A/N: sorry for such a long wait. I wanted to update last weekend but it was my birthday so I didn't really have time. On top of that I had terrible case of writer's block. I want to thank everyone who reviewed. You guys give me a reason to keep writing.

Disclaimer: only way I would own BTR would be kidnapping them .so no dont own them

Chapter 6

"carlos" Logan breathed out. "hey" he said quietly. "no, not again."Logan began to shake his head as he sat up on his bed. "Logan whats wrong?" Carlos said reaching for his hand. Logan quickly moved it away from him. "don't! You're not real. I can't have you here." Logan covered his eyes with his hands. If he didn't look at him he would go away.

"oh Logan. Not this again." carlos moved closer to him putting his hands on his shoulders. "I am real. I'm not a delusion." Logan slowly uncovered his eyes "Y-you're real?" Carlos nodded with a half smile. Logan leaped from his spot giving his loving Latino a big hug that nearly sent them to the ground.

"Wait! I need someone to see you. I've been told that I need to confirm everyone I meet now." Logan got up grabbing Carlos' hand and dragged him to the hall. They almost immediately bumped into Kendall. Kendall turned around and a huge smile came across his face. "Logan! You came out of your room. That's great!" Logan nodded. He squeezed Carlos' hand hoping Kendall would say something.

After a few moments of awkward silence Carlos finally spoke. "I think he wants you to say you can see me" "oh! I'm sorry Logan I forgot." Kendall gave Carlos a big hug. "hey Litos how are the kids?" "their have you and James been?" "He's been good, he had off today so he stood home to rest?" Carlos nodded. Logan just stood there happy Carlos was real. "thanks Kendall."

Logan turned back to Carlos. "I'm really happy you're here, and you know, not a figment of my imagination." Logan laughed holding Carlos' hand tighter. "Logan I came to tell you something." Carlos said looking at the ground. "ok, but I want to show you something first."

Logan dragged Carlos down the hall to the elevator. After Logan swiped his ID ,which unlocked the button for him, he hit the button and waited with a huge grin on his face. "Logan I really want to talk to you." Carlos said as serious as he possibily could. "ok babe but I really want to show you this." Logan said excitedly as the elevator finally came. Carlos sighed. "ok."

They went inside and Logan hit the bottom floor button. After a few moments the doors opened again. Logan practically took Carlos' arm off from how hard he was yanking at it. "Logan calm down before I lose my arm. You're really hurting me. Logan please slow down." Carlos begged and pleaded.

"We're here." Logan swiped into the art room and opened the door. Carlos took his arm protectively afraid Logan would begin to yank it again. Logan slowly walked across the room towards the windows. He stopped in front of a canvas. "I made this for you" he turned the canvas toward Carlos.

He couldnt breath for a moment. The painting was very simple, nothing very fancy but you can tell all love that went into it. The painting was of two figures, you couldnt really tell gender but Carlos knew. One of the figures was slightly taller then the other and was looking down at the shorter. That figure was looking up at the other. The taller figure was blue and the shorter was red, theirs hands which were joined together were purple. The blue one had a light but still very noticeable zigzag line on its head. It all came together with a beautiful solid black background.

Carlos was almost in tears. "Logan... It's beautiful." Logan's grin couldn't possibly be any bigger. "oh! I'm so happy you like it. See" he began to point at different parts of it "the blue one is me and the red one is you. Your red because you're energetic, passionate and loving. I'm blue because well... It just matches me. Here is we're forever joined" he pointed to the hands. " as purple"

"what about this?" Carlos pointed at mark on the blue figure. "oh that's where im broken, but you still love me" he took Carlos' hand gently. He leaned down to kiss his beautiful man. "Logan wait. We really need to talk." Carlos said as Logan lips were less than an inch away. "ok... What's up?"Logan said walking across the room to one of the chairs.

Carlos just stood next to him. "um... I- I don't know how to say this..." he began to stutter and shake nervously. Logan got up to comfort him but Carlos just backed away. "Carlos, baby what's wrong? Is it the kids? Did something happen?". Carlos just stood there shaking his head. "no the kids are fine. I- I've met someone new. I'm leaving you."

