Broken Dreamers

An Ah! My Goddess Miniseries by

Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)

Part 5: Keiichi's Broken Dream

Morisato Keiichi didn't know until late in his life, but he was born under a star.

That in itself was nothing special: stars were so numerous and widespread that it was virtually impossible not to be born under one, somewhere. Some were even expertly positioned so that certain people would be born under them, and that may or may not have been the case with Keiichi.

What is not up for debate is that Keiichi's star was a star of misery.

From the moment he was born, Keiichi was exposed to an unusual amount of the star's radiance. As he grew, so did the radiance. By the time he was a teenager, Keiichi had basically accepted that he was destined to live a boring, unfortunate life, and the star's light was so potent that only divine intervention could've altered his life for the better.

Fortunately, that is exactly what happened.

But divine intervention is remarkably like regular, everyday intervention, in that it requires someone or something to intervene. And if that essential force, for example, chooses not to intervene, or more specifically, takes away the agent of its intervention, things would return to normal.

And for Keiichi, normalcy was misery.

When Belldandy returned to Heaven, there was really only one reason that Keiichi didn't try to stop her.

He had accepted that his happiness, even with her, was not meant to last. If he could not escape misfortune with Belldandy at his side, what other fate could there be in store for him? It had to mean that he was meant to be unhappy, and that God, for whatever reason, had absolutely no problem with that.

There was no point in being angry. Just because Hild supposedly liked him, it didn't mean that God had to. In fact, for all Keiichi knew, maybe God didn't like him BECAUSE Hild did. There was no way to be sure.

What Keiichi was sure of was that Belldandy never gave up on anyone, least of all him. So she could pretend that this was her decision all she wanted, but in the end, he knew better. Belldandy loved him, more than anyone else ever had, more than Keiichi felt he ever deserved to be. She would never leave him of her own free will, so it had to be another's will at work.

Keiichi had never been overly religious, but the day he realized that God had taken away his happiness was the day he simply stopped caring. He couldn't bring himself to hate God, but he would never allow himself to believe in anyone who could cause him so much pain without even offering an explanation. It wouldn't matter where he went when he died: without Belldandy, he was already in Hell.

Then again, some would've argued that being on a first name basis with the Daimakaicho, as well as being a personal friend of her half-demon daughter, was more than enough to guarantee VIP status in Hell. And while they would've been right, Keiichi was no longer in a state of mind where he could appreciate such a dubious honor.

Now he lived solely for what he knew could never be. Many times, he woke up in the morning expecting to see Belldandy greeting him, telling him how she had changed her mind and come back to him. But it was only ever Skuld, and after a while Keiichi no longer bothered to hide his disappointment, since she could sense it, anyway.

They almost never fought anymore. Anytime Skuld got upset with him, the anger would suddenly drain out of her in mid-rant, and she would go work on an invention until she'd calmed down. She even started doing most of the housework, although she expanded Banpei's programming to assist her in doing so. If Keiichi were not so alarmed by the changes, he might've realized that Skuld was doing her best to fill the Belldandy-shaped hole in his heart. But all she really did was remind him that Skuld would never behave this way if either of her sisters were still around.

So even though Skuld had stayed on Earth solely for him, Keiichi had never felt more distant from her.

If Hild had come to him the day after Belldandy left, Keiichi would've never listened to her. Instead, she allowed him a whole month of Belldandy-free life, by which time he was all too open to alternatives.

The Daimakaicho entered his life in the usual fashion: interrupting an otherwise quiet dinner with an enormous explosion (which turned out to be Banpei firing all of his missiles, as Skuld had commanded him to do against such a formidable foe). Then she simply walked through the front door, with Banpei trapped in a pink bubble floating at her side.

Skuld instantly pulled what looked like a bazooka out of the back of her dress (and again, Keiichi didn't dare to wonder where she'd been hiding it) and aimed it at Hild's head. "Not another step!" she shouted. "Drop Banpei-kun right now!"

Hild stared at Skuld for a moment, and then simply ignored her, turning instead to Keiichi. "Kei-kun, I'd like to talk to you."

It took a great deal of willpower for Keiichi not to hide behind Skuld. "W-Why?"

Hild sighed. "I would like to point out that I did try to knock on the door. But the little robot attacked me before I could. I even arrived a good distance away and WALKED, so I wouldn't wreck anything. Do you know how long it's been since I walked ANYWHERE? My Urd-chan was still in diapers!"

Skuld made a face at the thought, and in that instant, the bazooka was neatly encased in another bubble, floating swiftly out of her hands. Scowling, she started to reach into her dress again.

