Warning: Definite male/male relationship as well as . . . male sex. Yeah, it's finally here! The title of this chapter is also another title to the song from the previous chapter or two, 'The Promise', from Michael Nyman. This version's a bit slower and a bit longer, but I won't post a URL since it's in the last two chapters and I figure any other dramatic, romantic music would work better. Plus, you all are probably tired of having to click on it and listen while reading, some people prefer to just read. Well, I won't stop you! Enjoy! 

Oh, and I apologize for the length, but the sex wouldn't give me a good place to stop and neither did the rest of the chapter. I hope you all don't mind! ;)

Chapter 15

The Heart Asks the Pleasure First

Naruto stood in front of Sasuke, his chest bare to the waist. He'd taken the hospital shirt off and let it fall to the ground with a whisper of sound. Sasuke had still been unable to move until Naruto smiled shyly at him, anxiety clearly warring with this new bravado.

"So . . . I've never really done anything like this before," Naruto started, the nervous movement to his hands, both of them, catching Sasuke's eye. Naruto glanced at his wrapped fingers, formed them into a fist a couple of times and then looked back at Sasuke.

"I don't regret it, coming back," he said firmly.

Sasuke was too busy fighting the haze in his mind as he followed the line of Naruto's throat to the dip in his collar bone, and down his chest, to the rippling of muscle in Naruto's abdomen as he spoke. He couldn't understand why Naruto had captured his mind so completely this time, when he'd spent so many hours during a spar or training staring at the same thing without becoming so aroused. Or, maybe he had refused to admit it at the time, preferring to run from it or calling it a distraction from his goals. How laughable that seemed right now. Especially with Naruto's voice in the background: slightly hoarse from misuse, just as scratchy, deep and dry as always, but still so beautiful. Sasuke knew that he had missed it certainly, but when he had heard it, calling so softly, with his back turned, the jolt of excitement and fear and passion had been instantaneous and warm and arousing all together. Sasuke wet his lips quickly. God, he really had missed it.

Naruto looked down at the special glove on his hand again and back at Sasuke through lowered lids. There eyes met and a hot, driving force seemed to overtake them both. There was no escaping it. They could only claim it and hope, washed away in a sea of passion, to follow the current.

Crossing the spare hospital room in quick strides, Sasuke collided with Naruto in a crushing, sensual kiss, lips and tongue meshing hotly. He brought his hands up to thread his fingers in Naruto's hair and then brushed them along the sides of his face. Naruto had wrapped his arms around Sasuke's back with a force that was both like, and unlike, the strength he carried with him in battle. Ferocious and commanding, he pulled Sasuke in until their bodies melded together with hard muscles covered by smooth skin rippling under their clothes passing exhilaration by at the contact. Sasuke could feel the calluses on Naruto's fingers work their way over his shirt and up to his scalp. Sasuke hummed in appreciation at the different texture. He leaned into Naruto, brushing heated kisses along his neck and over his ear, nibbling at the bottom of a little. At first, Naruto sighed and made small sounds in the back of his throat. But, when he felt Sasuke's lips nibbling at his earlobe, he gasped. Then he felt his breath whirl in his ear and he giggled a bit. Embarrassed, he pulled back only to feel Sasuke's arms grasp onto him tighter as he pushed them back toward the bed. They fell together, Naruto ending up on his back with Sasuke driving the breath from his lungs as he came down on top of him. The proximity and the impending threat of actual sex made Naruto suddenly nervous again.

"Uh, Sasuke," he said as he felt the other boy continue to use tongue and lips to pleasure his neck and move lower down to his shoulder. When there was no answer except more kissing, Naruto brought his hands up and pushed at his chest. Sasuke looked down at him, confusion bright in his eyes.

"Naruto? What is it?"

"Uh, remember I said I hadn't done anything like this before? I meant, you know, well . . ."

For a moment Sasuke stare at the bed sheets before glancing down at him only to look away again hurriedly.

"Naruto . . . you're not the only one, you know. But, if you want to stop at all, at any time, just tell me, okay?" He was looking at Naruto now, and that made him feel better. The serious tone in his voice and the tenderness that had softened his eyes made him feel warm and had chased the anxiety in his stomach down to a much quieter level. Naruto took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before swallowing a little.

"O-okay. I just thought . . . well . . . if we could go slow, and if you could . . . be the one to . . . do it. Um, I mean, I wouldn't mind if . . ."

Sasuke smile again and there was no hint of a sneer or any sarcasm in his voice as he strove to banish the unspoken fear.

