved. "Okay good, I'm glad."

Jeremy settled back against his pillows and got comfortable. "So what do you want to do?" he asked.

"Go back to school?" I suggested half-heartedly.

"In my clothes?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know what they will think, right? That we're hooking up."

I grimaced. That would be kind of a bummer. "No offence to you or anything, Jer, but I really don't want people to think that," I said.

He laughed and agreed. He suggested we watch a movie, and gave me the task of choosing one (which was turning out to be impossible). Jeremy shot down every single movie I wanted to watch, and now was my time for revenge.

I found the movie I now wanted to watch, walked to his DVD player, and put it in. I grabbed the remote and plonked down on Jeremy's extremely comfortable bed. I pressed play, and we waited silently for it to begin.

"I'd never given much thought to how I would die…But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go."

After a few seconds, Jeremy turned to me with an exasperated look. "Twilight? Really?" he demanded.

I smiled cheekily at him. "What? It's a cute movie," I replied sarcastically. I remember yesterday he'd told me he wasn't too crazy about it.

He stood as if to turn it off, but I grabbed his arm. I gave him puppy-dog eyes. "Please, Jer… Watch it, for me?"

He grumbled but lay down next to me again. I smirked evilly – let the fun begin.

An hour later, I somehow drifted off to sleep. I guess Twilight was just that boring to me. It wasn't that I hated it, per say, but I've watched it so many times that I was seriously just over it.

I was awoken by my stupid phone vibrating. Still groggy, I realized that Jeremy's arm was around my waist; somehow in our sleep this must've happened. I blushed a bright red and carefully manoeuvred my way from underneath him, making sure to not wake him up. I grabbed my phone and hurried out of Jeremy's room to answer.

"Hi?"

"Where the Hell are you, Larissa?! I've been waiting for you for over half an hour!" an angry voice demanded. Kerri.

I winced. Shit. "Um, I'm at Jeremy Gilbert's house," I mumbled.

There was a moment of silence. "Right. You're getting closer to him like Klaus asked, right?"

I frowned as I remembered Klaus asking me to become friends with Jeremy. That wasn't why we were friends, though. I really enjoyed Jer's company. "Yeah, that's it. Look, they'll drop me off later. Ok?"

Kerri didn't reply, she just hung up. I sighed and run my hand over my face.

"Is everything alright?" a feminine voice asked.

I screamed and whirled around, my hand on my chest. When I saw who it was, though, I slightly relaxed. "Gosh, Elena, give me a heart attack why don't you," I exclaimed.

She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, it's just…you sounded upset."

I half smiled at her and said, "Um, I'm fine, thanks."

She nodded. "Is Jeremy sleeping?"

My face flushed red as I remembered how I'd woken up. I nodded my head mutely.

"Um, can I get you anything?" Elena asked awkwardly. "Coffee, tea, water?"

"Coffee would be great, thanks," I said, and followed her down the stairs to their kitchen.

"So, Larissa… what made you move to Mystic Falls?" Elena asked as she started preparing the coffee. She shot me a glance and added, "If you don't mind me asking."

I shrugged and fed her the same answer I gave everyone else. "After the death of my mother a few years back, things never were the same at home. My dad turned into a workaholic, and my brother Nico turned into a complete jerk. I couldn't take it anymore, so when my half-sister Kerri offered me a new start here in Mystic Falls I jumped on the opportunity," I explained.

"I'm sorry," Elena said sincerely. Her pitying eyes bothered me. I hated it when people pitied me.

"It's okay," I said. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince: me or everyone else? "I'm okay."

~IYCSMN~IYCSMN~IYCSMN~

My first two weeks in Mystic Falls passed by without anything exciting happening. Jeremy and I became closer, and even Elena and Damon seemed to be warming up to me. The witch, Bonnie, kept sending me strange looks. I knew it was probably because she was sensing my magic, so I didn't say anything about it.

I was still a little bit bitter about the fact that Stefan had sent me home with that Cole guy, even though nothing happened to me. And I was even more irritated with Klaus for just abandoning me to Stefan's mercy. My revenge though was not telling him about seeing Elena, Damon and Mr Saltzman at the mountains. That's what he got for being a douche.

My project with Cailey and Mike were going good; we were all getting along, surprisingly. Unfortunately our fun flirting weekend had been put on hold till today, since Mike's family had had a tragic death (courtesy of Damon, of course, though no one knew that except for me).

I haven't heard anything from either Jackson or Klaus, which was starting to worry me. But I was reassured by the fact that if it was truly important, I'd be contacted.

