2. Light

The sun was high in the sky, throwing rays of tinkling light through the intricate glass ceiling above them, and falling in heavenly patterns on the table between them.

James looked happy and healthy; his honeymoon had been a much needed break from the war. His skin shone, and his eyes were bright.

Sirius was hungover as all hell; he had been on double missions for the Order in James' absence, and had witnessed two deaths in those three short weeks. He scratched his stubbly chin, feeling both pleasure and discomfort in the rumble of his stomach, and the warm sun on his cotton clad back. He was at least, alive.

He smiled gently, as Prongs told him another anecdote from his and Lily's time in Croatia, sipping his orange juice and looking at James through one squinted eye. James was happy. That made some part of him happy.

"… and the entire load went smashing onto the deck- at least three tourists went slipping into the water. It was mayhem, mate. Lily wanted to divorce me in that moment, I think, but when the improper use of magic office didn't come pounding at our door, she eventually saw the humor in it."

James' eyes were twinkling, as if he were still looking out on a vast clear ocean. Sirius let out a bark of laughter, enjoying living vicariously, in a world of whimsy, free of war. He tried not to imagine what Lily looked like on a beach in a bathing suit, sun in red hair.

Their muggle waitress breezed over to put a steaming mug of tea down in front of Sirius, and a tiny coffee in front of James. She caught Sirius' eye as she did so- smiling shyly. Chestnut hair and chocolate eyes. Sirius smiled back, squinting against the sun and chuckling warmly at her sweet meekness. She bit her lip and hurried away.

"- And I see it has been business as usual back home," James said with amusement, watching her go. Sirius raised his eyebrows at the quip, nodding towards James' cup.

"Let me guess, Croatian fashioned?"

"A 'Cortado'."

"How sophisticated."

Sirius smirked as James threw up a balled up piece of napkin at him. The anxious mess of his nerves was more calm, being around James again. Here, at least, was a friend to joke with- to direct some of the unbearable energy in his never-resting mind at.

"Lily wants to know how come you didn't write to her while we were gone," James said mock-sternly.

Sirius shifted in his seat, the sun catching his vision in a way that sent a stab of pain through his aching head.

"I'm sure she does," he said wryly, rolling his eyes. But really, his heart was twisting in that way that was both incredibly painful and incredibly, beautifully, pleasurable. He couldn't quite meet James' amused gaze, so he fixed his tea, cursing as he scalded himself, and spoke to his mug. "Tell her I was too busy making sure a few more Death Eaters would be dead upon your return home."

He said this mostly joking, but it was followed by stark silence.

"You really want me to tell her that?" James asked softly after a few moments, a little of the light notably gone from his eyes. Sirius instantly quelled inside, recognizing the Black stain he was putting on their newfound joy and ease.

"No," he muttered hastily, "sorry mate. That was morbid. You've been away from it all- I wasn't thinking. Tell her," he tried to grin at James, and put on a theatrical air, gesturing with his hands in a Shakespearian fashion, "that I missed her so much, I simply could not bear to put pen to parchment."

It was actually not far from the truth. James chuckled and stirred his coffee, looking at Sirius exasperatedly and saying, "... Will do."

The light was back in his eyes and Sirius hoped it would stay there for as long as possible.