Keiichi grabbed her wrist, blushed when he realized what he'd almost grabbed instead, and quickly let go. "Wait, Skuld."

"What?!" Skuld cried, glaring at him. "Keiichi, she's-!"

"She's trying," Keiichi said simply.

"But you can't trust her!"

"I can listen for a few minutes, though."

"Fine!" Skuld snapped. "But anything she has to say to you, she can say in front of me!"

Keiichi shook his head. "I don't think she walked here so she could talk to both of us, or she would've said so."

It was the nicest way he could think of to ask her to leave them alone, but Keiichi still felt like dirt as the hurt flashed in her eyes.

"If she tries to kill you, I won't save you!" Skuld shouted as she leaped up and ran from the room.

"I was hoping to avoid something like that," Hild sighed, plucking a long, white hair from her head.

Keiichi watched in awe as the hair rapidly lengthened between her fingers, filling out into a silvery-white cocoon, which split open to reveal a new, child-sized Hild, complete with her own star and jewelry seals. The girl aimed a small wink at Keiichi before running after Skuld.

"Don't worry. She's only going to make sure that Skuld-chan is okay," Hild stated.

"Please don't make me regret hurting her," Keiichi said quietly. "Tell me you have a good reason for being here."

"I do," Hild insisted, sitting down across from him. "I heard about you and Bell-chan, and I want to help you."

"We're not getting back together," he sighed.

She smiled. "Not 'you' as in 'you two,' Kei-kun. Just you."

"Me? Why?"

Hild shrugged. "I like you. And though she'd never admit it, my Urd-chan loves you, in her own way. So I'm here to help you. I can understand your hesitance, given our history, but I was only doing my job. You may not like that, but a job can be extremely important sometimes. Why else would Bell-chan leave you to return to hers?"

Keiichi looked down. "Can we talk about anything else, please?"

"Of course," she murmured, reaching over to pat his hand soothingly. "I want to offer you a contract."

He immediately jerked his hand away.

"That really hurts my feelings, Kei-kun. I'm not infectious, you know. Not this week, anyway."

Keiichi made a small whimpering noise.

"I'm kidding, mostly. Not about the contract, though. I'm sure it will benefit us both."

"How?" he asked warily.

Hild leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and propping her chin up with her hands. "I'll see to it that you'll never know the pain of loneliness again, Kei-kun. All you have to do is think of me as a sort of second mother. You'll keep your free will, of course, but how much I help you is directly related to how much you help me in return. If you want total cooperation, I'll expect the same. If you only need me sometimes, it'll be the same for me."

Keiichi stared at her. "Um... this sounds like something you'd normally be offering to Urd."

She pouted cutely. "Do you really consider being one of my children such a bad thing, Kei-kun?"

"Well, not exactly. Urd is nice enough SOME of the time, but-"

"Do YOU think I'm a bad person?"

Keiichi bit his lip, unsure of how to answer that without getting blasted through the wall. "I guess you're basically a good person that sometimes does bad things."

Hild gasped in fake shock. "Bad? Me?! When?!"

He frowned. "There was the time you had that... thing pull out everyone's angels."

"But I was going to replace them!"

"But with demons!"

"So?" she demanded. "I could've just left them that way! THAT would've killed them. I just wanted them to be my children, that's all!"

Keiichi had the oddest feeling that she was telling the truth. "Why do you have this fixation on everyone being your child?"

"Isn't it obvious? Because the one child I did have naturally rejects me."

"So, what? You're trying to make Urd jealous?"

"No, but if that managed to work..."

"Then what is it? Why is it so important to you?"

Hild sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm lonely, too, Kei-kun. Oh, I have tons of demons that'll do whatever I say, but so few of them actually appreciate me or genuinely care about me."

"But... with this contract, aren't you just forcing me to do that? It wouldn't be real."

She giggled. "Not true. You already care about me, simply because I'm Urd-chan's mother, don't you? Why else would you hurt Skuld-chan to give me a chance to speak to you? I appreciate that, by the way."

"Well, Urd doesn't hate you, so... I don't think you're all bad," Keiichi admitted. "But you're on the other side."

Hild laughed. "Oh, Kei-kun, you're so funny! Honestly, you don't really think you're on their side, do you? Have you ever been to Heaven? Been given access to Yggdrasil? Seen a goddess other than the ones who come here? If you were really on their side, there would be no reason for Bell-chan to leave you. You aren't on their side. You just aren't on mine yet, so you're not an enemy, but you are a threat to them now. You almost caused Bell-chan to choose you over her duties."

"It's not like I asked her to!" Keiichi protested.