"Naruto, however far you want to go, we can do. I'm new at this too, so it might not be everything you might be thinking about. It might be even better. But, if you trust me, because I trust you, then I think it will be okay, whatever happens. Alright?"

Naruto smiled at that, brighter and feeling more confident than before. Sasuke reached over his head own head and pulled his shirt off before grazing kisses along his skin again, moving further down until he traced the skin around his belly button. Naruto grunted and gasped, enjoying the new sensations. The nervousness bloomed again when he felt a hand at his crotch, stroking up and down and mixing with a heat tightening in his stomach. He gasped and shifted his hips around. He felt the bed dip deeper as Sasuke lay down on top of him fully. All the heat and pleasure bubbled up and warred with the queasy feeling in his stomach and Naruto let out a small, shaky moan. When Sasuke centered his hips down on top of Naruto's and began pressing and rolling them up and down, Naruto gasped again. His penis had begun to ache and it scared him a little. It had also become uncomfortably hard and grown larger, he could tell. He had no idea really, what happened during sex. They hadn't exactly covered anything like it in academy training. He wished now that he had read Jiraiya's books more thoroughly.

The thought of Jiraiya and all that they'd done and seen on their travels, how he had died, what he had kept from Naruto, nearly silenced the pooling and tightening in his abdomen and chased away what he knew had to be the first erection of his life. He could see his dick softening a little already.

"Sasuke!" he called desperately, wishing for some kind of reassurance or an explanation as to what was happening.

"Naruto, just tell me, does it feel good?" Sasuke whispered gently in his ear. Sasuke's eyes had slipped closed somewhere along the way and he opened them slightly to peer at Naruto' face. The glow from the lamp on the nightstand beside the bed had washed him in bronze tones that complimented his already honey colored skin.

"Uh, I think so, yes," Naruto admitted, not wanting to sound as naive as he felt. Sasuke brushed their hips together again, then reached a hand down to unzip first Naruto's pants and then his own.

"Yeah?" Sasuke crooned silkily. Naruto nodded quickly. He smiled warmly at the assertion as he reached inside and grabbed onto Naruto's stiffened penis and drew it out. Naruto wondered vaguely through the haze of passion and fear at being touched and aroused so quickly whether Sasuke knew that he could make faces like that. He cried out and shut his eyes tightly as Sasuke's fingers squeezed the swollen flesh of his cock and arched his back when his hand stroked up and down.

"Shhh, Naruto, we're going to get into trouble if you get too loud," he admonished.

"I can't help it," Naruto forced out breathlessly, twisting a little on the sheets, "It feels good." His face had twisted in a combination of pleasure and anxiety, lighting his eyes to a cool blue that Sasuke had never seen before.

"Look down for a minute, Naruto. Look at how you get when you're aroused. Your penis is thick, hard and not too long. I like it like this."

Naruto shifted his eyes down quickly and then away before daring to try again, this time for far longer.

"Really?" he asked, risking sounding like some nervous girl if it meant he could grab hold of something that would help him understand some of what he was feeling.

"I've never had sex, Naruto. But I have touched myself, at night, when no one would see. I've never been this hard though."

Sasuke brushed his exposed boxers and the bulge Naruto could see there against the hand holding onto his cock. Naruto arched up again, feeling Sasuke's hand move quicker and with easier strokes. Looking down, he stared at it, fascinated slightly by the reddish color and the length of it. It no longer looked anything like it did whenever he had to use the bathroom. When Sasuke reached in and brought out his own penis, the nervousness intensified at the same time as the coiling in his stomach increased.

"Touch me, Naruto. Touch yourself. Let yourself feel how good it is," Sasuke murmured next to his ear while grunting occasionally and panting heavily. He brought a hand up to rub one of Naruto's nipples and twirl it in between his finger and thumb. Naruto made more soft noises with his mouth closed. His cock felt wet now and he looked down quickly, scared that something bad had happened. Clear fluid leaked from the tip and Sasuke was rubbing up and down the whole length and surrounding the reddened tip with it steadily. The feeling was getting stronger and Naruto had to look away again.

"Touch it, touch me," Sasuke said again, more urgently. Naruto gave in and reached over, despite his hands shaking badly, and wrapped his fingers around Sasuke's penis. It felt hot, velvety and also hard as he held it in his hand. He could feel muscles twitching and pulsing inside. Swallowing roughly, Naruto began to stroke and caress it clumsily until he learned to follow Sasuke's movements on his own cock. Learning by example really could be a lot of fun, Naruto thought, and he grinned while humming deep in his throat. Sasuke had begun to make little noises of his own while rubbing his legs together with Naruto's, eyes closing every so often whenever Naruto increased the rhythm. Sasuke then took hold of his hand unexpectedly and brought it down to fondle his own cock. Naruto was amazed that it felt the same as Sasuke's yet different in a way. His was a little shorter and thicker, as Sasuke had said. It felt amazing. He watched Sasuke's face, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks when Sasuke smiled at him and stared down at their hands petting and rubbing at each other's penis.