Logan felt like someone took a knife and stabbed him in the heart by the words Carlos was saying. He felt the whole floor be pulled from under him and him fall into a bottomless pit. "no please. Carlos... please " Logan began to cry and beg for his only love not to leave.

"it's too late Logan. I've meet someone and he loves me and he's there for us. You've been here for 3 years Logan. That's 3 anniversaries, 3 of each of your children's birthdays, you're gonna miss dak's graduation, you've missed all of their games. Do you realize how much they miss you? how much I missed you? You can't really expect us to wait for you. To stop our whole lives. I can't let the kids and myself suffer through that. I'm sorry Logan. I will always love you but i can't wait forever."

Carlos had tears in his eyes as he moved closer to Logan. "I'm so sorry Logan" he reached for Logan hand. "don't." logan whispered backing away "you lied to me" tears streaming silver lines down his pale face. Carlos had a face of confusion. "how did I lie?" "you lied every time you said you loved me. I gave you my heart and you took it knowing how hard it was for me. How hard it was to open up. To be so vulnerable, you knew how scared I was."

Logan was hiccuping between words. "then you used that to shatter my heart into a million pieces. Then to make it worst you think 'I'm sorry' can fix it." Carlos looked down at his shoes unable to look into the eyes of the man his was breaking."I actually wish you were a delusion, maybe this would hurt less. At least look at me. Look at me while you destroy my heart." Logan said with so much anger and venom but also with much sadness.

When Carlos looked up the floor tilted under him. He had never seen anyone this hurt since he explained Logan's illness to katie. If anyone could put a photo to heartbreak it would be Logan at this moment. All those emotions quickly left his face a turned into pure anger as if his sadness had left him. "now leave, you liar." Logan's words were drench with venom. It stung Carlos' heart so much but he turned around and left the art room.

Logan stood there for a moment before slowly sitting in a chair. His tears no longer being able to be contained. "liar...liar...liar" was all he continue to mumble. About twenty minutes later "hey Logan! I just saw. Carlos leave crying. Is everything ok?" Kendall said walking in. "Logan!" Kendall had walked in on Logan with a shard from one of clay pots in his hand. Logan was laying by his painting, which was slashed between the two figures, his left wrist cover in blood. He was barely conscious.

"Logan?" Logan could hear something in the distance but couldn't focus on it. "Logan? Can you hear me? Please wake up." Logan began to slowly open his eyes. The light momentarily blinded him."ugh" he groaned trying to sit up, but feeling to weak to move he ended up falling back on the bed. "logan!" then Logan felt someone hugging his arms. He looked down to see a very familiar head of black ruffled hair on his chest.

"Carlos?" "yes. Oh Logan why would you do that?" Carlos asked sitting back in the chair by logans bed. His eyes were red and puffy. Logan looked down at his wrists. The right looked so small in comparison to the bulky bandaged left. "why are you here?" he whispered. "you left me." "logan I know but that doesn't mean I don't care for you." Carlos had so much pain and hurt in his voice. "actually that's exactly what that means Carlos" venom and pain laced in his words. "Logan you are still the father of my children. I still love you."

Logan looked at Carlos in shock. "you can't do this Carlos" "do what?" "say you are leaving to then say you still love me. It's just cruel. You have to make a choice stay in that seat and be with me forever or get up and leave, never come back." "Logan?" "Choose." Carlos looked in his lap, his mind and heart battling his choices. He looked up making his choice. He saw Logan had paled badly, his eyes were drooping shut. "i don't feel well." darkness crept in his vision taking over quickly, eyes had shut.

"Logan! Logan! Logan get up!" Logan opened his eyes "Kendall?" "hey buddy came to check on you for James and found you alseep, when I checked again you were crying in your sleep. What were you dreaming?" Logan looked at his wrist both perfectly normal. "Kendall has - has Carlos come?" he asked slowly. "Logan you know real Carlos doesn't actually come here." he said patting Logan shoulder.

"it was all a dream?" Logan whispered to himself.

A/N: Ok so please dont hate me for this. Writing in dreams is sorta my thing. I might write one more but I don't want to confuse you guys any more. What do you guys think happened to the real Carlos? And would you guys like to get to know Dak? Like always please review.

Till next time :D