Cailey had somehow bullied Jeremy into coming over with us. He'd said something about his sister going to Chicago or something.

My phone buzzed and I quickly checked it.

Will be there in 5 minutes x – Cailey

See you then x – Larissa

I checked over my room once again to make sure nothing was out of place. I was nervous to have Mike and Cailey sleep over – no one had been inside Kerri's house yet, not even Jeremy or Matt.

I hoped those two felt bloody well special.

My doorbell rang and I hurried downstairs to open up. Cailey. Her white-blonde hair had been curled to perfection, and it suited her quite well. Her pale blue eyes were rimmed in a thick layer of black eyeliner, making her look extremely dramatic. She was dressed in super tight black skinny jeans, black ankle boots, a startling red tank-top, and a leather jacket that only went to her waist. She looked dangerous, which was seriously awesome. At school she just looked sweet and innocent.

When she saw what I was wearing, her eyebrows lifted. "Great minds think alike," she said as she breezed into the house.

I laughed and led her upstairs. "Indeed," I joked. I led her to my room and awkwardly waited while she assessed it.

"I like it," she said finally. She grinned slyly at me and held up one of my photo frames and asked, "Is this your boyfriend?"

I looked closer and saw that it was a photo of Gabriel and I. We were on a yacht with his arms around my waist, smiling like crazy. "No, he's a friend of mine from South Africa," I said, sadness leaking into my voice.

"What's wrong?" she asked concernedly.

"We're not talking anymore," was all I said.

Thankfully she nodded and put her bags down. "Where's Mike?" she asked curiously.

Just at that moment, Mike emerged from the bathroom where he'd taken a shower. He was dressed smartly in dark jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

"Gosh, it seems like the three of us are crazy about leather jackets," I mumbled.

Cailey barked out a laugh. "Just not at school! God, if people knew I owned a leather jacket!" she couldn't continue speaking as she was hysterically laughing.

"Um, okay," I said and shrugged. I kind of got what she meant: at school she was all innocent and nice clothes. Now, she was dangerous.

"I think we look smoking hot," Mike said genuinely, and I found myself silently agreeing.

"Before we go," I started conversationally, "We need to take some pictures."

This caused Cailey to sober up. "Do you have a camera, Larissa?"

I nodded and handed her my precious baby Gabriel had gotten me a few years back. It may be old, but her pictures were stunning.

"I'll be right back, I just need to touch up my makeup," I told the pair and hurried to my bathroom.

I looked in the floor-to-ceiling mirror at myself: My usually untamed dirty blonde hair's curls were somewhat normal, curling around my face beautifully. I'd teased my hair a little bit, which made me look even better. My hair had gained a little bit of length thanks to the slightly less-curliness of it, and now reached my elbows. I was dressed in a short purple dress (nothing fancy, really simple) that reached mid-thigh. Over that I wore my one and only leather jacket (the one that Nico bought me last year for Christmas). I also wore stockings and heel-less black ankle boots. I looked good, I had to admit. And surprisingly, Mike was the one who helped choose my outfit. My eyes were done up also in dark kohl, and my lips in dark lip-gloss.

I quickly fixed what needed fixing and went back to my room. Jeremy had arrived. He was dressed in jeans and a dark blue button up. I quickly gave him a hug in greeting.

Together the three of us took about a hundred pictures: serious ones, dangerous ones, "sexy" ones, funny ones…every kind you could imagine.

At about 8 pm we left. Apparently Klaus had bought me a car for when I was old enough to drive, so I gave Jeremy the privilege to drive it. The car was a classic, exactly like the one Dean from Supernatural drove. I was crazy about that car.

We soon reached the Grill. Cailey hooked her arm through mine and we entered the Grill together. All eyes were on us, and I smirked over my shoulder at "our" boys. Jeremy rolled his eyes, and Mike wiggled his eyebrows.

I went to the bar and plopped myself down, with Cailey next to me. The bartender looked vaguely familiar, and then it clicked.

"HEY JANCO!" I exclaimed cheerfully.

He laughed and gave a sarcastic wave. "Looking good, Rissa. I bet daddy is so proud," he said sarcastically.

I flipped him off. "My daddy doesn't care," I shot back. I smiled angelically at him and asked, "Can I please have something to drink?"

He playfully narrowed his eyes at me. "That depends on what you want."

I glanced at Cailey, and together we said: "Bourbon!"

"What's this about Bourbon?" Jeremy asked from behind me. He came and put his arms around me, shooting a disgusted look at the freaky old man next to me.