"Sasuke," he breathed out, "Nnnnhh, hmmm, it's hot. What . . . what are you going to do now?" he finished airily, voice coming out higher than he wanted. Sasuke drew him into a deep kiss, tongues mixing together, his hand brushing along his jaw and over his ear before they both circled his hips. Naruto felt his pants and boxers being pulled away and he squirmed, feeling the nervousness shift back to his stomach and lower, slamming into his arousal though he felt strangely harder and hotter than earlier. When Sasuke disappeared for a moment, Naruto breathed in harshly and quickly a few times until he saw the familiar mop of glossy black hair and Sasuke returned to shift Naruto further back onto the bed and spread his legs a little. Lying back down on top of him, Sasuke could feel the slight shiver in the skin and see a bit of dull panic shielding the passion he found so enticing. He felt nervous fluttering in his own stomach and swallowed thickly. He had no desire to hurt Naruto, now or ever again, but he was pretty sure this was going to hurt, a lot. He had been telling the truth about this being his first time, but he had also seen enough while traveling with Orochimaru through less than reputable areas inside the towns they had frequented. He'd watched both a heterosexual and a homosexual couple make love on several different occasions. What was even more mortifying than finding both to be mildly arousing was that Orochimaru had known about them and teased him every day afterward for weeks with sly smiles and knowing looks.

Sasuke lowered himself slowly and rubbed their erections together again a few times before drawing onto his hands to stare at Naruto's face. He was so very captivated by the flickering emotions behind the yes and the swirling change of color it nearly made him drunk. He had experienced that a few times as well, and realizing that Naruto truly didn't know enough about any of this, nearly got off the bed completely. No, he wouldn't, couldn't do that to him. He had to let Naruto decide, which meant that he had to tell him what would happen next.

"Naruto, I've never done this before, but," at his words, Naruto had focused in on Sasuke, a suspicious glint flitting into his eyes. Sasuke hurried on.

"I've seen it, in a few villages I went to with him." He knew there was no need to clarify who he was talking about. Suspicion gave way to worry as Naruto continued to gaze at him.

"He never did anything, don't worry. But, I want you to understand that if you want me to keep going, it's going to hurt. You may even bleed."

A look of near terror passed over Naruto's face. He breathed out and Sasuke watched his chest rise and fall with it. Naruto blinked once, slowly. When he opened his eyes, the fear had calmed and hidden itself well, though Sasuke knew it was still there. Naruto, ever the tenacious optimist, wasn't going to let anything like that get in the way. Sasuke smiled when Naruto licked his lips and opened his mouth, then hesitated. He shifted his hands down to Naruto's cock then slid one of them lower and pressed against Naruto's anus.

"I'm going to put it inside here, Naruto. But, I should prepare you a little first." He could see Naruto's mind trying to work out how as confusion pulled his mouth into a frown. Sasuke worked a finger into Naruto's ass slowly and steeled his resolve at the warning hiss from his partner.

"What the . . . Sasuke, nngghh, that feels weird. I don't think I like it."

"Relax," he said soothingly. Sasuke used his other hand to coat Naruto's penis in more of the sticky fluid and drew the finger out only to replace it with two of the slicker ones, changing hands smoothly. He had remember a little late that the men he had seen usually used oil, cum or saliva to help with the friction. Pain twisted Naruto's features as Sasuke worked them in deeper, grunting at the extremely tight feel to the muscles inside. Really, he'd had no idea that it was so tight, though he supposed it made sense as it wasn't a natural sex organ and only allowed a few men to feel pleasure at all during sex of this kind. He hoped, for Naruto's sake, that he was one of them. If he was being really honest, he had fantasized about it too, late at night under the cover of starless nights or alone in his cell, so he should probably be hoping the same about himself.

"Sasuke, nnhh, ow, it really . . . I don't know if I can do this."