"No. You just told her you loved her," Hild murmured softly, offering him a sad smile. "Sounds like the sin of the century, doesn't it?"

He looked away, digging his fingernails into his knees. "It isn't fair..."

"No, it never is. But it can get better."

"But... if I can't trust God... why should I trust you?"

"Because God isn't sitting in your dining room, offering you a contract, Kei-kun. In fact, I'll make that part of our contract. If the Almighty One ever appears to you, in human form, on Earth, you can opt out of our contract."

Keiichi laughed bitterly. "You say that so confidently. You already know it won't happen, don't you?"

"And if I do, doesn't that just prove my point?" Hild offered her hand to him. "You don't even really have to fully trust me, Kei-kun. Just keep caring about me the way you have so far."

He was startled to realize that he wanted to trust her. Hild was many things, but she was also right in front of him, offering her help. And on top of that, she hadn't destroyed his life (although not for lack of trying, he had to remind himself). All she seemed to want was a family, even if she went about it the wrong way. And maybe if he did join her, he could gradually convince her not to be so... bad. Or at least to stop attacking four certain goddesses.

"Tell me your wish, Kei-kun," she whispered, staring into his eyes.

Keiichi would never recall choosing to speak the exact words, almost as if Hild had drawn them directly out of his heart. But in the end, he knew they were the words he would've chosen, anyway.

"I want you to protect me from the pain of my loneliness."

He slowly reached for her hand, but Hild vanished from sight, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

"Your wish is accepted, Kei-kun," she murmured into his ear, resting her chin on his shoulder, "my darling boy. Mama Hild promises that you'll never be lonely again." Her hands slid up until they covered his heart. "One way or another, a part of me will always be with you, right here. And so will a part of your beloved Bell-chan."

Skuld was asleep in her room.

At least, that was what anyone using one of Yggdrasil's terminals would believe.

They would not be aware of the small girl, who bore a striking resemblance to the Daimakaicho, going through Skuld's closet and trying on her clothes. Nor would they be aware of the black, sheep-shaped, seal on Skuld's forehead, or of the fact that it temporarily weakened her connection to Yggdrasil, to the point where it convincingly feigned sleep in every sense that mattered.

This was not quite hacking the system, of course, which was both forbidden and supposedly impossible (although because more than a few demons had managed it, nobody in Heaven ever liked to admit it). Hild preferred to think of it as tricking the system, as there was no actual invasion of the computer involved, and the seal would fade in a few hours, leaving Skuld slightly confused but otherwise fine.

"It was for your own good, Skuld-chan," the girl commented, tossing aside another dress that was a bit too pink for her tastes. "You three all wasted your chances to win Kei-kun. So interfering with the new challenger will not be allowed." She paused and looked out at the night sky. "Oh, it's starting already. I can hardly wait!"

High above them, a single star was slowly bathed in crimson light.

Keiichi had thought it was merely a dream, at first.

Belldandy had appeared in plenty of those, but it was different this time. She was surrounded by a red aura, singing and twirling around with her arms flung wide and her dark, bat like wings fluttering, eyes closed as she danced. It was only when he got closer that Keiichi realized what was wrong.

From head to waist, she was Belldandy. But after that, there was only a curious, crimson, funnel-shaped cloud. Almost as if she were an angel.

Or something like one, at least.

"You... you're my angel, aren't you?" he whispered.

She stopped, opening her eyes and smiling at him. It was so like Belldandy's smile, and at the same time, completely different. But Keiichi found that he didn't really care. She was here, and that was all that mattered.

"I have to give you a name, right?" Keiichi asked. "Something that suits you."

The angel placed a finger against his lips and shook her head.

"No, you're right. Something that suits us."

Nodding, she gently took his hand, lacing her fingers through his.

With that simple gesture came a flood of knowledge that Keiichi knew he couldn't have gained any other way. "You don't have a form of your own. You can only borrow someone else's. And... you'll become whatever my heart desires." His face fell. "But... that isn't fair to you."

She merely tilted her head and smiled, raising their joined hands. He understood it to be her way of saying, "It's okay. I'm only here for you."

"My angel is my reflection," Keiichi murmured. "The mirror that holds my broken dreams…"

Keiichi had never expected that Peorth would be the first goddess that fell to him. He'd always thought it would be Urd, and suspected that Hild had thought much the same. Still, it was not really a problem. Just as each of the goddesses loved him, Keiichi returned that love, just in a different form. He had been attracted to Peorth from the start, which was almost entirely her own fault for throwing herself at him. Even when she'd stopped and become a friend, the attraction hadn't so much lessened or gone away as it had been overshadowed by his love for Belldandy.