I smiled up at Jeremy and said sweetly, "I want something to drink, Jer. But Janco doesn't want to give it to us." I pouted.

Jeremy glared playfully at me. "You're fifteen; you're not allowed to drink."

"But the drinking age in South Africa is fifteen," I whined. "Right, Janco?" I winked at Janco so that he would agree.

He laughed at me and swatted me with the dish towel he had in his hands. "Don't talk nonsense, you want Nico to klap me?"(Klap – slap).

"Yep!" I said cheekily. "Anyway, Janco this is Cailey, Mike, and Jeremy. Guys, this is Janco, a friend from back home."

The guys nodded at each other, while Cailey and I rolled our eyes. Cailey shot me a sneaky look then leaned forward, not-so-subtly showing off her cleavage. "Please can we have some Bourbon, Janco?"

Janco tried – he really did – to not glance down Cailey's top, but ultimately he failed. "Fine," he grumbled. "But if someone asks, you didn't get it from me."

Cailey and I high-fived and eagerly accepted our alcohol. I made a move to turn, but suddenly remembered Jeremy's arms around me. "Uhm, Jer," I said quietly.

He suddenly realized his arms were still around my waist and immediately let go. I handed him his glass of alcohol. On the count of three, the three of us downed it.

"WHOOO!" Mike exclaimed and pulled us girls into a group hug. Jeremy quickly snapped a picture. I stuck out my tongue and grabbed my camera. I handed it to Janco. "Will you please take photos of us throughout the night? We'll be too busy having fun."

"Sure," Janco replied, shrugging. "My shift ends soon, anyway."

"Are you okay after Sunday?" I whispered.

He flushed and nodded.

I waved and joined my friends at the pool table with a round of shots I'd managed to get.

"Here's to you moving to Mystic Falls," Mike crowed.

We clunk our shot glasses and quickly downed them. It tasted amazing. Cailey cheered and asked, "So, who's my first victim?"

The four of us glanced around the Grill, looking for someone not too far out of our age group. In the far corner I noticed a shy-looking guy. He had short black hair, light brown eyes, and nice features. On his nose was stylish black glasses that made him look cute. He was surrounded by his friends, and they seemed to be having fun. He was holding some comic book.

"Go over to that guy," I told Cailey, nodding at the shy guy I was looking at.

Mike was horrified. "You want her to flirt with a loser who reads comics?" he asked.

I glared at him. "Reading comics doesn't make someone a loser," I snapped at him.

He snorted, "Sure it doesn't."

"Are you saying I'm a loser?" I asked him dangerously, but trying to hold in my laugh.

Mike paled and immediately stuttered an apology. I smirked at Jeremy and Cailey. "That's what I thought. Now off you go, girl," I nudged her towards the guy.

On her way, Cailey stumbled a bit, and I knew the alcohol was finally hitting her bloodstream. I was on my way to laugh at her with Jeremy and Mike, but as I turned a wave of dizziness also waved over me.

Mike saw this and burst out laughing, his earlier embarrassment forgotten. "God, don't tell me you're a lightweight," he choked out.

"Shut up," I mumbled and took a seat. "Um, Mike it's your turn."

He looked all excited and puffed out his chest. "Who is my target?" he asked with a ready grin.

I absently realized how Cailey used the word "victim", while Mike called his girl his "target".

"Go to Miss-I'm-Better-Than-Everyone over there," Jeremy challenged. I looked in the direction he was pointing and had to squint to make my world stand still. The girl was gorgeous in a way that made me totally jealous and insecure, so I quickly glanced away.

Mike said, "Wish me luck!" and he went off.

I wasn't sure what happened next. I guess the extra alcohol Janco sneakily gave me hit me a little hard. All I was aware of was loud music, flashing lights, drunken walks on abandoned roads, and then nothing.

I don't even know how we got home. One moment I was laughing my head off, while Mike was singing seriously off-key. Cailey's makeup was smudged and she had a love bite on her neck. I, too, had one.

"We're special," sung Cailey and hooked her arm through mine.

Jeremy just grumbled and muttered, "No, you look easy."

I knew that, had I been sober, those words would've stung. But at that moment in time I didn't have a care in the world. "Bitch, we're fabulous," I yelled at Jeremy, with Cailey drunkenly agreeing.

The next moment I was in my bedroom. Cailey and I shrugged out of our clothing and, dressed only in a t-shirt and boxers, fell asleep.

~IYCSMN~IYCSMN~IYCSMN~

[AN: The italics are part of her memory that was in chapter 3, and what is BOLD is what's happening now.]

That night I dreamt of the day I was so desperately trying to forget.