Sasuke levered up to plant light kisses on his jaw, feathering them up over the marks on his cheeks and tugging at his bottom lip, finally pressed their mouths together. He drew the kiss out, pressing harder, as he worked his fingers in deeper and wider, spreading the interior muscles as much as he could. When he felt Naruto stop tensing up and the fingers that had dug into his upper arms relax a little, he stopped moving his own fingers in and out but held them still inside the hot tunnel. Testing Naruto somewhat, he pressed into the walls of his rectum and fondled his way up and down. Naruto grunted and scrunched up his face, reddened cheeks sweating, breathing coming in heavy, shaky waves.

"It doesn't feel good at all? Not even a little?" he asked worriedly. If Naruto wasn't the type to grow excited at the stimulation of intrusion then this wasn't right; it wasn't right at all.

"Sasuke, nngghh, uh, I think . . .Uhhh, there," he said, panting and rolling his eyes into the back of his head a little before glancing down at his own cock and what little of his anus he could see. The sight of Sasuke's fingers moving inside him was thrilling at the same time as it was painful, arousing and uncomfortably daunting. Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief as he drew his fingers out and Naruto fought a sigh of his own at the pressure finally leaving him. He knew that Sasuke's cock was much lager. He could see that himself. But, Sasuke had warned him and he felt that a connection of this kind, with him, was worth a little injury. He'd suffered worse. Besides, the fingers invading him would have been much easier to handle had he known it could feel better than having his penis stroked. But, he was afraid Sasuke would think it was weird and so would wait to say something later. Right now he was busy preparing himself for the inevitable pain that was sure to come.

"Spread your legs, Naruto," Sasuke murmured. Naruto did as he was told, widened his legs until they stretched the entire width of the bed, bringing his heels up so that his calves met with his thighs. Turning his head away, he felt both aroused and uneasy at exposing himself so readily and with light coursing down every detail of his body for Sasuke to see. He wanted to pull his legs closed but fought the urge when he felt fingers course through his hair and cup his chin. Looking back, he saw something so close to what all the adults in the village had saved for their children, or more accurately the lovers and spouses returning from work or escorting them out to dinner that the words dried up in his throat.

"Take a deep breath, hold it in, and relax, Naruto," Sasuke said eyes unflinching and hands shaking slightly. Though, Naruto wasn't sure if it was because he felt the same nervous fear or it was only passion.

Naruto drew in a deep breath and tried to calm himself as he watched, and felt, Sasuke brush his penis against him, then begin to press forward. The pressure was immediate, as it had been with his fingers. What Naruto hadn't expected was the burning sensation and the tight, scraping pressure welling inside as Sasuke drew back and press forward again and again until he'd worked partway inside. Naruto watched a look close to pain stretch over Sasuke's face and wondered if it was hurting him, too.

"Ohh, uhhnn, Naruto," Sasuke moaned softly between breaths. Well, that answered that question. He was obviously enjoying it. Naruto wanted very much for the slight itching, the overwhelming burning pain and the pressure to ease so that he could join him.

"Sasuke . . . ow," Naruto struggled to breath evenly, "It hurts . . . uh, hnn, god!" His voice shook madly and a hot sensation had leaked into his eyes. He realized rapidly that he was very close to actually crying. He shut them tightly. His lips quivered and he bit at them harshly while striving to breathe more evenly through his nose.

Sasuke concentrated and drew back a bit once more, frowning a little. Sweat trailed down his already soaked forehead and traveled down his neck and shoulders.

"It's so tight, tighter than I thought. I can't . . . Just . . . try to relax."

Sasuke pushed his dick in a little further each time, fighting to keep control as a heat he'd never before experienced closed over it. When he hit something deep inside Naruto's anus, he stopped. His penis was a little more than two thirds in and he'd hit something. Sasuke tried to remember if he'd ever seen a man drive fully into another and could only remember that happening with men who had smaller cocks or were doing it differently, while on their hands and knees. Sighing shakily he pulled out just a tiny bit, moving as gently and slowly as possible back in and out again. Then he did it again, watching for blood. Seeing only a small amount on his penis but none of it running down the flesh surrounding Naruto's anus, he relaxed a little. He relaxed more when Naruto stopped breathing so painfully large and the shuddering had almost completely subsided. Sasuke breathed as deeply as the exertion and the heat both inside and outside his dick would allow. He began to thrust, slowly at first then a little faster and smoother, in and out of Naruto. Drawing him in closer, Naruto wrapped arms around his middle and lay back at a more comfortable angle. It helped Sasuke reach a better angle inside and he began to thrust completely in and out as far as he had gone the first time hitting the same flesh he had then.