But with Belldandy gone, Keiichi had come to realize that his feelings for the other goddesses seemed to be amplified, perhaps somehow compensating for Belldandy's absence. Or perhaps the emotions had always been that strong, and his love for Belldandy had once been even stronger. Whatever the cause, Keiichi never doubted that what he now felt for Peorth was love, even if its roots had grown from lust.

Actually capturing Peorth was far simpler than he'd expected. Her guard had been down, and he had taken her by surprise, but that had also been the case with Skuld, and Noble Scarlet had fought back.

"Oh, that's simple, Kei-kun," a mini-Hild told him later that night as they sat on the roof of the temple. "You know that there's a certain distance between Skuld and her angel. Their thoughts aren't always obvious to each other. Noble Scarlet felt her power being drained, and thought Skuld was in mortal danger. Skuld was too afraid to know the difference herself. But Gorgeous Rose is far older and much closer to Peorth. She didn't come out because she knew you weren't actually going to hurt Peorth."

Keiichi frowned and shook his head. "But that implies that she has no problem with Peorth becoming a demon."

"Why should she? If Gorgeous Rose is willing, there's no reason to replace her. She wants to stay with Peorth. I don't doubt that Holy Bell would do the same thing."

"So you won't separate them?"

"No, I won't. No one should be made to feel lonely if it can be avoided, Kei-kun." The girl stood up and stretched her arms. "Well, I have a few things to take care of. When Peorth is ready, just call me, okay?" She leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. "Oh, and I know she's a new toy, but don't play too rough with her yet!"

Once she was gone, Keiichi looked up into the night sky, his gaze focusing on the single blood-red star, twinkling ominously. He raised his hand, pretending to close it around the star. "It won't be long now, old friend."

Peorth was understandably startled when she woke up in Keiichi's bed. There were two angels holding her in a tender embrace. One was obviously Gorgeous Rose, but the other looked a great deal like Belldandy, if someone had dipped her in red paint. Then she noticed the bat like wings on the angel's back.

"Don't be afraid. She won't hurt you."

Peorth looked up to find Keiichi sitting at her feet, staring at the wall. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which made it easy to see the pink, star-shaped seal that covered most of his back.

Keiichi noticed the direction of her gaze. "It's necessary. Even Hild can't turn off a star without some trouble, and I asked her not to. It didn't do anything wrong."

"What does a star have to do with anything?" Peorth asked.

"It's my star. The one I was born under. The one that gives me my power."

Peorth's eyes widened. "You don't mean the red one I passed on my way down here, do you?"

"That's the one."

"But, that's impossible! If you've really been absorbing power from a star all this time, you'd be-"

"Powerful enough to defeat an unsuspecting goddess?" he offered mildly.

She frowned. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Don't look at me like that. Despite what you may think, I do love you, Peorth."

She blinked, her face heating up. The old Keiichi never would've stated it so plainly. This one seemed like he was weary of all the mind games that relationships seemed to require. "W-Why did you make that contract with me, then?"

"So that you couldn't run away from me, like she did."

"I could still run. There are rules that protect-"

"You're not a goddess anymore. Show her, Broken Dreamer."

The Belldandy look-alike released her hold on Peorth and floated into the air. She went hazy around the middle, and a mirror appeared over her stomach.

Peorth's mouth dropped open in shock. The blue, diamond markings on her forehead and cheeks were now bright red.

"Being a demon is really your only option, if you want to keep your angel," Keiichi pointed out. "All you really have to do is accept the offer. The rest can be arranged later."

"And if I refuse?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure. I imagine Hild would want to take the power back, but I don't know where that would leave Gorgeous Rose." Keiichi bit his lip. "Say yes, Peorth. It's the only way I can make sure you survive."

"So live as a demon, or die? Are those the only choices you've left me?"

Keiichi smirked. "Belldandy's a goddess. How happy do you think she is right now? How happy are any of them, the last time you saw them?"

Peorth frowned. "Still... this is-"

"Different. But it could be good different."

"Why did you even bother to make the contract, if you were just going to make it terms null and void?"

"To show you that I'm serious. Also, so that Heaven will have a record of you entering the contract willingly. I want you with me, Peorth. But more than that, I want you to want to be with me. I'll take what I can get at this point, though."

"You never would've gone this far before."

"And what has that gotten me, Peorth? Nothing but pain and loneliness."

"You're wrong!" Peorth shouted. "I loved you even then! The only reason I couldn't act on it was because of Belldandy!"