There was blood everywhere. Not the fake blood you'd expect to see on Halloween; no this was the real deal. The blood was soaked into the ground, into the torn up pieces of decorations everywhere. My heart was struck with horror and a suffocating fear. What the Hell was going on?

I hesitantly walked forward, desperately searching for any sign of life. Where were Janco, and my brother, and everyone else?

The front lawn was clear – except for the blood, of course. I walked around the side of the house and immediately stopped. My mouth fell open in a silent scream. Janco's girlfriend Jessie's broken body was expertly pushed underneath a bush, which made her almost invisible to see from the front lawn. Her lifeless silver eyes stared unseeingly into the sky. Her neck was bent at an odd angle, while pieces of her flesh were missing.

In my nightmare, her broken and bloodied head completely twisted around to look me in the eyes. "This is your fault, Larissa," her broken voice said. "YOU KILLED ME! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?!"

My mouth fell open and I backed away. When Jessie started to robotically stand up, I whimpered and ran away from her accusatory eyes. I knew deep down it wasn't my fault, but this was a nightmare after all.

My whole body just felt…numb, for lack of a better word. I was sure that what I was seeing hadn't completely registered in my mind yet; I was still in denial. Jessie couldn't be dead. She just couldn't. It was impossible to imagine a world without Jessie and Janco together.

I continued through the little gate and entered Janco's backyard. I walked stiffly and robotically – I wasn't sure if I was going to see anything that would once again wake me up.

"You killed me," whispered the ghostly voice of the long-since-passed Jessie. "Larissaaa, why didn't you save me?"

I ignored the raven haired girl, even as her bloodied form started to walk alongside me.

"He's in the backyard," she whispered sadly, fearfully. "Underneath YOUR tree."

"I know," I whispered. I hated this nightmare. The first few weeks after The Accident, I continually dreamt about it. I knew what was coming.

I finally saw him. Janco, too, was covered in blood. He was sitting on a soft spot of grass underneath my favourite tree – the one I always read underneath on hot, sunny days. The tree that used to be my favourite spot…up to now. Now all it is was a place of horror and death.

Janco's eyes were blank as he stared at his bloodied and bruised hands, which were shaking slightly. He moaned pitifully and grabbed at his hair. "What have I done?" he cried into his hands. "Oh, God, what have I done?"

"He killed me, Larissa," Jessie said again. Her bloodied face appeared in front of my own and she grabbed my shoulders. She shook me roughly as she cried, "He killed me and nobody knows! YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE I WAS MURDURED!"

I winced and felt my own tears leaking down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Jessie! I couldn't tell. Janco didn't kill you on purpose," I whispered.

Her silver eyes blazed with fury. "It doesn't matter! Murder is murder AND I WANT JUSTICE!"

I sniffled and desperately said, "He's my friend, Jessie! I can't just hand him over to the authorities, especially after all these years!"

Janco disappeared, and suddenly I was at the Nahoon Beach, which was ten minutes away from my house in East London. The wind was vicious and unforgiving; the waves crashed against the shore and rocks without mercy.

Jessie stood before me, my mother appearing next to her. I fell to my knees as sobs wracked my body. I knew this was real; my mom only visited me in my dreams when it was important. I hated when she visited me, even though I missed her dearly.

My mother stared down at me – her usually warm green eyes were hard and full of anger. "Why do you keep on protecting him, Rissa? He killed someone," she demanded. Her voice was strong and powerful; just like always.

"I-I love him, Mom! He's my friend!" I cried.

"You call the man who killed your cousin your friend? How dare you!" Jessie screamed.

"The Spirits are upset with you," Mother said, this time more calmly, more cold. "Fix this, or there will be consequences."

Before I could formulate a response, I was jerked back into consciousness. I sat up, gasping, my clothes drenched in sweat.

From next to me, Cailey groaned and slowly lifted her head. She peered at me through sleepy eyes. "Are you 'kay?" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

I nodded frantically. "Yeah, sure. Go to sleep, Cailey," I said, trying to control my breathing.

"M'kay," she replied and immediately fell back asleep.

Only now I felt the headache pounding away at my brain. I groaned and slowly stood up. I needed water, now. I made my way out of my room and downstairs painfully slow, my head pounding in beat with my heart. I finally reached the kitchen and thankfully slid down to the ground. My whole body ached, but the cold tiles helped somewhat. I decided to just stay on the ground and die.

"Dude, what the hell?"

My whole body froze. I knew that voice.

"You haven't been gone for even a month and you're already drunk!" Tayla laughed.

Shit.