Naruto felt Sasuke pull away yet again, probably in order to increase the rhythm of his thrusts at a better angle or to find still another one. But, while it had begun to change the feeling of pressure and satiate the harsh, scraped feeling he'd been trying to ignore, Naruto hated it. Reaching up just enough to run shaking fingers through Sasuke's shining hair, slick with sweat, made it a little better.

But, the frantic feeling hadn't gone completely. He needed more, more touching, more kissing. He felt as though, looking at the other man's expression, that Sasuke was edging even further away. Naruto couldn't have that and didn't understand why.

He'd been left behind before, by Sasuke so he could push forward to greater strength and power, by Sakura and Jiraiya, even his father, to a place he could not reach. Maybe that was it? He did not want Sasuke to be somewhere Naruto could not.

Using his elbows as leverage, Naruto shifted to ghost his lips over Sasuke: his mouth, jaw, neck, and finally, whispering on down his collarbone. Smiling slightly when he heard Sasuke's breathing hitch, Naruto did it again only this time with his fingertips. So light, but it was enough.

With his lips, Naruto again stole the breath from Sasuke as the pace quickened further. It began to feel different inside once more, almost pleasant. Sasuke was panting now, grunting and almost moaning. Naruto heard his name on the heavy air and he grinned.

"Sasuke," it came out strange, unlike any other time he had uttered that name.

"I want all of it, everything," he had no idea what he was talking about, but it didn't matter because Sasuke smiled. Truly, an actual smile and it was beautiful in its simplicity. Naruto caught his breath and held it without realizing it at the sight.

He felt Sasuke shift again, the pace of his thrusts steady as an arm snaked around his lower back, forcing more contact. Yes, more. Their heaving chests seemed to meld together and Naruto was seeing every shadow, every spark of color off Sasuke's creamy skin; it glowed all on its own to Naruto's tortured mind. He could feel heat again pulling in his stomach and his penis stirred once more. He had lost a lot of his erection at the beginning, not really able to hold a coherent enough thought to ask why. Or maybe it was just that he knew he would feel stupid for asking even though Sasuke would have answered, and answered without any condescension.

"Mmmm, Naruto, I can't hold back anymore," Sasuke murmured into the skin of his chest. He moaned low and guttural. "I don't want to."

Naruto could not have understood the reality of that last statement, not yet, but it was there. And, they were both so close now, in so many ways. The pressure inside Naruto's abdomen increased; his cock, openly twitching and spilling a sticky, white-ish fluid, jumped at the feel of Sasuke's long nimble fingers. God, he did that only with one touch. It was all that Naruto could form in his head before the pleasure from Sasuke's impatient cock sliding roughly into his ass reached a whole new level.

"God, I think something . . . ," Naruto choked out.

"Sasuke, wait! Something's . . . ," Naruto rasped into his ear. This new feeling was frightening, it was so intense, as if Naruto was on the edge of some dark abyss, or weightless in heavy water.

"Shhh, not too much more, almost there," Sasuke whispered, and Naruto felt reassured at the velvety chocolate sounds.

That was until his orgasm hit fully and it was all Naruto could do not to carve runnels into the flesh of Sasuke's shoulders. He couldn't keep the shout from bucking its way from the back of his throat either.

Sasuke, panting and grunting all the way, forced his cock roughly inside him a few more times before moaning harshly and half-collapsing against Naruto's shoulder.

After they'd had a little time to catch their breath and Sasuke had released Naruto long enough to pull his softened cock from Naruto's protesting anus, Sasuke caught Naruto's chin between his forefinger and thumb. He must have felt me shaking, Naruto mused.

"Are you alright?"

Naruto could not see his lover's eyes all that well in the dim light of the end-table's lamp, but he could hear the hint of concern. That was one thing he could understand, even if all the other thoughts running through his head left him dazed and confused.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"You will be." Sasuke's reply was firm but Naruto wasn't assured this time.

"It hurt, really hurt, especially at the end," he mumbled softly to Sasuke's shoulder, leaning his head down to nuzzle it slightly.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sasuke hissed, leaning back quickly to glare at him.

"Really, of all the times to be silent . . .," Sasuke huffed indignantly.

Sasuke must have realized the line he had just crossed because he looked quickly up at Naruto, an unreadable expression on his face. Naruto felt his temper bubbling up, ever his friend and enemy. But the humiliation and hurt won over, making the growing stone in his stomach heavier.

"Well, I did at first, remember? But, after that, I didn't want to stop, really. And, I knew you would get mad. It's not like I knew what was going to happen," Naruto murmured as he stared sulkily out the window of their room.

Stupid Sasuke, that asshole, he actually made me say it.

Naruto seethed inside his own head completely forgetting for the moment what had had him so anxious that he'd snapped at Sasuke.