"That's no excuse," Keiichi replied. "It was the same for me. But Belldandy isn't here now, by her own choice. My choice is to have you with me. There's no point in arguing. You can't lie, and your angel doesn't know how to be subtle."

That much was true: Gorgeous Rose and Broken Dreamer were embracing happily just over Peorth's head. It was a connection beyond mere friendship, or even having something in common. Angels could not really appreciate such things, anyway. They only knew, instinctively, when they had found a soulmate.

Just as Peorth knew when there was no more point in fighting. Already, she could see the changes occurring in her angel. Gorgeous Rose's white, feathered wings were melting away, revealing dark red bat wings underneath. Even the brown vines she wore darkened to a rusty red.

"Is this really what you want?" Peorth whispered. "What we want?"

"Only the voice in your heart can tell you that, Peorth," Keiichi answered. "What does it say to you?"

Peorth closed her eyes, placing a hand over her heart. A smile slowly spread across her face. "It says she wants to change her name." She opened her eyes as her angel's new wings folded around her. "I agree. From now on, you'll be my Glamorous Rose."

Keiichi smiled, closing his eyes as he felt Broken Dreamer's arms sliding around his neck. "It's time. They're ready now, Hild-san."

An instant later, a mini-Hild marched into the room, wearing a nurse's outfit, and carrying an enormous syringe under each arm. "OKAY, Pet-chan! From now on, you're my brand new Demon First Class, Special Duty, Unlimited! But first, you have to take your shots to get rid of any lingering goddess cooties you might be carrying! Kei-kun, hold her down!"

Peorth gasped as Keiichi grabbed her arms. "Wait! What are you doing?!"

"Eh, sorry about this," Keiichi apologized, looking embarrassed. "But it would be a problem if someone from Heaven were able to keep track of you now, so we have to do this."

Hild grinned manically. "Alright! Nurse Hild Hyper Injection, GO!"

Peorth screeched as Hild jammed the needle into her arm with no obvious skill or gentleness. She immediately went limp in Keiichi's arms, less because of what was in the needle and more from the sight of it sticking out of her arm.

After a moment, Hild yanked the needle out and dropped it on the floor. "Right! Now comes Needle Number Two!"

"No!" Peorth protested weakly. "Don't you dare touch my Glamorous Rose!"

Hild blinked at her, then grinned wickedly. "Who said anything about her? This one's for you, too! One in the top, and one in the bottom!"

Glamorous Rose and Broken Dreamer exchanged worried glances before covering each other's eyes.

Peorth's eyes widened as Hild approached her. "NOOOOO!!!"

Skuld jerked awake in bed, bumping the sleeping form next to her.

"Grmph. What are you doing?" Urd grumbled, swatting her sister's arm lightly.

"I thought I heard a scream!" Skuld whispered, her eyes wide with fear.

Urd sighed. "I know you're nervous about seeing Belldandy tomorrow, and that's the only reason why I agreed to stay over tonight. But if you're going to keep this up, I'm going home."

"No, Urd!" Skuld cried, latching onto her arm. "You promised you'd stay with me!"

"And I will, so long as you stop hitting me while I'm trying to sleep!"

"But I really did hear something!" Skuld insisted. "It sounded like someone in a lot of pain!"

"Wait, I think I hear it, too," Urd murmured, sitting up.

"Really?!"

"Yeah. Sounds like it's coming from... you!" She immediately whacked Skuld in the face with her pillow hard enough to send her tumbling out of bed.

"OW!" Skuld glared up at her from the floor. "Urd, you jerk! That really hurt!"

Urd glared right back at her. "It'll hurt worse if I wake up to you hitting me again!"

"Fine, I'm sorry I hit you!"

"And I'm sorry I didn't hit you hard enough to knock you out. Now come back to bed."

Pouting, Skuld climbed back into bed, being sure to keep to her side. She stiffened when she felt Urd moving closer, but relaxed as Urd's arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Go to sleep, Skuld," Urd murmured into her hair. "And don't worry about tomorrow. I'll be with you."

"That isn't the part I'm worried about," Skuld whispered, closing her eyes. But despite her concern, they were both asleep in seconds.

End of Part 5.

Next Chapter: Norns Night Out

Belldandy and her sisters have some issues to work out. Especially since she is far better informed than they are. But that knowledge has its own price.

Endnotes:

As far as I know, the "star of misery" is only mentioned in the first anime episode. But then, the anime also stresses how rotten Keiichi's life is prior to meeting Belldandy, so an outside force being responsible makes more sense than simple streak of bad luck.

I'm not really sure how Hild makes the mini-Hilds, so I just came up with a simple method.