"Naruto," he heard Sasuke say his name firmly and, he realized, probably not for the first time while he'd been fuming.

Naruto finally looked at him, still feeling edgy and out of sorts, forget the fact that his ass was beginning to burn and small arrows of pain were lacing up his spine and back down again.

Damn that stupid fox for toning down the healing factor in order to better assimilate it to keep from harming Naruto. So what if it would stop shortening his lifespan or that he would still heal faster than other ninja?

"Naruto, I'm not mad. You really will be fine, but you have to tell me when it's too much or you think you're not . . . ready, enough." It looked like it had hurt Sasuke to say those last few words, or maybe they had just tasted bad. Naruto huffed out a breath but Sasuke held up a hand.

"No."

Naruto closed his mouth and waited, albeit grudgingly, his anger still unsatisfied.

"It will be better next time. It will be different. I'll make sure to keep a closer eye on everything." This was said with so much conviction, Naruto blinked. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Sometimes, Sasuke was still so hard to figure out, even if it felt easier. Naruto lowered his head before answering.

"You mean it won't hurt every time?" he mumbled softly.

He risked a peek at Sasuke when no answer was forthcoming and saw something else in his eyes he couldn't read before Sasuke closed them and shook his head.

"No. No. Naruto, it doesn't hurt every time and really shouldn't have hurt this time; at least, I don't think it was supposed to be that bad," Sasuke answered, his voice also going soft. Naruto watched him take a breath to steady himself before Sasuke raised his head to stare into his eyes determinedly.

"I'm sorry." And, Naruto blinked again, sure that this was some genjutsu.

"What?" He couldn't help but squeak, staring at Sasuke with his mouth half open.

Sasuke said nothing, opting to purse his lips and put his head down again while at the same time reaching to encase Naruto in a light embrace. The light breeze from the open window had cooled off their heated skin and dried the tangy sweat, though the heavy, musky scent Naruto now associated with sex was still present. He softened against Sasuke and sighed deeply.

"Okay." The two of them stayed like that a few more moments. Or, perhaps hours, Naruto really had no sense of time, lost in the feel of more satin and silk skin with hard muscle stretching and rippling fluidly underneath than he'd ever thought he'd get from Sasuke. Although they were still in the same compromising situation that had led to their first truly intimate escaped, sans clothes no less, Naruto felt more relaxed than he had in a while.

"Better?" Sasuke asked, an amused glint in his eye adding to the half smile gracing his mouth.

"Yeah," Naruto answered.

He reached up to play with Sasuke's hair again only to find his way blocked.

"We should get ready for bed," he answered Naruto's unspoken question gently. Feeling no urge to press the issue, Naruto relented. Besides, he was stiff going on sore, his ass felt shredded and strangely wet and all he could think was: shower then bed.

About an hour later saw them both clean, the bed redressed and the two lovers spooned together under the covers. Sasuke was spooning at Naruto's back, idly toying with the shortened spikes at the back of his head. He suddenly leaned in and kissed Naruto behind the ear.

"I think I like it better longer," he whispered.

Naruto missed the almost timid quality to Sasuke's voice. He sniffed.

"Like I'd change it for you," he scoffed. Naruto felt another kiss, this one at his temple, as Sasuke draped his arm over Naruto's shoulder in a relaxed embrace.

He could have sworn there had been a smile in that kiss as well, but soon found his mind befuddled with graying shadows and fire glinting off obsidian rock that shifted into a warm, light smile as he drifted off to sleep. Sasuke's measured breathing and soft laughter were the last things he heard, though, that too, could very well have been a part of his dream.

Sasuke squirmed on the slick sheets restlessly. His brow furrowed and sweat glistened on every inch of his body. A pained groan filtered out into the air quietly. Inside his mind there was chaos. His parents were speaking to him, asking him why he hated them so much that a mindless fling meant more than what they had done for him. His brother called him a fool and spit blood at his feet. Then it all morphed into a yawning darkness with eyes and teeth that glowed burning rage, while hissing and spitting snake venom at him. The images flew at him, his parents bemoaning their torture at bearing a failure and a coward, his brother marking him as an equal and yet the one person he had fought to protect even through his defection. The images sped up and, reeling, Sasuke fell to his knees in a pit that smelled strongly of blood, just as his home had, even after he'd cleaned the floors.

Shaking and crying out softly, Sasuke rose up off the bed and gasped in large gulps of air until he could breathe normally again. Glancing down at Naruto, he realized the other boy had slept through it. He looked worn out and his face was mottled from pain or maybe just discomfort. Sasuke cringed at the sight, knowing that he'd been the cause of at least some of it. Naruto had never really been one to hold onto anger or pain, but Hiroku, at least, had won over his resolve. Perhaps the recent attack, despite the villagers now rotting in jail by order of most of the rest of the village when they'd heard about it, might add to that. Tsunade had had to make a special announcement, something she never did when it came to the judgment of criminals though they were all a matter of public record, in order to calm the rising tide of outrage on Naruto's behalf. So, he really had changed most of them. But, right now, all Sasuke could think was that he had slept through it. He had not noticed Sasuke had been anything but calm while sleeping and Sasuke felt something like hurt at the thought. Rising from the bed, he slumped against the other side of the door to the bathroom and realized that a nurse was due in at any moment to check on him.

Returning to the room, Sasuke dragged on his clothes and exited through the window silently. He would not deal with the cringing, whining child that Naruto was sure to become by morning. He needed time to think. As he left, the bedcovers shifted again and Naruto sat up, rubbing at his eyes blearily and wincing at the pain shooting up from his anus to his lower back.

"Sasuke?" he called out, certain he had heard the other boy get up. When he neither heard nor felt the other person inside the room he realized that Sasuke had left. The sudden, agitated movements and soft moans that had invaded his sleep came back to him in a rush and he knew he had to find Sasuke, now!

Naruto caught up to him, finally, near a small glade and Sasuke had realized it. He had stopped and waited for Naruto to catch his breath, leaning on the stone wall to their right. The small field lay on the other side and a little bridge covered the gap of a tiny stream running through the middle and disappeared through an aqueduct running under the road in front of them.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked him quietly, unsure of what he had done or said to piss him off this badly. He could feel Sasuke's anger and the tension in the air mixing with it made the heat of the morning feel all that much closer for it. Sasuke snorted and turned away.

"I knew you wouldn't notice. This was a bad idea from the start," he mumbled.

"A bad idea? What are you talking about? Sasuke?"

Naruto reached for Sasuke's arm but he pulled it out of reach. Sasuke turned to look straight at Naruto, anger and pain burning in his eyes.

"Screwing you was a bad idea, Naruto. You're just like them. You don't see anything but what's in front of you, and even then you fail miserably."

Naruto sucked in a breath and drew back form the biting words but he didn't leave. He wouldn't leave, and Sasuke hated that.

"So, what, because they didn't all see what was going on with you they deserve the same thing happening to them? Is that really going to make it better? Instead of trying to make the pain less than it is, you'll just spread it around for everyone else? You're the one that's stupid!"

Naruto couldn't keep the anger and the panic out of his voice. Gods, he hoped this didn't end with Sasuke feeling like a wounded and weak failure, leaving him reckless and Naruto unconscious, or dead. He didn't want to die, but worse, he didn't want Sasuke to leave him, not again.

"I told you, you don't know what it was like! Just because you saw your father and mother through some vision that might not have been all true doesn't mean you actually know! I know! You don't, so stop trying to understand!" Sasuke yelled, stepping away from him and throwing his hands in the air.

"Well, neither do you! I might not understand that, but you don't understand me!" Naruto stalked toward Sasuke and slammed him into the wall of one of the surrounding buildings, curling his fists into Sasuke's clothes. Neither of them had stayed focused on their environment, too caught up in each other.

"They hated me! Do you understand what that really means? All I was doing was what every other kid here did every day and they hated me!" he shouted, panting by the end of it.

"I followed all of you around," Naruto's voice, still uneven, had at least gotten lower, "Not just because I wanted so badly for someone to look at me without it hurting but because I wanted to know the things you did."

Naruto heaved a few breaths trying to keep from choking on the fear rising in his stomach. He was losing it, losing control, and losing Sasuke with it. If he couldn't stop this now, Sasuke would go beyond saving and Naruto didn't want a world without him. That thought, realizing how true it was, scared him too.

"The words you knew," he forced himself to continue, "walking, running and jumping . . . all the things you probably heard from your parents I never got told. For the love of the Gods, even tying my own shoes . . . Teuchi-san and Ayame-neechan showed me how because I put them on the wrong feet at first and walked like that despite the pain. I didn't know the difference. I didn't know what a hug or handshake or a kiss meant. No one ever told me if I was good or that they were proud of who I was, not until Iruka helped me escape Mizuki. That was when I was twelve, Sasuke! No, I don't know, but neither do you!"

Naruto faced off with Sasuke growling the whole time, fists balled into his shirt and forcing him into the side of the building and an angry blush coloring his cheeks. The rush of the nearby stream buzzed in his ears. Sasuke growled right back at him, fighting for control, fighting to hold his anger to him.

"Shut up, you stupid moron! I'm only doing what they brought on themselves! They didn't see what was happening, or else they did and wanted it that way! Those dogs forced Itachi, my brother, into hating himself and our parents and it destroyed our family! Then, they allowed me, no made me, kill him for what they had caused!"

"And what about you, Sasuke!?" Naruto yelled through the tirade.

"What about me!?"

Tension crackled and fizzed in the air, dangerous and oppressive, as they each tried to outdo each other's pasts while also looking for a way to help the other escape them. Naruto pressed on, feeling as though he was getting closer to freeing enough of his lover to salvage his heart . . . maybe more.

"You didn't see it either," he said quietly into the tens silence that had suddenly enveloped them. Sasuke drew in a quick breath and stared, shock drawing over the anger on his face.

"Shut up," he answered, anger finally freeing his voice enough and making it low and hard.

"No. You didn't notice things about me, or your brother . . . not even your parents."

"Stop it," Sasuke warned, the panic growing stronger.

Naruto shook his head and pleaded with him silently. Sasuke managed to struggle free, but he wasn't really trying. He had never really been trying as Naruto again regained control and they ended up tangled together against the side of a nearby house. Sasuke screamed in his face and Naruto narrowed his eyes, flinching. Sasuke laughed weakly and seemed relieved, as if this had finally given him the strength he would need to hate everyone enough.

"So, you don't want to hurt anyone? I can do something about that," Sasuke said menacingly. Naruto was anything far from comforted at the veiled threat he heard in Sasuke's tone.

"Sasuke!" he tried one last time to reach him. "You've only ever tried one way of doing things after your family was murdered and it didn't work!" Sasuke clawed at Naruto's hands on his arms and struggled to flip him onto the pavement, anger making him sloppy. Naruto was relentless as always.

"I tried hating you! All of you! I tried being angry and all I got was more of those same looks, more blame and hatred and pain! So, I tried something else." Naruto was shouting again, unable to keep his voice from breaking at times. But, he realized that Sasuke had stopped struggling so much and seemed to be listening even if it wasn't a conscious effort.

"That didn't work, so I tried showing them something different. I played jokes and laughed a lot, even at myself. I fought hard during training, and it was difficult, especially when no one seemed to see it or chose praising you in favor of giving me something to work at. But, the second time worked! You saw that yourself! I'm not a monster anymore!!" He screamed the last part so loud that half the village must have heard it. Naruto didn't care. Sasuke had gone quiet too. He'd stopped struggling. Instead, he clutched at Naruto's shoulders, fingers working convulsively as if to draw out an answer to all that had gone wrong for them that way.

"You've only ever tried one thing and it didn't work," Naruto repeated, murmuring in Sasuke's ear as his hand reached to cup behind his neck, "So, I'm going to ask you, what now? What now, Sasuke?"

After a few moments, Sasuke shifted his hands, grinding his fingers into Naruto's lower back compulsively.

"I don't know," he whispered finally. "I don't know."

Naruto wrapped his arms around him and tightened his hold briefly when Sasuke tried to fight them.

"It's not a bad thing, not knowing everything," Naruto smiled a little when he heard Sasuke snort, "There's always someone or something that can help with that." He murmured.

"So, how about we try living for a little while? See what that brings us? It might be scary at first, but it's better to take the chance, then do nothing and be sure of only getting one thing, more of that past," Naruto persisted.

Sasuke had begun to shake and reflexively grasped onto Naruto tighter. Chains and locks and weights had begun to splinter and crack inside. All the pain he'd just barely been holding in check in order to keep it from engulfing him since his childhood burst forth. But, for the first time, Sasuke wasn't afraid of it swallowing him up.

Feeling hot tears build up and leak onto his cheeks and Naruto's shirt, he felt his muscles begin to relax even as they tensed with emotion. It was as if they knew it was finally going to get better even though he'd slid all the way down the mountain. So, Sasuke cried; he let go, he let everything go. He had someone with him, now, and risk as it was, he was not going to give up the chance this time. He would try to climb back to the summit and over the edge, letting Naruto guide him. Because, Naruto had been right; he had to try something else or this would never end, he would never heal. He wasn't sure, because he'd learned that parents try to hide a lot of what they are from their children out of fear they wouldn't understand or be ready for it, but he felt that they would agree, and feel proud. And, that was really all he wanted, all he had ever wanted.